Sunday, March 09, 2008

(10:00 pm PT) - Boo
[link] - (frustrated)

Today doesn't exist. No, really, it was a figment of my imagination. Or perhaps a nightmare. And I'll wake up sometime tomorrow, only it will be today, because today didn't happen.

Don't ask, just chalk it up to school wank.

To RP group, sorry for leaving anything hanging as it's been a rough weekend. Anything I owe will get done tomorrow... (which will be today far as I'm concerned)

Saturday, March 08, 2008

(9:35 am PT) - Life, Drama, and Chore Wars
[link] - (drained)

This might be a teal deer on the feed. I wonder if there's a way to validate or create a tag exception so I can use an LJ cut from the blog? Hmm...

Life. Mom went to visit the grandmère yesterday, and mentioned she didn't look as well as she did just last week. So now we're wondering if she even has the 6 months the doctor gave her. I'll visit her next week, though I made the stipulation only if my sister isn't there. I just refuse to play nice when I really never wanted to see her again.

Drama, i.e. school. Much wank thanks to instructor with inconsistent grading, posting class policies into optional attendance areas, and taking such a hands off approach in general as to the point I consider him a glorified and overpaid grading TA who just marks the papers. I'm annoyed with the grading more than anything. For me, if I make a genuine mistake, I would like to be graded accordingly. If I screw up to where it's a failed assignment, give me the fail so I'll know from jumpstreet that I messed up. Do not give me leniency the first time, then grade harder the next unless you're telling me that's what you're doing. Basically, let me know I made the mistake so I won't repeat it. That's how one learns. (Imagine that.)

chichiri posted an interesting site link the other day. It's called Chore Wars. I believe the chores/tasks can be edited I want to use it for both my writing and schoolwork, just going to have a time figuring what's an adequate reward without making it too easy or hard. Will think on it.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

(7:23 am PT) - nh
[link] - (indescribable)

I didn't want to mention this until I had a timeframe. Now that I do... not that knowing helps any.

My older sister's grandmère has been diagnosed with liver cancer. I suppose I like the woman well enough, though I admit to having some issues when I learned about some of the things that happened between her and my stepfather. But that's beside the point. What this is doing now is damn near forcing me to acknowledge (and interact with) my sister, whom I still can't stand, and was planning on spending the rest of my life never seeing again.

Of course I had the "do it for 'granny' talk from mom. But even though I admit to liking the woman well enough, I can't say I feel close enough to her to deal with my sister. (I don't even like using 'granny', but would rather use her nickname of 'Pep'.) And she's not related to me, a fact my sister very loudly and rudely pointed out to our younger sister during an argument. In fact, she (and she alone) has often conveniently pointed out and claimed various unique blood-ties when it suited her. (And yet still didn't go to her own father's funeral, but everyone thought she did because I went.) But I digress.

It's very hard for me to let bygones be bygones when there was absolutely no resolution. Plus, school is very important to me and sapping my will to live takes up a tremendous amount of time. Plus I just know when I go over there I'm going to hear crap like 'you've gained weight'. (I know this, that's why I've traded my treadmill for a bike, thanks.) And 'what are you doing with your life'. (Back in school and working on it, helLO.) It will be very difficult not to point out that darling sis has graduated from UCLA and is currently unemployed, so kindly get off my derrière. I'm not one for humouring people unless absolutely necessary.

But knowing the timeframe (6 months, though I'm told that's a standard given for this and could well be longer) can I force myself to put aside differences, leave my comfort zone, and go visit once? It may seem easy and I should get over myself, but when I say I wasn't ever planning on seeing my sister again, that was one step shy of a blood vow. If I could stomach cutting myself, it might have been one at that.

I don't know. I think for now I'm going to finish this current class and think on it when my break comes up on the 17th. In the mean time, I'll do what I can to support mom, who is taking it hard.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

(5:40 pm PT) - And just because I don't spam often...
[link] - (geeky)

To my fellow Slayers fans.

Squee with me now!

My day suddenly perked right up.

(5:28 pm PT) - For the record
[link] - (busy)

I'm not ignoring anyone. I'm just stuck somewhere under a pile of schoolwork and family problems. On the family front, it looks like my cousin will be able to visit this Saturday.

Ah, and little mix-up. He's not my nephew. (I wish, but none of mom's kids are too keen about reproducing just yet.) He's a first cousin twice removed. (What a mouthful.) Though something tells me I will wind up being called aunt.

Maybe I'll have him call me tante.

School sucks. There's no other way to call it, really. I'm doing okay gradewise, but it's like school concentrate. And I can't add water.

And damn you, Marvel. Sabretooth is not supposed to look hot. And I certainly didn't want to get into a new series. ::grumbles::

Friday, February 22, 2008

(12:03 am PT) - Damn
[link] - (depressed)

As a general rule I tend to not like kids. But my cousin's son... he needs help because he's got two lousy parents, a grandmother (also my cousin) who doesn't give a damn, and a great-grandmother (my aunt) who plays favourites, of which he's not one. And I hear what he goes through and I want to help but I fucking can't. It's bad enough when I hear or read about other kids that go through this on the news and such, but knowing this is happening in my own family and there's not a bloody thing I can do about it. I hate this. And I want to scream at my sister not to tell me what's happening, yet I don't. I just feel so powerless because the only option I'd likely have would be to try and show she's an unfit mother (trust me, not hard) and take him myself. But I can't because I live with other people, plus I have the smallest room. (If I had the master I'd say screw it and the kid would share with me.) Yet calling Children's Social might get him tossed into the system which could be as bad if not worse.

It's not that he's being abused so much as just neglected. The kid's pretty much alone, his mother is unreliable and doesn't know the first thing about being a mother on the emotional level. Just, argh.

Is it wrong wishing I'd just never been told, if only because it feels like my hands are tied?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

(2:34 pm PT) - hmrph
[link] - (indescribable)

I think everything is working, save maybe those email notices on the RP board. Not sure yet. Anyway, I still advise keeping an eye out. Support was and wasn't helpful. They fixed the obvious problems but 1: kept creating new ones, and 2: spoke to me like I didn't read their so-called tips and instructions when I damn well did. (Obviously if those had worked I wouldn't have needed to contact support now would I?) Hn.

In other (and for me largely triumphant) news, I finished scanning my graphic and related novels into LibraryThing. (I'm debating if I want to include my none Jp books/novels.) For the curious (it was 440 at last count), my catalog can be found at http://www.librarything.com/catalog/LNTora

The cover view is kinda pretty, but image heavy for those with slower connections.

(4:14 am PT) - If it's not one thing it's another...
[link] - (distressed)

The host saw fit to upgrade certain aspects of php whether I wanted it done or not, and it's causing all kinds of trouble. I already sent in a support ticket. If you have a site under me, please go look it over.

I know the changes are for the best from a security standpoint, but it would be nice if they're going to do that to offer some kind of service to help sites like mine out to make sure they're forward compatible.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

(9:06 pm PT) - breathing
[link] - (tired)

Evidence to the contrary, I didn't fall off the face of the earth, even if I wished I had. No, it was finals week in my class. (Glad that one's over) Plus to make matters worse, I made the mistake of playing some of DMC4 in front of mom. Now she wants me to play it so she can watch. Hrr.

Amber, Moonie, emails came in okay, no worries. Thanks!

I'm still crafting, just so slowly as not to be believed.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

(11:01 pm PT) - formula of the day
[link] - (annoyed)

student evaluation of peers class work = massive moronic sucking on Stupidity.

I could go into detail, but I'll be nice and just leave it at that. I hate reviewing peer work and I hate peers reviewing my work. Honestly, if they're in class along with me, they know as much as I do, and I don't find that a good qualification to allow them to review it, thanks.

total posts to date: 1522

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