---

(7:14 am PT) - Questions
[link] - (exanimate)

First, to Mina, There's a question for you from Kit over here.

Second, Steph at the vidroom asked me for some suggestions for the "Pretty Boys Oldies" theme night. Basically older series like Earthian and WK. Outside of GB, which might not be old enough, I couldn't think of anything myself, but promised to ask the flist. So any anime you think would fit the theme?

Sorry for the silence. Been some drama/wank/stupidity here that I didn't want to really bother with posting about. Just trudging through school and still writing PW fic, though I don't know if I'm going to even post it anywhere. Hm.

drama drama goose

---

(8:27 pm PT) - I make epic Fail
[link] - (exanimate)

Today I make teh Fail Gravy, as I really did absolutely nothing. Most of today was spent in bed reading PW kink meme. I feel so underproductive.

Anyway, I fail mainly because Mina's fic is so not done. (End, you damn plotbunnies, end!) So, Mina, tis your fic, and I'm going to finish it (I owe it 500 words tonight). Just wondering how you want it: all of what I have so fair and the rest when done, or just in parts until the end?

Must quit reading PW kink meme. It's sucking out my will to live. But damn it gives me so much Phoenix angst love I could cry.

---

(7:39 pm PT) - Doh, I make the fail
[link] - (exanimate)

Luverly Gnome was born April 3rd. Unfortunately, I forget she's across the dateline from me and that translate into April 2nd for me. >_< I phail.

Hope it's a good one, Gnome, (or least stress free).

Site burped earlier, but seems to be back now. Do not like site burps, no.

---

(6:35 pm PT) - random randomness
[link] - (exanimate)

I have started school. Ugh. Hence disappearing this time. Worse, there's a good chance I'm in the wrong program. [insert swearing here] Oh well, I'm only four days in. Hopefully I can get out with minimal fuss.

Though to be fair, the visual literacy class did look interesting.

Yesterday Postman Claus made a delivery with included box from Gnome, crafty shrink paper, and blank phone cords/straps/whatever you want to call them. After ensuring the purchases was intact so I didn't have to go throttle someone, the Gnome Box was gleefully ripped apart opened with the gentlest of care. ... cough. However, my magnets were commandeered by the mater and now the grog money pot is on the big fridge, while the dingo, along with a gecko, are on the mini fridge. (She had way too much fun posing the Dingo, too.) The caramels are making a concentrated effort to stick to my teeth, but I shall prevail! The card is going up on my shelf, soon as I find some space. ::nods::

Discovered I have the wrong craft wire gauge (24) for the candles (26). I'm going to try anyway and hope for the best. ::crosses fingers::

::pats flist:: Everyone good? Or well enough as I know the case may be?

---

(9:38 am PT) - This is why nobody likes this country...
[link] - (exanimate)

This annoys me. Not the fact that there are this many being sold on ebay, which means all these people who bought one did it solely for a quick buck, but the fact that people are actually bidding and the prices are going stupid. That is entirely too much money just being wasted, and for what? (Hell, retail price is a waste, really.)

I really want a Wii now. Better system, lower price, more common sense.

---

(12:25 am PT) - Over, least for another two months
[link] - (exanimate)

With two minutes to spare, both final projects were posted to their respective classes.

So now I'll be over here with brain oozing out my ear. Because everyone should spend their Easter on final assignments, right?

I ♥ Kaie.

---

(10:27 pm PT) - hedonistic
[link] - (exanimate)

There is an almost hedonistic quality to drinking anything from a wineglass.

Big thank you to everyone who's linked to the survey. Responses have slacked, so I'll post a link in the YD_cafe and see if I get any responses there.

Randomly, has anyone upgraded to SP2? If so, can you tell me if you had any problems or how difficult it is? I want to start using the ie7 beta, but I need sp2, which I have been wary of upgrading to.

---

(8:47 pm PT) - ...
[link] - (exanimate)

Anyone needing a direct link through the usps site to complain, here it is.

http://hdusps.esecurecare.net/cgi-bin/hdusps.cfg/php/enduser/ask.php

When you get to where it asks for a topic, select delivery, then delivery issues. (Oh boy, are there issues.)

---

(6:57 pm PT) - "I am barely breathing"
[link] - (exanimate)

This one's a bit long, so I'm 'cutting' it so as not to eat up your friends pages on LJ.
How life has been since the last post

---

(11:22 am PT) - So far...
[link] - (exanimate)

Because I feel remiss when I don't acknowledge the lovelies I get, but I've been swamped and forgetting...

On the remaining days of the apocalypse Xmas my dark masters glist mailed this way.... (and no, this isn't a song parody)

Two lovely doujinshi - Mirchan
Spiral DVD 1 - Ki
Christmas card with a to be continued - Moonchan
RightStuf GC, who were being fucktards and wouldn't ship directly to me - Mina

Once I finish the last item, things will be shipped, though it looks like it won't be until Tuesday, so... consider them New Year's gifts instead. And why not? I'm to the point of not celebrating any other holiday, I swear. New Year's Eve is right up my alley. Booze.

---

(10:48 am PT) - ToGet
[link] - (exanimate)

I didn't do a ToGet list in November, because I didn't get anything. I was waiting for my bank to change address, then, well you know what happened if you read my previous posts. Anyway, here's what I'm getting this month and coming months, but note, I haven't ordered anything yet. So if anyone wants to get me anything from said list, let me know. (No, that's neither a hint nor a request. This is for anyone who just wants to and might not know what to get me for Xmas. But really, anything is fine, because I'm not looking for a thing.)


Getting and ToGet

---

(2:02 pm PT) - In case one wonders why I want out
[link] - (exanimate)

Conversation as it took place earlier today.

Brother: ::searching through box, pulls out two cords::
Me: ::still looking for extra cord:: Phonecord! And dsl filter!
Me: Can I borrow those?
Brother: Uh-uh!
Me: Why?
Brother: Because I need them and I won't get them back.
Me: ... ::takes five minutes to explain how original cords are on the way, they just weren't packed yesterday. Does not point out that brother doesn't have his dsl transfered yet, and therefore the cords are of no use to him::

I want out.

---

(2:23 pm PT) - SNAFU
[link] - (exanimate)

As the title says, life is SNAFU. Then again, when is it not?

Trying to work on variation of Key game. Something a bit easier to handle, even with a commitment. The site design is coming slowly, however. Not sure what's going to go where.

Still nothing on the actual key fic I wrote. Writing it off as a lost cause.

Sleep pattern is screwed, not sure why.

Just a wee bit down. Nothing serious, (least I hope). Just going to try working on this game/site a bit more, I suppose.

---

(10:08 am PT) - urgh
[link] - (exanimate)

Enter password

---

(2:37 pm PT) - Even less to look forward to
[link] - (exanimate)

It appears at some point I'm going to be alone on my bday, because the M-unit wants to go to a credit seminar.

I was actually expecting something like this sooner or later. So I'm not bummed out so much as just numb, I guess.

Anyway, I'm giving myself a break, by playing Lament of Innocence. Even though I have two games that I haven't touched, I don't feel like taking on completely new games at the moment. And LoI is an old friend. Besides, I like how pissy Leon sounds in some of the cut scenes with Rinaldo.

... no, brain. I'm not writing RinaldoxLeon smut, so shut it.

Kalli, thanks for taking care of the ad for me. Do you take cash or fic? /^^\

---

(7:23 am PT) - Blogathon reminder
[link] - (exanimate)

Blogathon happens tomorrow, August 6th. However, sponsor reg and such will stay open even after the blogathon is over, so if you want to wait and see if we actually make it the full 24 hours before handing over any money, you can.

For more info, you can view the BT campaign

<end ad>

---

(8:06 pm PT) - ennui
[link] - (exanimate)

My Mirchan lies over the ocean.
My Mirchan lies over the sea.
My Mirchan lies over the ocean.
Please bring back my Mirchan to me.

Randomly, I feel odd at how Kit has me listed among blogs that have so much more thought provoking content than I will ever put any effort into getting. It almost makes me want to post of various affairs of the world, life, and other such matters.

... then I pop in DMC2 and totally let my shallow side take over again.

---

(9:42 pm PT) - again, dot dot dot
[link] - (exanimate / blah)

I've got a terrible ennui, and not sure how to get out of it.

And fillings coming up Monday.

joy.

---

(9:36 pm PT) - Nice host
[link] - (exanimate)

One of the ways you can tell you got a nice host, when they actually remember that you joined up a year ago. And remember that you thought they might be spammy or flaky, but applauded their efforts to contact you.

Thanks, Mr. Tremain. And don't worry, I know you're not spam now.

To Larissa: Pheh, don't even worry about it. I'm actually surprised at how many people actually read this thing. (I only use LJ for private posts and such, or so people can friend me if they want me to see their locked posts, too.)

Randomly, my fan is causing my chair to vibrate in unusual ways. How am I suppose to get any work done with that sort of distraction?

And to end, after six months, there's a new Key game up. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can read more over at The Palace. I did one a few years ago, so thought I'd try my hand at another.

Yes yes, such excitement in my life, isn't it? Oh well, C'est la vie.

---

(3:16 pm PT) - Yes, I heard
[link] - (exanimate)

I know, he's off the hook, MJ is. Mom told me at my request, because I didn't want to give the media the satisfaction of my watching to find out.

Frankly, I'm glad he's off, not because I'm a fan, (I haven't been one for awhile), but the whole thing was one big freakin' setup from the start. He held them hostage, but wait, she got a bikini wax? Right. And as one woman pointed out, she knew he was accused before. Why would you leave your child alone with someone who was accused once of molestation, even if the charges were dropped? And verily I'm tired of the media with their 2 cent comments and really wanting to label him guilty from jumpstreet.

Oh yes, post trial comments. To the DA with the remark about how if this had been in the south, the trail would have gone much quicker? I fervently hope you wind up kissing your job goodbye, you wormy, mealy-mouthed, ass-licking piece of shit.

Now, I'd just like my tv and news back, with the usual murders, muggings, and political raping of society, thanks.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George W. Bush

---

(9:53 pm PT) - Boredom
[link] - (exanimate)

Ever get so bored you actually can't even create anything to try and get your mind off the fact that you are bored out your skull?

Well if you have or haven't, know that it's what I'm experiencing at present.

Of course, it doesn't help that I have zero RL friends.

::goes off to find Prétear yaoi... somewhere...::

---

(11:38 pm PT) - It burst and got on my shoes
[link] - (exanimate)

Usually I make it a point of saying exactly who is getting on my nerves whenever I get into one of my uber ranty posts. I'm not going to this time. Just be aware that it's probably not you as you read this. But if you want to take it personally, I can't stop you.

I'm very tired of being a dog-owner. By this I mean patting people on the head and saying good boy/girl, or some other trivial, half-hearted drivel when I know good damn well I don't mean it. I can't mean it, because the pity tanks have gone dry. So I'm not going to bother, not when the gesture can't be returned in some way/shape/form. Not when words and promises are forgotten, or worse, said on a whim with no intention of ever being fulfilled. And don't expect me to be understanding. If a word is given, then there you are.

I can accept someone being late. I still owe people things, and I have every intention of giving as I said I would. So late isn't a problem. But to act as though such an obligation never existed in the first place, to conveniently let it slip the mind, sorry, that's unforgiveable.

I'm nobody's emotional punching bag. I listen when I can because I want to, because I still care. When that gets taken for granted, when there's a constant withdrawel and no deposit, the account runs into the red and I'm forced to close it.

I don't like to lie, especially when I don't have to. Tactful is one thing, but when I'm expected to perform to a certain template for someone else's sake, consider it quits.

So in short, sayonara.

---

(1:25 pm PT) - ToGet update
[link] - (exanimate)

Remember when I said I'd be broke April? Well, I will be. Worse, the stuff from March Still hasn't shown up.
The list: (Bold is the stuff I just got. Normal is back from March that hasn't arrived yet)

Manga:
Angel Sanctuary 2*
Descendants of Darkness 4
Desire
Fake 7
Finder Series 1
Fruits Basket 8
Get Backers 8
Gravitation 11
Kimera 1 2
Legal Drug 1 2
Only the Ringer Finger Knows
Passion 1 2 (Thanks, Mirchan)
Petshop of Horrors 10
RG Veda 1
Saiyuki 7
Skyscrapers Of Oz
Under the Glass Moon 1 2
Vampire Game 1

DVD:
Get Backers 5
Kyo Kara Maoh!
Saiyuki Reload 2
Star Ocean EX 1 + Artbox*
Wolf's Rain 2*

Now just have to hope I can keep enough to get Musashi later on. (Which will probably be a damn site better than DMC3.)

---

(5:31 pm PT) - I feel less poor
[link] - (exanimate)

Well, as I halfway thought, I didn't get to go. However, I got a nice little comp job that's netting me an extra $60, which should help me in catching up to all the manga I want. Plus, since I decided not to really answer any support questions, and I still got my hair done, I'm feeling marginally better. Far as the family, I'll just snarl real loud so they get the message tonight to leave me be.

Not a bad day, really. The premiere, eh, it wasn't showing anything I would have been interested in, anyway. I was going for the thrill of going. It wasn't a convention, so for $60, I'll miss it.

---

(1:08 am PT) - Shoot me
[link] - (exanimate)

It's 1:07 am at the time of writing, and I can't sleep. Why? The "neighbors" above me are going at it like a WF steelcage match.

Someone just freakin shoot me and be done with it.

---

(1:19 pm PT) - Zoned
[link] - (exanimate)

You know those times. When you have a lot to do, either projects, work, or even leisurely things you've been meaning to get to, yet for some reason, you just don't. You swear your brain's been eaten by zombies or something, because that's how lacklustre you feel.

Yup, it's one of those times.

Kalli, I'll make the Ynet comm later today, since Hotmail and Yahoo keep fighting like a couple of hookers over a street corner.

Anyone else a Yuri fan? I need help finishing up th esite. Mainly, I need categories and character list.

Still seeking help for this project as well.

Since I'm zoning, I think I'll just catch a nap and see if that helps, then maybe go back to CoM, which got slightly abandoned in favour of watching Pretear.

---

(7:22 pm PT) - Dark days ahead?
[link] - (exanimate)

I don't know how many of you get/read the ANN feed at LJ, but if you don't, you missed the latest on the stormfront. Seems a law firm on behalf of Media Works sent a "request" to certain sites like AnimeSuki to stop offering links/downloads of their works. (read full article)

I understand perfectly that they are well within their legal rights to do this, but if they think this is going to help their sales, boy, are they mistaken. And if they believe fansubs or those who have them stops people from buying the licensed goods, then I need to junk my GB, Gravi, YnM, WR, and WK dvds now, huh? Not to say that everyone is going to do that, but more often than not, people will buy the DVDs when it's licensed. (Though admittedly it might take a little while just because one has seen them, but they still get bought.)

If these companies were worried about sales, maybe they could ::gasp:: either lower the friggin prices, or stick more eps on a disc. (Because thinking about what Viz did with the Inuyasha series still leaves me pissed and refusing to buy them.) I don't know about everyone else, but I could do without some of those "extras" they like sticking on the discs to take up space from putting on another ep or two.

I know one group is taking an "indifferent" approach/response to this. The biggest concern I see now is whether other companies are going to follow suit. If that does happen, I think sales are going to suffer for DVDs more than what they may be doing now with fansubs. For the most part, I can say nearly every DVD I have now I bought because I saw it first, usually because of a fansub.

I see the problem when something is licensed, (though again, looking at Viz, I also see the temptation), but to restrict material that technically can't even be received in a given country until it's licensed is extreme. (And there's no guarantee things do get licensed. Take Ayatsuri Sakon, for example.)

Well all I can do at this point is wait, though I see a massive revolt if this starts a trend.

---

(10:21 am PT) - I don't do meme's often, so no complaining
[link] - (exanimate)

Yes, I'm falling into one of those popular memes. But I like the premise. ::shrugs:: I know at least one person who I think I'll be able to do something for, which makes me feel good. (So long as my money will accomodate me.)

Anyway....
holiday wishlist meme

---

(10:51 am PT) - Pet Peeve / NaNo LJ comm
[link] - (exanimate)

I was going through my userinfo at LJ to see if the flist, comms, or rss feeds needed any cleaning. Which leads to the following rant.

When a single user bumps me off their flist, I really don't mind, let alone care. Tastes change, and it's an individual journal anyway, so I respect that.

However, I do dislike getting knocked off a group simply because the owner or a mod decides at a later date that no, they don't want everyone in the group, just a select few.

(Which is enterly different from deleting a whole group, but that's another story.)

It would be better to make it a closed group from jumpstreet, than have me thinking it's okay, everyone's welcomed. Then turn around because of either a couple of jackasses or just an all around bad day and say, "No, only those I know really well."

I'm not saying what groups have done this, as it's happened more than a couple, and I'm on quite a few comms. But the fact is, its annoying. At the very least, a better reason than "because I want to" should be listed. If it's a particular jackass, let loose the hounds, because they will be fried. If it's a case of no longer wanting the burden of responsibility, I can understand. But something should be said, if for nothing but common courtesy.

::kills overuse of italic tag::

(Now I don't include MLs in this, because to me, MLs operate on a completely different set of principles.)

I know someone's going to say something along the lines of "my group, my choice." Very true, however, I would like to suggest that making the decision about an open or closed group should be done before others invest themselves or membership into it, only to be told that their membership is no longer wanted.

I'd rather not have the choice of joining at all, than to join only to be told I'm not really wanted there. Saves on wasted time. Groups that allow open membership are giving me the choice of what to do with said time. If I decide I no longer wish to be there, that doesn't affect anyone else who wishes to remain. Changing an open group to closed may knock out people who wanted to stay, but don't necessarily know the owner or mod very well. They're there for content, period.

Now, moving right along, I will open a NaNoWriMo LJ comm in the coming days. What's so special about it, considering there's a million and one out? Absolutely nothing. But as this is the first year where quite a few people I know will also join, I would like an easy way for everyone to keep up with everyone else. So to that end, the group will be closed, and the only way in is to know someone already in it. I put it that way because I know there's friends of my friends who would probably want to keep up as well, so I'm hoping that's a viable solution without letting everyone come in. It's tough trying to make a stranger feel welcome, and NaNo is high stress enough. So a closed comm of just friends, be they friends to me or each other. No, I'm not trying to make a clique or sound elitist. (If I were, I'd say only people I know.) It's just another group that well help each other out, or help each other procrastinate effectively, and can keep up with one another's writing in a more local/centralised manner. There shouldn't be any trolls or idiots coming aboard to seek attention. (I say should, because it seems the little buggers have a way of making it into anywhere.) And this negates the chore of welcoming newbies and trying to make sure they fit in okay. (Because sometimes it is just that, a chore.)

So anyone who wants to join, drop a note here, (at Locuran, to make sure I don't miss it). I'll let you know when it's up and running. Also, any ideas for it (because I suck for making up rules and things) can also be dropped here.

Now, I'm going to recover, because even though I'm now up to walking 12 minutes, it's not easy and I'm teh tired. Oh yes, Domino, Thursday would be fine, so I'll see you then.

---

(10:23 am PT) - Aaaah, speed.
[link] - (exanimate)

Well it appears that I have dsl back for the moment. I have to say it that way, because I'm not sure if they're through checking the line as they put it to me. Well I know I'll have it permanently Monday, and I'll just enjoy it whilst I have it now.

Before I go on, I just want to send my thoughts, karma, sympathy, and love to those who've suffered a loss recently. It's times like this I wish I were more eloquent, and could offer words of comfort that come so easily from others. Please note that my silence of late does not mean I don't care. It's me being silly and letting little things in my own life stop me from offering what I could, even if I'm still not yet sure what that is. But know I do care, and if I can help in any way, please let me know and I will certainly try.

Life at the moment is filled with boxes that need to be unpacked or stored. And I feel like doing neither. So, we procrastinate and work on Get Backers fic a little more.

To interested parties, if you want to chat with me tonight, give me a holler here.

---

(2:49 am PT) - Gmail invites - part 2
[link] - (exanimate)

Okay, I know two asked for one but I need an email to send the invite to. And since people tend to have more than one, or are not comfortable just posting their addies thanks to spam and stalkers, then you can send me a message on my contact form, including your email there. Once I know where to send the invite to, I'll do so asap.

---

(7:46 pm PT) - Sluggy Sunday
[link] - (exanimate)

I missed my morning routine today and felt like a complete slug for the entire day. Remind me not to do that again.

Kit has broken my heart. She only gave me Get Backers up to ep 16, and that's just where the action reaches a peak. ::cries:: I must know what happens. I must! And I know it's licensed. I have every intention of buying each and every DVD that comes out, but I still want to know now. (Besides, even when I buy DVDs, I like having fansub files as backup.) Kit, help meeeeee...

Mirchan This is beginning to sound serious. Please do be sure to see a doctor. I'm used to you getting sick or injured a lot, but usually your powers of recuperation would surprise me, so I admit to being worried about you, luv.

Still playing Achaea, but I needed a new MUDclient. Was scouring the net to find one that would do what I needed, only to realise I already had one that would do the job. I hate when that happens.

And randomly, (like the rest of this post hasn't been just that), I need a Juvenile Orion fix like yesterday. Is #4 out yet. Definitely going to start buying the cards for that.

Going to redrown myself in Get Backers now, kthxbuhbye.

---

(8:43 pm PT) - Ye-ah
[link] - (exanimate)

It wasn't until Ko-chan's post that it finally hit me, tomorrow's my bday. You know, I feel rather detached from it, moreso than perhaps any other I've suffered experienced.

Mina, I finally got a chance to read the fic. Thank you, you're a doll. T'was nice and sweet, gives you that 'aww' kinda feeling. But you should've told me h/c wasn't your cuppa. I would've asked for plain ol', self-gratifying mansex then. :mrgreen:

I have an idea, just have to make time to get it down into written format. Yes, I've finally caught a muse. Now pray I can hangon to it to do those LONG overdue snippets.

Tomorrow, I want peace, quiet, and a good RP. Oh yes, and to graduate novicehood from Achaea.

---

(3:05 pm PT) - Political agendas strike again
[link] - (exanimate)

I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. If one really supports Bush, then nothing I say (even though it's true) is going to change that. But there are people who don't know, and this first link is for them.

New guidelines will eradicate succefuls educational programs for HIV/AIDS prevention in favor of promoting abstinence, an education program that's about as effective as throwing fleas at at killer whale...

Now, for Kerry supporters, this might make you feel a little better.

Kerry brakes for handmade signs

I'm not going to bother commenting on the first link. There's nothing to say. Either you realise the dangers this will create, or you're in complete agreement with Bush, and no amount of scientific data is going to change your mind.

But if that's the case, why are you reading this journal? Methinks it's best you find a Neo(Nazi)Conservative site and have fun. And no, I'm not retracting that statement. There's conservative, then there's oppressive.

---

(9:48 am PT) - Blue moon...
[link] - (exanimate)

There's a blue moon tonight. I feel like doing something special, but have no idea what. Suggestions?

---

(8:48 am PT) - Changing lifestyles
[link] - (exanimate)

The problem with people who are overweight and suddenly want to exercise to get fit is they tend to try and jump in doing enough of it to lose the weight. But if you're not used to doing that much, you'll get tired, and then discouraged. Better to exercise a little and build up stamina first. Yes, everything is slow and people are impatient, but unless you're getting lipo, there's no fast (or safe) way to go about it. Beginning last Sunday I've started walking on my treadmill at a slight incline for five minutes a day. It was what I knew I could handle without getting too tired and wanting to stop. This coming Sunday I planned to up this to six minutes, but today I decided to start at five and a half first. It was a small step, but I'm happy to note that the extra time didn't have any affect. I didn't feel any more tired or breathless (which I admit I did when I first started). So I'm still going to up the time to six on Sunday. I believe doing this everyday will help my endurance. Once I'm able to walk for an extended period of time, then I'll worry about walking enough to actually lose the weight.

---

(9:14 am PT) - Solely for Kit
[link] - (exanimate)

If you're worried about taking the business and failing, then get a business intern or student, anyone who's learning or learned in the field to help you. They can get more experience while working through college themselves, and you can get a solid income that will support you through your writing.

That's just my two cents. I wish I had such an opportunity, even if I couldn't stand doors and/or windows. I think with that, I'd learn to love them.

Also, don't forget about lulu.com when you want to just test the publishing waters on your own. It's small fries, but I think it's a good stepping stone.

---

(1:55 am PT) - Not going to beg
[link] - (exanimate)

I've never liked begging for anything. Fic comments is one. I don't solicit them much beyond posting a fic up.

But I can't deny that, when there's people I know personally who I think would comment but don't, it does bother me.

But I know now who I can write for, and who will talk to me about my work when I ask, or even when I don't. (And then there's perfect strangers who write asking me about a fic I haven't worked on in years, hoping I'll still continue. This will always surprise me, in truth.)

I understand. But things still bother me. So I'm not going to ask, save the one person I know will listen now.

---

(7:19 am PT) - (political, social, war) opinion != fact; opinion = mine
[link] - (exanimate)

As a courtesy, this is put behind an cut tag on the LJ feed. If you're actually here, I figure you must want to read it.

For anyone who doesn't get that equation, != is used in a lot of programming languages and simply means "not equal to." So let's clear that one up right now.

Second, I'm not leaving this open for comments, not because I don't want to hear my friends, but I don't feel like dealing with the idiots who seem to love coming on such posts. And if they wish to comment in another post about this, well, we get to show the world just how much of an idiot they are, don't we?

Now then, apparently the video of Nick Berg's death/murder has been released, or just somehow made available to the public. I don't know how, and I really would like to smack whoever did it, because that speaks of no regard to his family. Anyway, it's floating around somewhere like a bad virus waiting to infect anyone who sees with righteous, indignant, justifiable rage.

I'm a low-level conspiracy theorist. I trust nobody. And the timing for this leaves a hell of a lot to be suspect.

The reason I'm saying this is because I'm seeing a pattern in people's response, both on my friends list at LJ, and in RL. Basically, even people who once disliked Bush are beginning to say he has a point about this war.

How convenient for him.

I'm not, nor have been for quite some time, shocked at what happens in government. This isn't an exception. Am I outright saying that's what happened? No. But again, it's rather convenient.

That's all I'm saying.

Far as I see the picture, there's nothing political about Berg's death. There's nothing religious about it, either. What his death represents is the tragic state of the human heart, though if I'm honest, I lost faith in that a long time ago.

And the very notion that his death is being used as a tool would sicken me if I could get out of this cynical mindframe I was locked into years before.

But then I wonder, and am almost tempted to ask, what's so different between Berg, or someone who suffered a similar fate on US soil? There are horrific murders happening all the world over, all the time. And while people try not to think about it, it could be happening a lot closer than anyone is comfortable with acknowledging.

Berg's death has nothing to do with Bush. But, I do believe Bush had everything to do with his death. No, not directly. I don't believe that for the time being, and really hope there's never any evidence presented to me to make me think otherwise. But indirectly, yes. This war should not have been. There were too many ways to have answered 9/11 without a violent reaction, yet would have obtained similar results less all the deaths. And there's been too much going on with just who the government is supposedly after that makes me believe it's just about 9/11. Of course the whole story isn't being told, but people seem to forget that.

The government is not giving a clear and precise picture on this. Period. That's what a lot of people need to understand.

So, am I somehow trying to make light of Berg's death with this? No. But I'm someone who lives very, very close to death in my own way. So I can't in good, or even bad conscience, spotlight one death over another. That may seem to some people that yes, I am taking Berg's death lightly. Think what you will, but I'm not. I'm just taking his death equally to all the other people who's lives were cut short at the hands of another, for whatever reason.

I would say there's no good reason to kill somebody, but actually, there's at least one. If a person is suffering physically and wants to die, or are dying anyway and doesn't want to drag it out, I say honour their request. Though that's about the only reason I see.

Death is all around us, yet people want to answer it with more death. I can't find the logic in that.

Does this make me a bleeding heart liberal? Pheh, yeah, right. There are some things I find I'm ultra conservative on. I just rarely talk about those issues online as much as I do RL. Not that there's many, I'll admit. But seeing people's viewpoint change without question tends to make me pause and wonder why. Then I have to question.

What truly pains me about this, is the idea that if Berg has any family, they might see that video. I can only hope whoever decided to release it or put it out has trouble sleeping at night, though somehow I doubt if their conscience bothers them enough.

---

(1:56 am PT) - The quarterly rant on fanfiction reviewing
[link] - (exanimate)

Seeing people trying to be sarcastic at the expense of others, i.e. so called review sites that look for "bad fiction," only to revert to mere swear words when things get too hairy for them, is amusing. Where's the sarcasm? Where's the wit? Surely a person can come up with something better than "shut the fuck up" when they're getting bombarded by what they themselves initiated.

I'm not going to name the names here. There's no point, really. I've made my stance known. I just find it funny in a very sad and pathetic sort of way.

It's fanfiction. What reason one person may have for writing is not going to be the same for another. Maybe someone wants to see a character OOC. Maybe they want to get a blatant fantasy out of their head. If they don't whine for reviews, I could perhaps see a desire for wanting to knock the writer down a peg, but that doesn't translate into an obligation. (And whether or not certain parties who feel it thir "duty" realise, not every author wants reviews. They just want to write. If it's liked, great. But if it's not liked and an opinion wasn't asked for, leave it be. Nobody's forced to read, and it's easy to tell a bad fic early in the beginning more often than not.)

For something that nobody is getting paid for, fanfiction is being taken way too seriously. On my recent surfing, someone commented in a place that-won't-be-mentioned how writers used to be much thicker skinned than they are today. Hmm, maybe, but then again, the reviews were given in a much nicer tone, and not to make writers look and feel like idiots.

But I don't expect this to improve any time soon. In fact, I see things getting a lot worse over time. Granted, there are fics that, in my opinion, were better off if I'd never read them. Should they have not been written? No, I can't say that they shouldn't have been. Who am I to decide what should and shouldn't be written in the name of fanfiction.

Nobody's making me read it, after all.

---

(4:43 pm PT) - Of course, I was foolish enough to think I'd enjoy today...
[link] - (exanimate)

So,

I am here alone. Mom took off to make a quick hundred off my sister while dropping off a dinner to a family friend. My younger sister was here, but stayed downstairs to talk to the neighbors. Me? Not a second thought. Brother went with mother. Top it off with neighbors throwing some kind of party, which means lots of loud music, loud-stupid-rap-I-hate music. (No, not all rap is stupid, but there's "stupid rap," if I make any sense.)

And I experienced a disturing moment with an item of cold metal, but I really don't want to get into it, because I know one of you will have me locked up for my own good.

Trust me, I'm not going to do anything stupid. But I can't deny the moment in and of itself was disturbing.

Oh well. I'm alone. I think I'm getting used to it.

Don't worry, world, I won't leave a mark when I do take off.

---

(12:15 pm PT) - Balance is achieved through perseverence
[link] - (exanimate)

Mirchan - Happy Birthday! Keech, I really should've paid more attention. Well, outside of your list, is there anything I can do/get for you? Oh yes, still need your smailmail addy. I'll try to catch you tomorrow (tonight is looking chaotic, and don't know if you already plan to enjoy yourself).

Mina - Problem. Apparently my middle man didn't put sufficient postage on the package, which has come back to me. Mailing again tomorrow. Sorry. /=_=;

More to say, just kind of frazzled right now...

---

(6:55 pm PT) - Misrepresentation
[link] - (exanimate)

I'm sorry, that must not have come across the way I intended. I don't necessarily need a break from life... okay, maybe I do, but that's beside the point. I meant I had to step away from that php script, which I have done for the majority of the day. I was simply explaining why I felt the need to proceed with such things with such abnormal obsession.

Hmm, I'm sitting on a SqualLeon pov KH snippet. I wonder if I should do anything with it.

---

(9:08 am PT) - Oops
[link] - (exanimate)

I totally forgot this was a holiday weekend. Actually, I forgot today was Easter. I remembered Good Friday thanks to Fox's journal...

But I won't get to deep off into things just yet. See, one, I can't. Two, I'm cooking. So, yeah.

Kit - does this mean you're going this year to Ycon?

---

(5:05 pm PT) - ::flat::
[link] - (exanimate)

Sorry, but anyone I mean to give a gift to will, unfortunately, get it after Xmas. As it stands, I'm not doing anything for Xmas outside of that.

No biggie at this point. Nothing to be done about it anyway.

So hope you don't mind. It'll come, just not on time.

Kit - Sunday's no good for me. What about after Xmas, say, the 26th? Either that or the 27th, perhaps, that is, if I'm going to see Jasmine before she goes back home.

Mchan - Got your package today. Thank you. Gave me a much needed smile. Oddly enough, he's currently hanging on my wall just under a Crow poster (original comic novel, not one of the movies).

If I've forgotten some one/thing, please excuse me. I'm not all there right now, and not sure if/when those missing pieces will come back.

Home - Archives - About
By Moods - Old Journal
TOS: "...no one is forcing you."

RSS Feed (full items)
Comment Feed (recent 10 comments)

Various Links
- Kit
- Miracle
- Yaoiville.net
- IJ People
- LJ People
- RightStuf
More...

Daily Genism: Nobody is truly happy in this day and age. They're just good at faking it.

CURRENT MOON

moon phase