"Change is inevitable... except from vending machines..."
07 / 18 / 02
General
Raine, I decided to put this reply to my own blog, in case of longevity...
Playing devil's advocate, simply because I can... I didn't know you that well when you where "Happy Raine". And truth be told, I didn't consider you that 'bleak and dismal' once I did get to know you. But then, I like slightly sarcastic people. I like realists who know what the deal with the world is, and can still fire a zinger off for nothing more than a cheap laugh. I like honesty. Not saying that being happy doesn't make you honest, though I don't have much experience there.
And another thing, people change. I certainly have. Before I hit fifteen, I would be considered a 'nice' person. Some people still think I am, but the fact is I don't go out of my way to be. And even then, it's only to select few, be the OL friends of RL (actually, I have no RL friends, just oen or two associates. RL "friends" turned out to be great sources of stress). Before, I would in fact try to be nice to everyone, including that bitch sister of mine. But circumstances forced me to adapt. It was either change, and begin giving people a stoney demeanor unless/until they proved they deserved otherwise, or keep being nice, and keep getting kicked in the ass, and keep getting depressed, which would have eventually led to something not too pleasant. Sorry, but while I'm not afraid of dying, I'm not taking myself out.
Tangent. The fact is that this person who said this did you a disservice, I feel. "You know what? You're not my friend anymore. Not the one I've known most of my life." Um, helLO? Do you think a person is going to remain the same way they were a year ago? Two years? Ten? No. Life doesn't let you remain innocent and carefree, unless you live in a place that's spring year round and you can run barefoot through the grass and there isn't another human for at least a thousand miles... and the land is surrounded by a large body of water, filled with pirahnna. It doesn't happen.
If you're becoming 'happy' because it's really what you want to do, Raine, then of course I'll support you. If, however, it's solely because of what this person said, I can't, I'm afraid. I will still be your friend and will enjoy talking to you and making 'papers for Shike. I will still like cross-blogging and sharing ideas, but it's against my personal morals, few though they are, to change either back into something, or into something completely different, for anyone. I change for two reasons, need, and desire, and both reasons center around myself. If people don't like my changes, they are free to leave. And it makes me appreciate the ones who stay even more.
As for which Raine I like, I like the Raine that is, and always will be, honest to, for, and with herself.
Sorry, spammers forced my hand. Comments reviewed before being published.
Comments: 1 wind
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Thanks, Gen.
Though I could never change for someone else. It would be a lie, and I would grow to hate/resent them for it.
Finally found those Yue pics, btw. They're from the second movie. I'll upload them in a bit and find a way to send you the adress.
( 9:45 am )