I still haven't sorted my head out, but here's a small piece of the lovely bullshit RL force-fed me during my absense. Excuse the format, but this is literally how my brain is wrapping around this particular situation.
| 1st Person | Action | 2nd person |
| Mother | is seeing | Some guy named Marlon |
| Mother | fancies herself in love with | Marlon |
| Mother | loses mind | |
| Mother | gives set of houses keys to | Marlon |
| Mother | does not inform | me |
| Marlon | is never serious and begins to annoy | me |
| Marlon | is here nearly all the time | |
| Marlon | one days fucks up with | Mother |
| Is large fuck up | ||
| Mother | breaks off with | Marlon |
| I | am very happy | |
| Marlon | comes back and begs forgiveness from | Mother |
| Mother | is fucking wuss | |
| Marlon | is back | |
| I | [censored] | |
| end | ||
Oh, and does anyone remember this rant? Well there was a reason to it, and that's one of the other things that's been dragging me under.
I think I mentioned it in one of those letters-to-therapist. Basically, she's gushing over one of her children's possible future, while sabotaging mine. Which isn't anything new, she's been doing that to me for as long as I can remember. Not intentionally. Never intentionally, really, but I don't know if that makes it worse or better.
I know of late I've been making her feel guilty, because I keep loudly complaining of my lack of a pestle and mortar (which I could have gotten had she not borrowed more money from me), but this time I really don't fucking care. She was willing to help pay half of my sibling's reg fees to get into this school, but I can't even keep my own funds to do what I'd like to do. And it's not like I'm blowing my (meager) income on bullshit. Well, if I could keep it to myself long enough to do any gods-be-damned thing with it.
Bitter? DAMN RIGHT! I'm tired. But the only way out is "out", literally. But, couple of eyars, that may become a reality. David wants out too, and he already said he wants me as his roommate. We get along really good (we ony have one major fight every 1-2 years). I'll take that, and she can take her precious Marlon and they can go break their bed or something. (in their condition, maybe their backs if they keep it up).
I'm going to stop now, before the rest of that crap I mentioned that's still jumbled in my head starts pouring out.
::goes off to torment inner child for hell of it::
