Before I say anything, please understand these maniacal/insane/lunatic ravings are a type of therapy. I'm not writing to sound bitter/depressed/agry/upset/etc, but rather to give an outlet to those emotions lest they try and eat my from the inside. I have enough problems, I don't need to explode on top of it.
That'd be messy.
Don't cry for me, ArgenKita.
Streaming conscious set to music. Song: Escape Club - Wild Wild West (Sue me, I'm listening to my 80s playlist)
And I try the experiment knowing it's doomed from the start, because how can anyone have a nervous breakdown while they're in a good mood, anyway?
"What do you expect, playing 80s music? The 80s were the living symbol of utter shallow-ism. Ism... Ism..."
Don't think it. Gah, let's go to the surreal playlist.
"Siouxsie and the Banshees, Counting Crows, Alanis Morissette, more Escape Club."
I want the lyrics. That song is talking about love and death and reaching beyond and I don't have a clue, mainly in that I can hear the words, but the meaning is so far beyond me... can anyone really feel that towards another humanbeing, or is it simply to sell a song?
"Commercialism everywhere you look, baby. Nothing is sacred. Religion is another commercial, you know."
Whoa, it's coming now. Figures it'd be a Counting Crows song, too. Hell, he sounds like he was high when he wrote this one.
"Well duh."
He's singing to me. "he sings to everybody like that, trust me"
I feel special. "You're unique... just like everyone else."
Anyone else think it slightly odd that Ms. Morissette was able to take a four syllable word and turn it into twelve syllables? And I've yet to decipher this song, Uninvited. It's beyond me.
"Like the other Escape Club one?"
I prefer Still. It is perhaps the only song that has a remote chance of making me believe in faith again.
"This just in, new hockey league in hell. 'The weather is perfect here.' says one player."
::pauses to listen to another song::
Sorry, I can't stream on that song. It's a world unto itself.
I'm so tempted to MST a song. Has it been done before? Probably. Still...
::looks for lyrics::
And proving you can't force a stream, just to note.
"You're a little late, Einstein."
It was an experiment. Happy/good/content moods are not good streaming emotions.
"We once had a philosophy prof who said being content was the equivalent to being a cow chewing grass. We flipped him the finger."
And now we go to the stage of typing the first things that come out of our... fingers... as we listen to certain songs (which shall not be named just for the hell of it in some cases). Step back, I don't want to be responsible for any mental injuries.
::puts surreal CD in and hits random::
....rollercoasters. I'm sure she was talking about rollercoasters. Nevermind the name of the song would lead me to believe she's talking about pot. Rollercoasters. Emotional ones that are better than an E ticket (whatever the hell that ever meant, I'm not that old) and leaving you dizzy and high and broken and sad and who the hell is Mary Jane anyway?
::next song::
BWA HA HA HA HA HA... ::snicker:: Yeah, right. Perfect. Sure. Obviously this is not a song who's meaning is aimed at myself. I'd love for someone to say I have to be perfect. I'd quickly counter. If the deities aren't perfect, I don't think I have to be. And they'd have to be imperfect just for the fact that there's an idiot floating around who feels I have to be perfect. Yah.
Don't ask, I just have an affinity for the word idiot. It rolls off the tongue. Moron's another one, but not the same bite to it, you know?
::next song::
...you know, one would say Ms. Morissette had an awful lot of male acquaintances, if this song is any indication. You have to respect anyone who can cram that many syllables into a measure, IMO. So this is what happens when one gos to find inner peace in India, huh? I'll settle for going to 'Frisco. Maybe I can find some cute bi guy who's not camera shy.
Sue me, I'm a sadist with voyeuristic tendencies. Least I know what I like, and I'm not forcing anyone else to submit to my choices (unless their cute, male, legal, and want to).
::nother song::
...and much like I've had to say with a few partners, this does nothing for me. It falls flat. Sheesh.
::and another::
If I look at/interpret this song the wrong way, I can easily say that every idiot is a god. Scary thought, isn't it?
And every time I hit the bridge, I see a group dancing around a bonfire offering their celebration up to the goddess...
..and why isn't religion genderless, anyway? Who denoted that god was male or a male word? Why is there a female version 'goddess'? I want a new, genderless word to replace the now un-P.C. titles defining deitic entities (and I am well aware that deitic is not a word but it's my journal and I can make it up any way I feel like). ::sticks out tongue::
::last one for now::
This is the one I can't understand. Emotions reaching beyond life and death. Loving someone so much to want to leave your presence everywhere so they won't be hurt though your gone... No, I don't understand. I'm not familiar. I like the song, I enjoy the melody, but I can't grasp the meaning anymore than a blind person can read a word printed out in a book (braille doesn't count).
"Just think of me, and I'll be there..."
But what if I've never met you before. Would you still be there as well?
"She doesn't realized she's doing that even now, does she?"
He's not real...
"Except where it counts."
...is that a kind of death too?
"He's immortal, nobody can take him away from you."
But to feel this way towards flesh and blood... That is what I don't understand. I suppose, no, I know it's possible to feel that towards something that was never born in the traditional sense of the word (screw all the psychologists who say it ain't healthy, because it's a sanity anchor right now, thankyouverymuch), but towards a real person?
"What the hell are you scared of besides the obvious?"
...I can't lose myself within myself, can I? It sounds rather redundant.
"...to lose yourself in another..."
I can't, I won't. That's not healthy in any sense of the word.
"Admit it. It isn't that you can't understand the song..."
...I'm just afraid of it.
