To sleep perchance to dream, to sleep perchance to forget, or, to sleep perchance to never wake up...
Well, whatever happens, I'm going to lay down and sleep for a bit. Even though lately I feel just as drained when I wake up. Just so tired, but whether it's physical or something else...
I wish I could go back to that abandon house I saw. I want to know what was it that looked at me, and why.
And I wish... I could dream when I sleep. Good dreams, or at least wistful thinking, like dreaming about a nice yaoi paring or something.
Or dreaming about a silver haired angel to make me believe reality will work out for me.
...at least I would sleep, except I live in an apartment complex with a bunch of inconsiderate assholes who feel they must share their idea of music (I don't find songs with singers who don't sing but talk about female anatomy, sexual intercourse, or random acts of violence over areas of city that rightly doesn't belong to anyone as music, but that's just me) with me, whether I want them to or not.
Guess I have to play my own CDs and try and cocoon myself in a veil of sound of my own choosing. So... flip the fan on high (I like the sound of the fan's motor. It's strangely comforting) and stick in latest burned CD (eclectic mix, this one).
Does everyone have that one person they can just let everything go with? Someone they can say "I feel like diving off the Golden Gate and taking a swim with the fishes" and the person won't immediately put them in the mental ward, but will instead just listen?
If you do... tell me what it's like. I thought I had someone like that, but she turned out to be a flake who was emotionally selfish. When I needed her the most after losing first my step father then my uncle, she was no where to be seen. I would have accepted this, except when I asked her why, one of the reasons given was "I just didn't want to go."
Kinda harsh coming from someone who wants you to give them the label of best friend.
She's not, BTW. Not by a long shot. I heard recently she's having troubles at home, but after that, I can't offer her my sympathies (especially knowing most of the cause of the problems are from her end anyway).
I haven't bothered looking for anyone else to fill that space. I'm too tired.
I just want to sleep.
