---

(9:35 am PT) - Today
[link] - (General)

There is no great significance to today, other than the fact that it is 04-04-04. </spam>

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(11:42 am PT) - Strange but cool
[link] - (General)

After peaking her curiosity, the mother-unit has declared that, when I get Johnny The Homicidal Maniac : Director's Cut, she wants to read it too.

I ♥ the mother-unit, even when she annoys me from time to time.

---

(6:42 pm PT) - Huh boy
[link] - (General)

This just into my inbox from RightStuf. Apparently Gluhen has been licensed by Media Blaster. Current/Tentative title: Knight Hunters Eternity

We may all quake in fear now.

---

(11:33 am PT) - Random Tip
[link] - (General)

Household tip for the comp geeks.

If you've ever had to replace a keyboard due to fading letter syndrome, or you're currently in the early stages thereof, a coat of clear nailpolish does wonders to prevent this.

---

(8:28 am PT) - A plea to all minors trying to get onto adult oriented fan groups
[link] - (General)

Okay, minors, youths, soon-to-be young adults, I have a request for you. I completely understand being a squealing yaoi/slash/shounen-ai fangirl/boy. I know you just want to go out and soak up as much of whatever character/couple you can find. Really, I can respect and sympathise with your plight. However, unless you're careful, or unless you have understanding parents who you know won't mind this pasttime of yours, please consider the following.

When you go to places, (sites, mailing lists, forums) that you know are labeled with 18+ or "age of consent," you're putting the entire group at risk just by being there. Again, unless you have parents who don't mind, know that they have the right to make sure you don't have access to these places. Unfortunately, the usual status quo to ensuring this is to try and close it down. So not only do you get cut off, but everyone else who enjoyed it don't have access, either. Everyone loses, and you create a tense situation in regards to how mature adults think youths really are.

Like I said, I do understand your problem. You want to enjoy this along with other, like-minded people. Don't you think if we adults could, we'd let you on as well? But in the US, current laws and social conditionings make it impossible.

There are alternatives, however. Just as adults create 18+ places, why not start create age specific groups/sites of your own? Hey, you tell us to keep out, we will, (or we should). I don't see where it's illegal for you to swap fics/art/etc among your peers. And when you do reach 18, those places you were sneaking into? Either they're still around, or something similar is waiting. The minor thing is temporary; being an adult lasts until, well, death.

But sneaking onto places and then having your parents complain takes it away from everyone, and there won't be anything for you when you do become an adult.

Please, think about this, not just for our sake, but your own. I know it seems like you'll never be legal. Hah, you don't know how soon the time is going to come where you wish you could be a minor again. All that lack of responsibility will become a distant memory.

---

(7:03 pm PT) - So far, nothing
[link] - (General)

Update, connection still wonky. A tech is coming out to check the line tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be back to full then. ::grumbles::

---

(7:09 pm PT) - Crap
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Connection is wacky, and I don't know when it will be fixed. So I don't know if I'll be around tonight. You've been warned.

---

(8:31 pm PT) - Oh yeah...
[link] - (General)

Anyone know of a good DVD recorder/player progrie out there in the free to cheap range?

---

(7:03 pm PT) - Love is a song that seduces your ears and makes out with your soul
[link] - (General)

Next song I must get: The closing theme for Cowboy Bebop: the movie. Next soundtrack for the same. Then I'll get the movie itself.

You may laugh, but often times it's been the music that's attract me to a series on more than one occasion.

BTW, the rumoue mill says Cartoon Network will be airing Wolf's Rain. Anybody else wish to confirm this?

Considering how far I got into the fansubs, I'll wind up waiting for the last 1-2 DVDs to come out and look at those to see what the heck I missed.

---

(10:04 am PT) - Marriage poll - passing the word
[link] - (General)

For those who only have the Locuran feed, I'll point you over to my LJ post. Spread the word, I'd maim to see the vote turned in favour for gay marriages.

Marriage poll - passing the word

---

(9:09 pm PT) - To those who like apple scents...
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Apple-scented soap is heavenly.

That is all.

---

(10:34 pm PT) - For the record
[link] - (General)

I have Mina's, Moonchan's, and Domino's addies. If I don't hear from you by Wednesday, I'll consider it a lost cause, or you'll get a late gift. ::goes off to play with the crafts::

---

(9:36 am PT) - Ack, the hard question
[link] - (General)

Mina asked me that hard question. You know the one, where you suddenly have to dig through your brain and see how much anime/manga/videogames you remember. Yeah, that one. So I'll post it here, and probably edit as new ones imprint on my feeble mind.

I'm only listing things I feel comfortable writing about. I wouldn't write about YYH, simply because I haven't seen all the eps, or even enough of them that wouldn't result in serious OOCness. (Not that anything I do write won't go OOC, but I'll have a better handle, anyway.)

Please understand, this isn't everything I've ever seen in anime/games, just everything I feel okay writing about. (And I admit to some trepidation with a few of these.) As this was pulled off the top of my head, anything I remember later will also be added.

Legend: (what format I'm most familiar with)
(an) - anime (either tv series or OVA)
(ma) - manga
(vg) - Video game

Ai no Kusabi (an)
Angel Santuary (an)
Battle Arena Toshinden (an/vg)
The Bouncer (vg)
Breath of Fire 3 (vg)
Cardcaptor Sakura (an)
Castlevania (vg)
- Original/Super
- III
- Symphony of the Night
- Harmony of Dissonance
- Aria of Sorrow
- Lament of Innocence
Cowboy Bebop (an)
Devil May Cry 1 & 2 (vg)
FAKE (an, though some ma)
Fatal Fury (an)
Final Fantasy 7, 8, 10 (vg)
Gatchaman (an, '94 remake preferred)
Gravitation (an)
Here is Greenwood (an)
Key the Metal Idol (an)
Kingdom Hearts (vg)
Kizuna (an)
Legend of Zelda series (vg, Ocarina of Time preferred, can do others)
Nightwalker (an)
Outlaw Star (an)
Petshop of Horrors (an, though some ma)
Please Save My Earth (an)
Ranma 1/2 (an)
Record of Lodoss War - original/first series (an)
Reign the Conqueror (an, but I refuse to be historically correct with that one)
Saiyuki (an, no RELOAD yet, though)
Shadow of Destiny (vg)
Slayers (an)
Sorcerer Hunters (an)
Soul Calibur II (vg)
Soul Reaver 1 & 2 (vg)
VIRUS (Virus Buster Serge) (an)
Weiß Kreuz season 1 & 2 (an)
Wolf's Rain (an, yes, I do feel comfortable enough to try writing for it)
Yami no Matsuei (an)
Zetsuai Bronze (an)

---

(6:12 pm PT) - Ye-ah
[link] - (General)

When your email siggy is 4kb in size, it's seriously time to consider cropping.

---

(3:47 pm PT) - Huh? => A crapload of quizzes (8-11-03)
[link] - (General)

Dear rosalie,

Exactly what do you mean when you say you can't find the quizzes? I just checked each link, and the only quiz that isn't there is the "How much do you know about Saiyuki" quiz (as marked with the Sanzo image). Everything else is linked, and all links are working normally.

Now if you mean to say the text is atrociously small and hard to see, I'll agree with you there. I realised after I posted it would be difficult, and unfortunately the size can't be adjusted. For that, I do apologise, but I won't be able to fix it any time soon, nor can I say I ever will, in truth. But the links are there all the same.

::goes back to trying to get word count out:: I think my brain is messing with me after being so productive yesterday.

---

(2:46 pm PT) - "Brain, you're f*cked. Just thought I should let you know" - ID
[link] - (General)

Sitting here, a cup of Starbucks coffee with expresso shot sitting somewhere in my bloodstream, (wishing Starbucks would come up with pay-per-IV feed already). Took shower. Have real orange essential oil, along with grapefruit and rose geranium. It's 2:43, I still feel tired, and still nothing for the word count. (123 doesn't mean squat.)

I knew beforehand I didn't want to add the rose geranium because it's potent and flowery. But the orange was so subtle when I burned it, I thought a drop of the rg wouldn't hurt.

...

I'm now going to write something, because my brain pinged, but I cannot guarantee at this point if any of it will be coherant.

That is all.

---

(7:59 pm PT) - Lovelies
[link] - (General)

Oh yes, if anyone knows where I can get the OP for VIRUS (Virus Buster Serge), I will grant you my undying love, and whatever is in my power to do.

---

(12:09 am PT) - ugh
[link] - (General)

Cold and cycle, so report will have to wait. Oh yes, if anyone knows where I can get the doujinshi, "Datenshi no Chouai 4" or the complete "Datenshi no Chouai" (a compilation of 1-4) by Shushushu Sakurai of the circle, No Reset Club, you will have a bargaining chip to owning my soul. Thank you.

---

(1:14 am PT) - Grah
[link] - (General)

For some reason, this web TV seems to love doubling my flippin' posts! and I can't delete, because I don't want to lose the comments.

My apologies to anyone on this feed, I didn't mean to spam your friends page. And if this one doubles, it's not my fault.

Anyway, sorry if i made anyone worry. This is why I never allow myself a moment where I am completely cut off or have nothing to do, because things like that happen. I suppose I'm luckier than most, in that i'm at least able to realise just what is happening even as I'm going through it.

All well and good, but I for one would like to know how to freakin' FIX it.

So now I'm back in my normal zone. Check that, I'm in the tired zone. Stuffing boxes, handling preorders, basically very busy and realising I miss that kind of rush in my life. What do they call it? Oh yes, productivity, that thing that nobody has in my neighborhood.

I'm going to crash. I will respond to the comments, though probably on my own computer instead of this god-awful thing.

And why is it, every single con year, I fall in love with Bronze all over again?

Oh yes, this is to Domino, what did you want me to look for again?

so far...
Watched Saiyuki, thought of Miracle.
Someone pimped a YYH video they did, thought of Mina.
Tentacle sex in the anthologies... oh, insert any name you want, I thought of all of you.
Saw Virus buster Serge 1. I want the rest.
Saw Ai no Kusaba (sp?) 1, fearing depression in 2.

Now, to crash.

---

(9:29 pm PT) - Going, going, almost gone
[link] - (General)

I'm sure everyone knows by now, but consider this my official Locuran announcement.

I'm leaving.

I'm taking off the yaoicon tomorrow, I'll be back Monday. To anyone going to the con, I've got 20 yaoiville.net shirts. They're free, and I really don't want any left overs to take home with me.

With the exception of Friday, I'll be wearing one of four different designs for the whole shebang, so hopefully I'll be easy to spot.

I think that's it. And if it's not, well, I'll deal with it when I come back. Oh yess, Amberlee, glad you enjoyed yourself with that one. A part of me is still hoping it's still someone just acting that bad.

See everyone Monday.

Edit: Oh yes, Aglandiir, will you update me on the mystery when I get back?

---

(4:06 pm PT) - Ye-ah, right... sure.
[link] - (General)

Normally I save all my quizzes up, but this one needed special attention becauses it's so off.



Okay, two definite things wrong with this quiz. 1: the name. I don't think "jerk" was the appropriate word. 2: the results. This thing obviously got confused, and gave me M-chan's results, and gave her mine. Sheesh.

---

(8:34 pm PT) - Found at internetbumperstickers.com
[link] - (General)

Thought for the day:

---

(7:25 am PT) - word raping
[link] - (General)

And now, random, nonsensical smattering of words. If you're looking for this to make sense, you will be sorely disappointed.

It's morning, turning, with the big ball yearning to take an upward fall to blind and hide while I burrow and tunnel under haven. Can't escape war predates my ancestors but we always lose, shmooze, fine I'm up will not rush there's too much not enough I don't care where chances are it's still wrong but I'm up, I'm up.
Mind compose redispose even done hand me my gun under the fingers it feels like keys, please, I'm armed stay back or I'll harm forget the blood will take more you love unless you hold leave me alone don't care for bold so early just mercy in a cup and cream and sugar it's not a bother until I'm bouncing around up and down you wish you'd given me that cream blowed off steam I'm awake too late, can't retreat I'll take the heat and where's my gun with verbal bullets to make them run or call to catch the ball and take off okay go away there's work without pay regardless I say it's love and craft and creation of hand that's forgotten watch them move over triggers these fingers making rivers unlike the beauty of nature it's all digital but still I breathe into it as I look forward to the day I hate greeting...

...what was I going to say?

---

(1:39 pm PT) - I exist, even if I wish I didn't
[link] - (General)

We pulled it off, 24 hours of staying up, 24 hours of RPing. It was touch and go, but I suppose that's to be expected. Amber and Kaie had peoeple worried about their health. Kit lectured about sugar at one point... it starts getting hazy after that.

I think the main thing is we did it. Upwards of a hundred blogs did not.

And while we have pledges at the official blogathon site listed at 302, we actually have more from people who didn't/couldn't sign up to the site. So we definitely beat our last record.

I did learn that sleep deprivation without a project makes me very depressed. I'm just glad no one in the chat could actually see me at one point.

Oh yes, Kaie pimped up to Neil Gaiman, who posted it in his blog. It was amusing to see the rest of the BTers in the chat lose their minds for a few minutes over that.

And Kit wrote beautiful Trigun snippets, which in turn inspired some poems from me, one I actually like. They're all over at BT Lite, a side blog we had for no RP posting.

There's probably more, lots to recap, but I should be asleep. Trouble is, between one Red Bull (that did absolutely nothing) and four Vanilla Cokes (more effective than the RB), it's hard to actually sleep. But I suppose I should still lay down and wait for the brain to get off the drugs.

Edit:
Before I forget, it's still not to late to make a pledge on behalf of BT. Pledging doesn't end until sometime Monday.

Again, thanks to those who sponsored, those who pimped, and those who blogged/chatted.

---

(5:39 pm PT) - oops.
[link] - (General)

Sorry, Kit, I didn't get the email about your comment (server hiccuped on it), so I didn't get a chance to let you know if I could make it or not. Anyway, best time at this point would be the weekend around the 1st (1-3), or later.

BTW, I've convinced family to take me to a sushi bar on the 18th. Would you and Korax care to join us?

---

(1:11 pm PT) - Sign on the door reads...
[link] - (General)

---

(1:16 pm PT) - Not sure...
[link] - (General)

Bear with me, is all I can say. And bear with the lack of punctuation/capitalization. I swear I won't do it again.

(<random typing>because a lot of us are having an off day)

---

(8:36 pm PT) - Black Hole Hell
[link] - (General)

Usually I'm not into quiz trends, but anything regarding damning my soul is always worth a shot.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

I think I'm underachieving, though.

---

(12:11 pm PT) - Genism
[link] - (General)

Where common sense is lacking, subtlty will require the use of a sledge hammer.

---

(7:49 pm PT) - morons should be drug out into the street and stampeded on
[link] - (General)

Why... why oh why... why why why are there so many morons around? It's okay if people don't agree, but for hell's sake is it really necessary to try and belittle a person just because they have a difference of opinion, in a public place?

I'm dealing with a moron at the Nucleus foroms. And if said moron happens to come across this, well so be it. I didn't call you a moron at the forums itself, and if you'll notice, I'm not using your name here. So if you have something to say, you're going to wind up giving yourself away.

The proverb of the fool comes to mind.

Mina, this is going to sound really stupid on my part, but I'm afraid I have to ask for those link names you gave me again. I had planned on saving the chat so I'd have a reference on what you wanted as I worked, but I exited AIM at the icon instead of merely closing the window, so I lost the IM window before I remembered I wanted to save it. /=_=\ (Probably still upset about the abovementioned moron, no doubt.)

I'm going to kill Ganondorf and hope that gets rid of some agression, though in truth, after the first time, he's too easy to kill. Maybe Smash Bros. Melee...

---

(9:11 am PT) - arrooo
[link] - (General)

Kit - if you see this, call me before you leave.

edit - Nevermind. /^^;

---

(8:26 pm PT) - Eh...
[link] - (General)

Random thought: you know an anime series is getting too popular when that section on ff.net is slowly deluged with a bunch of freakin' Mary Sues.

And now, because I saw it on Mchan's blog...

Which Evil Anime Badass are You?

---

(9:19 am PT) - Burnin' in the pit...
[link] - (General)

Just to update and reiterate, I'm still in hell.

Most Saturdays are spent waking up, catching YGO if I'm in the mood, and just relacing the the all-too-rare peace and quiet until the natives outside start making noise.

This Saturday, I'm fucking surrounded. Imagine if you will being in a room. You're surrounded by the for walls, floor, and ceiling. Each of these sides connect to another room, and in those rooms people are constantly talking, no break... chatter chatter chatter... Add a TV in the mix.

Congratulations, you just imagined what I'm going through. Unlike me, you can stop imagining it whenever you want. Lucky bastard.

In unrelated news, I hope everyone's keeping up with the Shishi-chan moods. Not much longer to go now.

I think for safety's sake, I'll go unload the .38 now. It's in my possession... and I'm feeling a might bit... anxious. (Note: I'm not into self injury.)

---

(6:18 pm PT) - Ouch...
[link] - (General)

Oh... joy.

Before I explain that, quick thanks for the support. Goddesses know I'm going to need all I can get. Not even a good day into this latest hellscene and tempers are already flaring between two parties. I'm ready to kill them both and let the Goddess deal. I can only hope they're gone before Xmas, or else I'm pretty sure Ms. Daniels will have me committed. (She already warned me in a very subtle way to watch what I write, as it will go into my case file.)

Now, add to what's already been mentioned the oh-so-nicely illtimed arrival of, that's right, my friendly cycle. Early. Very early.

I know I should be updating the FFX site and answering emails, but now I'm surrounded by people, two I want to toss in a meat grinder, and I feel like someone's squeezing the hell out of my uterus.

As I told Mchan, forget his law, I'm Murphey's whore.

---

(7:43 pm PT) - Blargh
[link] - (General)

RL, RL, leave me the hell alone for a few.

Well I've bad news and weird new. Bad news, younger sis has moved back in. Worse, she didn't come alone. I'm told this is a temporary situation, but I know how long _that_ can be. ::sigh:: Someone feeling kind can shoot me now.

Weird news, this was actually yesterday, but I'm just been stressing out and haven't had a chance to talk about it. Anyway, finally got to my therapist. She's a wonderful person who doesn't sugarcoat anything. So even if I don't want to hear it, if I need to, she'll tell me. (And thank goddesses she's going to try and find these extra people a place to stay asap.)

Anyway, she told me a while ago to write her letters whenever I'm upset. Well, I can't have gotten more upset than I did on Tg. So I wrote a total of four letters within an hour's time.

...you know you have to have a very understanding therapist who tells you that, even though she knows what I meant when I wrote that, she's not going to put it in my case file because she doesn't want anyone to commit me.

Anyway to mindless babble...

Because Mchan commadeth me to take this one...



Speaking of Mchan... well, you'll have to go to her blog to read the reference, but generally speaking, a person has to be pretty damn miserable to steal someone's blournal. Stealing anything is low, stealing the equivalent of someone's journal and passing it off as your own is just too pathetic for words.

To those who remember ShiShi-chan, well I've restarted work. I'm also following the LiveJournal mood format so I can see what I have and what I still need to make. You can find the current list here

Can't say how life is going to go. The frugs are weird, and having extra people in the house does not help. (I was feeling crowded with just friggin' Marlon being in here. I have got to go.)

I'm looking forward to being able to move in with David....

---

(9:42 am PT) - Backlog - 5, Me - 0
[link] - (General)

Still catching up on backlog. Oy vey. Least I finished that Slayers fic for the wheel.

Okay, have to update FFX in the coming days. Must work on ZelGourry site, KH site. And somewhere in there, I have to sit down and log onto AIM to catch you, Domino. ::beats head against keyboard:: This would be so much easier if these little RL dramas my dear family likes to toss at me would stop.

And I don't want to think about Xmas shopping or the like yet.

---

(11:37 am PT) - Ahh
[link] - (General)

After having one of the worst Tgs, I've been given a true pleasure. Everyone is gone. Oh, blessed be the silence.

---

(11:52 am PT) - Violent images ahead
[link] - (General)

Not for the weak of heart or stomach. And definitely not a good Thanksgivings read.

Cut for violence and insanity while dealing with visitors

---

(9:53 am PT) - Just bitching...
[link] - (General)

I usually don't do dupe posts between lj and here, but some people read one, other people read the other. And I have to get this out on all sides.

Cut for bitching and moaning

---

(6:38 pm PT) - Just because...
[link] - (General)

I don't always feel like repeating what I say between my lj and here, I just link between the two. Usually I'm posting links to here from lj. Today, different. It's nothing, just streaming bit of mentality while listening to the soundscapes channel.

lj entry

---

(10:43 am PT) - Oh yeah...
[link] - (General)

Before I forget, and because Miracle hinted at doing this one.

"Which anime theme song are you" quiz inside.

---

(9:02 am PT) - Hm
[link] - (General)

Seems I let three days slip by. After NaNo crash. There's going to be a TGIO party for it sometime around the first, but I don't know if I should go. It seems those going tend to know each other, and I suck at trying to make first contact. I doubt if I go. ::shrugs:: Maybe next year.

Neurotin... ah, Neurotin. You're not lithium, thank goddess.

Still have a bunch of backup projects to catch up on, so expect the still sporadic post here. I wish I could link up posts between here and LJ, but haven't figured out how outside of LJ reading my rss feed. Frankly, I prefer here. I control how the individual item pages look, versus the standard format there.

I'm not looking forward to December. And not for the holiday thing. Can't explain it, but I have a very bad feeling about it, even though I don't think anything very important is going to happen. This leads me to believe it's going to be my own emotional demons that will leave me reeling before this year is finally through.

---

(9:26 am PT) - :;still recovering from NaNo::
[link] - (General)

Kit: Look at Notus
Domichan: Look for me sometime this weekend.

Still can't believe I finished the damn thing, and I still have some of Novemberleft to enjoy... okay, maybe not. I've a pile of back projects I have to work on. But I finished. I hardly ever finish my projects, so this means something to me.

And now, I start on my new anti-depressants.

---

(8:49 pm PT) - Medic. ::flops::
[link] - (General)

I'll gloat\cry\scream\faint later. Just cast your eyes down to the NaNo icon on the page, it will explain everything until I get back.

---

(8:07 pm PT) - o/` Writing writing writing, keep them fingers typing, writing writing writing, NaNo! o/`
[link] - (General)

Roughly 2k+ left... don't stall, brain, please.

Domino, I'll be released from Hell soon as I finish NaNoWriMo. Almost there...

Someone remind me why I did this again?

To those blogs I try to keep up with, thank you for your patience, I'll be social when the writing storm has passed.

And now, some quizzes I had lurking on my HD but never posted. I put them on the item page to avoid weighing the front page down.

Back to typing I go.

---

(12:30 pm PT) - ::grinding teeth::
[link] - (General)

I Like men, I really do. They are yang to my yin, and when properly sculpted, are magnificent works of art. Plus, they're easy as hell.

But, I hate men who think they know everything, and know more than a woman does.

This is, unfortunately, the type of man my mother is currently seeing. Apparently he doesn't seem to get that once a person creates a work of art (i.e. getting it down onto some visual/audio form of media), they automatically own the copyrights to that work. The only thing going through the library of Congress does is formally register those copyrights and makes it easier to prove that yes, you own it. But if you can prove that by some other means, then it isn't a requirement.

I've come to this knowledge by way of the site of the LoC myself. He however thinks that just because he had registered some songs via LoC, that he knows much more than I. (This from a man that didn't know you have to format a CD before you can burn to it.)

So I sit grinding my teeth because he things he knows every damn thing under the sun, but I can't tell him where to take his shit and shove it because of mother. And she doesn't get why I'm so fucking pissed off. (She knows I'm mad, and she sympathizes to a degree, but because she has seemingly infinite patience, she can't understand my lack thereof.)

I am now going to find my Danzip CD and blast the sonuvabitch so loud I can't hear my own thoughts.

---

(8:15 pm PT) - Random NaNo Nugget
[link] - (General)

NaNo Nugget of Wisdom: Do not develop any other obsessions during November, it will only screw with your focus.

At present, I'm struggling with trying to get out 2800, and reading Gojyo angst fics. Damn Saiyuki...

---

(8:01 am PT) - I write on...
[link] - (General)

Thanks, aglandiir, all encouragement is greatly appreciated at this point in time.

I've been told that week 2 is the worst. With 30 under wraps, I didn't think so. But I find that it probably will be for a completely different reason...

...I'm in a house with three people, and they all have a cold.

I can keep the immediate symptons such and coughing, sneezing, and pain down to a minimum. I find a 1-2 cups a tea a day helps. But the drained feeling, and the inability to focus, I can't do anything about.

Now was definitely not the time to get sick.

Next year I'm going to see if I can lock myself in and have food slipped under my door.

---

(11:09 am PT) - Because I'm not yet ready to take my NaNo today...
[link] - (General)

This seems to be the popular quiz floating about. I've seen it in three separate blournals. I'm hoping Mchan sees it and gives it a try. ::nudgehint::


Saying this is something of a surprise is an understatement. I thought perhaps descriptive, or maybe dark by a stretch. Although I have to say, three questions do not a comprehensive quiz make, so this one gets half a grain of salt, as compared to the full grain I give to other quizes.

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(8:09 pm PT) - I am the masochist queen
[link] - (General)

Sorry Domi-chan. I haven't been talking to anyone while I deal with NaNoWriMo.

Hopefully I'll finish in roughly another week, if I can at least break the halfway mark tonight.

Once I'm through with this, I'll get with you to finish our fic. I just want to prove to myself that I can see a project through to completion. And I don't have to worry about quality with this (good thing, it's suckking spectacularly).

Thank Goddess this is only a yearly thing.

For the masses, lyric share time. Tori Amos slipped a new CD by me last month, so I know what I'm going to aim for (though I believe Pearl Jam is coming out with one this month. Decisions, decisions).

---

(12:55 am PT) - The beautiful side of Nature
[link] - (General)

I'd like to say that right now it's raining, and would like for the Goddess and God to know that I find it a thing of unparallel beauty...

...along with breaking the 20k wordcount.

Unfortunately, the airplane going by drowns out the lovely sounds of raining, proving that once again nobody can mess up a moment of solitude quite like humans can.

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(7:03 am PT) - NaNoo... sucked my soul
[link] - (General)

I've been really wrapped up in NaNoWriMo, (which is one of those stupidly obvious statements), that I've forgotten about, well, everything. Socializing? Forget it. Site maintainence? Please. Useful work? No way.

So reading over some of the other blogs, I feel a little perturbed in that I haven't responded. (But then, there's many statements on the NaNo site that pretty much equate to foresake your life, because you tend to.)

So to those wondering where I am, I'm in literary hell. I will perhaps send a postcard later on, apologizing for not being of more support in your times of need, not being an ear to just let you get things off your chest, and not being a shoulder to cry on.

Yet this is something I truly need to do for myself. Yes, I'm writing crap that has a great possibility of never seeing the light of day, but if I finish, I can prove to myself that I am capable of seeing a project through to completion (even if the quality suffers terribly).

For the curious, week 1 will end with me seeing a 20k word count, which is 2/5 done (and easier to swallow when I break it down to smaller numbers).

If I'm lucky, I'll wrap it up by the third week, then I can enjoy Thanksgiving in peace.

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(7:08 pm PT) - Endurance is severely tested...
[link] - (General)

I broke the 15K word count today. I'm hoping to get another K in before I go to bed...

And all I can think of is, "Dear Goddess, what have I done."

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(10:02 pm PT) - NaNoo... cucoo
[link] - (General)

Four days and 11,613 words into this... and I'm already feeling the creeping fingers of dread tearing into me.

Help.

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(8:16 pm PT) - California, the dumb luck state
[link] - (General)

I can insult Cali... why? I've lived here for 20+ years, that's why. But today just boggles the mind.

This morning on the Long Beach Freeway, with a visibility of about 50 ft, there was a car pile up. This in and of itself might seem unremarkable... until you hear the number.

198.

198 car pile up, several wounded, some critically wounded, some needing to be cut from their cars...

but nobody died.

Un-fucking-belieavable.

On the flip side of the coin, my mind was bent into a pretzel not more than five minutes ago.

I'd like to direct your attention here:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Kingdom_Hearts_yml/
Trust me, this isn't another plug. Please, go there in a separate window.

Now then, I'm sure you will see the same thing in the ML summary. Note the last sentence for me. And I quote, "Please note, if your age is listed in your profile and it is under the known age of consent, I will not add you to the list."

This is simple enough to get around, just don't list your age in your profile. I'm not going to look or ask or hire a detective to find a person's age because frankly, I don't care. But, if a person who's age profile lists them as being a minor tries to sign up, I can be held liable for allowing them to join a mature list.

So please, someone, anyone... explain to me why just a few minutes ago, someone tried to join with a listed age of 15?

Am I stupid here? Am I missing something? Isn't it listed in plain English, (and if you don't speak Enlgish, whya re you there in the first place)?

I'm going to go and try to unfold my brain now, because it's wickedly twisted at the moment.

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(12:23 am PT) - Now I see the fun of referrers
[link] - (General)

To the person(s) looking for Kingdom Hearts Yaoi on Google and Yahoo, but keep getting sent here, you'd be wanting the ML I admin. You can find that at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Kingdom_Hearts_yml/

Shameless plug? Yup, but hey, if people are looking for this, why not?

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(12:49 pm PT) - Word count... get used to this, it'll be a daily occurence
[link] - (General)

Is it really procrastinating, if you think you're slacking off, only to find you'd unknowingly made your daily word count beofre you left the computer?

Today's word count: 2618
Total: 5185

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(8:08 pm PT) - [annoyance(2)]^3
[link] - (General)

It's around in the irked level, but the longer the silence continues, the more the numbers rise. See, I wanted to try my hand at kiribans (though I wound up being my own 1K and 1.5K hit, go fig). I finally got somewhere with 1515 and was asked to do a Squall-Tidus xover. I didn't manage the angst like I wanted because, damnit, the thing was getting too long just from me trying to make such a xover plausibe was making it longer than intended. Well, I finished on Halloween, and I'll admit, it's craptacular, but since it's a gift fic, I don't want to just post it up without seeing what the recipient might want. So I emailed... twice. Today, still nothing.

This makes me less thrilled about future kiribans, and I do't want to think how I'll feel if I find it was all for nothing. I'm not saying my writing is the end all and be all, and I know I could do better, but just the thought of the time put into it, and I did try... grr...

I'll stop thinking about it, while I'm still at the third exponent.

---

(1:30 pm PT) - It begins
[link] - (General)

NaNoWriMo begins. Though if you look at the word count at the main site, some people claim to have up to 18k already. This means either one of two things. One, they're lying, or two (and what I suspect) they started before today.

To those of you who started before November first, boo. Boo boo and boo again. Cheating is only good for video games. You're slighting other people by cheating in this.

Anyway, word count for today, 2514. 1 day down, 29 to go.

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(7:46 pm PT) - Samhain, All Hallow's Eve, Halloween, whatever floats your boat
[link] - (General)

The little commercial demons prowl the streets looking for ill-gotten loot.
The Wiccans, Pagans, Witches, and other kinds perform their rituals for Samhain.
Darker forces creep into the shadows and human hearts to see what kind of chaos they can create.
Demons wear human skins to freely walk almong us for one night.

This can only mean one thing...

NaNoWriMo begins tomorrow.

Am I scared? Worried? Panicked? Out of my freakin' mind?

You betcha!

Or I would be if I weren't sitting here buzzing off a sugar high.

OT: Remember, if you link to me and haven't spoken up yet (and I don't already link to you) please drop me a line. I'd like to meet/peek at you.

---

(9:01 pm PT) - Sometimes
[link] - (General)

Sometimes there's just nothing to say. Sometimes, there's no dry wit, or meaningful monologue. Sometimes there's no quirky findings or petty annoyances. Sometimes there's no random thoughts rocketing off into the cosmos at lightspeed.

Sometimes there's nothing to be found to cry out in futile rage. Sometimes there's nothing to keep a spark of hope burning.

Sometimes there's nothing of etremes, nor any middle ground.

Sometimes... words are just a bunch of letters that sit there, silent.

---

(5:29 pm PT) - Get me a blournal broom
[link] - (General)

This feels like a chore at the moment. Moving my fingers over the keyboard (one I can't see because it's dark yet I don't feel like disturbing that darkness) seems more a requirement than a release, least for now. Why? Well now, if I knew that, I'd know why any one person does any of the many strange things that only a human can do.

Why would someone diligently sort their clothes down to types of fabric?
Why would someone relate better to non-living things?
Why would someone feel the need to shoot into a crowd?

So basically, I don't know why I'm doing this if I feel it's such a burden. Still, as you can see, I am, or rather I have. I believe it will be different later on today, but that is how I feel right now.

Domi-chan, sorry I haven't managed to catch you yet. I want to get this fic out of the way so I can give more attention to our fic.

Mchan, yes, considering who you're talking to, you know exactly how that sounded.

Amber luv, I know I'm not a talkative type ('cept here, obviously), but I have the message option turned on in this thing. Besides, I don't want to have a public conversation. So if you need to get something off your chest, use that, and I'll email you back. I'd say AIM, but truth, I'm better with email. I can think versus letting my mouth get away from me like I'm want to do.

Finally to anyone who actually links to this place, ('sides you, Kit), I need a favour. Google doesn't like me. I'm using a tracker, but that only works if the link is used. So, if you link to me, I'd like to know. Why? I'm curious. If you find this good enough to link to, then I'd like to meet you, via your own blournal. Fair game, I think. You peek at me, I want to peek at you. Those people I've linked to here, don't worry. I know you already.

Okay, I have a fic to kill. Oh yes, baaaaad llamajoy is tempting me with her remarkable writing into doing something I'm normally squicky about... brothers. (What, you thought I'd say het? HAH!)

---

(6:30 pm PT) - Release
[link] - (General)

I couldn't remember if I ever posted these lyrics before. A search on the Nucleus turned up nil, but I can't search my old journal. ::shrugs:: Well, in any case, they're worth repeating.

Father... ooh... oh...

I see the world, feel the chill
Which way to go, windowsill
I see the world's on a rocking horse at time
I see the birds in the rain
Ohh...ohh...ohh...ohh...

Oh, dear dad, can you see me now
I am myself, like you somehow
I'll ride the wave where it takes me
I'll hold the pain... Release me...
Ohh...ohh...ohh...ohh...

Oh, dear dad, can you see me now
I am myself, like you somehow
I'll wait up in the dark for you to speak to me
I'll open up... Release me...
Release me
Release me
Release me
Ohh...ohh...ohh...ohh...

Pearl Jam "Release"

---

(6:22 pm PT) - One of those weird surveys.
[link] - (General)

I got this survey from Fox's lj, who Ki's been speaking to of late... I figured, being bored, why the hell not?

1. What's the first thing you remember wanting to be when you grew up?
Famous and powerful, moreso the latter.

2. Describe a dream you remember.
It's been so long, but the one that stands out is me trying to get away from someone/thing trying to kill me, only to impale myself on some spikes that should not have been there when I jumped out the window.

3. What book are you reading?
I'm not, unless looking an Japanese tankouban count. Last book I read was "The Shelter of Stone" by Jean M. Auel.

4. What colour are your sheets?
White, because someone has the pale blue ones I like, and I keep forgetting to get myself a set of tropical floral print on black.

5. What song is in your head right now?
"Release" - Pearl Jam

6. Waitaminnit... Where are you?
I'm In Sane

7. I am afraid of...:
Never knowing the embrace of a true love, a violent, painful, slow death, children, Hello Kitty vibrators

8. Your day job/dream job:
Depends, does it have to be legal?

9. What movie have you seen the most times?
What, by choice?

10. One question for Jesus, or Buddha or Muhammed, etc:
Who's laughing about me being here, anyway?

11. The guilty pleasure you'd really rather not admit to here:
chocolate vanilla pudding as a lube.

12. Comfort food of choice:
Mandarin Orange tea... or shrimp tempura... fuck it, french fries.

13. What's the last video you rented?
I don't. I don't like live-people movies, and it's too hard to get anime around me.

14. Who do people say you look like?
An evil bitch.

15. What's the bane of your existence?
Erica Estelle Capers. I'd post her address if I had it.

16. What's the last thing you found on the ground and picked up?
Probably one of my doujinshi or tankouban. I have yet to find a decent place for it after the last yaoicon.

17. A writer worth reading:
I can't list just one, because the Book of Curmudgeons had multiple writers.

18. Where would you like to grow old?
Japan... near a bookstore... with lots of cats and doujinshi.

19. A word of wisdom:
Sex

20. The question you get asked ALL THE TIME!!!:
"You're not kidding, are you?"

21. When was your last hospital visit?
I have no idea. And until I can get some decent medical coverage, I hope it's still a long ways off.

22. The last thing you said out loud:
"Uh-huh."

23. Current clothing:
Bra, faded floral-on-black housedress and socks.

24. Your favourite season:
Winter

25. In my last lifetime I was probably:
a guy

---

(8:53 am PT) - The fic that wouldn't end
[link] - (General)

I know, I didn't say anything yesterday. I know I haven't chatted to anyone. I know I haven't said a peep on the MLs. Why? Fic. I would love to be able to write the end and send this fic off, but, because I want it to be somewhat plausible, I can't. I have to explain theological theories and logical plot devices with the tools given me from both games and damnit, this fic won't die.

So I'm ficcing. When I'm through, I'll be a bit more sociable. Until then, I'm beating myself and the fic.

Oh yes, for the curious, it's a Squall-Tidus xover. I don't do PWPs, I need a reason to get one of them over to where the other one is...

so... kill me now.

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(9:43 am PT) - Gay porn is not yaoi / Viruses afoot
[link] - (General)

Oh yeah Harlen, I know they don't necessarily have my addy in their address book, I'm just annoyed because they won't scan their friggin' comp and see they're infected in the first place. At least once a month, a thorough scanning, how hard is that?

Unrelated note. To those who run gay m/m sites and thing all yaoi fans are into that, hate to burst your bubble, but no. Most of us prefer our males animated, got that? An-i-mat-ed. And if not beautiful or pretty, then at least frigging cute... and not with so much body hair that you think they're wearing a fur coat. So please think before spamming a yaoi ML with your gay porn site. Yes, I'm sure it's a nice site, but 9-of-10, we don't like 'em live. Maybe some, but I assure you it's not the majority.

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(6:41 am PT) - 6-something a.m. insomnia
[link] - (General)

In an effort to make sure I don't unintentionally annoy some hapless person with a virus, I'm doing the monthly scanning of the comp. This involves watching McAfee peek though all the files in C.

So basically, my comp's being molested and raped by my virus scanner to make sure it's clean.

Anyone else find this peculiar?

Oh yeah, Domino, I was going to set that up, but I forgot to ask a somewhat significant question... what do you want the space/folder name to be (this will show up as the url to root). I'll try to catch you on AIM later, though some thoughtful person passed on a cold on the bus trip back.

Now, to see if I can sit up long enough to do anything, or else try and go back to sleep.

edit: According to McAfee, the rape, er, scan was successful, and my comp is clean. Now if only the wankers who keep sending a vee-rus to my toraku addy would clean their computer. I'm getting really effin' tired of deleting those messages.

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(8:28 am PT) - Random thoughts from a delusional, sleep-deprived mind
[link] - (General)

Two words: Yam Juice. Why is this not on the market?

Why is it when one carries their luggage from the con, they swear they didn't buy that much, but when they unpack, they swear they bought more than that?

Obsessions are expensive, unless it's breathing.

Why is there more daylight savings than standard? If that's the case, why not call that standard instead? Considering why it was introduced, why bother having it at all?

The following words shouldn't be in the same sentence, let alone a doujinshi: Chibi, Safer Seph, and sex.

</random>

---

(2:42 pm PT) - I'm okay, somewhat... I'm lucid, how's that?
[link] - (General)

Thank you, Mina. I think I'm more or less okay, it was just a shock having so much pile up right after getting back. Right now I'm just unpacking and wondering where to put all the books and things while trying to figure out which project to work on first. In this case, work on finishing the new Zel-Gourry site, begin work on the new Kingdom Hearts site, finish a fic, or start a new one.

So many choices, and so many loud muses...

---

(8:51 am PT) - Oh dear goddess
[link] - (General)

Apparently there is a malevolent force out to make sure I do not stay too happy...

I just heard from the ML that Dannell's death was actually last month. She called an ambulance on 9-16, complaining of trouble breathing. She told the hospital she had no living relatives, so her body was never claimed. We don't know if she was given a county buriel or cremated or what. So I'm sitting here feeling this overwhelming helplessness because damnit, she deserved better than that. But there's nothing I can do.

Mi madre had a nervous breakdown last night because of my sister. Both of my sisters have been pushing her closer to the edge, even though none of us know why. Mom wonders what she did wrong to produce two extremely insensitive, shallow, and self-centered people. I know it wasn't her, though, because my brother and I aren't like that. I was forced to be insensitive to a point just to protect myself, but I know how to get past that when the need arises.

I have to run interference and keep those people who might set mom off away from her, while at the same time deal with my own imbalance. Add to that, I'm out of [prescription] drugs, but it's been hell trying to get them.

It's minor, but I can't help but feel I committed a faux pas (I spell that right?) at the con. It's bugging me, because I don't know what I did, nor to whom.

There's a million and one things waiting for me to do online, and I know I can't do them all and juggle this family thing as well, even though I'm foolishly going to try.

I feel myself slipping sideways, so I'm scrambling for an emotional purchase. I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be so stressed out and teetering on my own darkness after just coming from a break.

Unless it's for something I did wrong. But how the hell do you repent when you don't know what crime you committed in the first place?

---

(7:54 pm PT) - Virus scanner, people, please!
[link] - (General)

To whoever has my toraku-AT-yaoiville-DOT-com address on their comp and keeps sending me viruses, do me a fave... clean your damn computer. Those messages are a whopping 120+ kb each, and I've gotten five since I've been away, and one today. It's really annoying on top of taking up space.

So do me and probably countless others a fave, regularly check your comp and if you find something, clean it. Also, checking various virus sites helps to keep you updated on what's out, what's bad, and what's no longer a threat.

Thank you.

---

(7:40 pm PT) - Yaoicon II
[link] - (General)

Let it be known, I didn't spend as much time in the video room as I would have liked, but here's a list of "awards" to what I did watch.

The Award for ___ goes to...

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(4:39 pm PT) - Yaoicon I
[link] - (General)

I'm going to randomly comment on the con for a day or so, since I have to recover at the same time. So, click to read part one: People & Places

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(7:19 am PT) - ,,,,
[link] - (General)

That con report may have to wait a bit... I found out something and I'm still in a bit of shock.

Dannell Lites is best known for her DC fanfics (many slash). She was a very friendly and outgoing person to know, and her fics touched and inspired many. I didn't get too many chances to talk to her, but the times I did I remember with great fondness.

Her fics were a true joy to read. Seldom did I ever leave one without a small smile. Those too I will cherish.

I'm sitting here, dimly wishing this were just some bad rumor or mistake. I'd give anything to know this is just a bad joke. But, I don't think it is.

And for someone who supposedly writes, I have no words.


I'll miss you, Dannell.

---

(7:35 pm PT) - I have return...
[link] - (General)

I'm back. I'm tired. I'll post tomorrow.
Newest anime obsessions:
Saiyuki
Bronze

That's all for now.

---

(9:14 pm PT) - Going going gone...
[link] - (General)

The final goodbye...

...goodbye!

(I'll be back Monday. I'll have full Report Tuesday, if I've recovered sufficiently. Ta-ta!)

---

(5:28 pm PT) - To do part 2
[link] - (General)

Breakfast bars
Finish packing

...not too bad. I've done much.

---

(7:22 pm PT) - Things to do
[link] - (General)

To do List:
Hair
Laundry
Get batteries for CDman
Pick up tickets
Wage unholy war on Bank for missing $50
Wander aimlessly figuring out what to do next
Get breakfast bars for bus trip.
set MLs for web only
More wondering
Finalize arrangements between room and ride
Pack
announce to those who need to know I'll be gone
Make sure others don't give me the sad act about leaving
Unpack, because I know I forgot something
Check email in case of last minute changes
Panic
Repack
Panic
drink tea, preferrably drugged
sleep
leave