Locuran

Tuesday, March 04, 2008



(7:23 am PT) - nh
[link] - (indescribable)

I didn't want to mention this until I had a timeframe. Now that I do... not that knowing helps any.

My older sister's grandmère has been diagnosed with liver cancer. I suppose I like the woman well enough, though I admit to having some issues when I learned about some of the things that happened between her and my stepfather. But that's beside the point. What this is doing now is damn near forcing me to acknowledge (and interact with) my sister, whom I still can't stand, and was planning on spending the rest of my life never seeing again.

Of course I had the "do it for 'granny' talk from mom. But even though I admit to liking the woman well enough, I can't say I feel close enough to her to deal with my sister. (I don't even like using 'granny', but would rather use her nickname of 'Pep'.) And she's not related to me, a fact my sister very loudly and rudely pointed out to our younger sister during an argument. In fact, she (and she alone) has often conveniently pointed out and claimed various unique blood-ties when it suited her. (And yet still didn't go to her own father's funeral, but everyone thought she did because I went.) But I digress.

It's very hard for me to let bygones be bygones when there was absolutely no resolution. Plus, school is very important to me and sapping my will to live takes up a tremendous amount of time. Plus I just know when I go over there I'm going to hear crap like 'you've gained weight'. (I know this, that's why I've traded my treadmill for a bike, thanks.) And 'what are you doing with your life'. (Back in school and working on it, helLO.) It will be very difficult not to point out that darling sis has graduated from UCLA and is currently unemployed, so kindly get off my derrière. I'm not one for humouring people unless absolutely necessary.

But knowing the timeframe (6 months, though I'm told that's a standard given for this and could well be longer) can I force myself to put aside differences, leave my comfort zone, and go visit once? It may seem easy and I should get over myself, but when I say I wasn't ever planning on seeing my sister again, that was one step shy of a blood vow. If I could stomach cutting myself, it might have been one at that.

I don't know. I think for now I'm going to finish this current class and think on it when my break comes up on the 17th. In the mean time, I'll do what I can to support mom, who is taking it hard.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008



(2:34 pm PT) - hmrph
[link] - (indescribable)

I think everything is working, save maybe those email notices on the RP board. Not sure yet. Anyway, I still advise keeping an eye out. Support was and wasn't helpful. They fixed the obvious problems but 1: kept creating new ones, and 2: spoke to me like I didn't read their so-called tips and instructions when I damn well did. (Obviously if those had worked I wouldn't have needed to contact support now would I?) Hn.

In other (and for me largely triumphant) news, I finished scanning my graphic and related novels into LibraryThing. (I'm debating if I want to include my none Jp books/novels.) For the curious (it was 440 at last count), my catalog can be found at http://www.librarything.com/catalog/LNTora

The cover view is kinda pretty, but image heavy for those with slower connections.

Monday, December 31, 2007



(9:32 pm PT) - toast!
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm not in '08 yet, but I know some of you are. Hope you're enjoying it. Cheers!

Me, so not getting drunk, but that's okay. My brother's drunk somewhere in Vegas. That means he's not here. I want to enjoy that state of affairs sober anyway.

Serious gift production mode begins this week. ::nods::

Friday, December 28, 2007



(8:12 am PT) - La la life
[link] - (indescribable)

Brother is going to visit someone in Henderson, NV and will be leaving this afternoon. Thus mom and I concluded this would be the perfect evening to go catch Sweeney Todd.

Still (slowly) working on GhD gifts. But I think everyone knows me well at this point to know when I ship out.

Nothing much else going on, just random frustrations with the school. (Class starts officially on the 7th. Not looking forward to it.) Meh.

Monday, December 24, 2007



(9:00 pm PT) - Merry Holidays and all that jazz...
[link] - (indescribable)

Some guy has a Xmas display with a crucified Santa and text reading, "He died for your mastercard bill" or something to that effect. I'd love to go see it.

Packages, of which there was two. From Moon-chan: half dozen novelty pens (piglet makes me giggle), figurine, photobook (makes me want to take pictures), and the gem: fuzzy bear! He has a new home with his new siblings, all 30+ of them. ^^ Yes, the grinch queen known as LN has a plushie collection. Sue me. From Ronda, beaded phone strap (and I can use it now!), bracelets, lovely scents, and gem: PotC watch! Which matches perfectly with the backpack Miry gave me. (Now your comment makes sense, Ronda, but no worries, there's no such thing as too much PotC.)

Thanks, luvs, both packages are wonderful!

Remember, I'm perpetually late, so my shipping will be done for Groundhog's Day. (Which is good as I'm also having a slow start to boot.)

It's been an interesting year, full of ups and downs. I'd like to thank my flist for getting on the ride with me, whether you meant to or not. It will only get weirder, but somehow I think if it's a shared weirdness with our own unique perspectives to add colour to it, we'll manage.

May the stress of the holidays start to wind own for you all. And viva the after sales!

Sunday, December 23, 2007



(10:11 am PT) - love love
[link] - (indescribable)

I. Know. Love.

I will never, ever get a duplicate manga again. My only regret is they only do books, though I can't think of any time I duped on a DVD. However, I'm hoping there's a similar service I can use for that. I was going to use a local installed program, but online is better just for accessing it anywhere. So next year at the con, before I buy, I can just write down the titles, hit the lappy, and make sure I don't have it already.

Joy.

Thursday, December 20, 2007



(8:56 am PT) - Finally, ie spellchecker
[link] - (indescribable)

Just about every browser I have to use has a spellcheck... except IE7. And I have always loathed that considering one of my RP accounts uses IE7, because it meant I had to open Word to get a spellcheck on the post. And sometimes I'd forget. Fortunately, I found an addon, so no more Word for me. I can finally feel my browsers are on equal footing now. More or less.

And because I love sharing (programs anyway): http://www.iespell.com/ Tis freeware to boot. (Because we all know I hate paying if I don't have to.)

Random news, today's LFG page, last two panels, best line ever. Might require a titlebar change.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007



(7:14 pm PT) - a note
[link] - (indescribable)

Just a heads up since I'm noticing a trend on the last post. I think you can use the openID on Livejournal to also leave comments at InsaneJournal. (In fact, I tested it, and it seems to work.) This could be handy if anyone needs a reply from me to a comment. It also creates a pseudo-account in IJ that you can set for email notifications for replies. Just thought I'd toss that out there.

Nothing else going on other than I need to see what the laws are for mailing/shipping alcohol. Boo.

Thursday, December 13, 2007



(11:02 pm PT) - First non-LJ duped post...
[link] - (indescribable)

Well, the feed will catch it, but meh, not the same and that's fine.

Anyway, when LotR first hit the scene, while I wanted to watch, I was aware of two things that stopped me. 1. I knew fandom would be nuts, so I wanted to avoid that. (And really, I think HP has surpassed LotR, so likely it's safe now.) 2. I couldn't remember why there was something I wasn't going to like about the ending. See, I'd read the book years ago, and seen an animated version (Bakshi's, I think), but for the life of me I couldn't remember what it was about the ending that I just knew I wasn't going to like.

Well, my extended DVDs arrived today, and not wanting to get too much of an emotional investment before I figured out why I wasn't going to like that end, I popped in the last DVD and looked at the last three scenes.

Frodo leaving. Now I remember why I always hated that ending, dammit.

To fix this situation, I shall now go pop in PotC, for I need something light-hearted, and Jack always makes me laugh.

In other news, I may have a smaller list this year than I thought. That's okay, saves on postage. Not that I ship until Groundhog's Day. I don't celebrate Xmas (mainly because I'm forever late), but I always celebrate Groundhog's Day.

What? The little furball needs love, too.



(8:08 pm PT) - a (conditional) adieu
[link] - (indescribable)

I finally finished a layout I believe I'm comfortable with in IJ. What does that mean now? Means after this post I go turn off the plugin in Locuran that's been posting to LJ. The feed's still there, but commenting to that means the chances are extremely high I won't see said comment, and won't reply. Only reason this isn't a complete adieu is there are still a lot of fic comms (active no less) on LJ, so I'm lurking around for them. If the majority of them move, then that's when it will likely be a complete and total 'goodbye'.

Farewell, LJ. It's been fun... save for when it hasn't.

Sunday, December 09, 2007



(5:18 am PT) - Hm
[link] - (indescribable)

The problem with being frustrated, annoyed, or upset on someone else's behalf usually means that, because one is not directly involved, there's little they can personally do about it. But the negative feelings are still there.

Because Ki asked about it, the Locuran feed will likely still work on LJ since it's just them pulling content from my rss feed. The only ways I know of that stopping are: 1. LJ stops pulling it. 2. I tell LJ to stop pulling it. 3. I change or remove the feed. No, what's going to happen is locked posts or posts wil polls will now strictly be on IJ. The feed posts from Locuran also won't have any of the additional features than an actual post in LJ would, like tag and mood.

So now it's just a matter of making a layout I'm actually happy with. Think I might have to go with the redhead kappa and see if I can find some decent pics and work from that. I would say Gambit, but finding decent pics that work in a layout is difficult. I think I have better luck with Gojyo.

In Xmas news, I still plan on doing the pirate theme, however I realise, for stress and finances sake, I honestly can't send it out to everyone I know. So, I can send it to a few but not all and, in light of that, I just ask everyone (because I haven't made my final list yet) who received something from me last year to list 1-2 things I've made that you enjoyed more than the rest. (Or if you want to chance it, list a fic idea)

And finally (though most meaningful to me), I am the proud owner of a PotC backpack, 1 PotC dj, 1 FF8 dj, and a UFO doll. All with much love from Miry! ::huggles:: Thanks, luv! The backpack made me chuckle. ^_^

Sunday, December 02, 2007



(8:13 pm PT) - uh huh
[link] - (indescribable)

Am I in the minority of those who just doesn't give a rat's ass anymore?

Though this comment might ring closer to truth than they'll admit to.

Thursday, November 29, 2007



(12:55 pm PT) - mindWTFery
[link] - (indescribable)

I played a game
It broke my brain
And now I'll never
be the same

That is to say
this game I play
might make me a little
more insane


At least that's how I felt after playing a game, yes. And now I have some WTFery running through my head, which is demanding to be created into a site that will breed more WTFery until it multiplies and has little WTFery babies all over the place.

Um, yeah.

Yes, there's a point to this point (in as much as any of my posts ever have one). You, yes you. I know you've had mental WTFery moments, haven't you? Yes, you have, I can see it. Share them. I don't care what they are. Riddle, thought, picture, joke, just share. So long as it's something your comfortable with sharing with others.

I'll likely screen comments for this one in LJ and IJ. Yes, there's a point to this two. If I'm lucky, I'll have part of it up to show in a few days.

Friday, November 23, 2007



(9:15 am PT) - Darn
[link] - (indescribable)

Sorry, I missed the usual turkey day greetings yesterday. I was knee deep in it is why. But hope those who celebrated had a happy one, and for those who don't, hope it was as relaxing/stress free a day as possible.

Well, I always hope that, really.

Random, another from the "I want but cannot get" pile. Woe.

Monday, November 19, 2007



(6:53 pm PT) - None for me, thanks, I'm dead
[link] - (indescribable)

Once again I've gotten the insane masochistic streak known as NaNoWriMo out of my system. Sure, it sucks dead goat nuts, but that's okay. For once, quantity overrides quality.

And Ticketmaster has sent an email telling me my tickets have been printed. Nice way to reward me, I think. /^^;

Tuesday, November 13, 2007



(10:21 pm PT) - Decisions decisions
[link] - (indescribable)

So, regarding the Bon Jovi one, I'm going.Even tossed in a bit more and got a floor seat. Yes, I'm hopeless. The only reason I wasn't really sure was a had a nagging voice in my head that sounded like my mother reminding me that we need a chest freezer. I reconciled this by committing to it next month.

Though I'd like to know why I'm the only one paying on it. Mom I'm not hung on since she pays the bulk of things by taking care of the rent. But when it comes to giving gifts that we know she wants, it seems my sibs are falling down on the job.

I'm still undecided about the vidroom and co-chairing. I think I'm worried I just won't do a good job. le sigh.

With approx. 12500 words left, I think it's safe to say I'm seeing a light at the end of the NaNo tunnel. Then I must devote major time to rp. After that, Xmas crafting... for stuff I send out on Groundhog's Day. :nods::

Sunday, November 11, 2007



(11:02 pm PT) - Ah ha ha ha... medic.
[link] - (indescribable)

I am 1 day and almost 2k ahead of schedule. ::clings to productivity:: I know fear however, because I'm almost out of orange oil. I burn it during NaNo. Usually works.

In other news, there's no getting around it. I'm going to have to go through all the manga I have and make an inventory. I have a stack of duplicates I'll likely sell off very soon, but before I can order any more I have to see what I got. This is important as I think I'm slipping with a few series. The only reason I'm cringing is because getting to some of the books is going to be a pain and a half. Blegh.

@Amber: I might save the death event for Sai's adult years. I want to have one more (shorter) event for his teens before I move into those. Anyway, you seem to be enjoying the story so far, which makes me happy. What's funny is a lot of stuff I am just now figuring out myself about him. /^^;

Anyway, I'm due for a reward, so I think I'll go look at some more DMC anime. I didn't need a reason to fangirl on Dante any more than I do, but I'll gladly accept it.

Saturday, November 10, 2007



(10:21 pm PT) - buzzed
[link] - (indescribable)

Note to self: do not imbibe alcoholic drinks before you've finished the word count for the day.

Also, Word is messing with my head. I have two instances of it opened: today's file and the entire file. In today's file the word count is 2700. In the entire file the same section, when highlighted, is counted at 2699. It's the same program, how can it lose a word from one window to the next? Gah.

For the most part we are dried out and no personal belongings were damaged. That said, the padding in certain areas will have to be replaced, which will hopefully be done on Monday. Unpadded carpet = uncomfortable. And they'll have to do something about the wet spots in the ceiling and the hallway light.

To those who were concerned, thank you for the thoughts. We're fine at present. Now if I can just get certain family members to understand that if I'm writing for Nano, then dumb shit can wait, I'd be even better.

Friday, November 09, 2007



(9:12 am PT) - mostly dry, I think
[link] - (indescribable)

My section of the carpet seems to be dried. Not sure about the rest; think brother's closet is still soaked. Going to need new padding. (Seriously, we're looking at the concrete. Brother said it looked very old world. Nobody agrees with me about keeping it that way, though.) Still have a wet spot in my ceiling, but I think it might be fading.

So nothing appears to be damaged save the carpet and the extremely dangerous hallway light, but I'm still frazzled by it all. Water, electronics, and doujinshi do not mix.

Thursday, November 08, 2007



(2:49 pm PT) - KillMaimTortureAbuse...
[link] - (indescribable)

A bit of unexpected and decidedly unwanted excitement happened on my side of the monitor.

At approximately 1:50pm PST my apartment sprung a leak. The bathroom floor was flooded, the hallway light was leaking (super dangerous), water leaked into my brother's closet and it even stretched into the living room. Part of my own floor was saturated and I'm keeping a careful eye on a wet spot on my ceiling.

Why? Did a pipe burst? Did the sprinklers go off? Was the structural integrity compromised? Nope.

The upstairs neighbours let their tub overflow.

None of my personal belongings have been damaged yet, and the manager and some crew are working on things as I type.

This doesn't make the urge to brutalise my neighbours lessen, however.

Dear Reality, if this is your roadblock to make me fail NaNo, good show, but I'm going to hang in there a bit longer, okay?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007



(10:18 pm PT) - Phew...
[link] - (indescribable)

Broke 20k a day earlier than I'd averaged out. Not that I think I can keep a pace of 4k a day. (Oh if only I could, I'd be so done so fast.) But as long as I don't slack just because I got ahead, I should be okay. So it's looking like I'll be done around the 19th. ::prays::

Tomorrow before writing I'll be playing catch up, which includes boards, email, and the like. So anything you want me to hit, let me know.

Friday, November 02, 2007



(10:41 pm PT) - Pheh
[link] - (indescribable)

So apparently there's a bunch of email providers blocking LJ, including hotmail. LJ/6A wants to say it's not their fault, the big nasty email providers are doing it. I find this a little hard to believe since soon as I switched my main account over, I get two pieces of spam, both with a spoofed LJ address. So obviously those providers must have a pretty good reason for the blockage.

Anyway, I switched both my main and fic LJ addies over, so hopefully I'll start receiving comment notices again. Not holding my breath, though.

Amber, glad you liked the first part. I think that format is likely how the rest of the story will follow, least if I'm lucky. ::crosses fingers::

Thursday, November 01, 2007



(11:29 pm PT) - The insanity starts all over again
[link] - (indescribable)

Sorry if I haven't commented/replied/posted anywhere. Mainly after I got back home I kinda spazzed and crashed more than I usually do. Next thing I know, NaNo started. Bah.

So kindly remind me if I'm supposed to do something. Trust me, I have forgotten.

As for NaNo, it's the usual routine for posting at my fic journal. It's locked, so if you want to read, comment here if you're not already on the flist. To note however one must friend the journal as well so I don't get friend/friend of discrepancies. Anyone who hasn't friended I removed as I figured they're not interested and I don't want to bother anyone.

Anyway, that's all I can think of for now. I have orange oil and coffee, so hopefully the month will go smoothly. ::knocks::

Tuesday, October 30, 2007



(7:26 pm PT) - still tired
[link] - (indescribable)

Someone smack me tomorrow if I haven't posted about the con by then.

Gnome, I'll post to the board no later than tomorrow, but aiming for tonight.

Monday, October 29, 2007



(8:41 pm PT) - ...it ends
[link] - (indescribable)

Back home. Long trip. Will post later after a bit of ipoding and reading. Just relaxing now.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007



(10:51 pm PT) - It starts...
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm currently out of state, (typing from Dom's comp). I'll be back in state sometime tomorrow/Thursday.

I've been told I absolutely have to be back by next Tuesday evening, as the Peanuts Halloween special is coming on. I know my mom, she'll guilt me if I miss. Hell, I'd guilt me if I missed. I don't care if I'm 32 and she's... older. It's tradition, and we have so few.

Anyway, next post should be from the hotel...

Monday, October 22, 2007



(8:04 am PT) - To Do
[link] - (indescribable)

This one's mainly to help me keep things in order as I want to be finished with it all today and just be able to wake up, wash, and head out tomorrow.

To Do:
Laundry
Hair
Shoes/OTC Drugs
Packing
Panicking

... in that order.

To Pack:
Gnomes DVDs
Ouran manga
DMC djs
cart for DR
clip fan to sleep with
lappy
clothes
bath items
comb/brush

Carry-on:
OTC drugs
make-up
ipod
DS (DoS, PoR, AC:WW, PH, HD, JFA, and action replay)
ID
couple reading manga

Sunday, October 21, 2007



(8:17 am PT) - Uwah
[link] - (indescribable)

What is up with this season's boots? Everywhere I went they all had a 3 in + heel! I don't want a heel, dammit! I want a nice pair of flat or low heeled boots that are taller than my ankle, in my size. Is that too much to ask? Crudmuffins.

I take off Tuesday. I'm not ready...

Thursday, October 18, 2007



(6:34 pm PT) - Ugh
[link] - (indescribable)

What a week, and it's not over. Dammit.

If anyone sees my sanity roaming around, please tell it to come home soon. I'm beginning to miss the tiny, little critter. Emphasis on tiny.

I could let loose with a long a probably slightly whiny rant on the current state of affairs, but I'll spare everyone that. I hate to whine after all. And I have no cheese.

I don't care what anyone says, Halloween is a vacation day for me. Guh. And then right into NaNo. I'm not ready.

Sunday, October 14, 2007



(10:50 pm PT) - Looking for Group...
[link] - (indescribable)

Dear LFG, today's page ripped my heart out, stomped on it a few times, and handed it back to me on a silver platter. By all rights I know I should hate you for that, but damn it all, the Cale angst makes me love you more.

I'd curse you if I weren't so busy loving you.
---
@Kit: the experience has actually left me comfortable enough to consider removing my floppy drive and replacing it with an backup internal HD. So likely it will only be a matter of time (and money) before I just build my own. (Have to look into the liquid coolant system first.)

Saturday, October 13, 2007



(9:48 am PT) - Ugh
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm having comp trouble. You can imagine the scare when I woke up to a blank screen that said "No OS Found". I was thinking HD failure and already mourning the loss of programs and bookmarks. (Thank the Divine that I had decided to use my external as my main file storage so most important stuff was on there.) Anyway, hooked up lappy to net, got on HP chat, and after seeing the master wasn't detected in bios, the guy told me to try switching the MB pins between the HD and dvd to see if it was connection trouble.

I have never, ever, ever felt comfortable with the hardware. Never. I was strictly software type. But I followed the directions and after fuddling around (trans: removing wrong screws, unplugging what I didn't have to, resisting urge to go out and shoot something), I managed to switch the pins like the guy said, put it all back, and booted up.

Is there any euphoria equal to seeing one's familiar desktop picture pop up after such an ordeal?

But now my dvd is listed as my primary and my HD as my secondary. I'm sure that's no good. I'll have to get back on hp chat.

One really bright spot in all this, I don't feel so squeamish if the time comes that I need to replace my HD.

Update: Seems I can leave the switched pin/cables be, so I'm back to rights. Really, only thing would have been the loss of programs and (more importantly) bookmarks, but who wants to go through that? Though I do see some Firefox addons that will synch bookmarks, which might be handy for the lappy.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007



(11:39 pm PT) - heh, he has his moments
[link] - (indescribable)

Gas for trip to comic shop: $5
Comics: 6.99
Talking with brother about why most male readers seem to hate Gambit and having him say the majority of guys are stupid: priceless

I don't hate men. Not a bit. It was my brother who said a lot of guys are stupid. In turn I was the one who said a lot of women are insane.

Forget that Mars and Venus stuff, my brother and I are going to get matching shirts that read: Men are stupid, Women are insane. Mom said we might be onto something, but she's a biased opinion.

In other news, the actual paper reading AA finally arrived. Sure, it's got about the value of a HS diploma at this point, but it's nice to see physical evidence of all the BS I went through in school.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007



(2:09 pm PT) - change isn't just from vending machines
[link] - (indescribable)

It's not that I'm particularly resistant to change in and of itself, it's that I'm just incredibly lazy to initiate change for things that took a lot of time and effort to build in the first place.

Definitely a personality issue I should work on.

That said, the titlebar in Locuran has a change, now featuring a quote from Einstein. He's one of my top five favourite people to quote. Somewhere between Groucho Marx and George Carlin.

On another note, I have to apologise for not being as chatty/comment-y to various people on the flist. Just haven't had my head in the game known as reality for awhile it seems.

Monday, October 08, 2007



(9:59 pm PT) - My gaming curse...
[link] - (indescribable)

I just bought Zelda: Phantom Hourglass for the DS. I'm now in a race to beat it before I have to leave for the con. Because obviously, I'm insane.

Sunday, October 07, 2007



(7:09 am PT) - Well so much...
[link] - (indescribable)

...for posting every day. Hate those sneak attack sleeps that creep up on you and then, wham, you're out like a light. Ah well.

Hmm, nearly two weeks before I head out. And just like all the previous years, I get that 'don' wanna' feeling. I suspect it's the travelling aspect I just don't like most of the time. Well that and packing.

Had to scratch cosplay idea as people didn't repay me in a timely manner. Oh I have it all, but it's cutting it too close so I won't bother. I'll save it for next year.

I do want to finish an LJ icon pendant and wear that, just not sure which icon to use. Hmm...

Thursday, October 04, 2007



(11:13 pm PT) - Got nuthin'
[link] - (indescribable)

I got nothing tonight. Nothing. Just spaced out all day. Ah well, I have posts to go do so I'd better do them before I crash, but yish, don't have a lot of working grey matter. Seems to only be good for reading, not writing.

I wonder if I'm in mental hibernation and just waiting for NaNo?

For those who know the character, this year I believe I'll do the beginning backstory for Sai. Expect lots of weird feline humour as a result.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007



(10:39 pm PT) - surreality
[link] - (indescribable)

I swear RL is becoming more surreal the closer I get to the con. Having trouble focusing on much of anything and feeling tired. Bah, hope it's not a sign of getting sick, though would prefer to get through it now than at the con. I've had a cold at the con 3 years in a row I think. It's not fun. Day-quil is my only salvation.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007



(9:41 pm PT) - another day
[link] - (indescribable)

Trying to keep to a personal goal of posting once a day this month just because I've been so lax. Problem is I just don't have that much to talk about. My interests are a bit all over and not that popular about the flist. RL's about the same as I look for a different online school. And mainly, I've been spacing out and having trouble focusing on things I need to do.

Yup, it's October.

Monday, October 01, 2007



(10:33 am PT) - Last quarter of 07
[link] - (indescribable)

The years just don't hang around long enough anymore. And the last quarter is always the busiest for me. Like I don't have enough on my plate. Ah well, some things I try and do no matter what, so long as they don't feel like a chore. The minute that happens I'll quit... unless I'm getting paid for it, that's different.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007



(4:36 pm PT) - Still breathing...
[link] - (indescribable)

Or as Duncan Sheik said, barely breathing.

SNAFU is my average way of life seems, so the 'situation normal' part is true enough. I'm having trouble far as going for my bachelors as UoP is slightly more expensive than anticipated. I'll have to shop around now, especially for something that has distance learning. Also, I was supposed to reinstall the RP board but 1. mom's been sick lately making it hard to complete testing, and 2. yesterday I wasn't allowed on the comp for most of the day as it was brother's bday. ::shrugs:: C'est la vie, I'll work on the forum tonight, least the tester one.

Nothing much going on otherwise, though I'm getting disappointed in that I'm trying to find a back issue comic, Gambit annual 2000, and I can't seem to locate it anywhere. Even eBay is failing me. Not happy.

Well, least the art for the upcoming Messiah Complex arc is looking good. Yeesh, Marvel, quick dickin' the Cajun around, please?

Monday, September 17, 2007



(12:45 pm PT) - Just curious
[link] - (indescribable)

Anyone considering/going to this Yaoi Jamboree? I might, but need a roommate.

Saturday, September 08, 2007



(11:58 am PT) - quickie
[link] - (indescribable)

Quick reminder, if you tried to use my hotmail addie at some point and I didn't seem to respond, try my gmail one too. Addie is on both the LJ and IJ profiles. Sorry for the trouble.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007



(9:06 am PT) - Telegram: I'm hot, how're you?
[link] - (indescribable)

I am not dead. stop.
Weather has been hell. stop.
No AC to keep comp cool. stop.
Will post more as wave breaks. stop.
Miss flist, hope you're all okay.

don't stop.

Saturday, August 18, 2007



(10:24 am PT) - older sure, wiser maybe, more mature, in your dreams
[link] - (indescribable)

o/`it's my birthday and I'll work if I want to... o/`

That is to say I gave my comp a gift and clean out his insides. Poor baby was filthy and running a high temp. I'm a bad comp mommy.

I owe stuff. I'm supposed to work on stuff. I need to write stuff. Do be a friend and suggest what I should do as I'm having a hard time focusing. Should I be helping you with your site still? Tell me, I may have forgotten what I was supposed to do next. Do I owe you a fic? Feel free to guilt trip me since I likely procrastinated or got distracted by 'ooh shiny!'. Honestly, I have a long list more than likely and just don't know which to start on.

Nothing much going on otherwise. Probably should install music generator on the comp and work on some music, but don't want to keep running it too hot, and the weather doesn't help.

A nap sounds good right about now. (Yes, I know my clock is reading 10:24. I have strange sleeping hours and woke up at 4 ish.)

Monday, August 13, 2007



(9:49 am PT) - extortion invades your pc
[link] - (indescribable)

This scares me only slightly. It mainly pisses me off the high heaven, low hell, and all parts in between.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20183184/site/newsweek/from/ET/

Thursday, August 09, 2007



(8:55 am PT) - random
[link] - (indescribable)

Topic the 1st: I'm about ready to pack up and leave far as LJ is concerned. (Which would basically mean just turning off the plugin in Nucleus.) I mean, I don't think I've ever directly or indirectly been in anything with this much drama in my entire 'net existence. Honestly, there's drama, there's wank, then there's LJ. It deserves it's own special standing.

Topic the 2nd: Cross your fingers for me, I see an auction with the entire Gambit 1 series run (25 issues). I know that would mean I wind up with a few early dupes (1-10, if that many), but that's perfectly fine with me. So yeah, I'm going to go for it, even if it means just pushing my usual monthly manga shopping back by a month. Not like the stuff ever comes out on time anyway. This leads to...

Topic the 3rd: slowly leaning back towards comicdom. I really only left because I didn't like what the then artist were doing to my lovely Cajun. But it's going to be a slow go since now it's the writers I'm pissed at. Really, did they have to hand him over to Apocalypse?

Topic the 4th: Need to finish layout for day view, then will get to installing it at IJ. But, anyone know of some (easy to understand) S2 programming tuts? Since some features simply aren't supported by S1, but I still want total layout control. Though I'll still use S1 if it's a choice of features to layout control.

Dom: Sorry, not been doing well far as being online in the afternoon. I'm usually asleep then. Hence why I said weekend. Think you'll be around?

Dear archivists: being one myself, I know how much trouble it can be for very little reward. That being said, if you insist on using an email contact for authors, please consider two things. 1: make sure you know which email they don't mind having a link to. Don't assume the email you might have talked to them through is one you can link to. 2: Use some sort of anti-spam code, even if it's nothing more than adding "NOSPAM" to the end of the addie. But there's other options. My personal favourite is this page for code obfuscation. Seems to work every time I've made use of it.

Think that's it for the moment. May have to cut this if it's too long, hard to tell when writing in a teeny textbox at Locuran.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007



(9:12 am PT) - huzzah
[link] - (indescribable)

Was bashing the LJ plugin at Nucleus to work with IJ too, so now posting here will post to both places for the time being. Eventually, may phase LJ out. And even if IJ doesn't work out, least I know I don't have to worry about Locuran.

I can see it now, I TOSs myself. ¬_¬

Reminder, if you emailed, say, 2-3 weeks ago or since or you were waiting for me to email you, hotmail wasn't playing nice. May have missed it. Likely I'll put up my alt gmail in my profile later to avoid this. (That would be locuran @)

Amberlee: I'll have to assume (hate that word) the email never made it to you. (Or I really had the wrong addie, but don't think so.)

Kalli: was waiting for opine before trying to move to front page instead of in the temp folder.

Mina: I have perfect icon in mind, just a matter of finding the picture. (Think the sumo wrestling sections...)

Gnome: Might be slow next couple of days.

Dom: Um, let me find those hidden room fees and I'll let you know, likely this weekend, me.

Now to finish layout will use at IJ. It's coming out flowery, but what do I expect when I'm working around a Meine Liebe pic?

Sunday, August 05, 2007



(3:28 pm PT) - Save me
[link] - (indescribable)

My house is under invasion. I have about 9 people too many in it, all family, none I really want to see. Feel free to send help... or shoot me, whichever one works for you.

Also, hotmail was flippy for a bit on me, so I might not have gotten a message. And I don't know if any I sent got through. So if you haven't heard from me about something, feel free to email me again.

Sunday, July 22, 2007



(10:02 pm PT) - I R Dork
[link] - (indescribable)

Sometimes while reading, especially fanfics, the writer will create a scene that I will actually research myself just to get a clearer picture in my head. An example, when reading a scene for a potc fic, I went looking for the diagram of the Pearl just to get an idea of where the characters were actually standing.

That said, my last fic research foray turned up this: knots. Some look rather interesting.

Yes, knots, interesting. I said it. Nyeh.

Saturday, July 21, 2007



(5:57 pm PT) - I'm not part of the crowd for once
[link] - (indescribable)

Dear HP fandom,
Thank you for wanking way more than any fandom of mine ever could.

Yours truly,
LN <= never read a single book, never saw a single movie

Monday, July 16, 2007



(7:49 am PT) - One week later...
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm free... FREEEEE BWA HA HA HAA! ::cough:: Anyway, that was my last AA class. I deserve a month off, IMO. Especially considering the last two classes were for a field I didn't want. But it's over. AA doesn't mean squat though, so will go for a BA, this time in a major I do want and can understand. (I swear if I read any mroe about IT networking and project planning I will scream.)

ANYway, hopefully I can focus on things I've neglected thanks to school. Need to write. Probably need to poke LJ a bit more. Considering a redesign, though for which site, I don't know. Definitely want to get started on Xmas crafts, and need to get rear off seat and work on that long start, dusty as hell writing project.

But first... I will celebrate with chocolate, yesss.

Monday, July 09, 2007



(8:25 am PT) - [insert something witty here]
[link] - (indescribable)

LJ wasn't playing nice with Locuran last time I tried posting. Let's see if it's gotten over itself.

One more week. Just one more week and I will be done with the AA's. I'm taking a month off. Must write. I have 2 VGYs left, then I must answer the call of the potc slashbunny. It's been a loud and untameable beast.

Yes, still random on chatting and stuff, (when am I not random?) Feel free topray for my immortal soul. (But I'm taking today off, I need it.)

Sunday, July 08, 2007



(2:09 am PT) - Bah
[link] - (indescribable)

Went to go help mum assemble a new futon. Was rough work so we waited until after sunset to do so. Those pieces were heavy and of course some of the wholes where the screws had to go in were not designed with the actual tool in mind. ?_? So once done I thought maybe I could catch a light nap.

Let it be known, I apparently do nothing lightly.

So imagine my dismay at waking up around 2am.

I do not win.

In school front, I think the instructor is MIA. With one assignment left before the final, this is the WRONG time to go missing.

Life: 1; LN -2

Wednesday, July 04, 2007



(8:59 pm PT) - Ways to tell RL is out to get me...
[link] - (indescribable)

...it gives me a migraine on the 4th, just as all the noise making fireworks start up.

Screw you too, Life.

Monday, June 25, 2007



(8:04 am PT) - 6 down, 3 to go
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm entering the 7th week of my last AA class before I work on the BA (in the right major this freakin' time). Counting this one, I have 3 weeks left, so if I get even more sporadic about posting/not posting and utterly random subjects, that would be why.

To those on my flist having a tough go of things, I truly am thinking of you, even if my brain is too scattered to make a worthy comment.

Thursday, June 21, 2007



(11:39 am PT) - Power of the right tool
[link] - (indescribable)

I am now the insane proud owner of an embossing heat tool, also if erroneously referred to as a heat gun.

I feel crafty.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007



(4:15 pm PT) - drink up me hearties, yo ho
[link] - (indescribable)

Me: ::shows mom craft pic:: I think I'll make these for Xmas this year. Slightly varied but essentially that. A candleholder with some slim beeswax candles perhaps.

Mom: Hmm, looks a bit piratey. Like treasure.

Me: Piratey? I wasn't trying to. ::gets painfully smacked with Inspiration:: Although that would be a cute theme with the cookies and all.

Mom: Yup.

So this year... blame mom. All I have to say about it.

edit: in case that link doesn't work, here's the project page. Just not interested in the snuffer per se.

Thursday, June 07, 2007



(9:15 pm PT) - Finally
[link] - (indescribable)

I have finally, freakin' finally seen PotC3, after much hemming, hawing, and hedging from other parties. Yeesh. Remind to plan things two weeks ahead of when I actually want to do them. Maybe then I'll get to do them on time.

ANYway, yes, loads better than 2. 2 was filler, I'm convinced of that. However, I want a director's cut. Some things just needed a bit more, IMO. But all in all, I enjoyed it. Well, could do without the obviously mushy bits between Will and Swan, who I admit I do not like. I'm just tired of a certain 'touch chick' type I have seen far too often in movies. Would like to break away from that. I mean, one can speak sensibly and not have to be tough about it, (Yuna FFX comes to mind). But I digress. I enjoyed it, was fun, and to Miry and Gnome, yes, I did see the special scene after the credits. ^^



(9:46 am PT) - randomness
[link] - (indescribable)

My flist is funny. Though Kalli had a point. There should always be a few days between Internet explosions for rest. (Least I like to think that.)

Bad bad bad night last night. A combination of eating dairy (I should know better) and stress. So I only managed an hour of sleep at best. Signs for a bad day.

Am now on the fourth PW:AA case. Actually have been there for awhile, but got distracted by the goofiness of Mario Party 8.

Reorganising today. DVDs are spilling into manga, manga's going all over the place. Yeah, must get the overflow back under control. (And seriously work on that backlog.) Speaking of Backlog, I'm still owing two vgy fics. Will start this weekend. Hopefully they'll be slightly easier, and more BL worthy, than my last Zelda fic. ( liked the fic, but it was more gen than BL.)

Well all these plans are contingent on my stomach cooperating, so hopefully it won't rebel or go on strike. ::crosses fingers::

Hmm, and finger reader on lappy not working. (Good thing I used the backup password feature to get in.) Hoping I won't have to take it in; don't have funds for repairs this month.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007



(4:04 pm PT) - ::puts up 'Away' sign::
[link] - (indescribable)

Going out for a bit, be back between 8ish to 9ish PDT. Don't let the Internetz explode without me.

Sunday, June 03, 2007



(8:22 am PT) - IJ and ToS
[link] - (indescribable)

I couldn't find an email, so I sent my concerns about the IJ ToS to the support boards. I'll let everyone know if/when I get an answer. I'm not as worried about them removing content thanks to what's on their front page, least for the time being.

My last post at Nucleus did not hit LJ it seems. (We are not surprised.) But as Dom and Gnome know, I have been corrupted. I am now playing Phoenix Wright. The dark side has embraced me. And Phoenix and Miles are /so doing each other.

Friday, June 01, 2007



(1:00 am PT) - Okay
[link] - (indescribable)

I admit it, i caved. I bought one of the Phoenix Wright games for the DS.Worse yet, it was a whim buy.

I'm so ashamed.

Thursday, May 31, 2007



(7:52 am PT) - o/` Blue moon o/`
[link] - (indescribable)

So, LJ news... no comment.

Anyway, while I haven't decided about continuing to pay, I have got a bead on a cheaper LJ-like service called InsaneJournal. Okay, I admit, not only do I like their pricing structure, ($10 a year, $30 for a permanent, $10 for permanent extra userpics, $5 for a rename token), but I like their themes. (We're patients, comms are asylums, the profile is your diagnosis...) However, after the chaos of Deletegate, I read over their ToS carefully. Here's the points I wanted opinions on before I decide to plop any more over there.

XI. TERMINATION
You agree that InsaneJournal.com, in its sole discretion, may terminate your password, journal, or account, and remove and discard any content within the Service, for any reason, including and without limitation, the lack of use, or if InsaneJournal.com believes that you have violated or acted inconsistently with the letter or spirit of the TOS. Any contracts, verbal or written or assumed, in conjunction with your deleted journal and all its parts, at InsaneJournal.com's discretion, will be terminated as well. InsaneJournal.com may also in its sole discretion and at any time, discontinue providing the Service, or any part thereof, with or without notice. You agree that any termination of your access to the Service under any provision of this TOS may be effected without prior notice, and acknowledge and agree InsaneJournal.com may immediately deactivate or delete your InsaneJournal.com journal and all related information and files. InsaneJournal.com reserves the right to bar any further access to such files or the Service. You agree that InsaneJournal.com shall not be liable to you or any third-party for any termination of your access to the Service. Paid accounts that are terminated will not be refunded.

Okay, nevermind they have the right to kill the account and/or change the ToS without prior notice, it's that 'lack of use' that concerns me the most. If I'm paying for it, even if I don't use it, I shouldn't be sacked.

XII. ADVERTISEMENTS AND PROMOTIONSz
InsaneJournal.com has decided to remove all banner advertisements and promotions on InsaneJournal.com journals. However, InsaneJournal.com reserves the right to run advertisements and promotions on the InsaneJournal.com service in the future. By using InsaneJournal.com, you agree that InsaneJournal.com has the right to run such advertisements and promotions with or without prior notice, and without recompense to you or any other user. The manner, mode and extent of advertising by InsaneJournal.com on your journal are subject to change. You agree that InsaneJournal.com shall not be responsible or liable for any loss or damage of any sort incurred as the result of any such dealings or as the result of the presence of such advertisers on the Service.

So basically they don't have ads now, but if they decide later, they can add them without prior notice. My biggest beef with this is it doesn't specify an account type, so by this even on a paid account they can run ads if they so choose.

XV. # JOURNAL CONTENT

Guidelines for posting to your online journal shall be as follows:

1. All Content posted to InsaneJournal.com in any way, is the responsibility and property of the author. InsaneJournal is committed to keeping the Service in decent standing for all audiences but is not responsible for the monitoring or filtering of any journal Content. Within the confines of international and local law, InsaneJournal.com will not place a limit on the type, or appropriateness of user content within journals. Those users posting material not suitable for all audiences must agree that they are fully responsible for all the content they have posted anywhere on the service. Should content be deemed illegal by such law having jurisdiction over the user, InsaneJournal.com is committed to submitting all necessary information to the proper authorities;
2. Should any Content be reported to InsaneJournal.com as being offensive or inappropriate, InsaneJournal.com might call upon the author to retract, modify, or protect (by means of private and friends only settings) the Content in question within a reasonable amount of time, as set forth by the InsaneJournal.com staff. Should the author fail to meet such a request from InsaneJournal.com staff, InsaneJournal.com has the full authority to terminate any such reported and verified offensive account holding such inappropriate content. InsaneJournal.com, however, is under no obligation to restrict or monitor journal Content in any way;
3. InsaneJournal.com claims no ownership or control over any Content posted by its users. The author retains all patent, trademark, and copyright to all Content posted within available fields, and is responsible for protecting those rights, but is not entitled to the help of the InsaneJournal.com staff in protecting such Content;
4. InsaneJournal.com reserves the right, without limitation except by law, to serve user Content on the web according to the security provisions set forth by the author. InsaneJournal.com also reserves the right, without limitation, to resell any portion of a user's InsaneJournal back to that individual;
5. You acknowledge that InsaneJournal.com does not pre-screen Content, but that InsaneJournal.com and its designates shall have the right (but not the obligation) on their sole discretion to refuse or remove any Content that is available through the Service. Without limiting the foregoing, InsaneJournal.com and its designates shall have the right to remove any content that violates the TOS or is otherwise objectionable. You agree that you must evaluate, and bear all risks associated with, the use of any content, including any reliance on the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of such content. Furthermore, InsaneJournal.com reserves the right to limit access to your journal, if found in violation of the TOS, by removing the journal and related user information from the member directory, search engine, and all other methods used in conjunction with finding InsaneJournal.com's users.

#2 is my beef, because of the wording. might also means might not.


XVI. MEMBER CONDUCT

You understand that all information, data, text, software, music, sound, photographs, graphics, video, messages or other materials, whether publicly posted or privately transmitted, are the sole responsibility of the person from which such Content originated. InsaneJournal.com does not control Content posted via the Service and, as such, does not guarantee the validity of such Content. You also understand that by using the Service, you may be exposed to Content that is offensive, indecent or objectionable. Should Content be found or reported to be in violation with, but not limited to, the following terms, it will be InsaneJournal.com's sole discretion as to what action should be taken.

You agree to NOT use the Service to:

1. Upload, post or otherwise transmit any content that is in InsaneJournal.com's opinion to be unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive to another's privacy (up to, but not excluding any address, email, phone number, or any other contact information with out the written consent of the owner of such information), hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable;
2. Harm minors in any way, as seen by InsaneJournal.com or applicable law...

Indecent or objectionable is ookay, vulgar and obscene is not. My question is where would fics with serious lemon scenes, including spectacular kinks, fall in.

I have no problem with 2 far as harming minors. I'd like some clarity on what 'as seen by...' means.


Depending, I might hit some of the comms I'm on to suggest it as an alternative. (Seriously depending though.)

Wednesday, May 30, 2007



(7:27 am PT) - Hn
[link] - (indescribable)

I see the Internet hasn't exploded while I was asleep. However, Kalli's post reminded me it's a blue moon tomorrow. I expect the explosion then.

Screw it, I'm going to see PotC3. Mom was in a definite down mood yesterday so if she's still in one, I'll go alone. Tis not the first time, and I was a distraction.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007



(7:20 pm PT) - There aren't enough swear words...
[link] - (indescribable)

...to convey my feelings on the current insanity of the Internet in general and LJ in particular.

Suffice it to say, what was originally thought to be just a rumour with coincidental timing to a DDoS attack is in fact true. Well in truth, the original rumour didn't quite line up to the truth, as the DDoS attack was what made it hard to login and post to LJ, but the part about a watchdog (maddog is more like it) group reporting comms and acounts to the abuse team based on interest 'keywords' is turning out to be true. I think the main to flags are incest and shota, though it's probably a lot more.

At this point I'd like to interject my opinion on this being less likely to have occurred before Six Apart showed up. I may very well be wrong about that, but it's how I feel.

Anyway, I'm not locking my journal mainly because I post through this one anyway save for some locked post. I'll back it up, however, so I don't lose anything. (Soon as I find a good backup tool.) But for comms, just kill the interest lists, IMO, and lock it up. That's probably the best bet.

Oh yes, and paid accounts for LJ? Well the quickest way to get any business to listen to the masses in via the wallet, so reconsider paying any more until this is resolved in a satisfactory manner. (Mass deletion doesn't count as satisfactory.)

For likely one of the easier to follow posts about this, I'd say start here: http://liz-marcs.livejournal.com/266024.html.

Would someone tell the Internet to kindly take a time out though? We just got off the FanLib thing as I recall.

Saturday, May 26, 2007



(8:54 am PT) - ouch
[link] - (indescribable)

Concert was great, though little disappointed with Miyavi's set. (DJ MIX) alice nine. topped, though now interested in Kagrra as that was the first act. Actually I'll likely look into all the acts I didn't know, they were all really good. Poor brother, having never gone to a rock concert before, was unaware of the volume decibels a rock concert can reach. I think he finally gt his hearing back a couple hours after it ended. Me myself, I'm still in a dazed state. Takes me a few to get back to normal when I go to these events. Rock or orchestra, if the experience is moving in some form, I'll always take a while to return to earth.

Will reply to comments a little later, probably going to go back to sleep since we didn't get in until after 1 thanks to a slowpoke sib. We are so getting our own car this year.

(Oh, the subject? It's because right now I am royally stiff. And why did I get a charlie horse at one point in the concert? Have taken motrin, am waiting for it to work.)

Friday, May 25, 2007



(9:43 am PT) - Change in plans
[link] - (indescribable)

Brother woke up late, complained of headache last night. I explained there wasn't a guarantee for the pit passes, so we will not be trying. I'm perfectly alright with this in truth. I don't need to be so close I'm feeling the guys' sweat flinging off or anything. Cameras aren't allowed anyway and I don't have one of those types of cells.

(Actually, I don't have a cell, and will be getting one, so recs are welcomed, including whether I should go for a family plan or pay-as-you-go.)

So we're still going, but I won't be sitting there all day as planned. C'est la vie. Works out anyway as I FINALLY finished a horrifically overdue VGY prompt. (Soon as I've posted, I'll only be behind by two, yay!) Course it sorta kinda ignored the pairing the prompt called for, but I think it holds to the prompt itself. (Really, I should have not taken it, but I was damn well going to finish it once I committed.) Well I doubt if the original prompter likes it, but I'm just happy I saw the thing through.

Randomly, the family and I were talking about music boxes. Now I'm on the hunt for a music box with the Super Mario Bros music. It just has to exist.



(7:05 am PT) - Away away
[link] - (indescribable)

Going to be gone for most of the day. (Not that I think I'm doing anything indispensable.) I wouldn't leave so early for a concert but they're handing out pit passes on a first come first serve, and the brother wants to try for them. (If I see a line of 250 already I'm turning around and waiting like a normal person.)

Anyway, may try and log on when I'm back, but it will be late so I doubt anyone will be around. Don't destroy the Internet while I'm gone. (Because I want to have a hand in that if anyone does.)

Sunday, May 20, 2007



(11:24 pm PT) - optical illusion
[link] - (indescribable)

I forgot about this particular optical illusion. Oh, I'd seen it before some years ago, but forgot the name. Of course I'm sharing, though I'm pretty sure most of you will remember it soon as you see it. So here it is, optical illusion: rotating snake.

Saturday, May 19, 2007



(5:24 pm PT) - Sony's got to be feeling the pain
[link] - (indescribable)

You know it's pretty bad when the GBA, a system that I believe is officially dead, outsells the PS3.

I kid you not.

Thursday, May 17, 2007



(2:31 pm PT) - More on comm handling
[link] - (indescribable)

So I just found out what happened to the comm I mentioned back on the 15th.

"the former maintainer of LoD, has lost interest with both the pairing and the Saiyuki fandom in general. She believed that as the creator of the community, it was her right to delete it as she saw fit and that if others wanted to continue, a new community would have to be made"

Nevermind the rudeness factor, but it made me realise one point that I didn't address in the other post. And it makes much sense now that I think about it. If the person who created teh comm is the only one posting content to it, then yes, it's theirs, they can (be rude and) delete however they want. But if it's a comm where members have posted content, I don't feel it is solely the admin's comm any more. At the very least, allow people to save stuff from it before getting rid of it. Yes, everyone knows better than to leave the only copy of something up on a comm just because incidents like this can happen. But what about the case of HD failure or data loss? It wasn't intentional, but that copy turn into the only one around for the creator. There might be the off chance someone else saved it, so if the person goes looking for it again, there may actually be a copy for them to get again. But this person, no, she couldn't even give members that much consideration.

Comm creators want to form groups, (usually large/popular) of people with similar interests. Well, members want comms that are going to be reliable. Incidents like this will only make people leery of joining a comm and make it harder for honest and more reliable creators to get people to join.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007



(11:33 pm PT) - Just because I like BL doesn't mean I hate women
[link] - (indescribable)

Okay, yet another peeve, one I'm only realising today in truth, though it's been bugging me for awhile.

Now as fic writers, I can understand writing about female characters that come off as annoying in a less than flattering light. But is it a case of they are annoying unto themselves, or just that because they are female they are annoying? If it's the latter, think about that a moment, given most BL writers are in fact female.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being female. Nothing. Period. Notta thing. And the annoyance of a character shouldn't be based on the gender. Case in point, I like Lirin from Saiyuki, she's funny. I dislike the Empress, she is evil incarnate. I would feel the same if the only difference were the gender, that is, if the personalities were the same but they were male instead.

Moving onto referring to women in general in a fic, and not a specific character, again, think carefully. Most readers of BL are female. Many are young, some still trying to figure things out in their heads after the insanity of puberty and all. So is it really absolutely necessary to point out how undesirable, either physically or emotionally, women as a whole are just to get the guys together? I'd like to think not.

In short, I don't think casting women in a negative light is needed simply to justify an mm pairing. Isn't it a better ability to get the pairing together without that old and tired crutch?

(Though this does not apply to annoying characters as mentioned before. But the annoyance factor again should not be based solely or mostly on the gender aspect of the chatacter.)



(7:29 pm PT) - delete versus handing over
[link] - (indescribable)

When a community, ml, forum, or any other such grouped networking is established, whether it's popular or not, I think as the mod/admin of such a group, when that person no longer feels like keeping it going, they should at least offer it to someone else before just up and deleting it without any word. I found this has just happened to a comm I was watching. No word, no rhyme, no reason, just bam, deleted.

HelLO, a simple post saying 'I'm no longer interested, someone want to take over?' is not that hard. And if there are no takers, you can't say you didn't warn anyone when you do delete.

I know better than anyone admins and mods of such groups don't necessarily owe anyone anything, but is common courtesy really so dead? If one made the effort of creating a place where other people with similar interests can talk about it, to me it's both rude and upsetting when that place is suddenly gone with no reason whatsoever. (Probably one of the reasons I don't just take down old sites I've abandoned.)

But again, if one has stated that yes, they are tired and want to move on but will hand it over, and nobody takes them up on the offer, then feel free to delete. That wasn't the case with this comm, however, considering it was on my flist. (A locked post of the matter would have made the point moot, IMO.)

Even if one doesn't owe the members of a group anything, it's still just polite to let them know before taking such an action.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007



(11:33 am PT) - I'm slowly chipping at the shackle
[link] - (indescribable)

So I've been feeling more than a little guilty as well as creatively blocked because I have 3 WAY overdue VGY fics. The main one causing the block is an LoZ fic. I kept saying I'd write one day, I'd write this day. This day for sure... but of course that wasn't getting me anywhere.

Last night, for reasons I suppose only my subconscious will ever understand, I decided to make myself a note. Courier New font at 26 pt, with key words in red. I made this note and left it as the open window before turning off my monitor. This morning, having forgotten the note, the first thing I see is a list of three things (one being optional) I absolutely must do before I fall asleep as I'm wont to do in the afternoon. The first was hang up some clothes that had been all over my treadmill. The second was write at least one paragraph for previously mentioned fic. The last, (which is optional) was answering the DQ in class today. Since it's optional, I'm opting to leave it for later. ^^ But, I did manage the first two things on the list. Actually, the one paragraph has turned into a semi-strong opening for the whole fic, and is more than just the one paragraph. Not finished. No way is finished, but once something is started, finishing it becomes a bit easier. So that fic will be done fairly soon, though I won't commit to an exact date. That will leave 2 others that I think I'll have a slightly easier time writing.

I wonder if I can psyche myself out for the other unfinished fics I have sitting around?

Thursday, May 10, 2007



(10:10 am PT) - the masochist in me would like to
[link] - (indescribable)

My only regret for June, as far as my inner masochist is concern, is that I don't know how to write a screenplay.



(7:04 am PT) - School = #@$%&
[link] - (indescribable)

I was expecting a C in my networking class, considering that 1: I missed two weeks thanks to Axia taking too long to get back to me, and 2: I was never quite able to catch up properly to understand the material. Plus I admit to not really doing my best since it was a class I never intended to take.

I didn't get a C, however. I got something less. So of course I checked with the instructor, then after a few emails realised that during a time of crisis on his part, HE failed to grade an assignment completely, so marked me as 0 for it, despite my having turned it in. Of course I'm asking for a grade adjustment.

Add to this I got another letter to pay my tuition balance even though my financial counsellor said it was an internal problem at this point. I called him on Tuesday, it is now Thursday without my call being returned.

I'm holding up a big one so they can sit and twirl on it. But all in all I'm not externally upset, and even internally, it's hitting me as no more than a mild annoyance. I am beginning to wonder about being emotionally crippled in my ability to feel much these days.

On the financial front, this month is looking ugly. And I haven't even gotten my manga yet. So of course I haven't made any progress for getting ready con-wise other than the usual shuttling of funds over to paypal. But least I did that, and all major bills paid. I just consider my monthly manga allotment critical to retaining sanity.

Speaking of manga, anyone hear if/when TS2 is supposed to come out? Seems like TS1 has been out forever now.

Saturday, May 05, 2007



(12:07 am PT) - Fic reading peeve
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm usually a decent supporter of new writers. Everyone was new after all. If luck is with us, we grow, adapt, and evolve. So I don't mind reading some less than stellar stuff in the hopes that the writers will continue and eventually find their own voice.

That said, however, there is now one sure-fire way to make me stop reading a work and never return. So, dear gentle writers...

Would you PLEASE stop putting ANs in the middle of the #@$%@&! story!

Goddess! I don't need to know something is referencing your first story, since I can tell if you say 'sequel to ___' very easily. I don't need to know ___ is your original character, you can tell me before or after if you have to, because trust me, I'm likely only reading fandoms I'm familiar with and I KNOW who the canon characters are. I don't need to know how you find a particular word amusing, go put that on your blog. And finally, I do not, repeat, absolutely do NOT need a running commentary. This is not a DVD. Save your comments for the footnotes, because I do not want them.

Do. Not. Want.

And the problem is it's become a freakin' epidemic. Writers, consider when you're reading a book. How would it stop your brain if you found author notes in the middle, breaking up a pivotal scene? It would kill the flow. I can't immerse myself in the story anymore because I have been forcefully yanked back into reality with something that could have waited to the end, if not have been left out entirely. It adds nothing to the story, and only ensures I won't be coming back.

::breathes:: I'm fine, really. Now there are exceptions to this, usually (if not only) for parody works, humour, breaking the fourth wall, et cetera. But then the entire story should be in that kind of style from start to fin. If the fourth wall is broken when I begin reading, I will know what to expect throughout the remainder of the story.

This doesn't include and isn't related to POV changes, mind you. Moving from third to first or vice-versus is a different matter entirely.

Anyway, ANs in the middle of your story? Kills it dead for me. And no CPR is going to bring it back as long as it's in there.

Oh, and one last note, don't tell me how to read the story. No, really, don't. If you can't guide my reading within the story itself then consider a rewrite. And don't tell me the obvious stuff either. And for hell's sake, do not give me the definition of a word that isn't a reference to something that needs a footnote. I know very well how to use a dictionary. Yes, you can tell me that ___ is the third goddess of the second pantheon of whatever religion you're basing it off of. Yeah, that's noteworthy. However, even on the off chance that I didn't know what words like suspicious and genuine mean, I can look them up on my own. Giving me the definition (in the middle of the story no less) proves only one thing to me: you yourself have just learned the word or found it in a thesaurus. Do not presume all your readers are idiots. (Because believe me, the real idiots will make themselves known, loudly.)

Saturday, April 28, 2007



(6:56 pm PT) - I am not surprised...
[link] - (indescribable)

So, one 1400 word essay due today on a subject I got nothing on. Have 250 words written last night, decide to pace myself at 250 an hour and just write 1500 total. I have to keep the number per hour small because I'm easily distracted and have no focus. That leaves me with 5 hours spread throughout the day to get it done. This was a 8am this morning. By noon I had 750 words, which was half the essay. I was now down to three hours. I figured with luck I'd be through before 6.

I didn't count on, and had no idea that orbital relatives I haven't seen (and in some cases didn't want to see) in years decide to have an impromptu reunion... here. Today.

A place that only comfortably houses 3 adults and is not child proof was playing host to 4 adults, 2 teens, and 2 kids. (I could be wrong, one of those teens might be a young adult.) Okay, mind you, my cousin James' kids I like. The 12-year old is cool, the 14-year old actually disciplined thanks to ROTC. (Not that he's considering services for a career, to which I can't say I'm sorry.) Among the adults, James has mellowed considerably, yet is still amusing. The others are okay. But my cousin Tracy's 8-year old I'd sincerely like to shove into a cauldron, set the fire going, and make a stew with.

It wasn't a bad time all in all, but dammit, did they have some sort of essay radar and make it their mission in life to come and disrupt mine? Couldn't that have kept until Memorial Day or something?

Though a piece of interesting news did fall into my lap as a result. Interesting the way one finds mould interesting for a few seconds. Seems my aunt was under the impression that some time before my late sperm-donor passed away, he tried to reach out to me, and I rebuffed him. This would be around when he came back after running to Arkansas to escape a warrant I believe, so that would put me at 25 at the time. Anyway, I only raised an eyebrow at that. I know she couldn't have gotten the idea on her own, and I know she sometimes communicates with that branch. My theory, he started yabbering about my rejecting him soon as he heard about my name change.

That evil laughter of sweet ironic and poetic justice you hear in the background is probably me.

To RP group, will make very best of efforts to post tonight. Truth, I only have 200+ words left, but I'm having trouble getting some decent VPN specs listed.

Friday, April 27, 2007



(2:54 pm PT) - For the curious...
[link] - (indescribable)

It's finals week. I have 2 essays due before Sunday, though really one is overdue and I'm going to write it up today. The second is a culmination of the previous essays so I'll just need to reword it so it flows as one complete piece. But basically, yeah, finals = spazz. Doesn't help that the financial office is majorly fucking up and I don't even know where I stand at this point. Push to shove I'll report them on unshady business practices, because it really has been just that. I start with one financial counsellor, then go through 3 others before I can blink, and somewhere in there they forget to tell me when I'm supposed to submit more documentation which I can't do on my own since I never know where to send it to in the first place. And now they say I'm responsible? Don't think so. But anyway.

Need to get a toaster oven, as I have polymer clay. I have seen many tuts for pic transfers to clay, and I want to try making some of my LJ icons into pendants. For I am dorky like that. Also want to try making my own beads and see how that goes.

To those who have a Wii, soon as finals are over Ill hook up my crappy ass router and send my Wii address out. Need a Mii parade, definitely. Also need a new router. Do not buy Belkin, ever.

Sunday, April 15, 2007



(5:18 pm PT) - meme
[link] - (indescribable)

I haven't done posted one of these in awhile. A long while. Yoinked from Ronda

Short, terse, unfriendly,
Yet sometimes quite emotive;
I am the Haiku.

What Poetry Form Are You?


That's the one I was given. I'm shocked because I hardly ever like my natural choice on these things, but I do here.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007



(8:32 pm PT) - dental
[link] - (indescribable)

I have a dental appointment come tomorrow.

Feel free to pray for my (im)mortal soul.



(9:16 am PT) - web comic, I should pay more attention
[link] - (indescribable)

In other news, I really don't read enough web comics. This is usually because either there's no rss feed or I can't find one, and I art lazy. Actually, it's just I have a bad memory and forget to visit a place.

However, when I do find one I like and it has a feed, it's a different story. And am open to suggestions.

So, who holding out with Looking for Group? ^^



(8:34 am PT) - Jenova's Witness
[link] - (indescribable)

This is for con people if you're interested in doing this.

Back on Gnome's board some people were talking about Jenova's Witness shirts. Mind you, I don't go to VGcats that often, though I remember that strip. Anyway, Gnome and I didn't much think about the shirts since we didn't know much about them and promptly forgot.

Fastforward to today, while randomly visiting VGcats, I found said shirt, realising it was inspired by that comic. So Gnome and I decided we're getting ourselves one to wear to the con, and are sharing the links with anyone else who might want to do the same. Heck, even if you're not hitting the con, you might still want the shirt. (Unless you have it and this is old news. Remember, I don't go to VGcats too often.)

Anyway, the links
regular - http://www.zestuff.com/vgcats/apparel/92/
ladies - http://www.zestuff.com/vgcats/apparel/98/

Pass the idea and links along to anyone you know hitting ycon, or just might not know and want the shirt.

(Admittedly, this may be old news, but Gnome and I want to wear them at con moreso than anything.)

Sunday, April 01, 2007



(6:50 pm PT) - That day...
[link] - (indescribable)

April Fools... I got nuthin. Nope, sorry, no jokes here.

Anyway, I was seriously going to buy the complete KH soundtrack. Seriously, I figured my bills, even with the polymer clay supplies that's running me a good chunk at 120. I could have done it and still been pretty safe. But then I looked at the track listing.

It ain't complete.

Yes, I'm well aware of all the negative and neutral feelings regarding English all the world over when it comes to anything remotely related to Japanese things. However, as it's my money, it's my opinion that matters for this purchase, and unless I see Sanctuary on there, I'm not shelling out that much money. I'm willing to let Simple and Clean go, but not Sanctuary. Not gonna happen. I noticed some blank spaces, so maybe it's in one of those, but I doubt it. So no soundtrack for me. Not bummed, really. Just saves me money in the end, which I'll likely spend on a DS game anyway.

Friday, March 30, 2007



(11:24 pm PT) - Damn you, Squeenix
[link] - (indescribable)

complete KH soundtrack, I mean really complete.

Sad thing is I'm already figuring out my numbers to get this by next month if it's out then.

Thursday, March 29, 2007



(11:39 am PT) - DMC anime
[link] - (indescribable)

So, DMC is being made into an anime. While mildly excited, from what I saw, I'm also perturbed. I noted both Trish and Lady, who by rights shouldn't be in the same time given the games, yet I didn't see Lucia from DMC2. Yes, I have a lot of problems with this. I liked her, and she looked a hell of a lot better than either one of the above. Finally, she was playable, which alone makes her useful.

I may be jumping the gun since it was only a trailer, but if she's not in it, I will be highly displeased.

Sunday, March 18, 2007



(5:39 pm PT) - emu to emo
[link] - (indescribable)

Waaah ha ha haaa. I have PSX emulashuuuuuuun!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to play some PSX games I never owned, but rather I want to play games I don't feel like hunting down the discs for. Which currently would be BoF3, SotN, and maybe FF 7 and 8, depending on how I feel. The CPU runs pretty hot, but I don't think much more than running a flash game, so should be okay.

Now to see if I can get PS2 emu, again just because I are the lazy and don't always feel like hunting down the discs. Though I might put PS2 emu on lappy, just have to see.

This slightly geeky post brought to you by the shits and giggles of seeing BoF3 on my monitor.



(8:59 am PT) - pet food recall
[link] - (indescribable)

This popped up on Snopes. Pet owners on flist may want to read, though I think it's mainly NA that's affected.

http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/menu.asp

Tuesday, March 13, 2007



(5:05 pm PT) - The postman brings presents
[link] - (indescribable)

Kalliiiieeee~! Have gotten package. The George Foreman EasyBake Oven Grill known as a PS3 dared me to try it, so I flipped it the bird and dusted off PS2. (Then realised it's something braindead me might need a guide for, which I'm going to get today if possible.) Anyway, am much enjoying it, thankies! ♥

Monday, March 12, 2007



(9:45 am PT) - school situation
[link] - (indescribable)

So, about being in the wrong degree. Here's what happened. Visual Communication they claim is a recent program they just started offering. However, I was under the impression the classes in that program were, (at the time I enrolled), at least covered in my current program. (Way to give students a choice.) She wanted me to go ahead and finish the AA but just switch up for the BA. Plus, and the most painful part, I'll have to pay 200 for the classes I'm already in.

But, how can I justify continuing classes I honestly don't have a good concept of in a field I never fully intended to enter in the first place? Maybe I can get a B, but honestly, that's one big Maybe. I'd rather pay, however difficult, and get an A I understand, than risk failing in something I don't if I have the choice. (Like my always dodging a history class because I don't like history, but so long as I have a humanities class somewhere, I'll be okay.)

Yes, coming up with nearly 200, big ouch. But better that then a permanent bad grade on my record if I can avoid it.

Sunday, March 11, 2007



(3:38 pm PT) - I breathe... hot air
[link] - (indescribable)

I am alive, and (unfortunately) so is the rest of my family. Little to be done about that, least and not feel (slightly) regretful later.

I also have a new chair... that looks exactly like my old one in a different colour, but hey, that chair lasted a few good years before an improperly installed bolt broke. I blame myself; I didn't get the bolt in right when I put it together. This time I had mom help, so maybe I'll get a few good years on this chair too.

School news: found out I may be in the completely wrong degree program. I wanted Information Technology: Visual Communications. I think I just have Information Technology, period. Not good. Means I likely took a few classes I didn't need... like that damn Java one.

Speaking of that, did get an A-, only because I think I was one of very few who actually turned in the final. That and she likely had to grade on a curve. Well I understood the material, and if she hadn't been so [censored] and given me the incomplete like I asked for, I could have done better since she was the one who didn't answer my questions in a timely manner, but I'll let it slide.

DST in effect, against my will mind you. (Yes, yes, that is a very arrogant sounding statement.) I dun like it. But I like the heat we're now getting even less. Darn you, government. Scientists tried to warn you about global warming. Morons.

Hm, do I have any good news to keep this from sounding totally pissy. Not really. I'm terribly behind in many VGY prompts. I'm hoping to get a chance to work on at least one tonight. Oh, I do have one understanding instructor who's letting me off the hook a little with assignments after I explained the possible goof up. Hm, not much else. Just the usual random reading, reorganising, and buying way too much manga. Yeah, not a great big change in the status quo here. But, on the flip side, no great negative things to report, either. (I won't consider the possible degree thing negative if the school is cooperative in helping to fix it, i.e. changing my courses without me paying for it.)

Monday, March 05, 2007



(9:19 pm PT) - naked post
[link] - (indescribable)

So, once many moons ago, I made a post... in the nude. Yes yes, was very risque of me, I know. Well, I'm doing it again, only this time with a bit extra. This is: Nude Post 2: Jewellery Edition!

^_^
~_^
^o^
=^_^=
n_n

Yes yes, I'm in the buff, wearing jewellery. Why? Because Ronda's package arrived today and had many a sparklies. I have just finished a shower, and figured "why not!" (Plus I'm impatient and clothes take too long.)

Be on the look out for Nude Post 3: Posting Nude with Food!

Monday, February 19, 2007



(11:22 pm PT) - I breathe... slightly
[link] - (indescribable)

This time the silence is not my fault or my desire. I'm hitting crunch time with the Java class. I don't know, I might have to go for an incomplete. I'd say pray for me, but I know I'm pretty much damned as it is. So yeah, really sporadic for the rest of the week, but still reading everything.

Saturday, February 03, 2007



(10:32 am PT) - Better
[link] - (indescribable)

More or less okay. Thanks for the comments, everyone. Just still playing catchup, especially in school. Hate java, and I hate this other class. Information system management or something. Gah. Don't like it, doubt if I'll ever use anything I learn in it. Hn.

Second batch of packages will be completed and sent no later than Monday. (Yes, my luck is such I'm even late for Groundhog's Day. Go me.)

Miry, hope you're feeling better on your end. Hope to grab you soon. Moonie, email was finally sent. Sorry about that.

Only bright thing to those sick days was finishing Hotel Dusk. Thing has more twists than a candy cane. My logical side says all decent looking males in this are 100% straight. Of course my pervert side is totally ignoring this. I've gotten her under control, least for now. Do wish it had more than the one ending. Oh well, can't have everything.

Back to work, tra la la. Gnome, missed you yesterday. Will try and catch you tonight, ya?

Friday, February 02, 2007



(8:25 am PT) - Ugh
[link] - (indescribable)

So yesterday, yeah, complete waste. No school work done, no late VGY fic done, no work on second batch of boxes that were supposed to be shipped. Just, nada. Don't like getting sick. It is the suckage. However, I'm about 80-85% today, so I get to play catch up. Huzzah. It's just a lot to get through, though I get there somehow.

Sunday, January 28, 2007



(12:38 am PT) - four paws filter
[link] - (indescribable)

So yeah, really infrequent posting from me. Not because there isn't anything going on, but nothing I feel is really post worthy. However, I get some eclectic thoughts running through my head. I used to just post, but I've been keeping them to myself. Only I think they want out. But I don't know how much sense some of them will make. So in an effort to keep random weirdness in its place, I'm making a four paws to the sun filter. (Named so after funny/cute kitty pic from Ronda.) Just comment if you don't mind a little (probably infrequent) madness on the flist.

Friday, January 26, 2007



(8:25 pm PT) - Randomly...
[link] - (indescribable)

I hate java.

That is all.

Sunday, January 21, 2007



(8:52 am PT) - The power of the Cough Syrup
[link] - (indescribable)

I had good intentions. Very very good intentions. I was going to reply to email and hit AIM for Gnome. I was going to post some late assignments at school and work on late prompt. I had the whole night planned. However, I made a fatal mistake with an unknown formula.

Robitussen + LN = Dead to the WORLD

So all my good intentions went up in smoke. Sheesh. I'll go for non-drowsy next time.

In unrelated and unsurprising news, I hate Java. And I'm not too fond of instructors who, instead of helping me find the flaw with a given program, give me a completely new program and just say "try that". Um, how does that teach me about the mistake I'm making? Short answer, it doesn't. Fortunately with a stroke of dumb luck and Google, I found the problem myself. But I still hate Java.

Friday, January 19, 2007



(8:05 am PT) - Ugh
[link] - (indescribable)

Okay, what I thought was a cold turned into a flu and floored me. So I know I'm behind on many many things. Feel free to poke prod smack remind me of anything if you want.

Not 100% yet, but feeling better than milk-curdled death. Maybe I can try and find inspiration for this late prompt.

A little PS3 followed the M-unit home, after it brutally assaulted my wallet. Go fig. I already prefer the Wii, it's light-weight and cute. This thing is heavy and monstrous. Damn you Squeenix, Konami, and Capcom, you're the reason for this.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007



(8:49 pm PT) - Blargh
[link] - (indescribable)

I live, just irritated. I was all set to have things shipped today, but as I get to printing the last labels, I run out of black ink. This in and of itself wouldn't be a problem, but I couldn't find the syringe to refill the cartridge. That is a problem. Grar. So now I wait until tomorrow.

I always knew I wouldn't get along with Java if I were ever to learn it. Now that I'm in a Java class, my intuition is proving correct.

This last VGY prompt is proving elusive. I don't know why. Will try and focus on it tomorrow to the exclusion of all else.

Also need to post a couple of things over to Yville.

On gaming horizon: Hotel Dusk. I need a good mystery for my DS.

Lastly, I know I have a DMC dj coming. I can feel it. That and I sent the money order off a few days ago. Mmm, devil smut.

Likely I will be in better mood once I have sent things out and no longer feel guilty about being late.

Friday, December 29, 2006



(2:52 pm PT) - I'm alive...
[link] - (indescribable)

I just haven't been home very much this week, which is a feat in and of itself. Mainly only to finish up gifts for sending, (Groundhog's day gifts, I swear), and to sleep. I keep up with email and flist, but haven't really been replying. Where have I been? Nowhere special, really. Library and bookstores for the most part.

New Firehouse should be out sometime today. That works, I could use some good DMC smut in my life.

Hope everyone's okay. Nothing planned for me on Sunday, so will probably just play or read something. (Unless others are staying home to make drunk posts to LJ, then I may join.)

If I'm supposed to be doing anything, (besides VGY fic that I need to finish by tomorrow), remind me now.

Monday, December 25, 2006



(10:12 am PT) - Sheesh, once again they prove clueless
[link] - (indescribable)

As with my bday, my family proves they really don't pay attention to things I like or do. Before I begin, yes, I know it's the thought that counts, and I'll probably sound ungrateful. I'm not. And it's not even that I dislike what I got, it's just the idea of how little they know me that I'm more annoyed with.

Let's see, M-unit got a watch from S-unit, because she has been constantly borrowing mine to the point that I was planning on just getting myself a new one. B-unit got her a small electronic organizer, because the previous one which we all called her brain had died. I gave her what she asked for, even if she forgot, which was a food vacuum sealer.

S-unit hasn't arrived yet, but she's getting Christmas panties, because she is sorely in need, and a bottle of Ghost Myst from me, because again I had something that my family, (in this case, her) kinda helped themselves to so much that I had to replace it.

B-unit got the Tag fragrance he likes, (I didn't know there was a difference), and a pretty sweet leather coat which he really seemed happy to have. (M-unit and I went in half to get it.)

Me - A bra and a Disney Robin Hood DVD. Both because of toss-away comments made by myself. When I mentioned the bra, it wasn't a hint, it was a reminder to myself to get it in January when all the holiday stuff was over. The Robin hood thing? Again, toss away. "I remember that. It had a song I liked. I should get that." I meant I should get the song, not necessarily the DVD.

It just drives me crazy, because hello, I have stacks of anime and manga in clear view in my room. Perhaps, oh, a gc to Barnes and noble then? Or even better, ask me. I asked the M-unit, I asked the B-unit. I assumed with the S-unit, but c'mon, she practically took my entire bottle of Ghost Myst when I had it. If that's not a good indication of liking it, I don't know what is.

And I know this sounds very whiney, but it's not the gifts so much as me wishing they would at least try to make an effort and learn what I really like. It's not that hard, I have evidence in plain sight in my room. To be fair, the B-unit did ask me if there was something I wanted, (Nintendo USB WiFi connector), but he ran out of money, so I didn't get it. The bra came from the M-unit, and the DVD from the S-unit, after a suggestion from the M-unit.

Really, I do have to wonder if they are just royally that unobservant, or filter me out when I'm talking to such a degree that when they do listen, what they think is important isn't really. I've complained about bras before, and I bought them the following month. I've made off-handed comments about movies, but I never get them because I'm not that into collecting movies per se. So I'm just honestly baffled why they thought I would want these as gifts.


Family. They hurt my brain. Really.

Saturday, December 23, 2006



(3:44 pm PT) - It's a tropical paradise
[link] - (indescribable)

I just finished melting and molding all the soaps, and scenting the shower gel.

I swear my hands will forever smell like one big Hawaiian garden for the rest of the month.



(8:06 am PT) - ::peeks out::
[link] - (indescribable)

Is Xmas over yet? ::flops:: If only. Crunch time around here, hence the silence. Need to finish making things myself, even if sendings are going to be late.

Good thing this is only once a year. Actually, I vote for once every four years. Gah. Medic. ::flops again::

Thursday, December 21, 2006



(3:06 pm PT) - A moment
[link] - (indescribable)

The place smells of cinnamon, cloves, a hint of nutmeg, vanilla, and orange. But not overpowering. Just a gentle after scent on the air.

The classical station is playing 'O Come, O Come' Emmanuel' by Christmas Goes Baroque.

The ever late tree is up and decorated, and all gifts are wrapped and placed.

Best of all, I'm alone. I'm considering a cup of chamomile tea.

I won't say life is good, but the quiet moments are to be savoured.

Monday, December 18, 2006



(8:05 am PT) - Sorry
[link] - (indescribable)

To anyone who was looking for me yesterday, I was playing on again, off again on the comp most of the day. I don't think my emails were going through, either, since I was trying to warn that I probably wouldn't be around as a result. Seems fixed now, but who's to say.

Friday, December 15, 2006



(5:06 pm PT) - Will not throttle... will not throttle
[link] - (indescribable)

So things have actually gotten--interesting--around here. I wasn't going to post much, but if I don't get this one off me, I will very easily shoot my sister.

Mom has been complaining of being exhausted, out of breath, and slightly dizzy. Given she's got heart problems, and the symptons differ from men and women on a heart attack, I called her doctor yesterday to get his opinion. He said take her in. I call my sister since she's the only one with a car, (you don't take a bus in mom's condition, and the closest hospital by ambulance is crappy). I would have gone, but sister didn't feel like having to come back, even though she did because I too was having troubles and asked her to pick up some Robitussen, (and got charged $10, but whatever). So mom was seen and kept overnight. This was yesterday.

Today I get the room number. Now we have problem number one, because my sister called first, but while she called 411 for the hospital number, she didn't think to write it down and share it with us, so I have to call 411 myself. Plus while she gave me the room number, she forgot to tell me bed A or B. Fine, whatever, so long as I see how mom's doing.

Mom wants out. I know how she feels, but I also know she's in the best place if something flukey goes wrong. Sure, I want her home too, but only when her doctor okays it.

Cut to later today, and a second chat with mom, in which she asks me to call my sister. Mom can't call her directly, so I play relay and tell her to call mom. As a general rule, I don't talk to my sister for extended periods. If she's not pissing me off, she's gossiping about people I don't give a rat's ass about. In this case, it turns out to be the former, because she goes on to say, (out the clear blue sky), how mom can't be doing what she's doing anymore, lugging groceries home on the bus, et cetera. I tried to point out that 1: I don't ask mom to lug home a 24 pack of pepsi, as was one of the examples. 2: Nobody can really tell mom what to do. She admitted to me she prefers doing it because she feels she still has the ability. (If I could tell her how to behave, I wouldn't have to deal with her cigarettes, after all.) But basically, my sister, who conveniently forgets how she constantly borrows money from us and charges us up the ass for any car ride, is lecturing me, now, with mom in the hospital.

I'm ready for a sibling divorce. Seriously. Her only worth to me has been her car, but it's too expensive anyway. Some of my crafting supplies are coming late because, instead of asking her for a ride, I knew ordering them would be easier and cheaper. I'm tired of her. And not like we have anything in common. We don't. Not one blessed thing outside of sharing a mother.

The only reason I'm going to bother with her gift still is because I already bought it. After that, the Arctic will look warm and toasty compared to the cold shoulder I'm going to develop now.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006



(8:12 pm PT) - Breathing
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm still alive for the curious. I just get tired of complaining about the same thing. Just chalk my silence up to life.

Think I'm almost past my writing block, which is good given I have two VGY prompts due this month. I'm hoping to knock them out before the deadline, and not with three minutes to spare.

Thursday, December 07, 2006



(10:04 pm PT) - Sankyu
[link] - (indescribable)

Quick thanks for the support on that last (all too ranty) post. I wish I could have grabbed the chance to chat, but soon as I posted, I pretty much left for supplies and just to get away from said cause of frustration.

In slightly lighter news, Twilight Princess shows genuine bl potential with two minor charas. Course one looks like a HP runaway, but who cares, it's single males that isn't Link and not a princess in disguise, (if you believe that one in the first place).

I'm also looking forward to the fact that I get the beat the crap out of fight a brainwashed princess. I've been wanting to do that for years. And it's the least they can do after the hell of the Sky City temple. I think my controller will have my fingerprints carved in the plastic forever after that one.



(7:15 am PT) - ...
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm sorry, I know all I seem to be doing is bitching about my family, and this post is no different. Miry pointed out to me that they seem to get on my nerves even worse during the holidays, and this is proving to be no exception. So feel free to skip if you want.

Seriously, they say things that might seem innocent enough to them, but makes me seriously have even more self-perception issues that I know what to do with. I'm like Opus with my own anxiety closet, and most of it is from them.

Example, three things from the M-unit. 1. I should have more empathy. 2. upon saying I need to be careful with my finances since I didn't buy my monthly manga, I'm asked can't I do without for one month. 3. After making sure I get everyone something they actually want, even if it's no longer a surprise, I say if anyone wants to know what I want, I'll take $25 from each. (Which is a lot less than I spent on a couple of them.) To which she replies, "Then I'll give you what I was going to give you, plus $10."

...

And like I said, I made sure I was getting them something I know they would like or wanted. Mom said a food vacuum sealer. B-unit wants a massage, and S-unit gets a particular cologne I know she likes, because she stole it from me the one time I had it.

And yet I'm also asked if I can 'go without' for my own hobby, which is pretty much one of the few ways I can keep sane. I don't see her telling B and S to go without their little herbal relaxation, and they probably spend way more in a month than I do for my manga and anime.

Crap, I so hate being a middle child. And it's a double middle, because it's four, I'm in the middle of two girls, so S-unit is actually the baby girl, while B-unit is the baby and the only boy. Sure, M-unit's on the outs with the nutjob in Westwood, but I'm still being treated with a certain status that doesn't seem to be breaking or changing no matter what.

But I'm supposed to have more empathy.

I wonder if she has a clue how it took damn near selling my soul to not scream out how if I'm such a cold hearted bitch, it's because my family made me that way.

No, probably not. They think they know me, but I don't think they do, and doubt if they ever will.

Monday, December 04, 2006



(8:35 am PT) - apologies
[link] - (indescribable)

Sorry to those I was supposed to connect with yesterday. The family situation got about 35% worse, as did my cramps, so I laid down and actually fell asleep for most of the night without realising it. Hopefully I can be a bit more productive today.

Sunday, December 03, 2006



(4:18 pm PT) - holiday cheer, just not around here
[link] - (indescribable)

You know, when someone says early afternoon, I think 1-2. I don't think 4 is early afternoon by anyone's standards, unless you're a vamp, maybe.

But moreso, if I say earlier in the day I'm not leaving if 4pm shows up, then why do I get a harried mother trying to get me to go... when I'm cramping... on my cycle.

I can answer that, though. Because she doesn't have enough of a spine to tell my sister that, since she was late, she's not getting paid in full. So instead mom will probably pay her in full from her own pocket, then come back complaining about how she has no money.

Like I tell her to do these things. I for one would not pay the girl, period. Why should I pay for services not rendered? The deal was 20 from me, 10 from mom, be here early afternoon. She honks at 4. My stance, too late.

But yet I'm told to be more empathetic. It's a fucking business contract, IMO. Emotions don't come into it, and they shouldn't come into it. I honestly don't care if she bitches about wasting gas coming over here; she shouldn't have accepted the terms if she couldn't deliver in the time stated.

So what do I get out of this now? A missed chance for a 5 piece set of jewellry making tools at $5, (I doubt if I see that offer again), and mom in a bad mood because she decided to pay the full amount even though I didn't go where I wanted to.

Someone tell me again why I'm getting these people gifts?

Sunday, November 26, 2006



(5:18 pm PT) - distracted
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm being distracted by a bit of RL stupidity that I don't as yet feel comfortable talking about beyond that. (If ever.) Hence the latest bout of silence. As much as I'd like to say I'm actually being silly myself and distracted with Twilight Princess, I can't say that either. (If it wasn't for LoZ, I'd have shot someone by now.)

My theory on why they called it Twilight Princess, because "I was a teenage werewolf" was already taken.

OT, to those still doing NaNo, hang in there. I've seen miracles happen right in through now. To those who have finished, don't forget to check it against the official validator, (now open), and get all certified and stuff.

I'm getting blank stare on those drabbles I owe. Not good. ::stares at empty wordpad::

Friday, November 17, 2006



(7:06 am PT) - Ugh
[link] - (indescribable)

I am not awake, it's a figment of my imagination, I swear.

For once I'd like to call a game place where the employees don't sound like they failed remedial reading. Just once.

How come the rest of you don't have Animamundi? It's lonely in my little fandom. ::weeps::

This post brought to you by too little sleep and too many Excedrin migraine.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006



(9:08 am PT) - So...
[link] - (indescribable)

The PS3 goes on sale, what, tonight? Tomorrow? People are already camping out for it, I know.

To that I say, screw it. So I don't get one on launch day. I might not get one for another month depending on how the hysteria goes. (I'd rather have the Wii anyway, but that too might be sold out on launch.) But you know, so what? Getting it on launch day is nothing more than bragging rights. Since I can afford it, then I'll get it when I get it, and not any sooner. Besides, after hearing that it's got compatibility issues with older games, I'm feeling even less enthusiastic about it than before.

To the PS3, I say Wii.

In other news, I upgraded to Firefox 2, and of course as is the usual route, spent nearly two hours getting it to look the way I'm familiar with, (still lost my IE theme), and to get most of my plugins working. However, there's one feature I could get used to. Apparently it's got a spellcheck as you type. As one who frequently forgets to hit the spellcheck button, this may come in handy.

Anyway, I have breakfast, so I'm going to go eat it.



(12:23 am PT) - Sorry
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm sorry if I haven't been responding much of late. I'm less than 20k from NaNo, despite sucky plot, and I have a final in class this week, then one next week. So I've been feeling a bit buried under things. I'm hoping to go through and answer everything tomorrow, (though knowing me, that translates into this weekend). So again, sorry if you've been waiting for me. Not ignoring anyone, just swamped.

Saturday, November 11, 2006



(11:33 pm PT) - erroneous humour
[link] - (indescribable)

I forgot to mention, and it seems to have been a NaNo tradition. For those writing NaNo who need a break, or anyone just wanting a bit of humour.

The 2006 Egregiously Erroneous Information Thread



(10:21 am PT) - hmph
[link] - (indescribable)

The last thing I need while trying to get through NaNo is to have some people on a shall-remain-nameless ML putting it down due to an article with someone else's opinion on why they do naNo.

First off, practically everyoen has different reasons for why they partipate in NaNo. So trying to lump everyone together and the whole idea of NaNo because of a few others opinion is ridiculous.

Second, and more importantly, if one has never bothered trying to do NaNo without any good reason for it, (I can understand those who say they don't have time, job, home, priorities, et cetera), why the need to harp on it? It's like saying you dislike something without bothering to taste it. (I've tasted grits, I don't like them. I've tasted sushi, I usually like it. My familay has never tasted sushi and say they won't like it. Makes no sense to me.)

If the harping keeps up, I'll ave to leave the ML. I'm getting a little bored with it anyway, and I can always visit the archive. And everyone's entitled to their opinion. Just doesn't mean I have to stick around and read said opinion.

Speaking of NaNo, I don't know what anti-depressant Mo`re took this time around, but he's almost mellow. Gotta fix that somehow.

How's everyone else's plot coming? (And to those who have inhuman word counts, I want your souls, thank you.)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006



(12:20 am PT) - she crashed...
[link] - (indescribable)

Sorry, I crashed hard, and just woke up a few minutes ago. (Missed a DQ in school, but whatever.)

Moonchan, Yiss, package was here. Got raided on for the chocolate, lion is now with siblings, pocky is so mine. Sankyuu!

Kit, yah, kinda bummed. (I honestly didn't know it was a two hour stint between the hotel and your place.) Like I said, (depending on how things are with you next year), I may come a day early and just crash with you for that time, then go to the hotel.

Domino, m(__)m Sorry! I did get the emails, and I meant to try and log on, but I slept way longer than I thought I would, and I'm still sleepy. Would be coherent right now.

Kalli, answered emails somewhat. Will have more brain capacity in the morning.

Randomly, I'm losing faith with my current host. Will have to consider options.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006



(7:05 am PT) - ready to quit
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm ready to toss in Ynet. I'm tired of server issues and users complaining of 'unprofessionalism'. Nevermind back in the early days I've asked for help any never got it. And nevermind that sometimes a user will have a problem that I can't duplicate, so how can I fix what I don't see.

Been trying to set up a test site in between everything, since I have a test DB. But damned if I don't hit one snag after another.

Sar, do you think at this point it would be best to just build from the ground up?

Monday, October 16, 2006



(11:19 am PT) - And it's back
[link] - (indescribable)

So my LJ plugin is working again, which makes me think it had something to do with previously mentioned server problems. But it's working, which is all that matters for the moment.

Okay, everyone I'm meeting up with, please if you can just comment to confirm times and such, because LN is losing her mind and needs help I want to make sure I have it in a centralised location.

Friday, October 13, 2006



(8:57 pm PT) - quickie
[link] - (indescribable)

Electrical storm in my area, so if I owe you a reply, I'll probably send/post it tomorrow if the storm's passed by then. Until then, g'night all.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006



(2:39 pm PT) - more annoyances
[link] - (indescribable)

Just when it seems I've got most affairs in order before the con, some asshat wants to now try and hack/spam the counter service at Bryony, which has been sitting quietly undisturbed for a few years now.

Have I mentioned hating people that do this, especially those who do it for fun, but those who do it for profit can burn in hell, too.

Kalli, like I said, I'll look for a replacement if that turns out to be the case. Just depends on how much they cost.

Monday, October 09, 2006



(10:29 am PT) - ToDo
[link] - (indescribable)

ToDo:
Graphic for VGY though I want to do some more
Start Garden work
Check con transportation
panic

I'm not ready. I'm as far as not ready as one can get.

To interested parties, here's my schedule. I'll actually be arriving a lot earlier than expected, coming in aprox. 8-8:30am on the 19th. I know check-in won't be ready then, so anyone I can lounge with until the room's ready?

Then I'll be leaving at 10-10:30 pm on the 23rd. (Bus leaves at 11, so need to be there befoehand). So any plans for then?

Next important trip purchase: makeup. Because I hate my spotty face, verily.

Friday, October 06, 2006



(3:00 pm PT) - game rant: I am not happy with the ideal of 'new'
[link] - (indescribable)

Dear Kobayashi, if it is true that you actually did say that, as far as Dante not being the main playable character that he, "was overused and had already been played out," then please to be fucking off now, because for all those fans who played through all three games, he was the only reason we bothered.

For more of what I'm talking about, and why I'm now feeling ambivalent about DMC4: http://sonsofsparda.com/forums/1/81659/ShowThread.aspx#81659

Also, there's apparently a promo movie up at the site. http://www.capcom.co.jp/devil4/main.html and click on movies at the bottom.

But from the images I've seen, it feels like they've gone out of their way to 'ugly him up', Danta that is. What really annoyed me is the constant reference to wanting to entice new players. Almost to the point of saying screw the old ones.

Which is one thing I respect DoC about, because there he wanted to change the direction not because he wanted new players, but because he knew the old players of FF7 were older now, and may have changed their tastes. So he was still trying to think of the original fans.

If a game is good, it won't matter if it's a sequel or not. Soul Reaver was a good game, and I enjoyed it, even though I had never heard of Blood Omen. What will likely happen is a good sequel will make new players want to go back and play the original, which I did. But trying to entice new while disregarding old? Definite turn-off for me.

I'll still get it, and I'll still play it, but it might be the deciding factor on if I'll continue with the series, (unlike with Soul Reaver and Blood Omen, where those bastards know they got me no matter what.)

Thursday, October 05, 2006



(11:51 am PT) - If anyone wonders...
[link] - (indescribable)

Where I've gotten off to again for a few days, I'll just say school is trying its damndest to suck out my soul. Pity that was kinda handed over years ago, but I won't tell them that.

ToDo:
Graphic for VGY
Start Garden work
Check con transportation
panic This one's covered.

Saturday, September 30, 2006



(9:32 pm PT) - ::dead::
[link] - (indescribable)

Second and last round 1 prompt complete. not as happy with it as I am for the first, but I blame that on the fact of it's not a pairing I usually write for. Kalli's better with those two than I am.

Con... so very close. I'm not ready. ::urks::

Friday, September 29, 2006



(3:30 am PT) - Urk
[link] - (indescribable)

One VGY prompt down, one to go. And only a little over 24 hours to do it.

Sure, I probably can, just... not well.

Sunday, September 24, 2006



(3:55 am PT) - The cricket is two steps from Raid
[link] - (indescribable)

It's not that I don't like crickets, but I don't like them in my freakin' room, and I certainly don't like them jumping around as they do. And least do I like them landing right on my keyboard. Because yes, they sound very nice, but they are ugly as sin. (Admittedly, phobia makes for biased opinion, but the sucker is big and ugly and freaking me out, end of story.)

Goawaygoawaygoawaygoaway...

Saturday, September 23, 2006



(9:34 pm PT) - Oops
[link] - (indescribable)

I may or may not have accidently taken four excedrin migraine just now. Well, if I don't get any sleep tonight, I'll know why.

Dear Flist. This is for you. Beware of sap, too much even for a Hallmark card. (That email address is strictly for spam, just to note.)

To my family:
1. I'm not a lending service or other such financial institution.
2. If I give you sound advice, don't complain later about crap that happens when you don't take it.

VGY prompt panic begins now. Ends October 1st, when con panic takes over.

Friday, September 22, 2006



(8:54 pm PT) - This doesn't bode well...
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm fairly certain that the instructors for Axia have little say in the course material; it's standard fair for all classes under a certain number. So I'm trying not to put any undue blame where it isn't deserved.

That being said, someone explain to me the logic of giving me an example that shows input/output processes of a program that will take the cost of a gallon of paint and the dimensions of a room, and calculate the total painting cost, then tell me to write the in/out process for a program that keeps track of my DVD collection.

They're two completely different #@$%&!! programs!

::breathes:: I'm okay, really. That probably didn't make a lot of sense anyway, but suffice it to say the example does a piss poor job of giving me any idea of what to do with the assignment.

Monday, September 18, 2006



(8:54 pm PT) - I got precious little done today...
[link] - (indescribable)

I wasn't too darn productive. Why? Apparently I have a tiny person living somewhere right behind my eyes, and occasionally they like to spork the back of my left eye repeatedly.

In short, a migraine.

But the sporking is a very good description for how it feels.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006



(9:09 pm PT) - Before I forget...
[link] - (indescribable)

Lonely poll at Myrra Garden seeking votes. Looking for friendship, possibly more. http://community.livejournal.com/myrra_garden/1710.html



(8:11 am PT) - I'm spacing out...
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm spacing out and forgetting a lot of things I'm supposed to do and people to reply to. So while I'm actually thinking about replies, though be warned, coherency is optional for me at this point.

Sar: Tonsils... ooooooow. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Mirchan: I got your emails. Sounds like Rl isn't done with you. Going to try and email today.

Domi: Condos = suckage. Hope you get what you're looking for, though.

Mina: I thought I commented when you mentioned the fic, but I think it was a case of I only thought I had, but didn't do. (If that makes sense.) Anyway, no worries.

Kalli: Still working on TS layout, debating buying the comm a little time and doing something flashy in S1. Oh, I have an idea on how I want the mascot to look. Should I just email you the details?

I think that's everything, but really, if you were looking for or wanted me to comment about something, feel free to smack me upside the head remind me.

Friday, September 08, 2006



(10:43 pm PT) - mascot?
[link] - (indescribable)

Before I forget, taking mascot ideas



(2:54 pm PT) - Swee! (not a typo)
[link] - (indescribable)

You know you're a fangirl when just an image of a game that the friggin' console isn't even out yet for gets you excited. Or as Sprink called it, Swee, the new Squee. Yiss, it's DMC4. Yiss, it's the sole driving factor for wanting to get the PS3 when it actually comes out, (I waited four months after the PS2, no motivation.) And yes, there's not a lot up, but it's something, dammit.

Swee.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006



(3:01 pm PT) - we're not asking to kneel and kiss our asses, but quit busting us in them, too
[link] - (indescribable)

I have a lot of things to comment and reply to, I'm sure. (Sar, no worries, I know RL takes precedence over anything else.) I've just been absentminded lately and my own RL was a little hectic. Not too bad, but enough.

However, that's not why I'm posting. Two things I was to bring attention to. First is an entry by Sribblemoose regarding contributions to fandoms. She speaks from a writer's point of view, but really, it applies to anyone who spends their time doing something for the fandom they enjoy, looking for nothing except a comment or two. You can read it here.

Second, new round opened at .Video Game Yaoi This time, all games accepted, so it's a free-for-all. (psst, Gardensgnome, you and I can drop in some CoD prompts now.) This promises to be a wild ride, I bet.

Currently need to go to bank, and switch because WaMu can [censored]. Then maybe I can get to things that I actually enjoy doing.

Saturday, September 02, 2006



(5:46 pm PT) - vidroom suggestions
[link] - (indescribable)

So Stephanie, head of the video room at yaoicon, emails me to make sure I'm still coming, and I'll still be a vidroom slave volunteer. (I enjoy working there, it's where I find most of my new fandoms.) Anyway, she asked if I had any suggestions on things to show, and I said I'd ask my flist, since I get most of my other suggestions from there.

So I'm asking. Licensed of fansub, don't care, but taking all ideas for anime to show in the vidroom at yaoicon. Need title, and either who licensed it or name of teh sub group for fansubs.

Now for my own personal request, if you have any comments for Myrra Garden or know anyone who might be interested in such a project, just comment or pass the word along. (For I suck at advertising.)

Otherwise, things are fair. Wrenched my neck somehow, so a little sore, but nothing motrin can't handle, I think. Didn't do any manga/anime shopping for August, so it's going to be a doozy for September. Need to make sure the room for the con is clear, just to be safe. (I take no chances.) And need to finish up some beading projects. (I'm wearing all this at the con. If I can't cosplay, I can go for eclectic.)

Sunday, August 27, 2006



(9:40 pm PT) - premise
[link] - (indescribable)

Gah, falling behind on a few things, including testing and poll muse. Will play catch-up this coming week.

But not why I'm posting. After being duly and justifiably threatened with a rod of beating if I consider taking other people's projects, I'm working on my own. Well, I can't take all credit. Kalli has been a wonderful help for me to get it off the ground. But it still needs some input so the premise is less confusing.

The idea is called Myrra Garden, and takes a page from RPG-like character creation and combines it with writing prompts. The first post describes the first draft of the premise. If you find it confusing, I'd really appreciate if you can take a minute to tell me what confuses you, and perhaps help to make it a bit more clear. I'd like to get the premise as easy to understand as possible before officially opening up, so any feedback will be helpful.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006



(7:48 pm PT) - thoughts for others
[link] - (indescribable)

Despite seemingly caught up in my own unnecessary wank and drama, I know there are many on my flist who are having a much rougher time than I. And while words seem to come all too easily when I'm angry, they ground to a halt and seem somewhat empty when I want to show compassion or let others know I worry and care about them. For some of the problems I know you are going through, words seem to fall short of really letting you know I'm worried, I want things to work out for you, if I can help I want to... I don't know, maybe I should just say them anyway, even if they seem to do so little? But I am worried, I am thinking of you, and many other things I just can't find any words for.

But I can offer an ear. Most of you have my email, and if not, just comment in LJ and I'll email you from there if I have yours, (I probably do). Even if I can't help, I can listen, and ranting really does make us feel a little better, least to get it off our chest.

Friday, August 18, 2006



(8:38 am PT) - older, wiser, smarkier
[link] - (indescribable)

To pull a page from Mina, it's my bday. luff me!

I used to feel weird announcing that, actually. But what the hey. And I got a bunch of nice automated responses from forums, an unexpected one from someone at Nordinho, and a lovely tied up Riku from Sar. Day's starting sweet already. /^^\

Also, the astrology picture of the day (warning: huge pic) is absolutely beautiful, so I consider that a gift as well.

In academics: I'm sucking far as progress goes, but I have a complete outline, I have the number of words I want to dedicate to each section, and I have a lovely M-unit who knows how to bullshit, so I may still have a chance. (Otherwise, I'll check myself into the ER and go for an incomplete. No joke, my stomach has been terrible with worrying about this, so it's a legit concern.)

Oh, about the poll, don't worry. I will write. Just want the final out the way first.

What else? Ah yes, been trying to find a pattern to make a sead beed cross, preferably with a larger "gem" bead in the center. No luck yet. Might have to improvise.

Hm, maybe a todo list will help sort the day:

* rest a little more (bad night)
* work on paper
* test Sar's code
* hide DoC from self
* work on paper / pretend DoC doesn't exist

That's good for now. Probably won't follow it, but least I made the plan.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006



(1:32 am PT) - insomnia attack
[link] - (indescribable)

getting pissed always leaves me with a bout of insomnia. In an effort to put myself to sleep, I went reading MSN articles, and found this one aimed at guys and some recipes to help get six-pack abs. But that's not the point. In the opening paragraph it says, "A lot can happen in 6 minutes. It's enough time to make or break a job interview, have great sex...."

Woah, hold please. Great sex in six minutes? Is this in addition to the other twn at least, not counting foreplay?

If great sex could be had in just six minutes, where's my share? I think people would be enjoying it more if it were that quick. "New Great Sex! Turn on and climax in just six minutes!" Seriously with everyone aiming to find more enjoyment in less time, this should have been marketed years ago. ?.?;

If great sex could be had in six minutes, a lot of fanfics out there would have been finished a long time ago, I bet.

Monday, August 14, 2006



(7:26 am PT) - Urk
[link] - (indescribable)

I now have one week, and one 2500-3000 paper due on the following:

Your final project is a Systems Development Plan. Create a plan for systems development according to the fitness center specifications in the exercise. (IS to give competitive edge in business, to be used by employees and fitness consultants.)

Address the following points in your plan:
1. Introduction
  a. Define the purpose of the info rmation system and its alignment with company goals.
  b. Address the roles of the people who will be involved in the project.
2. Plan
  a. Outline the considerations for systems investigation.
  b. Outline the steps for systems analysis.
  c. Outline the steps for systems design.
  d. Create guidelines for a systems review and maintenance schedule.
  e. Determine a sequence of activities.
3. Conclusion
  a. Create an announcement of the new system roll out that includes the benefits to users.


I was hoping seeing it in my journal might help me out. ... Now accepting donations for academic prayers and miracles, thanks.

I will write, (and play DoC), beginning next week.

Saturday, August 12, 2006



(7:11 pm PT) - DoC
[link] - (indescribable)

Game rant. Possible DoC spoilers...

So I just watched the ending for Dirge of Cerebus. (I always do this. If it's going to be a four hanky moment, I want to know before I'm emotionally committed.) now from all the other parts I've seen, I'm guessing this plot is going to get real convoluted before it gets clear. But not my main point. If the character I saw is supposed to be "the love interest", I'm officially gagging, and wishing they'd paired him with Yuffie instead. Seriously. And no, it's not that I have an inherit dislike of female characters; I like Yuffie, though her and Vincent just seem incompatible, is all. But this one appears so flippin' wish-wash. I know, I shouldn't judge from just the ending, but can't help it. Really, I'd rather it have been Yuffie.

Thursday, August 10, 2006



(11:43 am PT) - Nothing new...
[link] - (indescribable)

Nothing much of post worthiness. I guess this is one of those, "I'm still alive" things, then. Or just idle thinking...

While searching around last night to see if Squenix might be nice with a NA release of the KH2 OST, (because I like Sanctuary, thank you), I found this article at Wikipedia about the reversal lyrics. Of course, I had to try. And yeah, that's pretty much what I heard as well. Nice thing is it still sounds like a song even reversed. (Most reversals sound warped and ready to summon a minor demon or something.) So I wound up saving the reverse as a separate song. Sue me, I liked it.

Kalli, did you have problems with editing the feature list? If so, just tell me the titles and maybe I can try changing it in the DB itself, pain and a half that is.

I don't know where this bug came from, but I wish it would go the hell away.

Monday, July 31, 2006



(8:48 pm PT) - Ugh
[link] - (indescribable)

Life went and upchucked on me between Saturday and today. I think it's stopped, though. I'm behind on emails, however, and bdays, so I'll try and catch up this week.

Friday, July 28, 2006



(2:46 am PT) - sleep, why do you escape me?
[link] - (indescribable)

I've been beading a lot lately, though nothing really spectacular. Yet for some reason, I have a sudden urge to make a rosary, even though I'm nowhere near Catholic. Go fic.

Saturday, July 22, 2006



(6:53 am PT) - blargh
[link] - (indescribable)

I've actually had people ask me what I want this year for my bday, and honestly, I can't think of a single thing. Nada, zilch, zippo.

So I'm compromising. If you want to spend money, gift certificates are wonderful. If you don't, but you write or draw, that is equally wonderful.

This probably sounds very assuming on my part, but honestly, between friends and family, I just can't think of anything else. I guess because I wind up getting everything I want myself.

Kit: I can see why you'd hate itunes. Now that I actually have it, it's not so bad, but I can understand the hatred. If I had a choice, I wouldn't have it. But the pod was in the same price range as the more decent mp3 players I was looking at, so I just figured what the hell.

Now I have to go check the list I have this year of bday fics and get started, because I know it starts very soon.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006



(3:50 pm PT) - Huh
[link] - (indescribable)

Things were weird the last few days. Can't say stressful, just weird, and time got away from me.

I settled on and ordered a notebook. In particular, this notebook. I got off cheaper ordering through Amazon than buying at Circuitcity; no tax. So now nobody can yell at me for getting a Sony, HP, or Gateway, which all received a complaint from one or another.

In other news, yes, I freakin' admit it. I gave into the Ipod trend. It's just a nano. I just wanted to listen to my mp3s without having to sit at my desktop, (and using the Lappy for that seemed a bit much). I feel ashamed of myself. I was trying not to get one. Woe.

I take a slight break from yaoi... by reading slash instead. 80s TV slash. I'm shameless. But I have a half-finished CoD fic I really need to finish. ::crosses fingers, plays CoD for inspiration::

Friday, July 14, 2006



(11:39 pm PT) - I forgot... honest
[link] - (indescribable)

I am a dork who forgot to pimp. ::smacks self:: Anyway, there's this nice little comm, video_game_yaoi, and right now it's taking FF7 prompts here. So if you have something you'd like to see written, go, comment. Maybe you'll get lucky. But read rules and such first. Those are always good.



(11:59 am PT) - I'm trying to work...
[link] - (indescribable)

I can multi-task fairly well, and I can do so even with the TV on.

So why, when I'm trying to write up a tutorial for one of my sites, and I'm really trying to look at TV, which I rarely do, does mom want to loiter in my room and talk? She's talking right now, about what I don't know, but honestly, I'm busy. I love you, lady, but get a hint and leave me in peace.

She needs friends.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006



(2:07 pm PT) - ::headdesk::
[link] - (indescribable)

A ville site is broken, and for the first time, I really have no idea how to fix it.

Shoot me.

Sunday, July 09, 2006



(2:45 am PT) - ::walletheaddesk::
[link] - (indescribable)

In a fit of insomnia, I've worked on my manga/anime to get, which is behind because I thought I was changing banks last month.

And grand total, including stuff that hasn't shipped yet from previous orders and everything I meant to get in June: Approx $350

::headdesk::

Damn you, Amazon, for your recommendations. (Not that I actually buy from you, but the recs are very handy.)

Fortunately, I believe I can cover it, and maybe set one or two things aside for later anyway. The biggest problems then are: 1. finding time to read/watch it all; and 2. finding space.

Saturday, July 08, 2006



(5:21 pm PT) - ...
[link] - (indescribable)

Further proof it had every intention of being one of those days:

My connection dropped a little before noon, and just now came back, 5 hours later.

Dear Saturday. Fuck off. Kindly. - LN



(9:56 am PT) - nh
[link] - (indescribable)

It's one of those days where I wonder if there's really a point to the things I do. Any of it.

Sorry, that's really wangsty and pathetic sounding, but it's... just that type of day.

Thursday, July 06, 2006



(10:28 am PT) - looking into notebook PCs
[link] - (indescribable)

So somethings come in, and I may actually be able to buy a notebook pc, which will help when I hit the con. Anyway, I'm taking suggestions, info, warnings, et cetera as I start shopping. The max with tax is 1200. I'm admittedly partical to HP, if only because the desktops I've had were all HPs, including Jalopy, and I haven't had any major problems that weren't caused by outside forces.

So far I've seen one contender, but as I'm just starting, this is in no way near the final decision, so any info you have for me is greatly appreciated.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006



(10:36 pm PT) - I tried
[link] - (indescribable)

I found a muse. It was hiding in the pen. No, seriously. I was laying down when I dreamed up a quick opening scene. But I was going to give it to lost as I didn't want to get up and go to my comp to type it down. Then I looked at my pen, shrugged, and grabbed some paper out of my printer. Before I knew it, I had apparently written near a thousand words, and the drop off would lead nicely into the sex. So it was hiding in my pen. I wish I had found it sooner, though, since it's still too late to make the anthy. Oh well, I'll write the rest tomorrow and decide what to do with it.



(12:32 am PT) - Thank you / flatsville
[link] - (indescribable)

First, a huge thanks to everyone who answered the previous post.The info was very much appreciated.

This post is otherwise pointless whining because I have a plotbunny, but absolutely cannot find a muse for it. So when the sun comes up, I'm going to see how well and how fast i can write under such conditions, and I gaurantee it will be craptacular, but damnation, I want to write this pairing so bad I can taste it.

Randomly at Gnome, did we ever consider Hector's belt/sash as a light bondage item? You'd think we would have...

Saturday, July 01, 2006



(1:25 pm PT) - Once again, because the info illudes me...
[link] - (indescribable)

I have tried and I have tried and oh how I've tried. And if I try any more I'm going to scream. So again I turn to my flist.

This time around, I'm looking for names of different areas in a castle. Any castle, whether it's a generic or specific name. (i.e. the area used for jousting is, so I'm told, called a 'tiltyard'.) If you know where the blazes I can find such info at, please point me in the direction thereof. I will smother you in my cleavage of love shower you with unbridled gratification.

Friday, June 30, 2006



(1:37 pm PT) - small net after all...
[link] - (indescribable)

Amazing the things you can find while working on a project. by this I mean I'm slowly working on gathering all the Keys for the Palace to make a character list, when I come across a file for The Silent Key, but no description. Normally I've been just sending such keys to a bin since I doubt I can find the descriptions, but this one time I decided to look at the file itself, and lo, it was in fact written by Mina. Imagine that.

Mina, do you remember this, and if so, do you maybe, by some strange whim of fate, have the description still?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006



(12:43 pm PT) - surreal garden
[link] - (indescribable)

Someone at one of the comms I'm on, can't remember which, posted a link to a surreal bit of flash. It's a kissing garden, where the fruit grows with 'kisses'. I took a small trip through it, feeling like I fell through the rabbit hole. I do love the music, and keep a tab there just to let it play. Some of the fruit messages are the usual crude type one can expect, but sometimes there's a gem, or just a simple message of life and/or love.

Of course I planted one, need you even ask? Better, will you help it grow? Plant one yourself? Yes, I'll help yours, too.

Surrealism let's me escape reality for a few moments with a gentle puff of air.

Saturday, June 24, 2006



(1:54 am PT) - ::coughs on dust::
[link] - (indescribable)

Okay, I'm back, because I'm easily influenced and Kit said she missed Locuran. So here's how it goes. If you're on the Locuran feed, now would be a good time to dump it and just friend my at LJ. Because everything I post here will get posted there. So staying on the feed gets you a double post, which I'm sure you don't want or need.

Anyway, not much beyond that. I've actually missed this place too with the calming blue schema I liken to 'home'. Feels like I've been on a long journey, and now I'm back, least part time. I'll still post at LJ when I need something locked, probably.

And to end, funniest thing I read while away at 1:50 in the morning with a migraine:

"If you love someone, let them go... or at least make sure the ropes are loose enough and the collar's not too tight."

Sunday, May 07, 2006



(8:11 am PT) - Huh
[link] - (indescribable)

And just as I lament about what to do between Locuran and LJ, someone at the Nucleus forums writes a plugin so the post would automatically be posted over at LJ as well.

So what does everyone think? You could kill the locuran feed if I did that, and get the post at the same time. I stick to using Locuran, and use LJ only for locked post when necessary. Comments?

Monday, April 03, 2006



(1:13 pm PT) - I'm wet but happy
[link] - (indescribable)

Two hours on a bus. Three hours in line. Two of those hours in the rain, but I got them, damn it all. Tickets to the free Advent Children screening in Hollyweird for tonight.

'Scuse me whilst I zone on the moment.

Saturday, April 01, 2006



(10:09 am PT) - Nn
[link] - (indescribable)

Only thing I don't like about today is how many sites, in wanting to do something, remove the ability to read the original content. So basically, the intarweb gets broken.

In other news, Flashback Week is officially scheduled for the third week in April. So from the 17th to the 23rd, go into your closet, under your bed, wherever you're hiding that old game, anime, book, etcetera, that you haven't seen in years, and pay it a visit. Get a little nostalgic. After all, there was a reason you got it, right?

edit: to Kit, home misses you, too.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006



(2:35 pm PT) - geeky
[link] - (indescribable)

You know you're a nerd when you get excited because that long reach stapler your ordered for binding zines arrives.

OT: I'm looking into external HDs. Any suggestions?

Monday, March 20, 2006



(10:56 pm PT) - survey
[link] - (indescribable)

The questions are finally up. You can find (and answer) them at http://lntora.livejournal.com/69909.html or you can download the text file, (in a zip) at http://www.savefile.com/files/1732055 and email them back to me. More importantly, let other interested parties know, please. Thanks.



(11:29 am PT) - medic
[link] - (indescribable)

My critical thinking instructor shows his rear again by deducting two points off an innundo statement, saying I made a direct relation between two points, which is not what an innuendo does.

Obviously, if he thinks that, he didn't get the innuendo at all.
Women's interest in male-male content may be seen by some as an abnormality in female sexuality, yet there are far fewer cases reported of sexually deviant behaviour in females as there are among men who consume male-oriented pornography.
The implication being that men are more prone to abnormalities than women in regards to how sexual content influences them.

I don't know if I'm going to contest this or not yet.

In other news, I've finally got a decent list of survey questions. I'll probably post on LJ and screen comments, or offer a download to fill out and mail back, whichever people prefer. I'm hoping friends will point others in the direction as well once it's up, which should be tonight. (Of course, depending on how long LJ takes to update Locuran's feed, this might be speaking in past tense. /=_=; )

April should see me starting to replace the fiasco of February. I'm going to just work on one or two boxes per month, (randomly), and send them out. For Xmas, it will have to be something smaller from now on, and the group stuff I'll just try and do through the year. Oh yes, and maybe start using UPS instead. (Though I know none of these delivery services really take any great honkin' care with anything, I'm sure.)

Projected price for PS3: $500. LN has saved: $400. Projected release: November. Oh yeah, so there. unless I get blindsided by the Revolution... hurr.

Thursday, March 16, 2006



(9:37 pm PT) - Comment feed a go
[link] - (indescribable)

Finally got a working comment feed. Good: can now see latest comments through LJ. This means I can make replies in comments. Bad: you'll see all comments. (But think of it as when you see a bunch of comments on LJ pages.) Also, as with all syn feeds you subscribe to in LJ, it dumps all the current items in one swoop, but that's a one time thing.

There's links at Locuran, including an 'add this user' in LJ. So no I'll just make any replies this way. Makes things easier until I can convince someone at Nucleus to include email notification when an individual comment gets a reply. (Not holding my breath, though.)



(3:30 pm PT) - Sigh...
[link] - (indescribable)

One big honkin jip. Spiral is only good for eye candy. I'm sorry I wasted money.

Not that there's anything wrong with eye candy, but given that it had this great big build-up to something, there was no payoff whatsoever. And neither was the whole deal with the Blade Children ever explained outside of they're missing their seventh rib on the right side. Big deal, so what?

Gah... I don't like big builds to zero pay.

::resists urge to write epic fanfic to fix this... resists real hard::

Tuesday, March 14, 2006



(10:50 pm PT) - mystery is love
[link] - (indescribable)

The last volume of Spiral just arrived at my doorstep today. I'm watching volume one now.

I'm in mystery hog heaven.

Still accepting suggestions for creative inspiration.

::continues watching Spiral::



(1:43 am PT) - Oh yeah, I have a journal
[link] - (indescribable)

I realise that there's nothing wrong with posting sporadically. And hopefully nobody thinks there's anything wrong. Simply put, I just have stretches where there's absolutely nothing to talk about. Trust me, when there is, I post.

That said, a big thanks to Kaie, Kit, and Kalli on tips for alternate searching. (I wound up just typing pornography and having to wade through the muck. Most of it was child safety laws or free speech arguments. Not joy.) Related, I had a 'trouble ticket' opened because the instructor did not respond to two, (count 'em, 2), posts in my indy-student newsgroup regarding my problem with getting results. That, and it's week 5 of 9, yet I'm only now getting week 2's progress summary. Now add to this that said instructor types subjects in all caps... well it's easy to guess that I can't wait for this class to be over.

I'm halfway through having a list of decent questions for my research down. I have to finish this week, since I figure a month should be somewhat suitable for gathering responses.

Ghirardelli is much love. (milk chocolate with caramel to be exact)

Rightstuf has shipped the first part of my backlash. Let the ass-raping of my wallet begin.

I haven't been feeling too inspired creatively speaking. Any suggestions?

Wednesday, March 01, 2006



(8:55 pm PT) - Another day, another whatever
[link] - (indescribable)

Domino, got the game. I probably won't get any time to play until this weekend, (provided I can get my assignments killed by Friday).

Randomly, my current bank has decided to switch all their customers debit cards from Visa to Mastercard. I'm now looking for a new bank.

In a fit of nostalgia, I grabbed a rom for Yoshi's Island and started playing. It's funny, I remember screaming when I got to Bowser's second form when I first played this years ago.

...nice to know some things won't change.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006



(9:13 am PT) - couple things
[link] - (indescribable)

To Sharachan and anyone else that might need it, I'll post the shipping info (type and date) later on today.

To those consenting to helping with my research, I don't have a set date yet. Just know it will be sometime in the next two months.

Heads up from Mirchan, she's still alive. Her comp, however... isn't.

::stares at fic for onedeadbunny:: ... if only you were self fulfilling...

Monday, February 13, 2006



(10:59 am PT) - Couple of questions
[link] - (indescribable)

I heard IE7 Beta2 is a public release. Anyone going to or has tried it yet?

Second, has anyone successfully upgraded to SP2? If so, how easy/difficult was it, and what should I do before starting?

Thursday, February 02, 2006



(8:56 am PT) - mind... gutter...
[link] - (indescribable)

Would everyone please take a look at the astrology pic of the day and tell me if my mind is the only interpreting this image so wrongly?

Mina, I can send a burned cd, sure, or do you want to dl instead? (I'll let you use my streamload bandwidth for that.) And yes, I know, still have tape. ::sigh:: I've been trying so hard to make a clear avi file of that, but either my player is too old or the tape is. I'm ready to admit defeat now.

Kit, I'm far behind on my toget. That changes this month. You want me to post it before I buy anything?

Randomly, accepting all sanity donations in the form of Spiral dvds. Have the first one.

Countdown to box shipoff begins. All Groundhog's Day presents will be sent today.

Monday, January 30, 2006



(6:16 pm PT) - responses / familiy rant
[link] - (indescribable)

Okay, Domino wants a GG fic, (I'm going to need LOTs of help, dear, starting with character stories and backgrounds). Sharachan wants FF8, Irv and Zell, (I ♥ you. Ivy gets no luv most times.) And Mina wants a Sakon fic. (Can do... I think--naw, I can do it.) Mina, to answer your question, um... depends on if I can interest you in the Meine Liebe anime or not. /^^;

Moving along, congrats to Moonchan for her first block of classes. (Hopefully I'll join you soon... without killing anyone.) Mirchan, glad to hear things are settling down a bit. Forgetful me didn't remember to check your other blog to see what was going on. (That blog doesn't have an rss feed by any chance, does it?)

Now, because this gets kinda long...
family drama, 8pm

Friday, January 27, 2006



(12:07 am PT) - For the interested parties
[link] - (indescribable)

I went and updated my about page, which lists most, (though I don't think all), of the fandoms I'm currently into. It also notes those I'm not comfortable ficcing for, or those that I can only fic under certain circumstances. So those interested in getting a Bday fic may want to look it over. (I tried to make it easy to read, honest.)

If I left a fandom out that you know I do like and.or write for, let me know. Fates know I can't remember them all.

OT: Also note the Locuran fortune cookie for the year.

Thursday, January 26, 2006



(1:00 pm PT) - Just responding
[link] - (indescribable)

Mirchan, hoping things calm down over there. If you feel like ranting but can't chat, you can always email if RL lets you.

Mina, I only have 3 volumes of KKM, so I wouldn't feel right about ficcing that yet. With Greenwood, well I have the anime, but you'd have to toss me a crumb plotbunny or pairing.

Ko-chan, okay, no guilt! (But annoyance at having my money borrowed in the first place, is that allowed?) Oh yes, mucked italic? Fixed.

Again, just to note, I'm doing Bday fics this year. Give your bdate, fandom and pairing if you're interested. (preferrably a fandom I'm familiar with, or can get easily.)

Saturday, January 14, 2006



(10:46 pm PT) - Boxes
[link] - (indescribable)

Boxes will be had tomorrow. Unfortunately, I can't ship until Tuesday at the earliest, for I totally forgot about King's Birthday. (I always think it's a week earlier than what it usually is.)

I'm developinh a love-hate relationship with my router. I love it because it lets me use my DS and PS2 online without disconnecting from my comp. I hate it because it's blocking a lot of ports I took for granted, especially in IRC. mrr

Must post ad at yuriville. Will try to do tomorrow.

Sunday, December 18, 2005



(9:15 am PT) - Incoming
[link] - (indescribable)

Moonchan, got the card! (Actually, I think I got it last week, but I kept forgetting to post about it, sorry.) Don't worry, dear, I more than anyone know how situations are. (I'm still owed $260.)



(2:30 am PT) - USPS piss off, or "How I bested the bald eagle"
[link] - (indescribable)

This got long and ranty, IMO, so I'm just posting the item link, or my version of a "cut".

Going Postal

Saturday, December 17, 2005



(1:53 am PT) - Ugh
[link] - (indescribable)

Not in school a good week, and already I'm behind on an assignment. But I can't think of a topic I want to argue about. I'd like for it to be anime or video game related, because politics hurt my head, but I can't come up with any anime/game topic to argue for or against.

Anyone got any ideas?

I know I could fall back on the topic of outsourcing jobs to foreign countries (against), but I'd have a problem anticipating counter arguments and writing rebuttals. Besides, I feel it falls under a political topic of sorts, and just--brain hurts.

Well, there's one thing to all this. I no longer feel so out of place when the majority of people I know start talking about subjects, classes, and finals. But damn, that loan is going to hurt, Maybe I can get the Calgrant if I can get my GED scores.

Randomly, to show my obsession with patterns, I'm noticing a right triangle forming on the calender at Locuran on the days I don't post.

Monday, December 12, 2005



(4:04 pm PT) - And one more... yarg
[link] - (indescribable)

I just went to class after setting up Thunderbird for the newsroom. I'm dismayed at all the "encouraged interaction". I opted for distance learning to avoid interaction, thank you.

I will now voice my complaint over the fact that everything is made compatible for Microsux products. They wanted me to use Outlook Express for the newsroom, and IE for the web campus. I REFUSE! I don't care if I'll have to log on to find the server every day for the newsroom, I will not use outlook express, and they can't make me.

I spoke with my counselor. He said he'll take my (loud) complaint up at the meeting he was going to today. I hope so. Cross compatibility, people! It's more than a pipe-dream.

I suddenly feel for all my Mac cohorts, and apologise if I've ever coded you out when designing a site. In my defence, it's not something I can test very easily.

Monday, December 05, 2005



(8:36 pm PT) - candy mold + xxx = ^0^
[link] - (indescribable)

My candy molds arrived today.

I am going to have so much fun.

I'll make a tester tomorrow. If it comes out well, I'll take a picture.

Sunday, December 04, 2005



(6:23 am PT) - 411 without paying
[link] - (indescribable)

If you tend to use 411 a lot, (the directory assistance in US, not sure outside of that), this may be of interest to you.

The fact that I saw it on Snopes.com and they say it's true lends some credence to the service.

Anyway, it's a free 411 directory service. You can learn more in the snopes article here.

Saturday, December 03, 2005



(11:05 pm PT) - Maybe back... maybe
[link] - (indescribable)

My connection seems stable at the moment, and has been since 6pm PST tonight. So I may not have that unwanted hiatus. However, I'm still making the plebes come out here, because as I kept trying to tell them, the error message, (Remote computer is not responding), seems more like a netowrk problem than anything on my end. But of course, they wouldn't listen.

Definitely looking into high-speed alternatives. All suggestions welcomed.



(3:02 pm PT) - Connection down
[link] - (indescribable)

My connection is on the fritz. Worse, SBC, (which is being taken over by AT&T), says they can't send someone out until Tuesday. Any emails and comments will be answered then.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005



(2:22 pm PT) - ...
[link] - (indescribable)

M and B units just got into an argument, (throwing my name around in something that I don't know how the hell started or what was even about). At one point I was just looking up some info on the light bill and realised I could pay the deposit online. Figuring some of the argument was related to that, I thought I'd just do it to shut people up.

Yesterday I gave mom my card and told her not to go over 200, which was for U-Haul ($70), the deposit on the lights ($85), and some food. There was 300 in there.

I check my card today in the hopes of making said deposit.

Debit Card Purchase | To: 11202 SOUTH CRENSHAW B INGLEWOOD CA | Nov. 29, 2005 | -$3.57
Debit Card Purchase | To: 11202 SOUTH CRENSHAW B INGLEWOOD CA | Nov. 29, 2005 | -$20.89
Debit Card Purchase | To: 650 E. EL SEGUNDO BLVD LOS ANGELES CA | Nov. 29, 2005 | -$60.72
Debit Card Purchase | To: 11922 S. VERMONT LOS ANGELES CA | Nov. 29, 2005 | -$111.15
Debit Card Purchase | To: U-HAUL OF GARDENA GARDENA CA | Nov. 29, 2005 | -$69.95

Yet as I'm trying to explain why now I can't pay it online, and ask why did she take more than 200, she instead lashes at me, telling me she'll pay me every cen't back, don't expect anything for Xmas, she won't borrow anymore, yadda yadda yadda. I still don't know what the argument is about, and she says she might not come back tonight.

I wish I had friends close by. I'd like to not be here for a few days and let them fight it out amongst themselves.

Monday, November 28, 2005



(11:23 pm PT) - Worst game ending theme award goes to...
[link] - (indescribable)

Castlevania: Curse of Darkness. I want to smack whoever hired that wannabe opera tenor for the job, because he sucks dead goat nuts. I can get a better song by killing a room for of howler monkeys.

Verily.

Monday, November 07, 2005



(8:19 am PT) - offline
[link] - (indescribable)

Beginning sometime today I will be without net access. I should be back sometime around Wednesday, evening most likely. By the time this appears on LJ, I might already be gone. But you can try and send me an email just to see or to get the new number. Making a separate post at LJ that should have more details.

Saturday, October 22, 2005



(12:14 pm PT) - In case you're wondering
[link] - (indescribable)

Been running around the growing chaos. Things still need to be done, only half the dress has been shipped. Unexpected bill out the clear blue, and this move is looming. Nothing's packed, of course. No, that would mean I had some sanity and time somewhere to do something practical. This trip to the con would look so much brighter if I didn't know there was a heaping pile of crap waiting for me when I got back.

Screw it, I'm taking a few hours off today and playing Castlevania: DoS. That was the sole reason I convinced my brother to go half on a DS in the first place. And I will be taking it with me.

I can't wait for the third week of Novemeber. If I do NaNo as I want, despite the bull that's trying to drown what little life I have, then I'm usually finished around that time, and I can take a breather. Though the big breather/recupe period is in January.

Can't say I'll miss 05, that's for certain.

Saturday, October 01, 2005



(12:17 am PT) - Ah ha ha ha... Taskbar OC lurve
[link] - (indescribable)

Dearest friends, I thank you. I honestly though I was the only one who was OC about my taskbar buttons/windows. It's nice to see I'm not.

Hail the TaskArrange proggie!

Friday, September 30, 2005



(6:19 am PT) - Heat... melting...
[link] - (indescribable)

Yesterday was too hot to do anything. Downtown was 100, they say. And my room is the hottest in the house. So no, nothing got done.

Today is still going to be warm, but not like yesterday, or so they say. We'll have to wait and see.

The move? Because people work so slow, it's held off until the middle of October. I already stated I don't care what happens, I'm going to the con. It's the only way to secure my sanity for another year.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005



(10:31 am PT) - I'm convinced that nobody in L.A. wants to do their job
[link] - (indescribable)

Thank you, Access transit, for screwing me over. Yes, I know, I didn't want to go to my appointment, but as I resigned myself to going, it's hardly befitting any sort of transit service that is scheduled to show up at 8:45 to not only be 20 minutes late, but upon calling, tell us you won't be there for another forty-five freakin' minutes!

::breathes:: I'm calm. Really.

So instead, I'm going to walk, because I prefer walking early in the day and getting it overwith. Then I'm going to come back and finish the rewrite of Hibernal Heart, hopefully without snarking any reviewers. Afterwards, I'll start on a project that I've been wanting to for awhile now. (Because if I don't, I'll blow my brains out from boredom.)



(8:30 am PT) - Ugh
[link] - (indescribable)

The move is still up in the air because people won't do their jobs in a timely manner, even when they're the ones who cause the initial problem in the first place. "Okay, we have to move because you say so. We have a place all nice and ready if you'd just send the fucking papers over. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you anyway, yanno."

Had to get that off my chest.

Ugh, have an appointment this morning that I don't want to go to. Is it really so wrong to expect people in any given profession to act professional? If I made the appointment for 11, at the time I'm making it, I think you should tell me you actually want me there 90 minutes earlier to fill out paperwork, so I can say whether or not I can at that time. No, you wait until the day before and tell me 9:30 on what I had assumed for damn near a month was an 11am appointment. I'm not a morning person. I schedule these things late for a reason.

Dipshits.

Anyway, if anyone needs me, I'll be back later. You can... um... read old Locuran posts in the meantime? ::cough::

Monday, September 26, 2005



(8:14 am PT) - in need of talent
[link] - (indescribable)

Calling out to the artistically inclined for help. I'm in need of a picture. Male, preferably standing, and surrounded by butterflies in a garden setting.

I can't pay anyone right away, so if money's required, I couldn't do it until November. If anything is wanted in lieu of money, (webspace, webpage, design/template, fic, et cetera), that I can do asap.

On the very rare chance that more than one person is willing, don't worry if someone answers first. I'm accepting multiple pics.

The man can be any original you want, any design you want. (Though I do love long hair, but it's not a necessity.) Just need the butterflies and garden setting, again preferably with him standing, but not a requirement.

If interested, you can leave a comment, or send me a message. Thanks.

On other note, I'm going to try the comment feed. This doesn't mean I'm giving up on the email reply. That's just going to take some time to implement, while the feed plugin already exists.



(8:09 am PT) - ToGet update - September
[link] - (indescribable)

I didn't do a toget for September yet? Consider it remedied. I need to print this out and take it with me to the con, since I'm sure most of the stuff I want for October I can get there.

Times like these I wish I had something or some skill I could pawn/sell.
To Get

Friday, September 23, 2005



(7:44 am PT) - We'll KISS and just move along
[link] - (indescribable)

Kalli, thanks for the link. As for what I wanted from the game-people, a time of when it would be archived would've been nice. As it stands, the last update on the site is still June 12th, when the game was first opened. (Though we didn't get our descriptions until last month.) I'm guessing not even half of the committed works are done. But they should post some sort of timetable, even if it's a "we're not sure when" sort of deal. But I rant and digress.

After reading over their admittedly annoying rules, I've decided I'll post it over to yaoiville. There's nothing saying you can't, and they go on to say that owners are free to post multi-part fics to their own LJ. So I don't see a problem. (And if there is, I'll point out that, unlike with the anthology, nobody explicitly asked me not to post the fic anywhere else.)

Kalli, I know what I don't like about the rules, but could you tell me what problems you have with them? I want to know so I can improve when I do a similar yet different concept.

Off topic, need input from everyone. You know I've been struggling with some sort of improvement to the comment system here, which sadly, sucks. My original plan was to use the email and send off a message if I replied to a comment, if a person left their addie. Well with this move, that's not going to happen any time soon. However, one feasible alternative would be to create a feed for comments only. Then if I reply, it will also show up in your LJ much like my regular posts too. Drawbacks are you'll get those comments aimed for the post itself. (But considering I don't get a lot of comments unless I'm asking a question, I can assure low traffic there.) And since I get notified immediately, any private comments I can easily hide/screen asap. But wanted thoughts on this before I tested it out.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005



(9:14 am PT) - Experiment: success
[link] - (indescribable)

So looks like I'll have the ability to lock posts here. And I can change the password. There's a default password, (no, not the one used previously), plus I can change it per post. So I'll eventually make a few flist only post with whatever passwords may be used.

I'm going to take Ronda's and Kit's suggestion and mod the core, so comments will be under the lock as well. (Currently you can still see them even if the post itself is locked.

Unfortunately, there's freaky weather going on here, so I'm going to be on and off all day. (Damn thing also killed my ups, so I have to go get another one. Grr.)

Moonchan, I was uploading AC when the power went out. When the weather's clear, I'll try again if you want.

I hear the thunder. I'll come back when it's clear.

Monday, September 19, 2005



(12:09 am PT) - need a key
[link] - (indescribable)

Enter password




(12:08 am PT) - More experimenting
[link] - (indescribable)

Okay, I think I fixed the referral problem. So I'm making another locked posted after this. Please try it only from your LJs and tell me the results, thanks.

On an unrelated note, this Sunday was most enjoyable. They played three solid mysteries on the Biography channel. And I mean real whodunits, instead of thrillers pretending to be mysteries as on the Mystery channel. (boo)

Sunday, September 18, 2005



(2:46 pm PT) - Experiment status
[link] - (indescribable)

Thanks to those who've tried my password lock. Just a quick status post, mainly for myself.

fixed:
submitting through feed. The action url was relative, so getting through LJ or anything else would cause it not to work.

ToDo:
mod core so comments are protected as well.
Submitted redirects to the referring page, so if the page is anything but a blog page, it doesn't go to the right place.

All in all, I think this will work out, and it's a way to have locked post here that I'd want only certain parties to read.

Friday, September 16, 2005



(9:42 am PT) - Huh
[link] - (indescribable)

Been a few days between post, apparently. I was trying to get off that damn fic, so everything got pushed aside.

I'm debating whether I want to watch AC, or actually ::gasp:: wait for November 29th. I'm actually a more patient person. The only thing that tends to make me ansty is hearing everyone else talk about it. But on the other hand, I want to be in a settled situation and know I can enjoy it without some life-altering event happening on the horizon. (i.e. this coming move.) I'll give it a few days and see where I stand.

The other reason I'm willing to wait is I want to hear the dub without any pre-existing bias. Actually, I tend to prefer dubs anyway. And considering I've said that for YEARS, any comments blasting, insulting, or otherwise stating the inherit superiority of dubs will just be removed. I don't feel like hearing it. I get it all the time just from casual browsing. And it's not like the Japanese don't dub imported works into their own language. (Star Wars movies come to mind.) I'm sure there are Japanese fans who also prefer things in their own language, for the same various reasons I do.

But that's an old rant, so I'll get off it.

The move. Yes. It's becoming quite stressful, and certain parties are acting as if they'll break down at any moment because everything's so up in the air. And seem to wonder why I'm not more compassionate/sympathetic. One, I'm in the same boat. Two, this family has really sucked all notions of compasion out of me at a very early age. Three, I don't like to be emotional. I'm one of those that, on the rare occasions I have to cry, I'm doing it in solitude. My tears aer my own, and I plan to keep it that way.

Ugh, this post is getting pointless. I'll stop and come back when some of the wangst lets off. Sheesh.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005



(8:18 am PT) - Man-Faye speaks
[link] - (indescribable)

An interview on ANN with Man-Faye.

If I ever go to a con and he's there, I'm hugging him... then going to squick off the cooties.

Monday, September 12, 2005



(8:59 pm PT) - Give me AC Torrents, or give me death by boredom
[link] - (indescribable)

Kalli, my flist burped, because I swear that never passed through. (Or else there was a mass of yaoi_daily post that shoved it so far back I didn't think to look.)

I do remember you mentioning torrents, though. Have any on hand? (And yes, I did spoil myself for the plot, just haven't actually seen AC yet.)

And now my brother tells me there was a Zelda board game by Milton Bradly back in the 80s. When the hell did that happen?



(4:29 pm PT) - Oh, Nomura. Put the crack down
[link] - (indescribable)

So my brother's EGM arrived in the mail today, where there's an interview with Tetsuya Nomura on Advent Children. This Q&A section caught my attention.
EGM: Why do you think Final Fantasy VII fans gravitate towards characters like Kadaj and Sephiroth?
TN: It's true that in the fans' eyes, Sephiroth is very often sympathized with. At the same time, he's a character that has perfect confidence in himself, so I don't fully understand why people feel so sorry for him...

Dear Nomura. Go back and PLAY the original FF7, and get to the scene wher Seph discovered what he really is, then come back and try answering that question again.

Normally, I tend to side with the creator, because they know what the hell is going on. But this time I just can't, because honestly, the guy sounds clueless.

But the rest of that answer was somewhat interesting.
....On the other hand, Kadaj is still only a boy. If you think of the title, "Advent Children," obviously one of the film's themes is about children, the vulnerability and the difficulty of youth. The fact that he's not a man makes him quite a different villain than Sephiroth. I think that viewers will be surprised that AC isn't so much a love story between a man and a woman; instead, you experience love through the character of Kadaj....

If anyone thinks I posted the second part of that answer just to help spawn plotbunnies in Kalli's head, you'd be right.

Saturday, September 10, 2005



(9:47 am PT) - I see the light at the end of the tunnel
[link] - (indescribable)

Saying this Key fic I've been working on has been hell would be a compliment. I don't know if I'm allowed to link to the description before I finish, though I'm tempted. (And if enough people ask...) But finally I begin to see a light at the end of a dark, dank, and abysmal tunnel. I'm sure I didn't make the Key in question psycho enough, if the description is any indication, but at this point, I don't care. All I need now is a sex scene, (will I be the first to use smoke as a penetrating object, I wonder?), an ambiguous ening, and it's kaput. With 1700 words down already, I don't think I have to worry about the 2k min. (And if I do, I'll pad the lemon.)

But hell, I don't think I'm going to do another one, if I can't see the descriptions before committing myself. If I'd known first, I would have never chosen this one.

I like my psychos to have a little more depth to their insanity, thanks.

edit: Okay, after reading a few of the other descriptions, I have to rant.

As far as I can tell, when you make/train a key, you have no say in how the fic will go. All the authors are limited/restricted to is: the key's physical description, the personality if one is given, and the room itself.

So why does one of the descriptions attempt to imply what sort of masters that key gets? I know subtext. I read it well. Saying that "....he almost never gets sadists. The Palace staff know what he?s good at, and it isn?t that (besides, he practically grew up with one of the receptionists).", is a pretty heavy implication from where I'm standing. (And before anyone gets me on the punctuation of the preceding sentence, I cry British logic rules and leave it at that.)

If I want the key to end up with the Marquis de Sade, as the "owner", that should be my business. I have a real problem with "trainers" trying to add even more limitations to what an owner can do, when the whole essence of the Key games are simply to make a slave in a room, and someone writes a fic about them.

::gnashes teeth:: And it's not even the key I'm writing for, but if I'd gotten that description, you know I would've paired them up with a leather-lovin' dom in a heartbeat.

Oh yes, and just because I'm feeling bitchy, this is the key I'm writing for. And if you're curious, this is the key I trained



Friday, September 09, 2005



(6:58 am PT) - The summaries alone make me ill
[link] - (indescribable)

First and foremost, thanks for the tips, and do keep them coming. The main thing I'll start doing is cutting back on the soda, as per Moonchan's suggestion. (I can't stop cold turkey, but I'll wean myself off, definitely.) Kit, you're right about veggies and expense, but I'll look into the frozen chicken idea. Moving on...

I tend to dislike intentionally malicious MSTs, (unlike truly amusing ones as Byrdie used to do on an old fic of mine). Most times I find them devoid of humour, spiteful, and simply vindictive. That being said, it sometimes takes every ounce of willpower I have not to do MSTs of the summaries over at ff.n. Dear fates, if the summaries alone suck as much ass like they do, I can't see stomaching the fics themselves. If they can't write a decent summary, I wish they'd just KISS. Pairing and genre, that's all a lot of people need, with perhaps warnings of anything that can be considered squicky.

One big turn-off, outside of possible Mary Sue summaries, are those that seem to go out of their way to proclaim their non-yaoi status. Look, if you list the pairing, I have more than enough braincells to figure out if it's yaoi or not. If you're doing a friendship sort of thing between two males, a simple "non-yaoi" will suffice, if you even have to go that far. Stating how it's not yaoi, even if you stand on your head and blink, or saying how much you hate yaoi, is not endearing you to yaoi fans who happen to read other genres. Contrary to popular belief, there are a lot of us who do read general fics. If it's a friendship only fic, I'd be inclined to read it. If I want to read more into it, that's my perogative. I'm not going to declare your fic is yaoi. I simply imagine for myself that there's something going on in the subtext. And that should be fine.

I think many authors, both fanficcers and published, have this problem in thinking they can control how a reader interprets their story. Newsflash, you can't. You can guide their perspective on it to a degree, but you can't make them see a story the way you want to, or the way you see it. It's impossible. And frankly, I wouldn't want that to happen anyway.

Ugh, this turned into a rant. Oh well. I will continue to fight with myself not to MST those summaries, no matter how satisfying it would be to do so.

Thursday, September 08, 2005



(6:47 pm PT) - I need a laugh right now
[link] - (indescribable)

Whether this is true or not, it was good for a chuckle.

http://www.snopes.com/photos/katrina/disaster.asp



(11:05 am PT) - sporadic
[link] - (indescribable)

I owe comments. I'll try to get to them today. No promises. In fact, posting for this month, (if not straight through to December), will be sporadic in light of the unexpected move. Still, we're moving at a good time, as the most recent "neighbors" are proving to be little better than what we left behind. (Which proves ignorance, disregard, and lack of courtesy transcends race.) Mind you, this block as a whole was rather quiet, with perhaps exceptions on holidays. But you expect that, right? So I doubt if anyone else if happy with our neighbors, either.

But that's a rant for another day.

Keyfc progress has been stilted, despite my best efforts. Fortunately, minimum word req is between 2-2.5k. I have 700+ now, and it's due around the 20th. Just need to sit down and seriously bullshit.

My walking has also been sporadic, thanks mainly to the weather. I'm not happy about this. But really, I don't think it's exercise at this point so much as needing to change my eating habits. The problem? Eating healthy costs. So it's often cheaper to get, say, a hot pocket than a small pack of skinless chicken.

But if anyone has some suggestions, feel free to share them, please.

I think when I'm through with my keyfic, if I don't work on a key branch project I have in mind, I'm going to sit down and work on my Xmas list. There's some new recipes I'd like to try and share.

Days like this I wish I lived closer to some of you.

Monday, September 05, 2005



(11:17 am PT) - Just... getting it off my chest...
[link] - (indescribable)

Untitled
I feel mortality creeping in
I feel the bright lights get'n dim
The last banjo string's been hit
So what I'm gone, don't call it quits

It's how it's always been
Can't worry 'bout virtue or sin
I lived my life free
And that's how I'll die, see

Not gonna worry 'bout regrets
Not gonna cry if the Maker's met
Just handin' off this last song
I finished singing, now pass it on

I don't think I smoothed the road
Added some bumps, if truth be told
But it's still made for travellin'
Journey's worth takin' for the livin'

My memory don't need no honour
My soul don't need no spirit doctor
If you wanna do right by me
Keep on livin' like I did, please

written 1st Sept. 2005 - LN Tora

For the record, no, this has nothing to do with my previous post, and everything to do with NO

Sunday, September 04, 2005



(10:58 am PT) - Ow
[link] - (indescribable)

In random annoyances, swollen eyelid. So it hurts every time I blink.

Ow.

Am now attempting to write Keyfic. Don't know if anyone would be interested. I'm working under a handicap, so I figure producing anything will be an accomplishment. Since it's due around the 17th, I figure if I keep to 500 words a day between now and whenever I hit either the minimum word req, or the end, I'll be okay. 200 needed for today. I'll do it later. Because if there's one thing I've learned from NaNo, it's useless padding.

Friday, September 02, 2005



(4:52 pm PT) - Silver lining
[link] - (indescribable)

I don't remember if I mentioned, but we had a case with the Fair Housing Authority regarding an application denial while looking for a new place prior to the current address. Well in light of the new circumstances, they were offered an ultimatum: let us rent or give us the money to look for a new place. Otherwise, we sue. They chose to elt us rent, so even though we have to move, least we don't have to rush, and have a place to move to.

The rent is cheaper, and now we can really work on saving up some money. Me myself, I'd like to save towards one of the previously mentioned home buying programs. I know they have some in the Bay Area. I'd like to work towards that, and maybe own something before I croak.



(10:40 am PT) - Drama, why do you bother me so?
[link] - (indescribable)

I hate assisted housing. Hate it. I hate the inspections. I hate the paperwork. I hate how someone else can dictate where you have to live, and what conditions.

And now I hate it even more, because we have to move... in 1-3 months.

Apparently from what little info I have, the landlord/owner didn't get some paperwork in on time. The place failed inspection twice for problems on his end. (Our end was fine.) I thought it had passed the third time, but if he didn't do the papers, well, there you are.

He's a fast-talking, laywer wannabe ass anyway, yet he doesn't seem to know shit about owning and renting property.

I'm just not going to think about it right now. Whatever happens, happens.

I am considering looking for a roommate, someone I trust, and seeing about just living that way for awhile. They'd have to be able to pay their part on time, that's all I ask. I just don't want to do anything of the sort until I know my family won't be hurt without me. But that's the idea I'm toying with at the moment.

That, and looking into those home buying programs for the financially challenged.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005



(12:07 am PT) - Not the plugin I was working on, but it's a small victory
[link] - (indescribable)

To BTers: sorry, I know I'm holding up the plot. (However, I did ask for a summary a couple post earlier.) Anyway, the new layout will be completed thanks to a plugin I just finished, so look for that... after my dental on Thursday. This plugin will take care of that list of links that's sorta been sitting there on the right side of BT. Now, each of you will have a personal list that shows up on your profile instead. Also, there's a plugin I will install so instead of sending me an icon, you can just link to it instead. Again, I'll get this up after Thursday.

But if you want a post before then, please give me a short version of what's going on now. It's hard to follow and code at the same time.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005



(1:14 pm PT) - More on the AFF crisis
[link] - (indescribable)

The AFF thing is turning into fodder for LJDrama, (and you know how I hate that place. If you want to see the carnage for yourself, (though why, I wonder), head over here.

If you want my opinion without the gory details there, here it is.

1. Bandwidth costs. I don't care what kind of hosting and package you have, if it spikes for any reason, and it's not a DDOS attack, that's coming out of your pocket.
2. Money that was sent to Ayla's PO box was sent back. So if this were just a case of embezzling, it's a piss poor job of it if she isn't actually getting the money.
3. Current co-mods are telling people to send money directly to the hosting company. If it were a scam on their end, would they really do that?

To sum it up, AFF got too big for one person, who is now nowhere to be seen. She hasn't been getting money, at least not through her PO Box. A group of interested parties who gain nothing out of this are trying to fix some bad management that's gotten out of hand, and left them holding the bag. Why Ayla disappeared, or why she didn't have enough foresight to allow someone have admin access to the site, I don't know. But I doubt it was to take the money and run. Besides, that's not the real issue.

Ayla is MIA, AFF is in the hole, people can donate if they want.

Last I heard the balance was down to 400+. If it keeps up at this rate, I'm not too worried about it. All I will say beyond that is I hope the current mods can gain admin access to the site and start working towards better management.



(7:10 am PT) - Anthology Reply, Finally
[link] - (indescribable)

Just woke up and found an email from the Ycon anthology people. Story made it in. (I'm shocked). So the only way to read it will be to get the book.

Now I have to give a few lines about myself, about the story, and a avatar. Heh, I know the perfect one. It was drawn for me by the one of the GoH at the last con for buying four prints. Now I just have to find it.

Now if I can just write this Keyfic, which as Mirchan knows, I'm working with less than stellar material...

Mina, got the book yesterday. As I thought, it's gorgeous. I'd been wanting that one for awhile, but kept putting it off. Thanks tons!

Monday, August 22, 2005



(7:44 pm PT) - aff in trouble
[link] - (indescribable)

There's trouble over at aff.net of the financial kind. Apparently, the original owner/mod, Ayla, is gone, and the sub mods didn't have a clue what was going on. Turns out there's an outstanding balance of $1477.01 (let's here it for the penny. /?.?; ) So they're in need of donations. Sounds like they can't even get into the admin portion of the site, or else someone would've changed the news, too. (Which I thought was odd that it hadn't been changed since April.) Only reason I know is an author posted as much in a fic, just to get peoples attention. If it's still up, you can read about it here.

I can't send much now, though hopefully they can hold out until September. (And this is why I don't mind that yaoiville.net is a niche archive without the same kind of hits.)

Sunday, August 21, 2005



(8:37 am PT) - Still coding
[link] - (indescribable)

Mina, considering how late I am about said tape, trust me, you have nothing to worry about.

Ko-chan, oh please, do tell me what you read that as. I want to see if our minds are in the same gutter.

I'm very close. If I can get this to work, then whenever someone leaves a email addy in their comment, I can just reply via comment instead of spamming with a new post. ::crosses fingers::

In other news, man, I have the worst luck. I entered the latest Keyfic game, but the one I got... ugh, I wish I could trade with someone. I don't write insane psychos well, least if they're not my own. (And which is why I could never writer a YnM fic if I had to write Muraki. I can only hand my own homocidal killers, thank.)

Ah, Mirchan, got your gift! Thanks, luv, I really enjoyed it!

To BTers: sorry, the new layout got a bit delayed. Also, someone give me a quick summary? Though I think I'm going to kinda write mine out to the hall until things get a bit less chaotic/easier to follow.

::goes back to coding, mumbling like a mad scientist::

Friday, August 19, 2005



(4:57 pm PT) - Idjit
[link] - (indescribable)

Next time you strange person on the Nucleus forums want to complain about a bug in my plugin, do us both a favour. Make sure my plugin is compatible with the version of PHP you're using FIRST,

....

Ko-chan, you're always late. /^^\

Thursday, August 18, 2005



(12:01 am PT) - Birthday Omen
[link] - (indescribable)

You know the day is going to be weird, bday wise, when after midnight your brain starts looping the song/chorus, "It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to."

Brain, what are you trying to tell me?

Anyway, to answer Kit's question, when I ask if people knew how to use a wiki, I meant from the user's end. (I'd be the one installing it, so no worries there.) The reason I ask is because I had a weird, yet perhaps not weird, idea of a 'random life wiki'. You know how occasionally we post tips, some helpful, some humourous, some ranty, about things we discover while going down the hell road of life? I wanted to start collecting these from the OL people into one place. But I don't want the hassle of maintaining it alone, so I thought a wiki would be perfect.

It's not something I'm doing right this very minute, per se, but just an idle thought for now.

Well, it's late, nobody's on that I can see, so I'll play a little more LoI, (I'm searching for all the items), then crash.

::puts on Birthday hat::

Wednesday, August 17, 2005



(2:57 pm PT) - Progress of the PHP kind
[link] - (indescribable)

Was sitting here beating my head against a wall with how to even start writing a plugin that would improve the comment system here at nucleus. Then I got sidetracked, as I'm wont to do, with another plugin. To make a long story short, I was able to edit the second plugin, and in doing so, may have stumbled across a solution for my own plugin.

Ah, progress.

Kit, you know, you've been confusing my birthday for a couple of years now. /^^; It's 18th, not 19th. I'm not a prime number.

I feel better, least about the programming. Not really looking forward to tomorrow, as I don't know if I'm going to have anything to do. Maybe I'll play one of these games. Let's see, I have Arc the Lad: Twilight of the Spirits, and Samurai Legend Musashi. I'm leaning towards the latter only because i have a guide with it as well.

Eh, we'll see. For now, I've made progress, so I'm taking a break by popping in LoI and killing something.

No, brain, you still will not get Rinaldo/Leon smut. I might concede to MathiasxLeon, maybe.

Oh, before I forget. How many of you are familiar with using a wiki? I have something in mind so I wanted to know.

Sunday, August 14, 2005



(3:26 am PT) - Insomnia - 1; LN - (-3)
[link] - (indescribable)

This is me, combatting insomnia... and losing badly.

Anyway, while I'm thinking about this, I need some feedback. As most know, the commenting system for Nucleus doesn't really amount to much unless you're registered here, and I doublt everyone who reads would want to register just to get reply notices to their comments. So, I have one of two options, and I want to know which would be preferred. I can't say when I'll be able to get these implemented, but it will eventually be possible.

Option 1: manually sign up on a per-item basis if you want a reply to a comment.
Option 2: get a notice automatically if you enter your email address. (Note that I've taken all email addresses off the site, so you shouldn't get spammers from here.)

Give a thought on this, if you would. Either way should make things a little easier without my having to resort to LJ. Nothing wrong with LJ, but I need more control than what they want to give.

Saturday, August 13, 2005



(9:42 pm PT) - Replies and why I don't always make them
[link] - (indescribable)

For the record, I know I owe replies. I owe replies from probably 2003. So please note, I'm not ignoring anybody. There's a very simple reason why I sometimes don't reply.

Simple, but stupid.

I forget.

I'm not going to make excuses. I honestly just forget. I'm usually in the middle of something when a comment comes in, and with the best of intentions I tell myself that I'll answer later. And we all know about the road to hell and good intentions. So I get more and more distracted, (which without my previous meds, is sadly easy to do), until I just forget for a while. And by the time I do remember, I feel awkward at answering so late.

So don't take it personal. Don't think it's because you (or whoever) feel you're not important enough to merit my attention. It's not that at all. My OL friends and acquaintances are very important to me, usually more than my RL ones, (what little I have of them). My brain just doesn't have a good filing system in the short-term memory office.



(8:27 pm PT) - ToGet Update - August
[link] - (indescribable)

Yes, it's that time again. Update on the ToGet list. Only this time I haven't placed the orders. I'm actually doing that tomorrow. Anyway, have to keep it down to bare minimum this month, but damn, did someone decide to make October BL month or something, because it seems a lot of BL titles are coming out there...

Slightly different format, as I'm listing what I'm actually getting this month in a separate section. Things I've already ordered or have, regardless if RightStuf's actually shipped, I'm just taking off the list. Cut down on confusion that way. Everything else is just "planning to get" or "under consideration".

To Get:
(Manga)
Alone in My King's Harem (Sep)
Angel Santuary 3*
Beyond My Touch (Nov)
Brother
Cain Saga 2
Cantarella 1 2 (Oct/Jan)
Death Note 1 (Oct)
Descendants of Darkness 7 (Sep)
Devil May Cry 3 (Oct)
Fruits Basket 12 (Dec)
Get Backers 12 13 (Sep/Oct)
Jazz 1 (Oct)
Kimi Shiruya - Dost Thou Know? (Nov)
Kingdom Hearts 1 (Oct)
Kizuna 4 (Oct)
La Esperanca (Oct)
Our Everlasting 1 (Oct)
Our Kingdom (Oct)
Rising Storm (Oct)
RG Veda 3 (Oct)
Saiyuki Reload 2 3 (Sep/Oct)
Seimaden 2 (Oct)
Vampire Game 6
Yellow 2 (Sep)

(DVD)
Get Backers DVD 9 (Sep)
Gravitation OVA (Sep)
Kyo Kara Maoh! 4 (Nov)
Saiyuki Reload DVD 5 (Oct)
Star Ocean EX 1 + Artbox*
Wolf's Rain 2*

Getting This Month:
Get Backers DVD 8
Saiyuki Reload DVD 4
Art of Angel Sanctuary/Angel Cage Book
Fruits Basket 11
Get Backers 11
Prisoner of the Immortal
Saiyuki Reload 1
Seimaden
Vampire Game 5

Under Consideration:
Alichino
Antique Bakery
Daemon Hunters
Fushigi Yugi Genbu Kaiden
Under Consideration:
Gate 1
Hands Off
Kwaidan
Liling-Po
Vision of the Other Side

And once again I am broke for the month. Admittedly, I hit some unforseen expenses, not the list of which was a domain that expired, so I had to bay $15 to get it back, then another $8 to transfer it to a cheaper service. And other stuff too boring to get into.

Times like these I wish I had something or some skill I could pawn/sell.

Monday, August 08, 2005



(12:28 pm PT) - Recovered
[link] - (indescribable)

I think I've recovered from Blogathon now. However, I already noted with other BTers that if it's handled next year the way it was this year, I'll question our joining up. It was really haphazard, last minute, and that sort of spilled over into how well we handled it. Truth, it was a miracle we got through it, as most of us made mistakes in our sleeping pattern Friday night. (Plus, seems I was the only one who remembered it started at 6am PT.) So yeah, we kind of muddled through that with little sleep to begin with.

Before I go on, I'd like to personally thank everyone who sponsored us. I don't know when the emails for instructions on how to donate is going to be sent, but I suppose it will go out sometime this week. And while $70 might not seem like a lot, and I know some blogs made more, for us that's very good since we went into it on a handicap.

Hopefully next year will be better on all aspects.

Now I just have to remember what I was doing before Blogathon, and finish it asap.

Saturday, August 06, 2005



(8:50 am PT) - I'm over... there
[link] - (indescribable)

If anyone needs me, I'll be over here

Friday, August 05, 2005



(12:52 pm PT) - ::smacks self::
[link] - (indescribable)

Have I done anything remotely productive. Not effin really. I've been doing behind-the-page work over at Bryony, but even though they could be considered minor changes, it ate--no--inhaled my morning and didn't even leave me crumbs.

::smacks self again for good measure::

And because Larissa asked, (but I have to work on a way where I can respond to a non-member comment and the commentor gets an email), I'm posting this info here.

The sponsor faq, including how to donate, can be found here: Blogathon Sponsor FAQ. However if you need any help filling out the form, or even prefer I (or another BTer) fill it out for you, just leave a comment here. The only thing the form really asks if for a name (make it up/use a nethandle) and an email address. You can give a pseudo-fake email, however, once Blogathon is over, the instructions for how to donate will be sent to that email, so you may want to check it on/around the 7th, when all's said and done. The email address isn't displayed on the site, so far as I can see.

You can make an anonymous pledge so your name isn't displayed either, though as the blogger I will know. This is so nobody else will see if you don't want them to.

For our particular charity, they accept donations both online and through mail, but you don't have to really worry about donating until after Blogathon is over. (You know, in case some whim of fate decides we don't make it, then you don't pay and we feel like one-inch tall losers.)

Again, any questions, drop me a line. You can send an message via email, comment in Locuran, or comment over at BT.

Friday, July 29, 2005



(8:31 am PT) - Happies and found books
[link] - (indescribable)

First, many happies to Kalli, fellow leo and more levelheaded than I could ever be. I know you said graphics would be good gifts, but I'm drawing a blank on what type. ::beats head in::

Randomly, not sure if any one remembers me asking about a series of books back in this post, but I found them. (And thank you, Wikipedia.) It's a series of books, Warriors saga, by Erin Hunter. I'll have to look into them. I thought there was a home page for ssaid books, but I haven't located it yet.

Too early for me. I'll have a hotpocket and go back to bed.

Thursday, July 14, 2005



(3:28 am PT) - I can't doubt, even with the annoyances
[link] - (indescribable)

Mothers are the people who will help you vacuum up a spider off your ceiling... at 3:15 in the morning. Nude.

I really wish I could get over this phobia. But I don't know how. Of course, things weren't helped by having a positively evil older sister who enjoyed handing one dead cockroaches for her own amusement. But this phobia is crippling. I honestly can't stay in the same spot, so if it's near my comp, I'm SOL unless I can get someone else to get rid of it.

Though to be fair, I'm slightly better than before, if I have access to a strong enough vacuum on my own.

Moving right along, I've got a terrible sleep pattern now, thanks to summer. I'm falling asleep during the hottest part of the day, which leaves me wide awake at night. Nutters.

Oh yes, I'm going to try and include my comment form in my rss feed. However, I learned how LJ hates javascript and won't render it if it's in the feed itself. (Huh, Javascript isn't what they should be afraid of.) So I have one of two options: add an lj-cut which may or may not render anywhere else; or just let the form pop up as is. I'll have to think about it. Right now I have a plugin that may give me private entries here at Locuran, so I'm going to try it out.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005



(7:53 am PT) - WTFH?
[link] - (indescribable)

Someone explain the formula to me, where people getting bombed in London makes Bush's approval rating go up here? What, do they think the blasts knocked some sense into him across the oceans or something?

America, it doesn't have citizens, it has sheep. Which is probably apropos in hindsight, considering what herders usually do to sheep.

And for those patriotic, blind-as-bats, follow-the-herd and suck the government teat idiots ready to blast me for this, go do it in your own journal. That makes it easier for me to ignore you. This is my journal, made for and full of my opinion. One of my opinions is you have to be a real ass if you think your two bit comments on this particular subject will matter here.

Friday, July 08, 2005



(1:11 pm PT) - anime for cheap bastards
[link] - (indescribable)

Ignore the subject, I've watched too much X-play.

If you've heard of Nightwalker but don't own it, or you're just looking for something new to get into without busting your wallet, Anime Corner Store has a sale. Both DVDs, (the complete series), for 5.98. If I had 10 lying around I'd get it just for a contest prize. All info here: http://www.animecornerstore.com/nig2.html

Thursday, July 07, 2005



(7:32 am PT) - Dammit, tell me these things a wee bit sooner!
[link] - (indescribable)

And only after I've budgetted out my last dollar does GoDaddy tell me I have two domain renewals coming up. What happened to that 30 day notice, you freakin' morons!

::sigh:: Bluetumebleweeds goes on out the 15th, and yaoiville.net goes on the 20th. I guess i'll have to borrow against my con fund, since losing either one is definitely out.

If they had just told me sooner, (and I know they have the right email address), I won't be in this pickle.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005



(12:24 pm PT) - ToGet Update
[link] - (indescribable)

It has come to my attention that I didn't update my list for June. Or if I did, I didn't give it the right subject. Oh well, here's how it goes for July. Anything crossed out means I ordered it, but it has yet to arrive to my hands at this time.

Manga:
Alone in My King's Harem (Sep)
Angel Santuary 3*
Art of Angel Sanctuary/Angel Cage Book (Aug)
Cain Saga 1 2 (Aug)
Death Note 1 (Oct)
Descendants of Darkness 6 7 (Sep)
Desire
Finder Series 1 (They bumped the damn thing back to August, I think)
Fruits Basket 10 11 (Aug)
Get Backers 10 11 (Aug)
Gravitation 12
Legal Drug 3
Our Everlasting 1 (Oct) (this will be the first manga I get where I also have some scanlations, too)
RG Veda 2 3 (Oct)
Saiyuki 8 9
Saiyuki Reload 1 (Aug)
Under the Glass Moon 2
Vampire Game 4 5
Yellow 1 2 (Sep)

DVD:
Get Backers 6 + artbox
Get Backers DVD 8 (Aug)
Gravitation OVA (Aug)
Kyo Kara Maoh! 2 3 4 (Jun/Sep/Nov)
Saiyuki Reload 4 (Aug)
Star Ocean EX 1 + Artbox*
Wolf's Rain 2*

Other:
Kumagoro plushie

And after that, I'm busted. Completely. I might wind up losing weight the hard way, starvation. I blame this on the fact that while I paid my portion of the household finances, (taking care of the phone, gas, and Dtv), my brother has fucked up beyond reason. I want that guy to move, try living on his own where only he'll suffer for his inept prioritising.

"Under Consideration" (or UC as I'm lazy to type) is for things that sound like I might enjoy them either for story or art. But I'm wavering and would like any info/feedback if anyone has such to give.

UC - Manga:
Alichino
Antique Bakery
Daemon Hunters
Fushigi Yugi Genbu Kaiden (as compared to the original Fushigi Yugi, which I won't touch)
Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok

Monday, June 27, 2005



(3:03 pm PT) - AX?
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm debating going to AX again this year. Because of when it is, I could essentially do my manga shopping right there for July. But it's just a pain to get to. And considering who I ran into last year... ugh. But Tomokazu Seki is going to be there again, and I have an unopened Fruits Basket box set that would probably get a few bucks some years down with his sig on it.

Yes, I do this for money, didn't you know that?

But I'm not sure. I really hate going alone, but I don't know if anyone I know, (that I'd want to see), is going.

::debates::

Oh yes, Kit, I have gmail. Really, considering you sent me the invite for it. /'_'\

Friday, June 24, 2005



(11:32 pm PT) - I'm going to miss this
[link] - (indescribable)

Since my brother left to work at camp for the summer, several things have changed. Pepsi stays in the fridge longer. I can get ice cream and know it will be there three days later. I can keep my door open without smelling either Mj or really bad and overpowering scented oil. I'm not bugged at all times of the night for absolutely no reason at all. I can carry on conversations with the M-unit without getting interrupted or wanting to leave the room lest I grab a crowbar and smack him with it.

You know, things like that.

I'm going to miss this lack of annoyance when he returns.

Randomly, Id is cursing out SuperEgo, since SE won't let Id go to sleep until they write another 500 words on this fic.

I never knew I had that many explentives in my vocabulary for Id to use.

Music recs, make them here, please. Preferably slower things that will aid in writing. RB, hip-hop, top 40, and country burns mortal flesh, so don't hurt me there.

Thursday, June 23, 2005



(3:26 pm PT) - Whack your boss
[link] - (indescribable)

For those of you who have bosses you sometimes daydream of running over,

WhackYourBoss.com

Contains cartoon violence of the bloody kind, but isn't it better to get it out with a cartoon that actually doing it yourself? Okay, maybe not, but still...



Wednesday, June 22, 2005



(6:03 pm PT) - weirdness is my hobby
[link] - (indescribable)

Dearest friends and people of the sort, you know I depend on you for links to the funny, the strange, the beautiful, the macabre, et cetera et cetera et cetera.

That being said, I want to know who was the holdout with Xombified. C'mon, fess up. I know somebody had to have seen this before.

And damnit, it stopped on a cliffhanger. Sheesh, why do I get interested in these things.

Randomly, this post breaks my streak of posting on odd days.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005



(7:53 am PT) - *headdesk*
[link] - (indescribable)

Someone wrote me asking about some of my fics, and wanted a copy of an old Kuno/Ranma fic I'd written awhile ago. But before I could send a copy, hotmail ate the email and I couldn't find the addy anymore.

*headdesk*

All I can do now is hope maybe they'll see this and will email me again.

Sunday, June 19, 2005



(11:12 pm PT) - the day left me
[link] - (indescribable)

SNAFU

Kalli: I'm working on the guestbook now. Actually, I'm working on a gbook service, similar to my counter service, hence why it's taking me a little longer than expected. Should have it fairly soon, though.

Monday, June 13, 2005



(4:37 pm PT) - From the unpublished Book of Genism, vol 2
[link] - (indescribable)

"I'm too old to die young, and too dumb to live smart."

Thursday, June 09, 2005



(12:53 pm PT) - Slow
[link] - (indescribable)

Life is slow as I go through a creative slump, and continue to work on this website. While I usually don't complain about freeware php scripts, sometimes I really do wish I could grab the programmer and shake them into programing with proper html code if they have to hardcode anything in. Seriously, html 4 and xhtml have been out for a couple of years or more. Yet I'm still seeing html 3.2 code in some of this. Or worse, coding for IE. It hurts the brain.

Still trying to write myself out of a corner in my unfinished FFX fic, and wondering if I should continue that unfinished KH fic, even though I did label it a divergence AU, still. Playing CoM, (which I need to finish), made me forget just what my original intentions where. Maybe I should just go back and play the end of KH itself and see.

Lastly, I'm under attack by daddy long-legs. Send backup flyswatters and the vacuum brigade.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005



(7:23 am PT) - June
[link] - (indescribable)

I woke up to morning June Gloom
My wallet feared impending doom
"To much manga," it cried
but I wouldn't be denied
so we bickered this way until noon

Monday, May 23, 2005



(8:18 pm PT) - It's the corners. It's always the corners.
[link] - (indescribable)

So it finally dawns on me just why I have so many open fics out that I'm having problems going back to. It seems I've witten myself into corners and I just can't figure out how to get back out of them. I came to this realisation when I pulled out an old FF10 fic, Khepara's Wake, to try and add something to it. Sheesh, it's mocking me, daring me to try and go somewhere now that I've set up this weird situation.

So, peers, what do you do or how do you cope when you hit these creative roadblocks?

Thursday, May 12, 2005



(1:32 pm PT) - ToGet Update
[link] - (indescribable)

May's rather lightweight. That's good, since I had an unexpected PS2 purchase to make. Though I may as well list what I'm looking for in June and July while I'm at it.

Manga:
Angel Sanctuary 2
Angel Santuary 3*
Art of Angel Sanctuary/Angel Cage Book (Aug)
Descendants of Darkness 5 6 (Jul)
Desire
Finder Series 1 (still waiting for it to ship)
Fruits Basket 9 10 (Jun/Jul)
Get Backers 9 10 (Jun/Jul)
Gravitation 12 (Jul)
Kimera 1 2 (when the hell is this due out anyway?)
Legal Drug 3 (Jun) I hate this series because I know it's not finished, and I went and fell in love anyway
Passion 2
RG Veda 2 (Jul)
Saiyuki 8 9 (Jun/Jul)
Saiyuki Reload 1(Aug)
Skyscrapers Of Oz
Under the Glass Moon 2
Vampire Game 3

DVD:
Get Backers 6 + artbox
Get Backers DVD 7 (Jun)
Kyo Kara Maoh! 2 (Jun)
Saiyuki Reload 3 (Jun)
Star Ocean EX 1 + Artbox*
Wolf's Rain 2*

Obviously Jun is another "I'm broke" month. Which is made worse because I have to make up for Mother's day by getting her a Father's day gift. Sheesh.

"Under Consideration" (or UC as I'm lazy to type) is for things that sound like I might enjoy them either for story or art. But I'm wavering and would like any info/feedback if anyone has such to give.

UC - Manga:
Alichino
Antique Bakery
Cain Saga
Daemon Hunters
Death Note
Fushigi Yugi Genbu Kaiden (as compared to the original Fushigi Yugi, which I won't touch)
Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok

Tuesday, May 10, 2005



(11:09 pm PT) - I'm still breathing
[link] - (indescribable)

If anyone's wondering, I'm in the corner getting butt-pwned by PHP. But I'm making headway. It probably helps that this is my local copy, so I can mess up as much as I want and not rush to upload a backup before anyone sees it.

Plus, I have about 4 eps of gunlock, so I'm pretty content. Just have to do my manga shopping for this month.

Now when I finish coding, which should I reward myself with first, Musashi, or Arc the Lad.

Randomly, Samurai Champloo trailers scare me so far.

Saturday, May 07, 2005



(8:56 pm PT) - More random, idle spammage
[link] - (indescribable)

Just looking at FMA on CN tonight. I think it's ep 26, and the girl's name is Winry. Anyway, she and it really annoyed the heck out of me for some reason. Especially her hitting them with the wrench. I appreciate the deepening of the overall plot, but that was a side ep I could have done without far as the whole automail bit is concerned. </end random spammage>

Wednesday, April 27, 2005



(7:44 pm PT) - More inequalities
[link] - (indescribable)

Why is it practically 80% of "adult PaintShop Pro" mailing lists follow this equation:

Adult PSP group = 99% naked women tubes

Why? Where's the guys. Could use some male tubes in there, too, yanno.

Friday, April 22, 2005



(6:35 pm PT) - Boom.
[link] - (indescribable)

::snaps case shut::

DMC3 is over, including the so-called secret ending. (Was not worth the effort.) Now to go wash my brain and play DMC2.

And to go buy Musashi this weekend.

Manga and Anime faerie has finally got off their asses again.Now they bring me Under the Glass Moon 1, Vampire Game 1, Descendants of Darkness 4, and GetBackers DVD 5, the last of which completes the first box. Anyone else get a thrill at seeing an artbox reach completion?

Sunday, April 17, 2005



(6:34 pm PT) - Slow
[link] - (indescribable)

Slow Sunday. I haven't had a Sunday this slow in quite some time. I should probably have written something, but I've been looking at TV, something else I haven't done in a long, long time. (By TV I mean stuff other than anime.) Couple of Sherlock Holmes movies, The Hound of Baskervilles and The Sign of Four. I actually tend to avoid Holmes, because he is such an arrogant prick, but my mystery loving heart demanded I look. Like I said, I don't do it too often, so I think I can afford to indulge a little.

I've found some interesting music. Actually I found it last month, but forgot to mention it. The artist's name is Tycho. I've got a few MP3s, which I actually bought since I knew it was going directly to the artist. Connected to his music after playing the Shift game, second level. The first level music is okay, but I have a definitely fondness for Tycho's music. On that note, I wish they'd complete that game, or continue it, whatever. It's really visual delight, and I enjoy their selection of music so far.

Before I forget, anyone know of a file hosting place? (Like a photobucket, but for more than image files.)

Saturday, April 16, 2005



(12:02 am PT) - Late night time killing
[link] - (indescribable)

Where I find more ways to kill time while simultaneously pulling out my hair

Tuesday, April 12, 2005



(5:18 pm PT) - Denim Day
[link] - (indescribable)

I don't remember this at all. Anyone else? Oh well, it's certainly a good and easy cause. And they don't specify jean colour, so I'm all for it.

Sunday, April 10, 2005



(2:27 pm PT) - Logic and the love of friends
[link] - (indescribable)

Kalli reminded me one possible, partial answer to the broken-ness that is DMC3 is the fact that Dante isn't 100% human, so the age difference between DMC1 and 3 really wouldn't matter. I could actually buy this, but there's still some other holes to be filled, like how Sparda disappeared hundreds of years before the boys were born. The reason this is broken is because they're still half human and their mother full human. So even if they age slowly, she wouldn't. Plus since a point is made of stating they're nineteen, if Sparda disappeared so long ago, where'd he pop up at to have these two? Admittedly, Capcom could very well fix these holes inside of 6 levels. I highly doubt if it could be done well, however.

Ah, but I do love thinking about it, and discussions upon what I'm sure others my age would consider pointless and irrelevant.

Now to get off that topic, as I think I've burned ears off by now, I present for your amusement, Lemmings, the game.

Saturday, April 02, 2005



(9:38 am PT) - Hur
[link] - (indescribable)

Yes, I was hiding yesterday. I'm not thrilled about April Fool's, especially with sites that get money off me. Though to be fair, LJ was a lot calmer this year. I found the "process whining" button cute. (I'd have been more surprised to see that here at Locuran, considering.)

Well, it's April. Which means what I've been dreading since March. ::cracks knuckles and prepares to go broke:: Least it's a short month.

Saturday, March 26, 2005



(8:34 pm PT) - Ugh
[link] - (indescribable)

Thanks everyone for the comments. Slowly recovering. Still sore, actually, but I think I'll live. I'm suppose to have another Root Canal done this coming Wednesday. I'm rescheduling. I need more recovery time, especially from the emotional trauma. Because going to the dentist, even to get your teeth cleaned, is emotionally stressful. Nobody can convince me otherwise.

PSP. Yeah, I'll get it eventually. But it's not at the top of priorities. Besides, I'm happy with the DS, plus getting the PSP requires me conningvincing my brother to go in half with me.

Otherwise, nothing's been going on to really post/comment/bitch about. I think everyone who knows me knows I hit these periods. Cycles of activity, cycles of silence. No biggie, least I don't think so.

Mina: I'm actually waiting for more funds to send again. Though if you want I could send the avi files through YouSendIt for now.

No, I still haven't played DMC. Man, I'm having a mental hurdle getting over that bad plothole. Someone smack me tomorrow to play the damn thing and get it overwith.

In the meantime, I have more site tweaking to do. Off I go.

Monday, March 14, 2005



(12:00 am PT) - damnation
[link] - (indescribable)

I was collecting Keijijyou na Bokura scanlations, and waiting for (what I think) was the last part, only to find it was licensed, so mochi*mochi took off all links and such.

Was anyone able to get vol2_ch7 for that, or know where it is? (since I don't think it will actually be released until October).

Sunday, March 13, 2005



(6:56 pm PT) - most anal retentive
[link] - (indescribable)

Okay, nevermind that mostly all the characters in both anime and manga refer to him as "Yuki", this is still one of the most uptight requests I've seen on the ficrequest comm yet.
And as a random note, unless it's a character, like Shuichi, saying it, could you refer to Eiri as 'Eiri' and not 'Yuki'?
Going to go play DMC3 now.

Saturday, March 12, 2005



(7:32 pm PT) - Ye-ah
[link] - (indescribable)

Sometimes when something is extremely bad, it has to be respected for taking so much effort in being bad. So by that logic, the worst is true mediocrity. Saying that, I have three words for the anime Shinzo.

WORST ANIME EVER

If you're a Shinzo fan, don't even bother telling me what a hostile, uncouth barbarian I am, and how could I not luv Shinzo, it's so guuuud and UR just a h4ter. Please. I've seen some pretty mediocre stuff in my time, but absolutely nothing comes close to the sheer uninspiration that series represents. And I thought Slayers was bad for sticking characters into the background or spotlight.

Note to anyone considering doing an ensemble anime, if the focus is really on one character, don't bother with the supporting cast at all. Do like Cowboy Bebop, bring in a character for a couple of eps, then kill 'em off. Saves on forming great attachments.

Now to go watch something decent, like Rocky and Bullwinkle. Really, I don't know why I bothered. I knew it was going to be bad from that last time I ranted about it. I swear, me and those car wrecks, I can't stop watching them.



(10:25 am PT) - When mowing someone over on your bike becomes fun
[link] - (indescribable)

Best stress relief game ever.

Watch out for the angle up guys, the slow down guys, and the dreaded stop girl.

Friday, March 11, 2005



(10:05 am PT) - random poetry
[link] - (indescribable)

It sucks, yet I'd hate myself if I forgot it.
I saw a butterfly shadow
through my curtain drawn
suppose it's not surprising
         so early in the dawn.

yet I vaguely wondered
as I sat and stared
though I saw the shadow,
         was the butterfly really there?


Ah, feels good to get that out my head. Now I can fill my brain with unimportant stuff again.

Thursday, March 10, 2005



(9:22 am PT) - annoyed and frustrated in LA
[link] - (indescribable)

Pet peeves, really. Nothing major, nothing more. Profanity ahead, though used in a logical observation.

1. The overuse of profanity for really minor stuff. By this I mean small mishaps, (i.e. misplacing one's glasses), that result in three 'fucks' before said mishap is fixed. Or any situation that just ranges on the minor end of the scales.

It's quite alright, (far as I'm concerned), to use it for eternity and beyond in regards to major issues/situations. Break a leg? I think you're owed at least ten good fucks*, (or shits, whichever you prefer), minimum. But little stuff? It's starting to bug me of late. Really, don't sweat the small stuff, or at least not to where one has to curse like a drunken sailor about it.

2. Javascript/dhtml. Where perl and python would make me want to tear my head off, encounters with javascript, especially when I can't find a decent alternative that won't require just making a mass of html files, makes my eye twitch.

3. People asking for my advice, and either a. not taking it; or b. coming up with a thousand and one reasons why said advice wouldn't/won't work for them. My breath is precious, my fingers moreso. Don't make me waste the use of either one if you're not going to listen to me after asking me about something. If you want an ear to rant to, tell me so I can shut up and pretend to listen to you.

Obviously that doesn't apply to anyone's blog, because there I'm making a conscious decision to read anyone's journal so long as they wish to let me. And on occasions where I comment, I choose to do so, leaving responsibility of my actions solely with me. No, I mean one-on-one, directly asking for my opinion. Completely different, completely frustrating.

* and oh boy does that sound wrong.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005



(4:19 pm PT) - ToGet update
[link] - (indescribable)

Looks like all those titles under consideration will have to wait a few more. Well, I think I got one in the list. Anyway, recent order means updating the list, so:

Manga:
Angel Sanctuary 2*
Descendants of Darkness 4 †
Desire
Fake 7 (I bet you thought I'd never get that.)
Finder Series 1 †
Fruits Basket 8 (Apr)
Get Backers 8 (Apr)
Gravitation 11 (Apr)
Kimera 1 2
Legal Drug 1 2
Only the Ringer Finger Knows
Passion 1 2
Petshop of Horrors 10 (When will this series end, anyway?)
RG Veda 1 (Apr)
Saiyuki 7 †
Skyscrapers Of Oz
Under the Glass Moon 1 2 (I'm rethinking this one, seriously.)
Vampire Game 1 (The one considered title that made it.)

DVD:
Get Backers 5 (Apr)
Kyo Kara Maoh! (Apr)
Saiyuki Reload 1 + Artbox
Star Ocean EX 1 + Artbox*
Wolf's Rain 2*

Titles still under consideration probably won't be gotten until May, as April is going to be a busy (read: broke) month on the stuff I already collect.



(9:05 am PT) - blog tweaks
[link] - (indescribable)

First, updated Nucleus. Depending on how the spambots act, I may or may not use captcha commenting. (One of those 'enter the image codes' deals.) It's a hassle really, and they tend to annoy me when they use images that you can barely make the letters out. On the flip side, I'm so damn tired of comment spammers trying to grafitti my blog. Grr.

More on that: Nucleus is using a ref="nofollow" rule now, so even if a spammer gets by, search engines like google who have already implemented the rule will see the attribute, and not follow the link, thus making the whole worth of comment spamming (to get higher in the search engines) moot.

Other tweaks: I've taken off the links for usernames. So you can safely use your email if you want. Only I will see it now. All the site will print is whatever name you supply. (Also another mark against the spammers, since that's where they usually leave their cruddy urls.

Kit: I knew that sounded confusing, hence why I did it. /^^\ Actually, I was looking for PSP tubes, dragons in particular.

Dear self, please plugin the ps2 and play the [censored] DMC3 game already. It won't kill you, just highly annoy you with big farkin plotholes and character bastardisation.

Monday, March 07, 2005



(1:47 pm PT) - Hmm
[link] - (indescribable)

Three days without a post from me? Oh yeah, I know why. I was being lazy and enjoying a weekend without my sibling. He's getting into the annoying stage. He needs a roommate and to try life on the outside.

Currently I'm:
preparing to upgrade to Nucleus 3.2 with captcha commenting;
searching for codec incompatibility issues and resolutions;
preparing my manga list for the month;
convincing myself that since I bought it, I really should play DMC3;
looking for dragons.

Thursday, March 03, 2005



(11:00 am PT) - Nothing much
[link] - (indescribable)

Domino, I finally, finally, finally started working on that fic I told you I would write at Ycon. It's a start, and I barely got Vega in, but it's something. I don't want to post anything until I get your jailbait psycho further in. Billy can kill/maim me later.

In other news, I've noticed I don't write about personal aspects of my life too much of late. That's because there's nothing going on to write about. Notice also this has happened around the time I moved. Not that this place is any better, but here it's one unit with asshole neighbors. Before, it was one unit that wasn't occupied with assholes. So as I told the M-unit, it's the 1st level versus the 9th level, or better, a small scorch over a deep fat fry.

Maybe things are looking up. Granted, it's not finished, barely even begun, but this is the first time I've written any fanfiction in awhile. So who knows?

Randomly, I'm caught up on the Saiyuki I own, (versus what I still need to buy). Man, I thought the angst in the anime was bad.

Oh yes, Gravi. It became crackish around vol. 8, I believe. Serious, heartfelt, "couldn't be anymore crack without snorting it" manga crack. Yet, I'm highly amused.

I will take everyone's manga/anime comments into consideration when I go to make my monthly list. Thanks for all the opinions, they help.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005



(8:41 pm PT) - Yeah
[link] - (indescribable)

Remember when I said I'd have DMC3 in a week? Apparently the guys at gamestop don't know their own stock schedule. It came in today. I told them Amazon said it was going to be out by the 1st. Sheesh.

Anyway, it's not in my hot hands, along with a really thick gameguide. (Sheesh, I don't think KH's guide was this bad.) I can already tell that I hate the plotline, which has a big friggin' plothole in it concerning Vergil. Or maybe I misunderstood when Dante said he family was attacked twenty years prior to DMC, which indicated his brother and mother were both lost in that attack?

Whatever, this game had better make sense. (Personally, I don't care what anyone else thought, I still found DMC2 enjoyable.)

Monday, February 28, 2005



(9:53 pm PT) - Interesting conversations: #5467
[link] - (indescribable)

Mom: ::walks in:: Hey.
Me: ::staring up:: ... I need to suck this guy off.
Mom: Huh??
Me: ::points to spider on ceiling:: I need to get the vacuum and get him down.
Mom: ....

Honestly, I didn't know how it sounded when I said it.

Thursday, February 24, 2005



(5:28 am PT) - sinuses wield the whip of PAIN
[link] - (indescribable)

Upon finding out my Day-Quil was in fact made in Canada, I felt the urge to now look upon Mina as my pusher.

Speaking of which, I got the tape yesterday. I've got a lot of running around to do, so I'll probably record/backup Friday, Mina.

Man, I should so not be awake right now.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005



(7:57 am PT) - note about the Locuran LJ feed and comments
[link] - (indescribable)

Just a quick note, you're free to comment in the LJ feed for here, but know that it may take me awhile to actually see it. This is because, unfortunately, I don't get an email notice about comments in a feed. (Really, LJ should just give people options if they want such things for public feeds.) So I actually have to remember to go back and check for comments on that, something I don't do often enough.

So please don't think I'm ignoring you if you comment there. I'm not, I just don't know about it half the time.

Sunday, February 20, 2005



(5:50 pm PT) - random text
[link] - (indescribable)

he watches me, yet saying nothing
   he doesn't have to speak

things from others, words may need
I see it in his eyes

thought, hope, ideals, love

I don't know if it's all he's saying
   simply, it's enough

it's what I need to hear
it's all I need to hear

Thursday, February 17, 2005



(11:09 pm PT) - random text
[link] - (indescribable)

This is one of those "type the first thing that comes to mind" posts. It may be fiction, nonfiction, or an eclectic mix of the two. If you want to skip, go ahead, I don't mind.

-----

The only sounds right now are the howling winds and a fan motor. I can't be sure about the winds, though, so I'm forced to wonder if, when I close my eyes for that fraction of a second, does the world disappear leaving only a running fan in a void?

-----

I'm waiting for the full moon, even though the rational part of my mind, the one that's been stifling the imaginative part, wants to complain how it keeps us awake and we can't sleep when the moon is full.

Perhaps, I say, it's because we shouldn't be sleeping. That's when the presence of other worlds are most keenly felt. That's when those mythical doorways open, and we can pass through to a place that would make the stress of this reality a bad dream.

Wouldn't you rather face an emerald-eyed dragon that balance your checkbook? Wouldn't you rather bow before a faerie queen and her court than worry about bills? Would you not want to be known throughout the lands as an acclaimed storytelling/singer/poet/artist, than burden yourself with the stress wrought by the great mass of human stupidity?

"Dragons might breathe fire, I doubt if a queen would invite us to her court, and you don't write like you used to."

And whose fault is that, I wonder, as I wait for the full moon. And I know now why I can't pass through those doors. With an analytical realist like this on my shoulders, I wouldn't let me pass through, either.



(3:50 pm PT) - unnecessary frustrations
[link] - (indescribable)

the M-unit has just inform me that she's lost the atm cards, all of them, including mine that she had used to borrow some money off me. So now I have to go to the bank and get a new one, then come back and find all the online things I pay for with that card and change it over, and call RightStuff and tell them to put it on the new card.

Not a big thing, but highly annoying none the less. Annoying because it's unnecessary. If she wouldn't rush, it wouldn't happen.

::sigh::

Mina I would dearly love KKM. Fates knows I need a distraction right about now.

Just finished Fruits Basket 6. I always liked Kyo, now Haru. I feel sorry for Momiji. Yet Yuki's getting really prissy bitchy for no discernible reason that I can see as of yet, making me dislike him. Ayame as well, mainly for what he said to Kyo on page 170. (Can't Kyo ever get a break from anyone besides Kazuma and Tohru?) Shigure tends to make me twitch because he's always messing with them, Kyo especially. That, and I don't know what he's plotting, but I don't feel confident about it.

Yes, I'm rambling about manga. Sue me.

To end off a less than stellar day, I got a request about both Y'villes for Pokemon. With a mile long character list to boot. I'm going to ask the person trim it down. Surely there weren't that many main recurring characters.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005



(7:39 pm PT) - remit
[link] - (indescribable)

Dearest friends, I do enjoy when you fangirl/boy over new things. I just have one request.

If you're fan-ning over a fansubbed series, do me a favour and point to where I might be able to find it as well? I don't have your connections, and searching sometimes still gets me nothing.

Monday, February 14, 2005



(9:08 am PT) - Things and such
[link] - (indescribable)

Before I start, here's one for Amber. Hope you have a good one, and avoid random falling hearts. (Or just stab them, which is more fun.)

Let's see... oh yes, Kit, you can send them to my 'locuran at gmail' addie.

Random note, if you made a comment, then later noticed it disappeared, that's because my blacklist was updated, and probably thought said comment was spam. Sorry about that, though it doesn't happen too often.

I still have questions, I still need answers

Friday, February 11, 2005



(8:24 pm PT) - clarifying
[link] - (indescribable)

Just to clear up something from the previous post, the page doesn't have any frames. Nope, notta one. What it has is a div with a set height, and the overflow set to auto, creating the illusion of a frame. The buttons on the right jump to inner page name anchors. I tried to hide the scrollbar, but while both Firefox and IE would behave right when I did that, Netscape balked at the idea. (Go fig.)

I swear if I could, I'd get all these browser programmers and beat them over the head.

As for the frame illusion, it was the closest I could get to what I actually wanted, (the text appearing on the right side when the buttons were clicked), without 1: using an actual iframe, which isn't supported cross the board right; and 2: without using Javascript. (Can't believe I used to like that language.)

Bill, preference about the colours duly noted. I don't know if I'm going to keep them at this point, so there's hope.



(6:39 pm PT) - missed?
[link] - (indescribable)

I don't know if people just completely missed this post or what. The only alternative I can think of is it worked and nobody had a problem. I'll stick to that delusion if a day goes by and nobody tells me otherwise.

Thursday, February 10, 2005



(8:51 pm PT) - Heads up
[link] - (indescribable)

In case anyone missed it at Y.net, let me make sure I post again.

Yaoiville.org, and all sites under it, including Y.net and yuriville, will be down tonight/tomorrow at approximately 3am - 6am. (I'm assuming eastern since the machines are in pittsburg, though the dipshits didn't specify.) They claim it will only take an hour, but expect the three hours as noted there.

Someone remind me to make a status page for Y.org and Y.net over at Y.co, since that's on separate host, and I don't do anything with it anyway.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005



(3:38 pm PT) - Yes, I was actually doing something
[link] - (indescribable)

Yes, one of those ToDo was actually getting done. But I need eyes again. I checked this thing at both 800x600 and 1024x768 res on Fireox 1.0, Netscape 7.1, and IE shit--er--six. But not all comps are created equal, and nobody has the same settings. So if you would, go and tell me what's broken, (and you can see which logo got picked, too).

http://temp.yaoiville.org/ only the button links should be working. Other links won't go anywhere for now.

Also had to tweak the LJ layout, so the scrollbar on the top box was on the right for lower res users.

Next up, web jewels.

Sunday, February 06, 2005



(10:34 am PT) - Yesterday was filled with code
[link] - (indescribable)

There's some reference errors at yuriville, but you know what? They can wait.

Today I need to get my hair done, a process I despise, because I'm going to this tomorrow, even though I hate going to things alone.

Today I'm choosing a logo graphic and redoing the frontpage at Y.org. (Thanks for the comments, everyone.)

Today I'm going to finish CoM now that I know you can only have 99 map cards, something that really sucks when you're trying to get only one and you've already hit your limit.

Today I'm going to have a chicken sandwich, fries, and either Vanilla Coke or Pepsi, and not worry about the weight I'm still trying to lose.

Today I'm going to read Pretear manga, then go back and laugh, and iconise, Sasame's pimp collar in the anime.

Today I'm going to get all the anime and game music I have on my HD, put it into one big honkin playlist, and blast it if the neighbours piss me off again.

Today I'm going to grab ep one of HxH and give it a try, so Mina won't say I suck so much. /^0^\

Today I'm taking for myself and being a selfish dame.

Friday, February 04, 2005



(8:14 pm PT) - addendum
[link] - (indescribable)

Concerning the logos as mentioned previously, I suppose I should have specified that the background you see is the one I'm going to use. (Only on the front page, I don't feel like going all over the place and changing it around, but the frontpage could see a facelift, definitely.)

Hm, work, fanfics, or CoM. Decisions, decisions.



(12:59 am PT) - Need input
[link] - (indescribable)

One of the things on my ToDo list was to redesign the frontpage at Y.org. To that I figured I'd need a new title graphic. While I kept the same font, I made a few, but now can't decide which one. Some are just variations of the same, but still.

Anyway, there's 13 choices in all, and they can be seen at http://yaoiville.org/logo/. If you've a minute, could you look and leave a comment on which you prefer? (No guarantee I'll go with popular vote, but it still helps.)

Thursday, February 03, 2005



(2:12 pm PT) - Updated "ToGet" list
[link] - (indescribable)

Manga:
Angel Sanctuary 2*
Aquarian Age - Juvenile Orion 5
Descendants of Darkness 4 (Mar)
Desire
Fake 7
Finder Series 1 (Mar)
Fruits Basket 5 6 7
Get Backers 7
Gravitation 10
Kimera 1 2
Legal Drug 1
Only the Ringer Finger Knows
Passion 1 2
Petshop of Horrors 8 9
Pretear 4
Saiyuki 7 (Mar)
Skyscrapers Of Oz

DVD:
Fruits Basket set
Get Backers 4
Saiyuki Reload 1 + Artbox (Feb)
Star Ocean EX 1 + Artbox*
Wolf's Rain 2*

Monday, January 31, 2005



(1:20 pm PT) - I dunno why
[link] - (indescribable)

Dear friends, (either Lj or other)
Thank you for putting up with me. Randomly, I hate IE.
love,
LN


Friday, January 28, 2005



(5:17 pm PT) - Nothing to see here, move along
[link] - (indescribable)

ElsewhereCW, if you see this, please email me. Yuriville's 98% done, but I don't have any categories up.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005



(1:50 pm PT) - Fashion sense: 0
[link] - (indescribable)

Pretear DVD #3. The defection of Sasame. Two words.

Pimp Collar.

Yeah.

Saturday, January 22, 2005



(9:00 pm PT) - Worse part is, it's not a joke
[link] - (indescribable)

For a good laugh, read Dating Tips.

Can't believe these are real.

Thursday, January 20, 2005



(8:32 am PT) - Todo Update
[link] - (indescribable)

ToDo:
Hmph, I got one down only to have to add a new one. Suckage.

Monday, January 17, 2005



(12:08 am PT) - todo, mainly for me
[link] - (indescribable)

ToDo:
All that and I only got one thing checked off. Blegh.

Saturday, January 15, 2005



(2:41 pm PT) - I didn't know it was taboo, considering its freaking nature
[link] - (indescribable)

Randomly clicking around those with working blogs, I came across an entry from Margaret Cho aptly titled, Why must I bleed alone?

Honestly, I didn't know such thoughts still existed. Granted, my socialising is mainly done on the net, and there I see many complaints about the afflictions that often come with one's period. And so? It happens. We complain, we rant, we get hormonal, and we move on until the next round.

Some women have opted for those birth control pills that regulate it to four times a year. If that's the only reason they're taking them, just to curb their periods, to them I say "wusses".† Yes, I suffer every month. Yes, I would love to save that $5 on pads for something else. But I don't. Not because I can't, but we as humans have done too much as it is to try and control nature. I'm drawing the line at my own body to that extent. (Besides, enduring the cramps strengthens my pain threshold.)

My biggest problem had to be with the woman Ms. Cho mentioned, who thought just because she didn't have any problems, then nobody else should. I suppose she's of the male oriented way of thinking that it's all in our heads. I suppose it's truly impossible that, being how the collective is still made up of individual beings, that the odds of having completely unique patterns and symptons with one's period might just occur in the great scheme of things.

Bitch.

My cramps are real. My moods are real. My short temper is real. And as much as I wish it wasn't, my queasy stomach is real. And I will talk and rant and complain when it happens, then heave sigh of relief when I can wrap the lasp pad and toss it away for the next 28 or so days.

And if anyone, male or female, doesn't like it, scram. And be happy I'm not prone to discussing it in public the way I'd like to.

†(This does not apply to those taking it for more serious conditions, and the regulated periods are just a bonus side effect.)



(11:37 am PT) - Backup blogs
[link] - (indescribable)

I have some peoples non LJ blogs, but not everyone. So if you have one, drop me the url. I'll add it my my link page so I can keep up with those who can manage without LJ.

Friday, January 14, 2005



(3:52 pm PT) - Oopsies, random stuff, thankees
[link] - (indescribable)

Kalli, your package arrived today. Much Pretear ♥! Thank you! (Now if that last DVD would get here, I'd be saturated in Pret goodness.)

This calls for a list update. Of course, I did this after paying a visit to Amazon to see what my recs were, so instead of it getting any shorter, the damn thing got longer. (No worries, Ko-chan, I just get the recs, I rarely buy from Amazon.)

* = taking my sweet time

Manga:
Angel Sanctuary 2*
Aquarian Age - Juvenile Orion 5 (Feb)
Descendants of Darkness 4 (Mar)
Desire
Fake 7
Finder Series 1 (Mar)
Fruits Basket 5 6
Get Backers 7 (Feb)
Gravitation 10 (Feb)
Kimera 1 2
Legal Drug 1
Only the Ringer Finger Knows
Passion 1 2
Petshop of Horrors 8 9
Pretear 4
Saiyuki 7 (Mar)
Skyscrapers Of Oz

DVD:
Fruits Basket set
Get Backers 4 (Feb)
Saiyuki Reload 1 + Artbox (Feb)
Star Ocean EX 1 + Artbox*
Wolf's Rain 2*

Slowly but surely, I'm catching up. (Course I'm living off noodles for the rest of this month...)

Apparently the place that houses LJ's servers is having power trouble. In short, the power's out. While this doesn't affect Locuran in the least, I can't see the flist anymore.

Times like this I wish I could house all my friends' blogs here, or everyone got a GJ for backup purposes. (hint hint)

Edit: Power's back, but I don't envy them the job of bringing 100+ machines back on. I wonder if this is an omen of LJ having been sold to Six Apart?



(2:45 pm PT) - Flimflam and todo list
[link] - (indescribable)

So the M-unit called the mortuary where we were told the service would be held tomorrow. Turns out it's going to be somewhere else. I don't know if this was an unintentional or deliberate mix-up, but final decision: I'll go view (not) the body and sign, just so the snotmongers can see my name in the book.

And then, screw 'em.

ToDo: Gah, it'll never end.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005



(3:42 pm PT) - Package from Moon-chan
[link] - (indescribable)

Moon-chan, your package arrived today. Thank you!



(9:36 am PT) - Nostalgia Week reminder
[link] - (indescribable)

Friendly reminder that Nostalgia Week starts this Saturday. (I would have to go to that dumb funeral, too. Maybe I can back out.) So pull out (and in some cases, dust off) those old anime/manga/games you haven't experienced in awhile and pay them another visit. Also, if you're so inclined, pass the world along in your own journal/mls/whatever.

Kit: FMA OP - First season, I'm guessing/assuming. I don't know the name, just the one I hear on CN. (Miraculous, since they don't seem to be in a habit of even playing the OPs most times.)

Monday, January 10, 2005



(6:51 am PT) - I should really finish my projects
[link] - (indescribable)

I'd forgotten that I'd started to work on some tarot card designs. This was apparently back in 2003. I only got three of the major arcana done, from the looks of things. I'll probably only do the major, unless I'm extremely motivated or it's requested, both highly doubtful. Now I have to go find that Rider-Waite interpretation, even though mine wasn't going to look much like a Rider-Waite deck. Body/people designs were kept simple/minimal, with the focus and thus meaning derived from the colours being used.

Let's see if I can finish this... along with the other dozen plus projects I have.

Actually, I just need better project management. What to first out of all I have, and complete it before moving on. ::sigh:: Face it, I'm scatterbrained.

And I really should not be up this early, so let's see what going back to sleep will get me.

Sunday, January 09, 2005



(3:05 pm PT) - If I don't want to connect, then my wishes should be respected
[link] - (indescribable)

I don't understand, but I don't feel I was wrong. Still, opinions on this are highly welcomed.

Remember back here when I mentioned my sperm-donor passed away? Well mom managed to get in contact with an uncle, who gave her the number to my "siblings." Now first off, I cannot and will not see these people as "brothers and sisters," simply because I'm almost thirty, and I did not grow up or around them. I didn't know about any of them until I was in my mid twenties. So I don't feel any familial bonds. Those kinds of bonds have to be formed and maintained as a child, I think. I don't believe I should be expect to somehow magically have any sort of emotion based on what is relatively an accident of genetics. I could have been related to anyone in the world. Fate just dealt the dna as it did.

So it was with some not-so-slight irritation that I found myself talking to a sibling, who kept insisting that my "brothers and sisters" should get together and talk or what have you. As I tried to explain to him, I'm a difficult person to get to know. Plus, I have a deep love affair with my computer. My hobbies are on it. My work is on it. My social circles are on it. And I don't feel like changing any of that. So it stands to reason that I only leave it when it's necessary. Going to meet a group of strangers doesn't fall into that category.

It gets worse. On the initial call on Saturday, I really only wanted to know when and where the service would be held. I wasn't given that info. I don't think he had the info. I don't know if the man even had insurance or what was going on. Second, I felt it necessary, (even though I was certain they already knew), to tell him of my name change. Not only did they know, but he said something along the lines of "needing to talk about that." Excuse me? That's not a topic open for discussion. And not like I'm changing it back for anyone. When I tried to explain my reasons why, in that I didn't feel I owed the sperm-donor that much allegience or honour, I'm told, "it's not about him, it's about family."

My family consists of four entities. My mother, her son, her youngest daughter, and my computer. I plan on keeping it that way.

So he's constantly trying to get me to come over Saturday to "hang out with the other kids." (Needless to say I don't like that term, because 1. I'm not a kid; and 2. I'm not the sperm-donor's kid.) I tell him call me today.

Cut to today, when he calls in the morning and asked if I wanted to "ride" with him to go tell another sibling, because she doesn't know, and they don't have her phone number. I know she lives a bit aways from me, but I'm willing, more or less. However, while they tend to know each other to a certain degree, I don't know any of them, and vice-versus. So I ask if my mother, who knows more about that family than I do anyway, can come along. She was even willing to bring a cake along.

Here's the first sign of trouble, (if you don't count that remark about discussing my name). First he said, "well I was really just expecting us kids." Then he implies there might be a room issue. Ah, but I didn't have all the info before...

I told him I'm available for the afternoon, but I want to be back by six. We agree for 1pm, and I tell him to call me before he leaves. Well, he calls at 1:40, blithely asking if I'm ready. I inform him that he's in fact late, to which I get the glib excuse of his running a little late. (A little late is 10-15, not 40.) And then the bomb drops, because I'm told I'm being picked up, the other sib is being picked up, and we're going to freaking San Bernadino. And for those who have no idea what that means, suffice it to say it's an hour to an hour and a half ride away from my current location, depending on traffic. Well, it's Sunday, it's wet, and Cali drivers don't know how to drive in the rain. I'm guessing it would take the ninety minutes.

So instead of a simple ride to inform another sibling, as I was led to believe, I'm now told that I'm to be taken to SB, just to hang out with these other sibs. I asked again about mom coming along, and was told about the space issue in the car. But wait, if I'm being picked up, and just one other sibling, then if we add mom, that should only be four people.

Is it smelling fishy, yet?

Add to this that it's already been indicated that certain parties want to "discuss" my name change, and the overall feeling of trying to get me way out somewhere alone, and it has all the makings for some serious disaster. In short, it smelt like a supreme set-up, and I didn't go. He claims he doesn't understand the problem if he'll have me back before five. By this time it's 1:50. You're going to get me, get someone else, go on a ninety minute ride one way, hang out, come back the same ninety minutes, and have me in by six? What would we do, hang out for five minutes?

I don't think I was wrong, and when she heard about the line of needing to discuss my name change, mom was glad I didn't go either. I'm probably being called a snobbish bitch, but that has al the impact of tossing a dead flea at me. But what's general consensus? Should I have handled it better?

Friday, January 07, 2005



(9:32 pm PT) - 2004 meme
[link] - (indescribable)

I forget the name of the meme, but instructions are: Post the first sentence from the first entry of each month in 2004. So let's see what we have.

Jan: Warning signs that the new year may turn out to be as craptacular as the last:
Feb: This part was posted at another place, hence the bit about spamming.
Mar: So I spent all day crocheting a scarf, forsaking the computer up until 4pm PT.
Apr: Okay, so apparently I am teh sick.
May: So I haven't written here in a week.
Jun: It appears xxxHOLIC is tied into Tsubasa, RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE somehow.
Jul: I'm going to move Yaoiville.org in a couple of days.
Aug: Okay, IE, that's it.
Sep: Okay, I know two asked for one but I need an email to send the invite to.
Oct: Having posted since Thursday, huh?
Nov: I'm home.
Dec: I just discovered something about myself a minute ago.

Things I've noted: I start too many posts with either "so" or "okay".

Wednesday, January 05, 2005



(8:35 pm PT) - list update
[link] - (indescribable)

Ordered massive stuff today, so thought I'd update my list for my own use.

Manga:
Angel Sanctuary 2*
Aquarian Age - Juvenile Orion 5 - not out until Feb
Descendants of Darkness 2 3
Fake 7
Fruits Basket 2 3 4 5 6
Get Backers 6
Gravitation 9
Petshop of Horrors 8 9
Pretear 2 3 4
Saiyuki 6

DVD:
Get Backers 3
Pretear 4


Slowly but surely, I'm catching up. (Course I'm living off noodles for the rest of this month...)



(3:47 pm PT) - Random words of wisdom, not my own
[link] - (indescribable)

So an incident came up today, that left me going through a gamut of emotions, and not many I was happy with. The M-unit, in her eclectic wisdom, handed me the Quotionary book, and sat down as we went through a few subjects that more or less covered the situation. Actually, some covered that, others I felt should be shared, period. So that's what I'm doing. I'm sharing. And after reading and writing them, I can say I'm calmer, though I'll probably keep to the decision I made.

Anyway, the quotes.
Cut for length


(10:32 am PT) - Weird Reality
[link] - (indescribable)

Before I get knee deep into this particular post, some replies.

First, thanks for all the ant suggestions. I'm going to start with the link from Kalli just because those items tend to be cheaper than actual poisons. However, I'm not above using poisons, so Moonchan, if you remember the name, I'd appreciate it.

Mina: I'm very happy your package made it there okay. And surprised, since you're the first person I heard from. (So I'm guessing you got yours first, weird.) And I thought I sent an email about the fic, but guess it was eaten. So just to recap, I was quite happy with it, and think you did a wonderful job. As for the CD, little problem there... it's been misplaced. I know the general area of where it is, just not the exact location. Should hopefully find it today.

Now then, to the weirdness. It seems my sperm-donor died last Sunday. By all real accounts, I wouldn't have found out if my maternal aunt hadn't called my brother. I'm not close to my father's family at all, thanks mostly to his own doing.

What makes this weird is that neither my brother nor mother were sure about telling me the news at all, and really, I don't understand why. I was never close to him. He saw to that. He had a distinct gender preference to his sons, and even there, he was a rotten father. So really, I don't feel anything about the news, and I don't get why either thought I'd react any different than what I did.

I do regret one thing, I don't think I'll make it to the funeral. The only reason I'd go, however, isn't a nice one. I want to see just how badly people are going to lie and say what a "good person" he is, while contemplating the notion of going up and saying the truth. (I'm sure they'd kick me out of the church, but there you are.)

So I'm down to one living parent, though in all honesty, all I ever had was the one. And while she can frustrate me to hell and back, I do appreciate her being in my life.

Saturday, January 01, 2005



(12:27 am PT) - Seen one, seen em all.
[link] - (indescribable)

Dear '05,
It's bad enough what you represent to me agewise. Please don't fuck me over in any other aspects, mmkay?

If anyone's looking for me, I'm indulging in KH: CoM. I haven't played a decent game for months, and after December, I think I'm due. Besides which, I had it for a couple of weeks, but refrained from playing until most of the packages were shipped. So no, well, email me if it's important.

Thursday, December 30, 2004



(4:01 pm PT) - Finally, and general/random stuff
[link] - (indescribable)

The world's going to hell, and I realise how shallow I am.

Yet after a few days of silence, the only thing I can post about is my elation at FINALLY getting this stuff shipped out today. Most of it anyway. (10/12) But the last two I don't think know I wanted to ship, and I don't have their addies, so I'll do it next week. Speaking of which, Bill T. Radish and ElsewhereCW, if you get a moment to spare, would you send me your snaddies over here? Much appreciated.

I can't grasp the rising numbers. I fell silent because a writer I know lives in Malaysia, and I was simply waiting. (I should have said something, but I'm actually hesitant to speak of such things. ) But someone on her ML has heard from her, and she's okay.

I don't have much to spare moneywise, but I'm going to see if I can do something. Unfortunately, I'm also confused, because some LJ posts with various links mentioned donating money and supplies, (which would be easier for me to do). But the news last night said don't send supplies, just money. Makes me wonder who do I believe? (Though my disenchantment with the media over theyears is obvious, I'm certain.)

I've been lousy with replying to comments, for which I apologise. Last few days especially just left me feeling down. Down about some friends, down about my situation, people, and life in general. Wasn't a mood I wanted to hoist off on anyone else, even in my journal. It's getting better, and social life or no, I think a night to get smashed and forget for a few hours is owed me. (And if it's not owed to me, I'm taking it anyway.)

So many fics I've never finished. If you tend to read my stuff, please comment on something you wish I'd finish already. Anything that seems to get popular votes (if that many people speak up) I'll work on after New Years.

Domino, your fic, have not forgotten.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004



(4:31 am PT) - This is what happens after eating cold lasagne before bed
[link] - (indescribable)

The dream I just woke from demands to be recorded for prosperity.

Apparently, god is a little boy with no arms, missing one eye, and lives under a neighbor's home.

You don't know this at first. You know there's something special about the kid, your neighbor has admitted to as much, but you don't know the scope of it as you walk around every day. All you do know is he was abandoned, yet doesn't want people to see him, so he hides there, and the neighbor brings him food. You know he'll answer questions, though you don't know how or why he got so smart.

You don't realise that he's god, until you go through a series of events and fights, the last being aboard a ship that counts down the time to a planet's armageddon. Inside the ship is water and flora, mainly the latter, and you fight the froggy race people who live there, or complete one of the flower puzzles. If you complete all the challenges, you earn the privilege to see god. You're transported away, only to find yourself back in front of the neighbor's house, staring at the grating that leads to the boy.

And if you're me, you cry, because you realise how hard it must be for that kid.

The neighbor comes out and verbally blasts you, saying the boy can hear you. He thinks you're crying for something else, maybe fearing what the kid looks like, because you don't know at this point. You explain that's not it, why you were crying, then add that, if he is god, wouldn't he already know why you're crying?

Then you crawl under the grating, and if you're me, you keep your eyes closed. The voice you hear is definitely not that of a child. It's a man's voice, one who's seen it all. You explain that you're eyes are closed because you don't want to do anything stupid, or fear losing your mind. You ask him that, if you do wind up doing something dumb like gasping in fright, will he forgive you. He's very nice about the whole thing and says yes. And when you finally pluck up the courage, you open your eyes, and that's when you discover about the arms and no eye, because your neighbor didn't tell you the specifics. He may not have even known. And you become determined as you ask god why does he hide away, to which he says he didn't want to be a burden, and he hides because he didn't want anyone to see him have to eat like a dog. You start babbling away about prosthetics as you pull off your scarf or coat to drape over him. And you know what you feel isn't pity or sympathy, but just a desire to help this boy come out so he can see the sun.

And you forget the questions you were going to ask, like why you went through all the fighting to get there, what's the deal with the ship, or the meaning of life. It's no longer important, not compared to helping him see the light again.

And then for some reason, before you get to the interesting part, your brain wakes up because you have to go to the bathroom.
/¬.¬\

Thursday, December 16, 2004



(10:45 pm PT) - Xmas meltdown
[link] - (indescribable)

Don't mind or miss me. I'm doing that frantic mad scramble thing to get everything mailed out this coming Saturday.

::thunk:

Friday, December 10, 2004



(12:34 pm PT) - Tired
[link] - (indescribable)

I've been walking at 15 minutes a session for the last four days now. I'm starting to feel thigh burn. I hope that's a good thing.

The soon to be new LJ layout is coming along, even though I hardly use it. But still, I think I need a change when I'm looking at my flist. The hard part will come in trying to make it in the S2 format. I'm sure that's going to be loads of fun, since for the control I want, I'll have to go into the actual programming of it. So not looking forward to that.

If anyone wants a preview of the potential layout so far, holler.

Might as well get dressed to get the last of the supplies. I really wanted to send along a soup starter mix in with everything else, (nice layered effect in the jar), but doesn't look like that's going to happen. Oh well, I guess I'll save it for later.

Am emotionally beat. Don't know why. I'll contemplate over a nice cup of hazelnut coffee, extra strong.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004



(11:59 pm PT) - Damn these whims and addictions
[link] - (indescribable)

I hadn't planned on buying Chain of Memories this month. I really didn't. I wanted to try and get out as many of these gift packages to everyone as possible. But damn my eyes, there was a Game Crazy right on the corner where I had to catch the bus to get home.

Damnit. I don't have that much willpower.

But, I refuse to play it. Not until things are done and shipped. See, I know if I start, nobody n my list will get anything until I finish the game. So yeah, bought it, not opening it. But feel free to spoil me if you get to any depressing parts, because I don't handle angst well unless I know there's a happy ending.

In other news, can someone tell me how to stop Firefox from constantly bringing up the find bar when I'm typing? I wonder what genius decided to make the apostrophe key a frigging keyboard shortcut.

Amber: I'll send that email tomorrow. I was out most of the day, hence why I didn't get back to you in a timely manner.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004



(9:39 pm PT) - I need to check my own lists twice
[link] - (indescribable)

I miscounted my Xmas list spectacularly. Seems I have 12 people on it. So yea, some are going to be late. Sorry.

Ko-chan: Got the card. Should I call you obaasan now? /^^;;

Amber: If/when you're free to check over the fic, let me know, though I'd like to get it in before the deal at Lulu.com goes off.

Nothing interesting in this post, really. I'm going to a new psychologist tomorrow. Hopefully this will work out. It's my third one inside of five years, I think. Otherwise, have a fic to write for Domino, and continue to work on these gifts. Had a setback with the pecker pops, but nothing that can't be fixed. ::grumbles about food paint::

Had a few moments of reflection that I thought about posting, but changed my mind. I think I'll try and keep this month light. I don't know why, but seems the heavy thoughts are a tad out of place, and I don't necessarily mean for the holiday season. But if I need to get it out, that's what private posts are for, yes?

This weekend for sure, I'm sitting down and looking at the DVDs I've had since forever and have not watched. I will finish Mirage of Blaze, damnit. Oh, wait, KH: CoM is out... never mind. If I buy that, I already know what I'll be doing.

Nutters.

Monday, December 06, 2004



(12:27 pm PT) - Pecker popped perfection
[link] - (indescribable)

I started those naughty little pecker pops today. Looks like I can squeeze ::cough:: four out of one bag of melts. I think I have 9 people in total I'm sending something too, so three days should cover it, I think. Then again, I should know better about being optimistic.

A warning, I may be late with a couple of people. Shipping costs, and the supplies are gnawing on the seams of my wallet. But I will get to everyone I want, just not all before Xmas.

Oh yes, Kit, no, don't have BnSH. Meant to but it's a bit down on priorities simply because that's something best watched with a group, versus just having a copy at home.

For some reason, the M-unit freaked out when she saw the pops in the first stage. I guess I got the flesh tone right. /^o^\

Saturday, December 04, 2004



(1:46 pm PT) - One belt down, two to go
[link] - (indescribable)

Finished one belt. Took a picture to give you an idea of what it's going to look like. This is just the body, as I haven't yet to figure out how to make it tie up/buckle. (I would go with fringe, but Mirchan warned me that the fringe on hers came undone, though the body's intact.

Anyway, the belt

Just a reminder, $15 gets a gift box sent to a person of your choosing. I'm going to take pictures as I make these things, but a basic box will have the following:

Bath Jelly
Bath Salt
Bath Cookies
Bath Oil
Body Powder
Soaps
Winter Solstice drink mix
Penis Pops

I'm looking into a recipe for a chickin soup starter mix, but depends on my funds right now.

Feel free to pimp this to your heart's content.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004



(5:48 pm PT) - ughguhmrph
[link] - (indescribable)

My flist isn't moving, and some people have dropped off the face of the earth. I'm tempted to make up some wanted poswers using their default LJ icons or something.

(That's me, procrastinating spectacularly on the last 500 words to a rushed fic ending, by the way.)

Thursday, November 25, 2004



(4:35 pm PT) - Sometimes you shouldn't put in notes, it turns readers off
[link] - (indescribable)

The following was found in the beginning of a fic that I didn't bother to read afterwards:

"I have read so many (I am a drooling obsessive yaoi fan girl...pity me e_e) where it was so corny and I just HAVE to roll my eyes, either because of quickly expressed emotions like 'even though it was their first meeting, as he waved goodbye he whisper "I'll love you for all eternity', overly exagerated emotions, OOC (out of character for the computer illterate people), or just because the words were to simple like 'the tree swayed.' and it should've been 'The cherry blossom tree swayed gracfully in the cooling breeze. As petals feel from its outstretched branches a warm feeling began to take control of him. It seemed as if the sun itself had finally began to warm his soul.' see...something like that. Or it was just all fluffy sap. Now if you like this I am sorry, different strokes for different folks"

It's the last bit that gets to me. Someone should tell this person that purple prose is not a good thing. If the tree swayed, then where the hell did the rest of that malarky come from?

As I said, I didn't bother reading the fic itself. Why should I, when I have a very good indication of what type of writer I'm dealing with? /¬.¬\

Wednesday, November 24, 2004



(9:08 pm PT) - dusty
[link] - (indescribable)

::looks at journal, dusts it off, sneezes::

I think when I hit 50k, my brain shut down. That's the only excuse I have for going so long without even a SNAFU post.

Not that there's anything to post about. Fic still isn't finished. Hopefully I'll get to work on it tomorrow, since thanks to certain parties sucking the mother-unit dry, our turkey day is happening Friday. Actually, I couldn't care either way. My idea of a nice thanksgiving dinner involves chili dogs, fries, and free flowing soda.

Me and tradition never did get along.

There was something else I wanted to say, a meme I think, but damned if I can remember now. ::shrugs and goes to read Kyou-centric Furuba fics::

Thursday, November 18, 2004



(12:50 am PT) - Ugh, make it end
[link] - (indescribable)

Note to superego: not making your word count, especially when you've really ahead of schedule, does not make you an irredeemable worm unfit to crawl on the earth. So please don't use that tactic again, kthx. - Ego

So let's see if I have to correct. Xmas list: Domino, Ki, Ko-chan, Koi-chan (right, Ronda?), Mina, Miracle, and Shara-chan. Ki, Ko, and Mina wanting rainbow belts, and Shara avoiding any products tested on animals. (Actually, since I use a lot of food products, I think that's usually avoided.)

If you're not there, speak now or hold thy tongue.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004



(7:53 pm PT) - pecker pops
[link] - (indescribable)

My penis candy molds came in the mail yesterday. Watch as I cackle insanely while holding them up for inspection.

One set is just regular, no frills pecker. Ah, but the other is peckers in tuxedos.

I'm going to have so much fun.

I've said it before, but just to make sure: If you were on my Xmas list last year and you want to be on it again, (or if you just want to be on it period, and I know you), please email me your snail mail addy, because it was lost back in May and the great HD Death.

I believe I have the following people on my list: Domino, Mina, Miracle, and Ko-chan. Domino, I might need your addy again, though. I lost a few emails last week, and I think that was among them.



(2:28 pm PT) - unnecessary drama
[link] - (indescribable)

Well there's a big bruhaha over at the yaoi_daily comm. Seems the mods wanted to put a new rule in place that would limit posting of license and scanlated, unlicensed manga. Nobody disagrees with the change regarding licensed manga, but of course the scanlations are another matter entirely.

One person suggested they take a head count (poll) and actually see how many people want to keep scanlations going the way it has been. Others, myself included, think a second comm devoted to scanlations would work as well.

The first should have been done prior to the rule change, IMO. The second should not be a problem. But for some reason, there's one mod who feels rather strongly about not doing that, and has threatened to quit.

I'm not going to comment on that, because it won't sound right no matter what I say.

What I will say is, if this rule is forced, then a second comm will be created irregardless, because there's too many people who want to see the scanlations. It'd be better if the mods created it themselves so they can keep hold of it. But since this is LJ, and anyone's free to make a comm, that second community will come, be it a sister affiliate or no.

I'm upset at the line of thought that some people are taking in regards to IRC. They learned it, others can too, and people are just being lazy.

First, not everyone has identical situations. Two, some people can't learn it. They barely know how to surf the net, and this is making it mandatory to learn a whole new program, or else give up on scanlations altogether. Three, even if everyone were able to learn, there's people who only access a comp from a school lab or work, and can't install a new program. Four, even downloads aren't a viable options, since again, not everyone has their own comp, and there's just not enough free storage places to go when dealing with a comm of 2000+ members all trying to get the same file.

My prediction: Either the rule will be altered so scanlations can stay, or another comm will pop up. I'll keep my eye out, offer any assistance I can, and just wait for this to blow over.

Monday, November 15, 2004



(11:11 pm PT) - Make it stop
[link] - (indescribable)

Someone make NaNoWriMo end.

Or just mke my fic end. That would be nice.

Saturday, November 13, 2004



(4:32 pm PT) - Ugh, can't believe I wrote that
[link] - (indescribable)

I've succeeded in grossing myself out. I decided to share, and subsequently grossed my brother out as well. So to those who are keeping up with my NaNoWriMo fic, here are your options:
1. don't think about eating before, during, or too soon after reading it.
2. develop a good constitution while putting your imagination into storage.
3. don't read it.

I don't think missing that part will have too much impact on the rest of the story. Or I could give a summary later. But I just want to make sure everyone's got fair warning. (Truth is, I wanted to make it worse, but I had to stop. Stephen King I'm not.)

If I'm lucky, I'll have that up something late tonight.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004



(6:00 pm PT) - Always something.
[link] - (indescribable)

If you have a domain name, or are considering getting one in the future, this bit of information might interest you. I received it from my current webhost, who I'm happy with, has been very great, so I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt in the credibility factor. (I haven't verified this personally. I will when NaNoWriMo's done.) Still, it's much too plausible. Plus it's better if you just go ahead and lock your domain now whether it's true or not, just to keep a little stress out of your life.

Anyway, the story as I got it:
-----
A new policy set by ICANN (Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers) will become effective on November 12th, 2004. This new policy states, that all requests for domain transfer will be accepted within 5 days, unless explicitly denied by the domain?s current contacts, or the domain is locked from transfer.

What does this mean? When transfer request for a domain is made (this does not include all TLDs but does include .com, .net and many more) a verification emails are sent to the administrative and technical contacts listed in the current domain registration.

Prior to November 12th, 2004 the verification email had to be approved in order to set the transfer in motion, this meant, if the owner did nothing, the domain would not change hands.

This default behavior has been changed, and the owner will now be required to explicitly deny the transfer to prevent it from happening. If you neglect to deny the transfer within five days, you stand to lose your domain.

There are two things you can do to prevent this:

1) Keep your domain contact information always current. Use an email address that you check mail on, on a regular basis.

2) Set a lock on your domain. This can be done from most registrars. It?s a simple switch you can set, to automatically deny any domain transfers of any kind.

A little precaution can prevent a lot of frustration later.


Tuesday, November 09, 2004



(6:46 pm PT) - Damnation
[link] - (indescribable)

Tonight's scream of frustration is brought to you by the fact of my being out of practice in regards to writing a decent, slightly non-con sex scene.

mew

In other news, Chewbacca gets role in a DB movie.

The universe is flipping over, just so you know.

Saturday, November 06, 2004



(9:28 pm PT) - FMA, spoil me
[link] - (indescribable)

FMA 1: interesting.

Now someone tell me what happens to Al before I get too deep into this.

Friday, November 05, 2004



(10:41 am PT) - Just out of curiousity
[link] - (indescribable)

Just how friggin' depressing/angsty is Fruits Basket?

Oh yes, Kit, nevermind about Saint Beast. I'll just have to get one of those badly subbed discs, because raw does me no good, yet I can't find any torrents anywhere, and dc++ failed me.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004



(6:24 pm PT) - civic duty done
[link] - (indescribable)

If you're in America and you still have time: VOTE

If you're not in America: PRAY

If you've already voted, then irregardless of which way you voted, thank you.

If you had a good reason for why you couldn't, though you wanted to, that's okay. Life can get to the best of us.

And if you didn't just because you didn't feel like it, or some other feeble excuse, please go somewhere and choke on your vomit, kthx.

I'm not going to listen to that "My vote doesn't make a difference" crap. And if we get another four years down the crapper, those in the last group had better not ever think of complaining around me.

I have a lovely, and very sharp dagger from Ycon, and I would love to use it. That would be a good reason to in my book.

For the record, yes, I voted.



(10:21 am PT) - For the record...
[link] - (indescribable)

Get Backers DVD dubs:
Natsumi: Okay
Paul: Pretty good/I like
Hevn: S'kay. It fits.
Himiko: Little too old/deep
Akabane: Too thin and nasally. Trying too hard to be creepy. They should've got an English accent, methinks. (Update: he does say one line very well. If he could stay in that zone, he'd be good.)
Ban: Not bad/I like
Ginji: OOOOMMMGGGGNOOOOOOOOO!!!!! It's too freakin' deep! Doesn't work! No no no no no. WHY is it lately that they keep making rather higher pitched voices deeper when they dub it?

Also, to whoever decided to make it in HD format, um, I don't have a HD tv, so I don't appreciate the friggin' black bars. I'd like a choice, thanks. So make it possible to choose between regular and HD. Those black bars are annoying. HDTV is not popular (or cheap) enough to load it into dvds like that, okay?

::goes back to wailing about GInji's voice::



(9:21 am PT) - No, not a report yet
[link] - (indescribable)

The con report might be awhile in coming. Just know I enjoyed myself, and bought more stuff than I have room for.

Okay, have to finish clearing the massive pile of junk that is the goods I brought from Yaoicon. And dare I mention my streak of going to the con and returning without any Gundum Wing stuff is still going strong.

Must... start... NaNo...

Monday, November 01, 2004



(7:13 pm PT) - For the curious
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm home. Just tired, so all replies will happen tomorrow. To the NaNoWriMo group, consider us officially starting as a group tomorrow. Mirchan, if you're around, let me know.

Oh yeah, Kit, don't forget. Saint Beast. That is all.

Monday, October 25, 2004



(12:58 pm PT) - Needing fix
[link] - (indescribable)

Anyone seen (or better yet, have) the Mirage of Blaze OVAs that came out this year?

Saturday, October 23, 2004



(9:04 pm PT) - Not likely my thing
[link] - (indescribable)

Just looked at the OP for Read or Die. Colour me unimpressed. Anyone got a summary so I don't actually have to watch?

[edit] Ten minutes into it and I'm still unimpressed. Am I trying to dislike it? No. The CN trailers were interesting. But something about the OP turned me off, and so far it hasn't gotten me back yet.

Friday, October 22, 2004



(6:42 pm PT) - she's not good for much, but always good for a cheap laugh
[link] - (indescribable)

Today we had an emergency with the toilet. It back up on an extreme level, and even started backing up in the tub. flooded the hall, and threatened my brother's stereo and mixing equipment. We couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong. Thought it was a tree that's growing nearby, or maybe when the city cleaned out the sewers. Perhaps the drains got flooded because of the rain.

Well the maintanence man shows up and snakes it out. No, it wasn't any of that.

The upstair's female threw a pad into her toilet.

This is a mistake I think all females make once... when they're just getting their cycles for the first time in puberty. Certainly by the time you're freakin' 30, you know better.

So, in light of the situation, my younger sister has nicknamed her "Miss Maxi."

That's going to stick in my head for awhile.



Thursday, October 21, 2004



(9:33 pm PT) - Replies and a bad memory
[link] - (indescribable)

I was going to say something here, something more than just replies, but much like a butterfly, the thought flittered away. Damn, I hate that. Oh well, maybe I'll remember, eventually.

One week con countdown. Domino, if you want to send the funds along now, go ahead.

Kit, I would very much appreciate getting picked up. But the bus comes in around 7. Actually, considering Greyhound is always late, let's say it wouldn't get there until 7:30-8 on the 28th. Would this be a problem?

Ki: Your question answered here.

Gah, I really wish I could remember what I actually wanted to post about.

[edit] Now I remember. (It wasn't important at all, but it just irked me to forget.) I've had the Mirage of Blaze DVDs for approx. a year now, and I still haven't watched them. I was considering watching them before the con, though I'm rethinking that.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004



(9:24 pm PT) - Mo`re answers
[link] - (indescribable)

In response to my earlier post, to which Mo`re is asked:
     "So, Mo're... what's the best way to prepare a virgin?"

Cut for weak constitutions

Monday, October 18, 2004



(10:23 am PT) - Checklist
[link] - (indescribable)

Hotel reservations: check
Greyhound ticket: check
Yaoicon reg: check
money still owed me by family: I got a bat and I know how to use it.



(12:00 am PT) - character Q&A meme
[link] - (indescribable)

I've been hedging on memes and quizzes. I wasn't going to do this one, but one of my originals (don't ask which) insisted.

Grabbed from: Actually it's been floating all over, though last person I saw it with was Amberlee.

Ask any of my characters from any of my fics anything you want. They will answer.

Saturday, October 16, 2004



(5:36 pm PT) - Time waster site
[link] - (indescribable)

Here you go: Abi-Station. The avatar and icon makers specifically. Haven't tried the portrait maker yet. And for those ever wanting a real pic of me, you're not likely to get it, but you can have this chibi caricature instead.

Me, if I were a chibi

Yes, I do tend to look like that when I walk out the house.

Oh, in case you missed the previous post, I really would like some suggestions if you have any.



(10:04 am PT) - To Mina
[link] - (indescribable)

Mina, got the CDs yesterday. Will burn tonight and hopefully send back Monday, Tuesday at the latest.

Thursday, October 07, 2004



(12:36 pm PT) - Wanky family conversations
[link] - (indescribable)

Mom: I went to Claire's to get another bracelet. The girl behind the counter pointed to some that were "too" gold.
Me: Screaming fake?
Mom: Yeah. I prefer the real thing. ::holds up new bracelet:: This for example is genuine, authentic plastic.
Me: ::chokes and nearly shoots pepsi through nose::

She always says these things when I'm drinking pepsi. I swear she's trying to make me choke so I'll croak and she gets the insurance.

</spam>

Thursday, September 30, 2004



(8:50 am PT) - Finally
[link] - (indescribable)

I don't think I've ever been as happy to see a month end.

Monday, September 27, 2004



(7:32 am PT) - Nothing much
[link] - (indescribable)

Life is still full of boxes and such. Persons residing with me wonder why I haven't straightened anything out yet. I tried to explain that when it comes to jobs like that, I'm lousy with figuring out what to do. I need someone to tell me exactly what the job is, or I'm lost. Always been like this. At first I thought it was me being lazy, and I can't say I was happy with that. Now, I still think part of it is laziness, but it's also more severe than that. Eh, I'm not going to worry too much. Eventually I can figure something out. People just get annoyed with me because I don't do it on their schedule. Shoot me, I'm slow. Better yet, help me and I'll be faster.

Tone. I don't think many people understand how important that is. Whether it's a story or one's voice, tone holds a great power, especially in interaction. Which is why the mother and brother units both tend to irk me because they sometimes speak in a tone that would lead one to believe they're pissed off. Worse with the brother unit, because he's also vague, so I'm in a position of thinking he's pissed, and not understanding why.

I do want to try for one of those home buying programs, but sometimes I wonder if I'll ever know what it would be like to live away from them. Only I also know that, for all my anti-social/extreme introvert tendencies, I could never live alone. I need someone around, even if I don't say much.

Nothing of any great importance has been happening on this side of the screen. I've a GB fic in progress, but I'm wondering which of my other still open fics I should go back to. Anyone with a suggestion?

Oh yes, found one of those mysterious feed readers for Locuran. ::waves to Ronda:: I've added you to my LJ list to keep up, now that I know you're out and about. Does Koi have an LJ?

NaNo is going to be harder than usual this year, as it happens right after I come back from the con, so I'll have to try and reign in the buzz and immediately focus on the story, which I'm still undecided on. It's a toss-up between a sequel to last year's Winter fic, or Mo`re's backstory. (Of course, this only matters if anyone bothers reading last years.) Miracle voted for Mo`re, I know. I'm still on the fence.

I'm not sure what to do with this GB fic. Should I post what I have or just keep pecking. (Sometimes I really do wonder why I write though. And should I continue.)

Ah, rambling. That's quite enough. Well I'm getting 4-9 of Ayatsuri Sakon today, which should cover the second arc, and perhaps part of the third. I'll only watch the second, then I'll give a first impressions report. At this point, having seen the first arc, I'm pretty much hooked. Bish and murder mystery, with a nice creep factor that's not gory. Got my vote.

I love mysteries, even if that's one of the few things I could never write

Tuesday, September 14, 2004



(11:00 pm PT) - moving, the final chapter
[link] - (indescribable)

I may disappear come Thursday. It depends on if the yahoos at the phone company will give me a dial-up number or no until they turn the freakin' DSL on. And that won't happen until the 24th, so I'm told.

If anyone needs me, send an email and just wait. I'll read it when I can.

Sunday, September 12, 2004



(1:14 pm PT) - nixing satellite
[link] - (indescribable)

Okay, you spoke, or two of you, and knowing what I do know, I'm nixing the satellite idea. But the only way I'd do cable is if I had the modem and equipment myself, instead of leasing from them. So either I'dd do that, or stick with SBC unless I find a dsl alternative. (Highly doubtful that.)

Interesting bit today. I was going through email when I noticed one from from Yaoiville.net. I didn't read it all, but just followed the link, which took me to a Slayers fic that sounded vaguely familiar. Having nothing else to do, I read it thinking, "This is pretty good." Then I get to the end and, while it's a complete one-shot, I was wishing the author had done more. Then I look at the author name.

Ah heh.

I guess if I want more, I'd better write it. Least it was better than the usual, "I can't belive I wrote something this awful," reaction.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004



(6:10 pm PT) - Interesting...
[link] - (indescribable)

Apparently I've found a BDSM online text roleplay game.

You know I'm so going to try it.

Oh yes, because I forgot to mention, the brother-unit is letting me use his DSL for the time being, so I am connected for the most part. Doesn't mean I'm happy with the situation.

Friday, August 27, 2004



(1:31 pm PT) - Moving... part X
[link] - (indescribable)

So the move is taking place a week from Saturday. The Matriarch is packing things people tend to forget, especially stuff you tend to store and forget about. Moving the comp is going to be HELL. Do you know how man cables and crap I got going back there? David's worse. He's got sound systems, comp, keyboard, tv, et cetera. Oi. I liked it better when we only stayed in a place for five years. Things were a lot easier to move.

So once we get over to the new place, we have a year's lease. During that time, we're going to (hopefully, know on wood) enroll into a first-time home buyers program for low-income families. Mom's now with me, so it looks like if things go well, we'll be heading for the SF/bay area. Not sure if David will come with us or no. But again, if things go (relatively) smoothly, then that will be the last move we make.

Though it's getting to be a bit, no, very annoying hearing other people telling us we can't go. The matriarch told our (soon to be ex) therapist, and she went strangely quiet. Plus, my sis works as an in-home server worker for the matriarch and David, so of course when mom goes, that income goes. She's spouting off how that's her money we're messing with, we can't go, so on and so forth. I don't think she realised just how much this is pissing the matriarch off and making her want to leave even more. To her ears, (and she's not far off the mark), sis makes it sound like the only reason she wants us to stay is for the money. How freaking shallow can one get?

Don't answer that.

In other news, two links for those looking fo decent electronic deals. http://gotapex.com/ and http://bensbargains.net/ Both courtesy of The Screen Savers. Might want to look around.

And now, a million years after Kit gives them to me, and just as I'm getting ready to purchase the DVD hybrids, I'm finally sitting down to watch Get Backers. Speaking of which, I'm totally in love with #4 of the manga. Don't know why.

Before I close, a large thanks to Ko-chan. You gave the whole family a laugh with the X-mas New Year Valentine's Day St. Patrick's Day Easter Father-no 4th of July BIRTHDAY belated card.

Yes, folks, that's just what was in the card.

Still sporadically online. Moves are stressful. Hopefully my snark will be returned to me soon, so I can inject something other than "My So Called Life" type posts into this thing.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004



(10:16 am PT) - To Domino (everyone else, move along, nothing to see)
[link] - (indescribable)

The Matriarch claims I'm still going to yaoicon, even if she has to do a payday loan. So I went ahead and reserved a room. Oct. 28, check-in at 3pm, four nights. Things are stressed to max around here, but I'll try and get on in a few days if you need any more info.

Monday, August 23, 2004



(11:44 pm PT) - Morbid fascination
[link] - (indescribable)

You know you've done it. If you've ever read any fanfiction, the chances and averages point to you having done it. You don't know why, but you did.

You willingly read bad fanfiction.

And I don't mean read it, realised it was no good, and stopped. No, I mean knew it was bad, because it started that way. Knew it would end that way, and yet still read it all the way through.

Nor do I mean fics of the "please, Goddess, grant this person a spell and grammer checker" variety, but the kind that should have had an IAU warning: Impropable Alternate Universe. (Or for the more snarky, IACR: Improbable Alternative Canon/Character Rapage.)

No, I don't know why you did it, either. I don't know why I'm doing it. It's like that bad car wreck. You know there's a body mangled beyond decency in the twisted metal, yet you can't help looking.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004



(12:25 am PT) - The Spam Jam on Your Hourglass
[link] - (indescribable)

Quickie: ::hugs Ronda:: Didn't know you read this thing. Thanks, luv.

And now, here's some numbers for you regarding just what spam costs in the form of time...

The Spam Jam on Your Hourglass
"Although spammers love to say "Just hit the Delete key," it totally misses the point. By the time the spam hits the fan (well, when it hits all our mailboxes), so many costs have been incurred by so many people other than the spammer that it is either na?ve or an utter act of denial to pretend that those costs can be undone with the pressing of one key.

Spam is about the numbers, so go figure: Here's why hitting the Delete key isn't really a workable solution. The U.S. Small Business Administration estimates that the United States has approximately 25 million businesses. If only 1 percent of those 25 million decides to send you just one single unsolicited e-mail per year, you average 685 spams per day in your inbox. If it takes an average of 10 seconds per message to open a message, determine that it is spam, and hit Delete, you spend two hours per day disposing of e-mail you never asked to receive."

Two hours of my time I could spend procrastinating on something else, thankyouverymuch. Damn you spammers, give me my time back right now!

Tuesday, August 17, 2004



(10:00 am PT) - Tired
[link] - (indescribable)

I get more tired the closer I get to my birthday. Don't know why.

I keep trying to write, but RL keeps interrupting me.

Blah, nothing to say, really. Move along.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004



(4:11 pm PT) - In other news...
[link] - (indescribable)

Dear Coporate Media Companies and other entertainment bigwigs of Amercia,
   Wake up and buy a clue, your fans are not your enemies.

Friday, July 30, 2004



(9:40 pm PT) - Ugh
[link] - (indescribable)

No snippets today, so I'll aim for tomorrow. I was dragged outside (noooo, sunlight...) and didn't get a chance to write anything. Though I have an idea for what's next.

Mina: I'll email that snippet to you tomorrow, with basic html if you want to drop it in (I apparently forgot to change my html shorthand when I posted). I'll send a title along with that. If you want to archive (why, I don't know) go ahead.

Okay, I'm in a pickle. I just joined a nice Paintshop Pro group today. But the mod, after hitting my background graphics, started asking me a bunch of questions about my site, inlucding what does "yaoi" mean. I will admit this question always makes me nervous with a stranger wants to know. You just don't know who will and won't go, hmm, "off" once they find out. The group looks fun. Sheesh, not sure how to handle this one.

I'm going to go make some tiles and ponder on it.

Thursday, July 29, 2004



(11:20 pm PT) - don't hiccup, LJ
[link] - (indescribable)

I don't know why, but during some template editting, LJ hiccuped on the feed. ::shrugs:: Hopefully that won't happen again.

Next snippet tomorrow. Sue me, I'm slow.



(5:18 pm PT) - Snippet 1: Mina's request
[link] - (indescribable)

I caught a stray muse, who was kind enough to let me get at least one snippet out. I believe Mina wanted something with Mille Feuille. So here you go.

For Mina: Set at end of battle in #13...

Tuesday, July 27, 2004



(12:20 pm PT) - Need help, and snippets closed
[link] - (indescribable)

Okay, first, I'm going to go ahead and close any snippet taking suggestions. Now if you wanted one but didn't tell me what kind, you can still tell me. But no new requests for the time being. Hopefully I'll get to work on that tonight/tomorrow.

Second, I NEED HELP. Yes, I mean this, I need help here, so please take this seriously. I got money riding on it.

A guy has offered me $20 to find a copy of a (very painful and traumatising) video featuring Eddie Murphey and Michael Jackson... and come back here right now! I know that alone scared you off but I'm serious. Anyway, the deal is I'm trying to find a file of this video, "Whatzupwitu," that can be burned to a DVD. Obviously the guy willing tobuy this is a masochist. That's the only explanation I have.

Now if nobody can find a download, the next best thing is someone offering either a tape of DVD. I can still get a finders fee and he can buy it from whoever himself.

I've tried looking already, but the only thing I found was useless far as me burning it goes.

And KEE-RIPES, that song and video is AWFUL. Little wonder it came up #2 on VH1's worst videos of all time.

But hey, if I can make a buck off of it, I can't complain too much.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004



(2:37 pm PT) - Brower scolding
[link] - (indescribable)

The more I use Firefox, the more I hate IE. Now IE won't even render a character encoding for a double arrow. In Firefox, no prob. IE? A box.

I'll give them until next year. If I don't see a new browser by then, screw IE completely. It's a developing nightmare.

Monday, July 12, 2004



(12:52 pm PT) - Spammer streaming consciousness
[link] - (indescribable)

The newest spammer trend is to through a bunch of words together in the hopse of confusing jumkmail filters (it hardly ever works). Then the actual spam content is in an image. Normally I toss, but this one made me chuckle for weird reasons only my subconscious knows of.

"bonbons remain temporal. Any particle accelerator can pee on toward cheese wheel, but it takes a real mirror to customer near pickup truck. Indeed, avocado pit around seek living with hole puncher. And bur the dark side of her paper napkin. anonymous ditty riverside glow"

Ah, what won't these spammers do, I wonder.

Wednesday, June 30, 2004



(9:43 pm PT) - Randomly, life is strange
[link] - (indescribable)

::offers Ko-chan many many virtual cookies:: Unless you want more "fudge".

On a totally unrelated path, I'm sure you're familiar with those "Chicken Soup for the ____ Soul" books. They have CS for the Horse Lover's Soul, CS for the Teenage Soul, etc. Well, now they have "Chicken Soup for the Canadian Soul."

... I think if there's any commentary to be done on this one, Mina should do it.

Monday, June 14, 2004



(2:36 am PT) - So what's the difference if blood is spilt?
[link] - (indescribable)

Call it coincidence. Call it irony. Call it just something that happens. I don't know and don't care. I just know I came across this place, and this kind of hit me.

First let me say that I wasn't looking anywhere near this direction. In fact, the journey is very strange if I map it from start to finish. I'm considering putting all the background tiles and border images up for grabs. I need a php gallery script, but I want something to let the viewer see how the image looks as a background. After looking all over the place, I remembr Nucleus having a bit of a pop up code for use with images. This will work, but I want the categories to show all, and not just a set number of posts. So I go browsing the Nucleus forum, which reminds me that there's another question I had a while ago. So, I'm looking around, taking my time because I haven't been there in awhile. I come to a post mentioning something about MoveableType going paid and probably losing it's user base. I've never liked MT from the moment I first tried it. The install lasted all of five minutes before I got rid of it. So I follow the link moreso to read people's comments. From there I follow a trackback to a site called Stupid Evil Bastard. Normally I shy away from such sites, because I get the impression it would be highly opinionated, which is fine and I don't need to be there. Well I browsed around, because I couldn't find the entry I wanted to read. Here I discover that yes, SEB is opinionated. But while I don't agree with everything said, (and who agrees with someone on every single point of existance?), I find there's a person who makes remarkable sense.

But then, how can you fault a site with a subtitle, "What the fuck is wrong with you people?"

So I'm browsing some more, enjoying intelligent snark, when I come to this post about abortion clinic arson and killing.

Xinnis - The Confessions of a Clinic Bomber

I just had to pause, because even though I'm pro-choice, it really never clicked on me the true hypocrisy that these supposed pro-lifers display in their arrogant use of violence. Not all pro-lifers are like that, I know, but the fact that these people exist, and don't even realise they're contradicting themselves on the grandest scale of all, almost boggles my mind.

Almost.

So, if by their definition, abortion is murder, and murder is wrong, explain this line of reasoning to me. Or is this the great loop of paradoxical logic of a lier telling you he's lying?

Or should I assume they are in fact applying a very skewed heterodoxal logic instead?

Saturday, June 12, 2004



(5:27 pm PT) - rambling insightful overly wordy bull - about thoughts.
[link] - (indescribable)

Sometimes there's no point to them. They jump around and sure, you try to catch them, but how long can you hold onto just one before it escapes your grasp? If you're lucky, you can catch the same one. Though you run the risk of repetition and redundancy, like the purring 'r's of that last sentence fragment. But more often than not, you can't find it, so you grab whatever's available, or whatever you can actually lay a hand on. Then it's you that appears to be jumping around. But you're not. You're chasing wild, illusive, imaginary butterflies on the worst LSD trip known to man.

Sometimes it's great fun. And if you're lucky, you might be one of those rare individuals who gets that prized conversation with GoD. There's a risk inherit with that as well, unfortunately. You know, that "nutcase" branding. But if you honestly don't care, (and you're not a danger to yourself or others), then it's perfectly alright. Besides, it's the journey that's important. Or in this case, the chase. And there's so many to behold. You can collect them by the bucket, and toss them enmass to some great pile of creation, the likes of which earn you the saintly titles of artist or genius.

Sometimes it's hell, because you find you're just getting pieces and fragments. You're left with a puzzle that you have no hope of completing. You can't get others to see the picture in its partial state. You know what it should be, but you can't get it there. It hurts, this incompleteness, this intangibility that refuses to be molded into a coporeal form or substance. It hurts.

Sometimes it's chaos. They surround and overwhelm you. You drown from the sheer numbers, sanity caving in under the weight. For an unlucky few, some don't appear to be there own, but those of another, some ghostly nonexistance that manages to speak to them. And you wonder just whose counsel are you taking. There's no sink or swim, only sink.

Sometimes, sometimes, but the constant is they are there. Nothing changes that except death. And that can only be considered a variable.

At least until someone comes back and tells us how it is on the other side.

Friday, June 04, 2004



(1:08 pm PT) - business research so far
[link] - (indescribable)

So at Miracle's advice, I did some research into FDA regs on food commerce. And apparently they don't allow interstate commerce of food products made in a home kitchen. Now the usual way around this is to perhaps rent a commercial on, or ask a church, probably for a smaller fee.

However, I'm a cheapskate, and figured one easy way around it, and still being able to stay my own (perfectly useable) kitchen.

So I can't sell across state lines. Fine, I won't sell. However, that doesn't stop me from sending "gifts" for "donations." Not to mention, most donations are tax deductible, though I think that's mainly for organisations and such.

This also gets me free of the need for a nutritional label, though I read that very small businesses or those with a small turn around can be exempt from that anyway.

I'm fairly certain there's more of a leeway with the bath/body care products. I'll look into that next.

On a completely different front, the person who conned me with the Neurontin, (because that's the only thing I can call it at this point), as pissed me off. Two days ago she sends an email saying to have her money ready, because she'd be by the next day. Yesterday, when she was supposed to come, she didn't. She called, but made no mention of the money. Today she leaves a message one hour before she shows up, expecting me to have cash. When I offered a check, she didn't want it, because she didn't want the hassle. But she has a car, whereas I do not, something she's quite aware of.

Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture?

Mom said she'd pull the money out. I told her she can talk to and give the money to her, because at this point, I'm too pissed to want to deal with her. I know if I tried, I'd say something she'll royally regret.

::deep breath:: Anyway, a couple of you asked when I was looking for selling ideas what kind of occult items I would sell. I was thinking things as EO blends, hand made jewelry, and a few divination tools. Maybe tarot card resell. (Truth, I would love to find an artist and work on a deck together, but that's one of those faraway hopes.) Looking back into the jewelry bit again. (Fates know I wouldn't have to deal wih the FDA on that one.)

Going to rest, because I didn't sleep well, (sightjacking on Siren is just too creepy), and was awaken by a low flying helicopter this morning.

Dear inner city ubanites, what's the point to the violence? If you're going to rob something, go for a bank, not someone as broke as you are.

Friday, May 28, 2004



(11:19 pm PT) - A needed laugh
[link] - (indescribable)

There is something inheritly wrong shocking disturbing hilarious about this picture.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004



(5:49 pm PT) - Worried
[link] - (indescribable)

Now that it looks like I'll get to see the end of Wolf's Rain, I feel an uncomfortable pit in my stomach. Something tells me the ending is not going to make me a happy camper, not at all...

Saturday, May 22, 2004



(5:37 pm PT) - Pain reminds me I'm alive... and wishing I wasn't
[link] - (indescribable)

Still To Do:
  1. organise freeware program folder
  2. reclaim HD space
  3. find an unfinished fic and write something, damnit
  4. finish crocheting vest
  5. watch programs:
    • last Call for Help show
    • Slayers Premium dvd
    • Ebichu eps Kit sent
  6. consider doing fic drabbles on request
  7. look for wallpaper worthy images
  8. procrastinate on something I should have added here

That's actually not that bad, considering my usual methods of procrastination.

I will talk of Slayers and Ebichu later. (Oh boy, will I talk about Ebichu later.)

Wednesday, May 12, 2004



(8:37 pm PT) - Note
[link] - (indescribable)

Anyone looking for me, I won't be on until approx. 10pm PT. You've been warned.



(1:04 pm PT) - little inane weirdness
[link] - (indescribable)

For some reason, seeing the word bromide, which is also Dictionary.com's WotD, makes me feel weird.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004



(9:50 am PT) - Get ready for the shot heard round the world, because I'm going to kill the bastard.
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm calm. I'm so calm. Really, I am. I'm just finishing up my afghan, which is really pretty, least to me. I'm calm.

And I'm going to be so calm when I kill Marlon.

It seems the fake Buddha borrowed the family car last night. And no, I don't consider him family. At one point, he has to go and take a piss. So what does he do? He jumps out the car, leaving the keys still in the ignition.

So the family no longer has a family car.

I'm going to kill him, pure and simple. I have three guns to choose from. I'm thinking I'll go for the .22, because the .35 requires close range, and the 12 guage would be too messy.

Not that there's anything wrong with mess. I mean, if I had time, I'd get creative and use the special knife I keep sharpened in the kitchen. We affectionaly call that the Norman Bates special.

But I don't want to get too close, not this time. Any other time would be okay, but this requires some distance. Basically, I don't want to be stained by his blood. I'd feel tainted. I feel tainted just sharing the air with this subclass of animal species. So I don't want any of his blood on my clothes, even my oldest, most ratty of such.

Of course, I could go the kosher method, but that would require rigging the tub with something to support his weight, and I don't have anything strong enough for that.

The only problem with shooting him is it would be much too quick. See, the car was just the icing on the cake. There's been too many other things to just type off right now that makes me want to ensure he sees Death in with as much pain and agony a single human being can suffer before they break.

I feel I'm perfectly justified.

So, if you see me on the late night news, you'll know why. If you don't, it probably means my therapist got to me first, and I'm sitting in a nice, white room somewhere, wearing the latest in straight jacket fashions.

Friday, March 12, 2004



(6:59 pm PT) - ... woah.
[link] - (indescribable)

When did this one slip by me??

I wish I had some friends who lived close by, so we can all cringe at the porn corn.

Thursday, February 26, 2004



(2:49 am PT) - randomness
[link] - (indescribable)

So after my connection drops me for a few good hours, it finally comes back on just as I find myself unable to sleep.

I have mixed feelings about that coincidence.

Well, because I'm not quite awake, but I'm not quite asleep, I'll just spam the feed with random things that need to be said to parties, but as yet have not been.

If I find a person isn't listening to me, or is showing a pattern of not listening, I'll slowly stop talking. This is usually synched with a distinct feeling of getting some distance for myself. Why should I keep trying? If it's not an equal effort, I'm gone.

I cannot deal with people who can't see outside their own bubble. It's just impossible. There's more out there than what's going on locally. Now it's okay to feel this bubble on occasion, but when it becomes a 24/7 routine, I tend to toss my hands up.

If people don't want me to form negative opinions about someone else, don't tell me anything negative about them, period. If they're a genuine asshat, that's going to come through no matter what. However, if one is simply having a had encounter with an otherwise friendly person, don't tell me of the bad encounter unless you plan to counter it when those feelings are no longer on the forefront of one's mind. Otherwise, I will form an opinion, and it will be an inaccurate one, because I tend to side with the person/friend I knew first, or have the better relationship with overall.

If I want advice, I'll ask. If I ask, please, either answer or tell me why you can't. Don't leave me hanging, because it's likely I won't come back seeking said advice, and will disregard anything said at a later date as well.

Elitist annoy the hell out of me, especially in regards to anime and manga. If one person writes a fic based solely on one media, they don't need snob A telling them that's wrong based on continuity in another media. Face it, there's differences, and not everyone is able to get all important aspects to a given show.

I can't take phone calls, (or any other conversation, but it happens more often here), where the person calls me, then expects me to carry the conversation. Um, no. If I wanted to talk, I'd call you. You wanted to talk to me, so start talking. Otherwise, I'm gone.

Melodrama does not endear me to anyone's plight. Period. I had to deal with entirely too much when I was growing up. Now pisstivity is totally different, and we all have our days. Same with depression. Melodrama is when I can cue it, or that is to say, I saw it coming ten miles away. Sometimes, yes, everyone has that "the world's in ruin, everything sucks, including me" kind of day. But not all the time, not unless something is wrong upstairs. In that case, seek professional help.

There is no, repeat, no such thing as a writing formula in regards to fiction, fan or original. None, you hear me? Absolutely, positively none. And I don't mean grammer, spelling, and punctuation. I'm sure any writer worth a grain of salt has a basic idea of those rules. No, I mean plot, style, characters, and substance. What works for some just doesn't work for everyone. And not everything is going to please everybody. People are different, their tastes are different, and damnit, the stories are going to be different, too. It's the highest level of arrogance for anyone to feel that all, or even a majority of writers should follow some self-decribed plan to writing a better story. Because I want to know what happens when someone does follow said plan, only to show the story to a group of people who don't like works written in such a manner?


It's raining now, which always makes me feel a little cleaner in that rather dusty place i call my soul. I think I'll lie back down and listen to the crying clouds a bit.

Thursday, February 12, 2004



(1:07 am PT) - Numbers US citizens should consider
[link] - (indescribable)

I meant to post this link pointing to Kit's LJ when she first mentioned it, but I got distracted. Then when I went back to look at the link, I found it was locked up on a subscription, but access could be bought for an English pound for one day. So I bought it. Now I'll repost it here so I don't lose them again.

Numbers under current presidential admin



Tuesday, January 20, 2004



(12:29 pm PT) - Random chaos
[link] - (indescribable)

This bit was cross-posted at thetendermuse writing community. The original prompt was:

Draw or visualize what chaos feels like for you. Write a description.

Time: 10 minutes

Taken from Writers Digest's "Writing Prompts for Every Day, March 2003"


Here's the result...



Silence. Darkness. Senses rendered mute. Nothing to confirm my existance. My mind briefly touches the old philosophy, "I think, therefore I am." It's meaningless, because for all I do know, my thoughts are someone else's dream, and will deliquesce with the coming of their morning.

There is no existance. There is no concept of the word. There is no death, for there is not life to end. There is no life, simply because there isn't anything that is. Words can't describe this, for words are used to define something, yet there isn't anything for these tools to act upon. Even a 'nothing' is a thing in comparison, but there isn't that much to go on.

Yet in the same vein, there is that nothing. Or better, with this nothing, this absense of being, there is an unknown, which creates a singular something in the lack, this void I am referencing so poorly.

In this unknown-nothing, perhaps there is an order. An order for the not, the opposite of the is and it that lay claim to chance. Chance, a form of chaos to others, an idea, a tangibility. But there is order in the randomness of existance, too. There is order in chaos, and order in nothing. Order-Chaos lends itself to life and being and knowing. There is nothing to fear. Chance leads only to surprise. Strength of character determines survival thereof.

Unknown-nothing-order is worse than death. Even with the unknown of chaos-order-chance, there is the knowledge of something: thought, object, emotion. It is there to be acted upon. The void is not so gentle. There is that blankness. Intangible empty that isn't even there by it's own definition of 'not being'.

This is my chaos, the unknowledge residing in the space that can't be contained/defined/described with words alone. It is there, lurking under the surface of a possible illusion of my living, of my being. All I can say is illusion, thanks to this unknown-nothing-order.

Because I don't know

Wednesday, January 14, 2004



(12:15 pm PT) - The sheep get weenie-er
[link] - (indescribable)

I was originally going to make this a comment in Mina's entry here, but it got too long, so I decided to post it here. Might as well, as I've not been saying much of anything else.

Now, about this fandom scruples...

.... open letter.

Dear weenie fucks people who are obviously without a life,
since when is it my duty to babysit other people's kids by locking down what the hell I write?

I have news for you. When it comes to locking down TV, that's still on the side of the owner, i.e. the parent.

If John and Jane don't want their precious little Mary to read oh so naughty fics, then they damn well better look over her shoulder, toss on some content monitoring programs, and just pay attention, instead of using the comp as a baby sitter, and comdemning mature, otherwise socially responsible adults who happen to enjoy a kinky hobby.

If the fic is labeled, that's enough. The writer is no longer responsible, any more than a magazine is if a kid picks it up and comes across something risque.

Parents are the ones who should be held responsible for what their kid understands. I say this, because they really shouldn't try to control or restrict. This will only make the content a forbidden fruit, causing the minor to want it even more, and without having a good understanding of what they're looking at. Instead, just talk to the kid. Trust me, it's easier, and it works a hell of a lot better.

(Besides which, if the kid's meant to be a pervert, nothing short of intensive therapy is going to change that. As long as their perversions don't infringe on someone else's personal liberty, then where is the freakin' problem?)

Please, go find or buy a life now, because this is going to backfire greatly.

As for the lacking of principles, all that happens to be is people imitating their various governments, none of which stand on any principle outside whatever currency that country uses.

Thank you and fuck off good day.
- LN


Saturday, January 10, 2004



(9:20 pm PT) - ::whaps self:: Post, darn me
[link] - (indescribable)

Actually, haven't been posting because there hasn't been much going on I feel merits writing about. But I said I'd be social, so I will, or I'll try.

First, at least from those I've heard from, I'm again glad you liked the packages you got. And I have an idea for this coming holiday's theme, so you've all been warned.

Second, to Mirchan and Domino, I got your pics. Thank you both! Miracle, lovely as always, our darling couple is. Domino, I've been threatened with pain of bad food if I stick your picture out in any public areas of our dwelling spot. This means I can't put it in the living room to shock the guests. They always spoil my fun.

Kit, hope you're still enjoying the peace. Don't rush to get back. You're not missing anything over here, I assure you.

Mina, I told the mother-unit what you said about your sis going for the balls on the fudge. She told me to tell you thanks, as she hasn't had a laugh like that in awhile.

Raine, still with us? Again, I'm going to be delayed, as I was blindsided with a $200 hit to my account that I was freakin' NOT expecting this month. /=_=\ I'm sorry. I really want to send this to you. I think you'll like it.

Have I forgotten anyone? If so, smack me remind me. I'm feeling out of it at the moment.

Okay, so I am still in need of some Sesshomaru character sketches, because I'm having zero luck finding any, especially of his back. I need to know how that armor looks.

More than that, I'm having serious trouble getting into a writing mood again. Now granted, I'm currently fighting the Red Brigade, which always leaves me tired the first couple of days, but any tips for breaking out of a writing slump will be met with lots of sex, any way you want it my undying gratitude.

And on a last note, I went googling for porcelain penis figurines. I've yet to find any. This saddens me greatly.

Wednesday, December 31, 2003



(9:55 am PT) - SNAFU
[link] - (indescribable)

I've been quiet, I know. Nothing to say, really. Glad the hustle of the holidays is finally winding down. Perhaps slight melancholy because I know how I'm spending this evening, but that's okay.

It seems the packages I sent out are being well received, for which I'm quite glad. That makes everything worthwhile, when I see people enjoy what I give them, because I don't like just buying something out the store anymore. I want to put as much of myself into it as possible, and the best thank you I get is knowing the person is truly happy.

Other than that, got SimCity 2000 for the GBA. I get myself my own gifts, as nobody knows me better. Though Mirchan's doujinshi is definitely in the top 5 this year.

So I'll probably continue to be quiet until I get my equilibrium back (don't feel like spell-checking that). If I don't say anything else, then I wish everyone a Happy New Year.

Friday, December 26, 2003



(11:51 am PT) - Uh-huh.
[link] - (indescribable)

Gacked from Mina...

Look everyone! You can have someone write that Mary Sue for you for a mere $80.

... ye-ah.

Sunday, November 23, 2003



(6:59 pm PT) - Ouch
[link] - (indescribable)

If anyone's looking for me, don't. I'm sitting on my side of the monitor, alternately trying to finish my NaNo fic while dealing with a migraine that is making for violent urges against self, namely in the form of gouging my eye out to see which would be the worse pain.

My money's on the migraine at this point.

And I also think I'm experiencing what my lovely therapist called a psychotic break. Fortunately, it's minor. Unfortunately, if this is to be the case, it doesn't say much for my emotional condition.

Good Permanent Solution: None financially viable yet.

Bad Permanent Solution: Specialty cocktail with lasting results
Pros: No more noisy neighbors. No more headaches. No more idiots.
Cons: Permanent solution to temporary problem.
Decision: Hell no. I'm many things, suicidal isn't one of them, at least not any more.

Good temporary solution: Go out
Pros: Wouldn't be here. Might enjoy self.
Cons: Wouldn't be able to work on story. Costs money. Need group of people I could tolerate to go out with.
Decision: Too cheap to implement.

Neutral temporary solution: Sleep
Pros: Form of coma, puts RL on hold. Erotic dreams a plus.
Cons: Eventually waking up, worse if dream did not finish.
Decision: Nah.

Bad temporary solution: Get mildly intoxicated
Pros: Buzz
Cons: Hangover
Decision: ::opening bottle as I type::

Thursday, November 13, 2003



(3:28 pm PT) - ?
[link] - (indescribable)

Amber, how are you able to read the LJ when I've been making friends' only post?

If there's a security hole, I need to know, as does LJ.

Friday, October 24, 2003



(11:47 pm PT) - Ye-ah
[link] - (indescribable)

Life has decided I will suffer, and I will watch others suffer as well, online and RL.

To Life I say this, thou art a fiend, and will not exist in the mind until verily I have finished Castlevania: Lament of Innocence.

Forsooth.

There's still problems with the pictures. Pictures or now, I'll get around to that recap on Sunday, now that I don't feel like my sinuses were possessed by Slimer.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003



(12:24 am PT) - I know there's stupidity in the world, but this just hurts my head
[link] - (indescribable)

Someone please please please tell me...

Tell me it's a joke

Monday, October 13, 2003



(1:41 am PT) - bad fanfiction pairings, take 2,347,983
[link] - (indescribable)

::beats head in:: Inuyasha and Kagome I can take. Kagura and Naraku I can take. Sango-Miroku, sure. Shippo-Kagome, go for it. I can even go for Naraku and Kikyo.

But what in the great blue blazin' hells are some people smoking to try pairing Kagome with Sesshomaru? (And I don't mean in a non-con, either.)

If you must make it het, if you must make it Sesshomaru, then at the very least, age Rin and have them go at it. He's a demon, he'll live that long, trust me.

::gags:: Somewhere I'm sure someone is already posting something to the effect of:

"KagomexSesshomaru! There luv will last 4evah!!!11!"

(Yes, with the typos, too)

Edit: aff.net makes all the celestial deities weep.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003



(10:34 am PT) - ho-hum or grr
[link] - (indescribable)

To answer Mina's question, four words:
female cycle
mailing lists

That sums up the preceeding post.

Sunday, September 21, 2003



(12:47 pm PT) - rambling disguised as poetic verse
[link] - (indescribable)

flap flap flap
artificial wind
hitting the blinders
half an eye to the world
have an eye to the world

tap flap flap
Gaia blood for air
wasted on a portal
shielded from the bright sun
shielded from the bright son

tap tap flap
spinning cyclone
white noise drowning
waste in comfort wants
waste in comfort haunts

tap tap tap
little keys tickled
still can't capture
fan against a window pane
wind across an eye of pain

Thursday, September 11, 2003



(3:53 pm PT) - It's still another day, no matter the past.
[link] - (indescribable)

So of course I'm not allowed to simply pass through this day like any other. Noooo, someone eventually feels it their civic duty to remind me what today is. (Like I actually forgot. HelLO, it's called pretending.) And they wanted my thoughts on the matter, and what this country is doing, yadda yadda yadda.

1. My thoughts are my own. If I feel like sharing them, I'll put them here.
2. I don't know what this country is doing. I only know the government sucks.
3. It's more than this country in the world, for crap's sake.
4. Believe me for the shallow individual I am when I say I can do naught but live as I've always done. Period.

But no, wasn't good enough for them. So for that person, I shall sit back with a smile, and say this.

Prior to this day two years ago, I didn't mind the sound of the hospital helicopter that made frequent passes over my apartment. One year ago today, I was just learning not to jump when I heard it. Today, I find I don't mind anymore.

Yet, I still flinch at the sound of a heavy whip cracking against the back of a human. Except they're told they're not a human, simply because of pigmentation, religious beliefs, or other trivial difference. Trivial, because it's a learned difference moreso than any genetic one.

So tell me, is it possible to wake up from a nightmare I didn't have, yet I still dream of, when I was not yet born?

Answer this for me, and I will tell you my thoughts on today. Until then, today is no different from any other. For you see, I can't live in the past, if I wish to survive the present.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003



(9:12 am PT) - patterns in a blackhole
[link] - (indescribable)

It creeps up on you, giving no hint of its existance until you feel yourself swallowed whole. Surrounding you, there's little difference between pleasure and pain, and oblivion becomes a sweet addiction on the tongue. Others offer redemption, or so they claim. They want to give light, not to save, but merely to feel that sense of omnipotence. It must truly dispirit their egos when I reject, or laugh. I have no illusions of this light. And I know their falsehoods, that which they would swear by a thousand unnamed gods to be true. There's little time for such trivialities now. I would say it's far too late, but I feel a sense of beginning. To question which it is would only delay, ironic given the lack of rush.

There's only one light that can penetrate this monstrous lover, a light relentless as the imagined purity of heaven, or the perceived fires of hell. It robs me of this, I don't recall asking for in the first place.

Though it's not for a lack of trying.

Thursday, July 24, 2003



(9:47 pm PT) - Um... yeah...
[link] - (indescribable)

Normally I don't mind comments, since I usually assume they're coming from associates. And usually they're about recent posts. However, sometimes you get something that just defies the normal flow and logic of things.

My dear Cyprine, you are very much entitled to your opinion, and really, I'm glad you like Sorcerer on the Rocks. However, please note that this isn't an anime site. It's a personal blog. Therefore, I can't say I'm terribly appreciative of the suggestions of having others buy it. I could see if this were a general review site; that's to be expected, like, say the reviews on Amazon.com. But obviously that isn't the case here. Furthermore, that post is in my archives, something seldom visited. It's a rather old post at that, so it's doubtful if the comment would even be seen. Add to that the fact that my readership is mostly a small group of various online acquaintances, and it becomes a question of point.

I can't say I like the idea of anything being "pimped" on my blog without permission. The comment feature isn't meant for such things. Nor, contrary to what others may believe, is it mandatory to use. Then there's the simple matter of courtesy. Just recently I asked permission to post about the blogathon on some MLs I am on. Of the four, three said yes, one no. I respectfully did not post on that one.

I understand you probably get no gratuity for that promotion, but an advertisement is still an advertisement.

My "review" is a personal opinion put on a personal space, a place not necessarily intended for open reviews. That's for generalized sites with a group of contributing writers and journalists. This is no more than a diary without the lock.

I suppose if I'm honest, I'm troubled at the urging you made of having people buy this. And with it being on my journal, it would look as though I'm in fact allowing the endorsement, for that's all it can be called. This is untrue. I for one do not want to have someone buy it, dislike it, then turn and say to me I caused them to waste their money, when in fact I did not urge anyone to do any such thing. And if one thinks that won't happen simply because my original post says otherwise, then I suggest a few psychology classes, for the human mind is very intricate, yet can be easily manipulated even without being aware of it.

I'm sure no matter how I've phrased this, I will appear to be something of a tyrant. I'm sorry if that will indeed be the case, but in all fairness, that is my right with this being my journal. So I'm going to remove the comment now, because I simply feel too uncomfortable letting it stand.

Thank you for your time.

Saturday, July 19, 2003



(3:43 pm PT) - No Procreation before Mental Masturbation
[link] - (indescribable)

Listen to me well, America, for thy society is riddled with fucktards and must be told the same thing over and over again.

I don't want children.

Yes, it's true. I'm a female who does not want to procreate. Get it through your effin' skull.

Don't tell me children bring you joy. It's a freaking gamble at best. I got two sibs right now who don't bring my mother one clambaked whit of joy.

Everything about a kid is a gamble. You don't know how my genes might arrange themselves. I could royally screw the kid over just by deciding to fuck on the wrong day of the month, and they get one of my bad eggs. And let's not forget the other half of the pair. Because there's a bigger chance of getting a bad sperm.

And allow me to be selfish...

I don't want to lose sleep wondering if I'm doing what's best.
I don't want to responsibility of trying to both protect them from, (yet somehow teach them of) the horror of just living in the world as it is today.
I don't want to run the possibility of this child having something truly wrong with him/her, yet I'm utterly helpless to do anything about it.
I definitely do not want to force another living creature to suffer what I have, if not freakin' worse.
At the same time, there's a chance I'll wind up with a selfish, self-centered, egotistical jack-ass who will hate me simply because I couldn't get them [insert useless material possession here] like everyone else.

Don't don't don't don't tell me it won't be like that, because nobody knows. When it comes to having children, it's all up in the air, and I'm not a gambling woman.

I won't lie. The thought of having someone to look after, to nurture and help shake (not mold into my own image as some parents seem to wrongly think) has indeed crossed my mind. Most likely, it's the idea of being loved. But contrary to popular belief, the love of a child is not unconditional. Once puberty sets in, it's all conditional.

So, for unconditional love, and having someone need me, I'll settle for a cat.

Saturday, July 05, 2003



(12:47 pm PT) - Just because I'm bored, and they're piling up
[link] - (indescribable)

Just a bunch of quizzes/test I took and never really linked to before now. Why? Lazy, of course. Most of these were pulled from various other people. A couple I pulled the image but forgot to get the link, so I don't even know where I took the darn thing anymore. Oh well. Here's the horde...

(Quiz Load)

Friday, June 27, 2003



(1:30 pm PT) - Open Letter
[link] - (indescribable)

I don't know if you're out there dealing with the daily grind, or dead. Perhaps I missed my chance already, or I'm just impatient. Hard to say, given the unnatural and imposed order of the world today. It can't go on, I know. I'm just not sure how much time is left. I'm hoping I'll meet you before then, if I haven't already. Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed.

They say there's someone for everybody, so I'll wait it out until we run across each other, okay?

Sunday, June 22, 2003



(12:58 pm PT) - I wish...
[link] - (indescribable)

Kit - if I had the money, or if your dad worked with any of the special grants, angencies, and such, I'd buy it. Then you know it'd stay as is, and hell, you could visit any time you wanted.

When will you come back from Chicago?

Everyone else, I'll hopefully have something of worth to say later. I feel remiss, I haven't made a great and thoughtful rant commentary in awhile.

Oh yes, and XP? Still sucks, IMO.

Sunday, June 01, 2003



(2:40 pm PT) - Teal Smoke
[link] - (indescribable)

(Cut for lack of comprehension)

Saturday, May 31, 2003



(9:18 pm PT) - A break, a freakin' break.
[link] - (indescribable)

Yes, I have gotten a freakin' break. Because between Wednesday and today, I've been swimming in a river of Chaos, battling the current and rapids in a paper boat.

Not that I have much to say. Well, the problem is I have too much to say and can't sort it out to get it down into anything coherent.

I'm trying out two new animes, Twin Signal and Sorcerer on the Rocks. I'll let you know when I get it. I'll probably try Chobits pretty soon. But, if anyone has any other suggestions for something new to get into (that isn't over 50 eps long), please let me know.

To my own detriment, I purchased The Sims for PS2. I'm trying to pace myseld, because if I'm not careful, it will suck me in and nobody will ever see me again.

The program that did eat my life? The end of the tunnel is fast approaching...

Like I said, I have a lot more to say, but it's going to take some time to sort it all out.

My head feels as confused as a .hack plot.

Friday, May 23, 2003



(10:46 pm PT) - Insanity and the muses who suffer
[link] - (indescribable)

Angst: ::listens to Queen's "Who Wants To Live Foever:: Say, why don't you...
Me: No way. There's only one type of fic I could write to that song.
Angst: But it's a beautiful song!
Me: It screams for a deathfic.
Angst: So? You should try expanding your horizon.
Me: Even if I were, which I'm not, who would I kill off?
Angst: What about him? ::points:: He's been a long standing fave, hasn't he? Especially after looking at Deep Dive and all.
Riku: !! Just a minute, I've been screwed around enough as it is just in cannon.
Angst: And you look so good when you're screwed--over.
Riku: No way. Go kill someone else. Try him...
Gojyo: What the fuck?! Why me?
Riku: Because I don't want anything to happen to Sora.
Angst: And hardly anybody ever kills you.
Gojyo: No, they just rape or torture me, or have me rape or torture someone else. No thanks, I don't need to add death to my list too. Try him....
Dante: Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you. I went to hell, that is more than enough. Try him...
Raziel: One, I'm already dead. Two, I have no face. Three, I have no intestinal organs. There'd be no point. Try him, he's not famous or anything, and he's on an outdated console.
Crono: Outdated?! Just who do you think helped in making Chrono Cross so big? There wouldn't be a Cross without a Trigger, you mouthless jackass. Besides, kill him, he's half dead anyway.
Tsukasa: I'm not half dead, I'm just stuck, okay! When I can log out, I'll be fine. Kill that guy instead...
Kai: I'm too obscure and there's no one to play opposite me except a kid, and I know we haven't gone into shota yet.
Gojyo: ::jerks a thumb at Riku:: We seem to be skimming mighty damn close.
Riku: Bite me. Bite me hard.
Gojyo: Rather su--
Me: Ahem, guys? The song's changed.
Guys: ...oh.

Friday, May 16, 2003



(9:45 pm PT) - Argh.... the words died on life support
[link] - (indescribable)

I had a long and perhaps somewhat interesting post on spirituality through the net... and lost it prior to posting. Yay me.

If the thought should come back, I'll post then. It's just sad and disheartening to lose words to the great void. It's a small death, since it's nearly impossible to claim them back if they weren't saved in some form or fashion.

I did say that while difficult, it was not entirely impossible to achieve some sort of spiritual growth or syncronicity through the great log-on. It's a matter of balance and finding what feels right, and persistance (to find anything in the first place).

More thoughts on this welcomed (least until I can find my own again).

Oh yes, Kit, Bryony is a plant. I was simply stating where I got the name from. The entry goes as follows:

Bryony
A poisonous climbing and twining plant. Black bryony is in the same family of plants as yams. White bryony is in the cucumber family. The root of the black bryony is used to make rubefacients and diuretics, but an overdose can produce a very painful death. The roots of the European white bryony are used to make one of the best diuretics in medicine. Both are used to treat gallstones. The roots of the white bryony, also known as English mandrake, were used to make purgatives, but this is not common any longer because of the plant's powerful irritant properties.
    Bryony is a great name, good for those who are (or want to be) balanced between their male/female or their light/shadow sides. This is a good name for one who is too sensitive, too emotional, and who wishes to become more balanced. This name can help you move from a water-dominated space to a more grounded place.
- "The Complete Book of Magical Names"

Edit: I don't know about the following Sunday, though if you guys don't mind getting up early and doing a bit of traveling, I could show you that comp swapmeet I was talking about on the 31st. Maybe I can grab mom's Access and work it to pick you guys up and go from there. Let me know.

Wednesday, May 07, 2003



(8:09 am PT) - Too many exceptions kill the standards
[link] - (indescribable)

Don't ask, just blame it on the drugs, or my normally suppressed Superego. Smaller font is my Id making noises and breaking the flow, I swear.


A worker is someone who works.
A painter is someone who paints.
While a bank teller will happily tell you
About their new fixed interest rates. ::groan::

A preacher is someone who preaches.
(may they preach me out of this hell)
And just to keep the flow going, (You don't have to)
A welder is someone who welds. ::gags::

A reviewer is one who reviews,
though their words are not set stone. (Agreed)
A hunter is someone who hunts, (poor animals)
While a loner wishes to be alone. (I wish)

A writer is someone who writes. (Duh)
A driver is someone who drives.
(But don't remind her about "capenter"
Since she can't get that to rhyme.)


So tell me, with all these examples
Why there's still one askewed notion (I dunno)
Can't a lover just be one who loves
From one's family to a drop of the ocean (Can I go now?)

Wednesday, April 30, 2003



(5:47 pm PT) - Sometimes just remembering is enough...
[link] - (indescribable)

This post is really only going to mean anything to Kit and Korax. You've been warned.

Fisrt, in response to Kit's post about her thoughts on birthdays. Personally speaking, when it comes to birthdays I don't look for anything. All I really would like is some form of acknowledgement. No, Kit, I don't think it's a big deal if you're not raised in that fashion. In my family, just saying something will suffice, at least for the more reasonable members. (So that's about three of us.)

Utter silence, though, that's a bit... ugh. (Not that I'm accusing you. Obviously you said something, which reminded me.) It's the day a person was imprisoned on this world. Without that, staying here would be that much less bearable--if you like the person, that is.

Eh, that's just how I feel anyway.

Now, as for you... I don't know if you're legal yet, so a strip club is out. (Hey, I didn't score extreme on that Dante quiz for nothing. /^^; ) However, I do hope at the very least today was stress free and you found something to smile about. Better still if you spend part of the day with people you care about, and who care about you. You survived another year of madness and chaos and your sanity is (more or less) intact. That's something to celebrate, I think.

In short, happy bday, Korax.

You're now qualified to get a T-shirt saying, "I survived another year and all I got was a crummy blog entry."

(I'd offer a fic, but I'm not sure if our tastes are the same anymore. Wallpaper?)

Wednesday, March 19, 2003



(12:19 pm PT) - This is what happens when my sleep is interrupted
[link] - (indescribable)



Will be social later, and explain my absense.

Monday, March 17, 2003



(3:00 pm PT) - Inspired by the windy gusts rustling the trees...
[link] - (indescribable)

watching the trees
I hear the wind
carrying the souls now gone
but my tears catch
my fear gripping
as the air gathers in strength
no need to cry
I'll simply wait
and the rain will bring them back
a new life begins
while watching the trees
knowing I'll travel that path...
one day

Monday, March 03, 2003



(9:28 pm PT) - Brain draino
[link] - (indescribable)

I'm assuming tonight's ep of Reign was the last new one. I'd like to say that it chewed my brain, swallowed it, and spit it out into little chunks.

However, it was rushed. That should have taken two more eps at least IMO. Rushing will always mess up a good flow.

I'll quit yakking now. Really.

Saturday, March 01, 2003



(11:18 am PT) - Mo`re Moment, rerun?
[link] - (indescribable)

Does anyone remember this Mo`re Moment? I tried searching in Locuran, but I couldn't find it. Well, if I'm posting twice, I apologize. I just like to keep track of all these little snippets.

(Rated R for imagery)

Sorry to those on LJ, I can't yet hide the extended entry part the way I'd like to.

 

 

Friday, February 28, 2003



(8:11 pm PT) - I'm breathing...
[link] - (indescribable)

I fell asleep, I meant to be on around 6. Anyway, for those with AIM, I'm here until 10ish PST. If there's a lot (yeah right) maybe it'll turn into a chat.



(12:03 pm PT) - There is a difference between a blog and a blournal...
[link] - (indescribable)

I was originally going to say that Mr. Zawodny's "The 10 Habits of Highly Annoying Bloggers" 1 entry is forgetting that blogs and blournals don't fall under the same category. (A blournal to me is define as, "a personal online journal written and/or presented in the style of a weblog.") However, after doing a few blournal link jumps, I found this entry and decided it wasn't worth the effort.

I think later, once my brain has unscrambled from the tarot readings I was asked to do this morning, I'll "think deep thoughts." ...probably not, but I can hope.

Who am I kidding, I'll post the first thing that comes to mind, be it a rambling diatribe against the injustice against the world known as Stupidity, or hoping Popeye's is having a deal on their shrimp baskets.

It feels good to be myself. Sometimes.

1. (I would link directly, but frankly, I don't want to get listed on Mr. Zawodny's trackback page.)

Wednesday, February 26, 2003



(9:28 pm PT) - Oohaa
[link] - (indescribable)

Anyone who looks at Reign the Conqueror on Cartoon Network, feel free to comment on tonight's ep. I'm still tripping over it, though I wanted to gag at Roxanne's pink outfit.

And dear goddess, Hephastion's voice... he sounds so effem.

Monday, February 24, 2003



(8:40 pm PT) - when the spring came (subject courtesy of Kit)
[link] - (indescribable)

I have a sudden and inexplicable urge to design a deck of tarot cards. Okay, part of the reason is the current deck I have, and the other is actually Kit's fault for this post. (This link will become incorrect when she archives, so remind me to update it then.)

Note to Kit, griping about the academics of school is perfectly alright. The sickening thing is listening to those in your age group who whine about things like clothes, boy/girlfriends, not getting something from their parents that they don't need and won't help them in their education. Or the really bad, wannabe gothy types who bemoan fate itself... because they can't get their allowance. I'd rather see you bitching about actual classes and school works than be forced to listen to crap like that. Besides, your ranting means you actually care about your education. That is, unfortunately, very rare in my neck of the woods.

In other news, I can't find the book I wanted anymore. I know the title, "Meadows of the Damned and other poems." I know the author, David W. Bosen. I believe the publication year was '75, but I'm not sure about that. But can I find the book? Noooo. I can't even freakin' google for it. Believe me, I've tried.

Dear Mr. Bosen, were you merely a figment of my overworked imagination?

...I don't know if I'll ever get there, but along with the tarot deck design, which will no doubt be a personal thing, I want to write poetry, and maybe get published. I'd sooner want to get my poetry published than any of my actual original characters and fics. (See Kit for being brave enough for that.)

Wednesday, February 19, 2003



(10:08 am PT) - Strange Referrers.
[link] - (indescribable)

Checking my extreme tracking account, I found I've been searched by the following keywords/phrases...

neurotin
wolf's rain toboe
Toboe is cute
little girls death by hanging
saiyuki fanfic
Locuran
manga crossdress
the little death

Go ahead, pick the one that's most bizarre, I dare you.

Sunday, February 02, 2003



(9:11 pm PT) - Grah, she's blind, and so am I...
[link] - (indescribable)

For the record, I'd like to say that I hate surfing sites with my mother. She constantly forgets her glasses, and I have to make the text huge as a result. This in turns blinds me.

Well, I did a little something today. I redid the frontpage of my LJ. Now I only tested it out in IE6 and Netscape6, so if it looks flooky anywhere else, sorry. I must point out that I don't code for the older browsers, though. Opera is strange, that's all I'll say about that. Unfortunately, those other pages like friends and calender will have to wait.

My brother loves me. I know this, because who else would promise to buy me a separate gamecube next month just because he knows I'm as avid a gameplayer as he is. Nevermind the fact we live in teh same place, either. Remind me to get him some hentai anime later as a thank you.

Finally got my hands on DMC2. Ki... it's 2 discs. Why didn't someone tell me it was 2 discs? This is the first 2 disc game I've gotten for PS2... I'm now very scared.

Notus... tomorrow, definitely.

...if you were looking for something profound or meaningful, sorry, I'm having a videogame moment.

Saturday, February 01, 2003



(1:19 pm PT) - Frig
[link] - (indescribable)

Headline from CNN reads:
Seven astronauts killed as shuttle shatters - Feb. 1, 2003

I can't help but feel it's only another prelude to the end of the world.

To quote Mina, Just... damn.

Sunday, January 26, 2003



(11:56 am PT) - enemy mine?
[link] - (indescribable)

I am depressed. I know this, I can step outside my emotional sense of Self and see this. But I still can't pinpoint the why when this happens. Oh, I know exactly what the trigger is this time, Wolf's Rain ep 1, but that's only a trigger and not the source. It's the source I want, and the source I want to eradicate... Destroy.

There are too many problems, not just depression, that I'm sure I can trace back to this nameless, indescribable source, this thing. Darkness, or a hole, an absense of something, or an overabundance of shadows. It's hard to say at this point.

Even if I had the ability to wipe this unknown out, do the pros outweight the cons? Surely I would lose much of the energy I draw from when I write. But then, I could sit down and watch an anime and not have to worry about some near sadistic emotional feedback clawing at my conscious and conscience to drag me down into a truly unnecessary pit of oblivion and despair.

It may sound like an easy decision to some, but for me, hardly.

Of course, I don't yet have the ability to remove this entity from within myself. I can't locate it, I can't name it, so how can I annihilate it?

I see the carnage the enemy is capable of. I know well the results of an attack or ambush, but I still don't know this enemy, even as it sleeps inside me.

...I go now to remove the mood icons out the template. They're good sometimes, but not always. They'll come back soon enough.



(11:16 am PT) - Um... hmm...
[link] - (indescribable)

Let it be known that I've looked at ep 1 of Wolf's Rain. I'm already strangely depressed. (Not to mention I'm a cat person.) Kiba's cool, which I guess is to be expected. Not sure about Tsume. But it's not grabbing me, probably because the potential angst factor is obviously, extremely high. I'm all angst out on my anime, really. Not sure how I feel about this yet. I'll look at ep two later.

Friday, January 24, 2003



(9:19 am PT) - Morning, Friday
[link] - (indescribable)

It's Friday morning. Once this used to mean something to me, but all the days are just blurring together at this point.

Well, socialize.

Domino - Being tolerant of something and writing something, well, it is two different things. (I do like Lulu from FFX, but I doubt if I ever wrote a fic centering around her, just because it's not in me. Although I remember this person's list of what she would and wouldn't write, and it seemed a bit ridiculous at the time.)

I get what you're saying, but ignoring the source, the words still make sense. However, I'm aiming that tolerance to extend to all characters, because really, I'm sick of hearing about character bashing. (In a fic is sorta okay if it really goes with the plot.) I just had to send an email to the KH list last night stating character bashing, be they male or female, is unnecessary. You know how ugly things like that can get on a list. I'll kick it in the ass first before I deal with the headache of a flamewar. If they want to call me controlling, I told them, make your own list and run it the way you want to. Let's see how well that goes over.

Kit - thanks for the link, got 1-3 last night. Will look at them sometime either today or tomorrow. (Yeah, I'm part of the crowd for once... this isn't as satisfying as it should be...) Is that where you got your Gluhen from too? I couldn't find any. (I'm going to do a lot of burning to get these monster files off my HD.)

Oh yeah, don't know if you ever figured out that FFX glitch you said you had, but I know as far as dodging goes, you can't get hit, and you can't have an encounter, so no random fights. Otherwise you drop back to one, while the counter stays at whatever was the highest run you dodged, and you have to start all over again. So the only way to really do that is with the no encounter ability.

Of course, you may already know this, and you really are having a bad glitch, to which I have no answer.

Oh yes, one last question... does your dad charge for business advice? /^^;

Raine - No, you're not late, I am. Welcome back to the nexus of depravity and all that is sacrilege... the net.

Anyone who sent me email, I'm working on it. I've been doing the mod monitoring thing on the KH list and I keep forgetting. Heck, I get tired of looking at Hotmail after I get through sometimes.

Last night I was forced to stop and look at my sites, those still under construction, those more or less done, et cetera. I then asked myself why. Why am I doing it, who am I doing it for? I supposed this stems from paying a random visit to llamajoy and tenshi's site, and getting the feeling they do it for each other. So why do I?

I haven't come up with an answer yet, which is bad.

And in closing, the nucleus support forum is a nice place to visit for those wanting to see the inner workings of this lovely program. My only beef is the database table names are still hardcoded into the program, which makes it difficult to install another instance of the prgrame into the same database. It can't all be perfect, though.

Wednesday, January 22, 2003



(2:33 pm PT) - small, unrelated snippet that shall never be...
[link] - (indescribable)

Where that I could say I love you. But see, I don't know that word. I don't know that four letters are supposed to sum up the end all and be all of my feelings for you. I do not know this word is supposed to let you know how deeply I've let you into my heart, or how you exist every moment in my thoughts. Can you really tell, just by my saying that word, that eternity alone would be a hell, a nightmare, a curse, while a mere day with you would make even the angels in heaven jealous of such an oasis? Is one word going to make you understand that the dreams I have of you are still dull and hollow compared to when I wake up and feel you in my arms? Is one word truly able to let you feel a fraction of the light you bring into my life just with your smile, or the heat of a thousand suns just from your touch?

One word, to do all that?

So you see, I don't know this word, because it's certainly not love. It's something more.

And better still, in that I know you feel the same, without saying a word.


Before anyone asks, no, I'm not aiming that at anyone. It's a character snippet, thankyouverymuch. Probably Winter, or maybe Luonn... As if I had someone I felt that way about. I'd be happy with a fuckbuddy at this point.

Tuesday, January 14, 2003



(12:38 pm PT) - I hate the "poor me" syndrome, especially when I do it.
[link] - (indescribable)

I can't stand the "poor me" bit. I hate it even more when I'm the one doing it. Sometimes, though, you do feel that way. That you're just a complete waste of air-exchanging-CO2. It's harder when you see others pairing off, grouping off, what have you, and you're like the last kid picked for teams during recess. (Man, I've been that so many times I quit trying to get into group activities.)

What can you do? How do you change that feeling?

When I think of an answer, I'll let you know. Right now I'm going to this damn appointment whether Fate, Destiny, and whatever other Deity is looking wants me to or not.

To hell with the whole lot today. You can send down your lightning bolts on the way. Of course, that will kill me, which isn't necessarily a bad thing far as I'm concerned, but I won't be around for you god-types to torture, now, will I?

Didn't think so.

Maim me on the way home if you want a cheap laugh. I'll still get the last one.

Friday, January 10, 2003



(12:46 pm PT) - Rantings of a madwoman in B minor
[link] - (indescribable)

The following is a stream of perhaps subconscious thought that I have no explanation for. Take it as you will, or better yet, don't take it at all. All the words to just sit there and serve a personal purpose...




How long has it been since I set foot in this particular area? And what is it for? What isn't it for? Sou desu ka, my fangirl Japanese would ask a question never given. Thoughts a slow tumble now because my inner core, my sense of self and the energy that came from it has been under attacked. The reserves are nearly depleted, but there is nothing I can do.

Chemical warfare is at hand, the air filled with a sickening stench that drives us away. How can the enemy be so immune to it? It is inconceivable, to say the least. Perhaps they have been trained to become used to this, which would grant them a most insidious advantage, while destroying their foes.

It is but one of many things that would make me hate, if I knew no fear of the destruction that such an emotion would cause.

To let free of my eternal reign of that one aspect lurking within myself. To taste such glorious freedom. But it would be for naught, since such acts that would surely be unleashed as a result can only bring about another imprisonment from the dregs of law produced by the so called authorities.

They know nothing, but they wield all the power.

And those who know are beaten for that wisdom. Such is the way it has always been, and it will continue to be.

This corporeal reality limits me, it stifles me. I did not ask to be born into this, therefore it is difficult for me to appreciate my life as it flows through this existance.

What is real? What is not? What waits for me when my time is done? Dare I hasten that time? Shorten it? Am I afraid of doing so, or do I fear the consequences of my actions?

There are entities here who would miss my presence. Such as it is, I find I cannot shake my mortal coils just yet, despite a desire raging so fierce it is a wonder that I can exert any control over it.

Is it the same inferno that would unleash itself on the world, washing over innocents and evils alike?

To that I wonder what is an Innocent, for I have not seen one. Perhaps I was one for a time, but I have been marked, cursed with knowledge I didn't want, but my mind is my own enemy, and I attained this information against my subcoscious will.

Reality grants me a perfect day outside my window, while imprisoning me to the river of damnation inside the dwelling I once knew as home.

If home is where the heart is, then I am forever a vagabond.




Thursday, January 09, 2003



(8:35 pm PT) - Chains of love is playing in the background...
[link] - (indescribable)

Before the usual litany, let us be social...

Domino: Sorry, by the time you sent that message, I was already gone.

Mchan: Missed you yesterday. Yes, you probably needed to sleep if you slept that much. Hope you're feeling better.

Kit: I know I'm late, but congrats on getting into Willamette U, and on the scholarship. You deserve it.

There's an unfamiliar person who listed me as a friend at my LJ. I don't know them at all. Verry strange...

What is so hard about the fallowing scenerio?

Mother-Unit: ::walks into room:: Briana, Shelya, when Bri gets her next paycheck, I want you and yours out by a two-day grace. ::leaves room::

Simple, yes? So why can't this woman grow the freakin' cojones and just say it? Daniels is right, since neither David nor I created this BS, we shouldn't be the ones to tell them to get out. It's her fault, it's her responsibility.

In the meantime, I'm going to start looking into places for rent in Gardenia. Maybe even a roommate for David and I, though that's only in case of extreme need.

Random thoughts spilling forth... begin.

Creativity, imagination... these aren't tangle entities, but rather an energy that exists within us all to a degree. Like any energy, it can be recharged, and also consumed. It's a fickle thing, however, depending on the person. Some people are recharged by the flow of energy they receive from having others around them. Others are not so fortunate. Their energy comes from within, so having too many around them is a terrible drain on their source. In extended periods, when this loss is constant, it can manifest itself into physical symptons. But perhaps worse than that is the terrible loss to simply create. To be unable to use hands and mind which could once produce works to fascinate and entertain others is unbearable. To become trapped within a shell, having no outlet, nothing to rely on inside where there was once an abundant lifeforce is nothing short of a nightmare.

To be forced into such a state by another... is unforgiveable.

Art exists in many forms. Silly that humans don't realize death is it's own art as well. Perhaps it is the epitome, the culmination. Of course, they say art immitates life. So death but be a thing of beauty that is beyond the ability of the average mind to capture. Certainly when faced with this lack of refinement, these uncouth individuals would fail to appreciate the esthetics of what is also a fundamental part of life itself. Not only is death a work of great wonder in and of itself, but it becomes a part of the cosmic elegance that is balance. To live and live without death, without loss... humans may think they would be able to endure a proclivity for immortality, but in truth, the unbroken circle of neverending repetition would ultimately destroy their soul. Humans need death if they are to know the exquisiteness of life.

Sadly, they often cannot appreciate either one.


Sunday, December 15, 2002



(5:53 pm PT) - Blue flames. Don't ask
[link] - (indescribable)

It's official, the whole of the core of the family (this is myself, brother, and mother) want Bri gone. Fortunately, I believe we get liberated Wednesday (whether they've found a place or no. Don't worry, they won't be in the street).

Maybe then I'll be able to get into this whole Xmas thing, though I doubt it. It happens every fucking year, just when I think I'm going tohave a peaceful Xmas, mother does something to bring some truly unnecessary stress into the picture and fuck it all up. And she claims she doesn't like Xmas, but I told her, whatever hangups she's got about it are her own fault and her own doing.

Randomness, it totally sucks there's not so much as a real artbook for KH.

I'm thinking fudge, white-chocolate-swirl with walnuts. I've a recipe, just have to alter it.

The family core also agrees, when it comes to killing someone, guns are so passe. There's no art to them. All they do is put messy holes into you.

Now let's take a knife. Anyone who's seen YnM or knows about the YGO character Malik will know that you can carve some pretty nice designs into someone's back with a knife.

For cunning, you can't beat a hard to trace poison.

Anyone familiar with Morning Star incense sticks? I've rose, lovely scent, but I believe a saw a jasmine that I want to get.

Luonn bear should be coming soon. Luonn is also the protagonist for my NaNoWriMo fic. One of these days I'm going to have to find someone to work on NaNoREMo... Re-editting.

::slowly winds down:: Never knew how much mindless babbling could help a person just lose a little tension. I suppose there's alcohol, but I'd kill the whole bottle in one sitting, which would leave me with nothing but hangover the next day. If I were alone, I'd risk it.

Between Kit's recent inspiration and a lack of ficcing muses on my part, I decided to dive back to wallpapers. Unfortunately, the one I just made, I can't show yet. It was done from some of Ronda Searls work that she gave me at the con. Even though she said then it would be okay, I wanted her to see the final product before I went public with it.

Final note: bad lemon fics are just bad. Good lemon fics are stress relievers.

total posts to date: 1522

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