Home > Categories > FFX > Lumina's Dreamer

Rating: G - light/drama - Posted: 16/1/2005 - Updated: 16/1/2005

Disclaimer: Not a blessed thing is mine beside the fic itself. Keep those devil suits back.
Notes: As should be known by now, none of my FFX fics are taking FFX-2 into account, mainly because I haven't played it. (And don't want to, because the thought of playing with nothing but femme characters bores the hell out of me.)

Summary: Rin let a little something slip to Tidus, and remembers his first love.


"He was my lover, some years ago...."

Tidus jaw all but dropped and rolled a few miles down the road. Of all the things he'd expected to hear, that was not one of them.

That was about as far from anything he'd have expected Rin to say as the Al Bhed could get.

It was evening at the Mi'ihen branch of Rin's travel lodge. They'd both left the airship earlier after Tidus begged the merchant to get him away from the "doom and gloom" that seemed to color the rest of his friends' mood at the moment. Sure, they were going to fight Sin. If anybody should be depressed, it would be him, considering. But Tidus knew it had to be done, so why mope about it?

"Yeah," he had thought, "but tell that to the others."

So after much prodding, pleading, and an offer of a roll in the hay for kicks (which Rin barely turned down), Tidus finally got his request. Rin agreed to take him down to Luca for a bit, under the pretense of getting supplies. But he was adamant about them staying at the lodge. The large city with all its inhabitants was a sore spot to the newly homeless Al Bhed race, after all.

Tidus agreed. Luca was nice, but he needed a little peace of mind too, just without the somber air. So they went, grabbed a light lunch, and took in a game of blitzball afterward, (Tidus kept saying it was weird to be part of the audience for once).

When they arrived at the lodge, Rin showed the teen to his room, but Tidus complained about not being sleepy. The excitement of the game had him to riled up, he had to get rid of some of it. He wheedled Rin into a few card games, complaining loudly at how much he owed after a spectacular loss. Fortunately, Rin said he could pay it back after Sin. That was something, sorta. The merchant then suggested something that wouldn't hit Tidus's pockets so hard. Agreeing, the teen immediately jumped on 'Truth or Dare'.

He just wasn't prepared for Rin's truth...

"Wait a minute, hang on. Your lover?"

"Yes. You seemed surprised."

"Well, yeah. Hell yeah, I'm surprised!" Tidus blinked, shaking his head. His brain just would not make the proper connection. "Your lover? But, how--no, don't answer that. When--no--Did-- does anyone else know?"

Rin leaned back, his eyes falling closed as he gave it some thought. "Just one person, but I know he'll never say anything. Other than that, no. Well, maybe, but I can't be sure about her." The last word is more biting than Rin would have liked, but old feelings just die hard--

--if at all.

"...well?"

"Well what?"

"Well who's the guy that knows?"

"... Not saying."

"Riiiiiin." Tidus almost pouted, but perked up again. "So you really--I mean--really? ... with him?"

"I just said that, didn't I?"

"But, man. I mean, the way people talk about him... it's really wild."

At this, the Al Bhed sighed. Yes, he understood what Tidus meant, but what good were all the accolades now? Still, Tidus was a relative newcomer to all of Spira, so of course he wouldn't know. But it felt like nobody truly knew, save the one.

"He was a man. Just a man, Tidus."

This caused the teen to pause. Something in Rin's tone, or perhaps just his eyes, which were now open and gazing out the window. More than just his words let Tidus catch of glimpse of the emotion laying dormant beneath the cool persona on the surface.

"Did you love him?"

Did he?

Rin continued to look outside, a faint smile tugging at his lips. It was a small smile; a completely unconscious act on the merchant's part, but there just the same.

It was enough.

"... Did he love you?"

The question brought a pensive, silent answer. Rin traced his lips, his fingers whispering over some half-buried memory whose ghosts only he could still see. Tides wondered for a moment if maybe he'd asked the wrong question. His fears were made moot by the warmth returning to the merchant's smile.

"Ra cyet E lybdinat rec cuim. Vun res, dryd fyc cdnuhkan dryh muja."
(He said I captured his soul. For him, that was stronger than love.)

Whistling, Tidus sat back in his chair, looking at Rin with a touch of awe and longing. "It's still hard to imagine."

Rin just nodded. "I don't think anyone would believe me, but it's true. It's not something I'd lie about."

"Guess not. Why would you want to?" Tidus leaned forward, swinging a leg around out of nervous habit. "Wait, so why tell me then? I mean, it wasn't just because of the game, I know."

"... Good question." Rin took a seat across from Tidus, the creak in the chair giving him a mental note to replacing it. "Perhaps, it's just a story that finally needs to be told."

That made sense. Everyone's story needed to be shared with someone. Tidus was sharing his with his friends, perhaps Auron more than anyone else...

Strangely enough, Tidus found himself wanting to hear Rin's story. Something about the savvy merchant always intrigued him. He guessed not too many knew anything about the person beneath the surface. Knowing he was about to become part of the elite in Rin's circles tripled his curiosity.

"So, um-- Gonna tell me?" Patience was never one of Tidus's strong points.

"It will not leave this room." Not harsh, but the tone would brook no argument from Tidus.

"Cross my heart--can I leave out that hope to die bit?"

Rin chuckled. "Yes, I think that's alright." His mood sobered a bit, the Al Bhed tilting back until he heard the thump of his chair resting against the wall behind him. It had been a long time ago... his past... his memories...

His love.

A part of him wondered just why he was going to tell Tidus, but deep down, he already knew the answer. Tidus reminded him very much of the one he once held in years gone by. Maybe this would be his completion. And besides, he couldn't help but like the hyper teen. So...

"You have to understand, just associating with the Al Bhed in any form would have garnered a lot of polemic reactions from the Yevonites. To know about us would have probably got him banned from the priesthood or whatever he was in." Rin paused at the ill-muttered 'hmph' from his companion. "What?"

"That's just stupid. I mean, so the Al Bhed have a different way of thinking, so what? And I've been inside Bevelle temple. They were using machina in that--"

"Welcome to the hypocritical world of politics, Tidus. Now, do you want me to stop, or--"

"Nono! I'll shut up now, honest!"

"Hh. As I was saying, we obviously had to keep our relationship hidden. Moreso from the Yevonites and those serving the temple and order. He'd often make trips to Home, since we didn't have to worry as much there. Oh sure, some of the Al Bhed turned up their noses, but we were more accepted than we would have been in any of the Yevon cities."

"But I heard what happened, at least, far as everyone else knows. So, why? What happened to you two that he--"

Rin closed his eyes, giving the ghosts free reign. Many things had happen, some too personal to really talk about. But he still remembered. He'd never forget, in truth. To forget might mean he'd forget about him. For someone who took calculated risks in his business every day, that was too great for even him to chance.

"I still remember our last time together..."

=====

"You're really going to do this?"

Rin watched with guarded eyes the one he'd come to know as his lover. True, they were both rather young, Rin especially, but it didn't matter to him. Nothing mattered more than the person he cared so much for, and the fact that Rin felt him slipping through his very fingers.

"Don't you think I'd rather be with you, Rin? I'd like nothing more than to laugh in the face of this imposed conformity and just be with you. But... but..."

"But you've seen it. Your visions."

"So raynd. (My heart) You were the only other one who felt my visions were more than just odd dreams. Dryhg oui. (Thank you)"

"How could I not believe? It was one of your visions that brought us together, after all. But--but this. ... You're really going to--and how can you be so calm about it!"

A soft, gentle chuckle caressed Rin more than any touch ever could. He sighed. He would understand; one way or another, the soothing, comforting sounds of his lover's voice would make him see what he couldn't at the moment. Didn't mean he wanted to, though.

"Do you know why?"

Rin folded his arms across his chest, shooting a mock scowl at the obvious. "We would not be having this conversation if I did."

The answering laugh was no surprise. "Point. I do this for you."

"... Me?"

"Yes. I know it will seem like forever before we meet again, but we will. And before that, I see the one who will let you enjoy your time here in Spira. Afterward--"

"Don't. I just--I'm trying to be calm, but you're saying I won't see you until I die and go to the Farplane."

"And who said anything about dying?"

"Don't be silly. How else am I going to get there?"

Strong arms folded themselves around Rin, offering the warmth he'd come to crave in the last few years. "I'll let you in on a little known secret. The Farplane isn't just where the dead go to rest. It's where the past waits to come full circle."

"Oui cbayg, yht vmufanc vymm vnus ouin mebc. (You speak, and flowers fall from your lips) I do not understand you..."

"Trust me, Rin, you will."

"Hn. What about--I mean--do you really--is it love?"

"Not like this. It's special in its own way. That's the only way I can explain it. That, and I have to, if the future I saw for Spira is to come true."

"... You know I'm going to lock myself up and never come out, right?"

"No, you won't. Besides, you already did that when I first told you."

"And you've been preparing me for a year, so why isn't it any easier?" Rin turned, hiding his face against his lover's chest. "I don't want to lose you, not even for Spira." He fought desperately not to let go of the sob caught in his chest. The light pressure to his hair, coupled with the familiar strokes, made it doubly hard.

"Promise me, Rin--"

"I did."

"Again. I'm willing to sacrifice a whole world unless I know you're going to be alright. Tell me."

"I..." The warmth of Rin's sigh tickled his lover's skin. He wanted to be selfish. He didn't give much for a world that damned and persecuted his people just because they weren't willing to be mindless sheep and follow Yevon's teachings. (After all, if one didn't know how machina worked, how would one defend from it is someone else used it?) Let the world go to hell and back, he didn't care. And Sin? Just deserts, since he never came to Home--

--though Rin missed the flowers of his adoptive family...

He wanted to say that. He wanted to keep his lover with him. They could live at Home until his business took off, then, anywhere they wanted. Yes, he wanted to, but he didn't. No matter what Rin wanted, he believed in his lover even more. He could see it in the man's eyes; the need to save Spira. Rin couldn't deny such a passionate, driving need from anyone, especially his heart. Besides, it was incredibly humbling to the young Al Bhed to know his lover did this for him.

"... We will meet again in the Farplane?"

"I swear it."

"... I'll cry. I can't help that."

"I know. Just, not for long. You have a life to live before we find each other again, muja."

"I know. ... I don't think it's fair, you know--" Rin could feel rather than see the smile tugging his lover's lips, as if sensing Rin's acquiescence before youth himself can understand it.

"But?"

"--but, I'll wait. I know about the Farplane. It's not the death realm people think it is."

"No, it's not." Pulled closer to the rhythmic beating he knew better than his own, Rin just sighed. Tomorrow, this entire span of his life would be over until he was sent to the next life.

"Rin." The Al Bhed's face was tilted up, swirling green eyes meeting the deep, passionate eyes of his heart. A tickling caress along his cheek startled Rin for a moment, until he recognized the three tiny feathers they had found not long after they'd met. The poem they shared came to mind, and Rin knew in his heart that, no matter how painful it would feel come the morning, he'd made the right decision.

"One is for my happiness," his lover whispered, laying one feather in Rin's hand.

"The other for my health," Rin continued, taking a second and tying it to a lock of his lover's hair. An old Al Bhed superstition, now all but forgotten, to ensure good health.

"The last is something bigger than myself," his lover completed the poem. Rin expected him to simply blow the feather away, to finish the gesture. Instead, the feather was offered to Rin himself. He hesitated a moment, then took it and walked over to the window, where he blew it out onto the sandy winds. He watched as it was carried from his vision, whether by nature of fate, he didn't know. His lover embraced him from behind, letting Rin lean back against him.

"E muja oui, Rin."

"I love you too, Braska."

=====

"So, he knew? Him and Auron and my old man. Yuna. Everything that's happened--that's going to happen--he knew?"

"Yes." The merchant stretched, giving his muscles freedom to move again. "Braska had always been prone to these visions, and they have never been wrong."

"... So he knows how this fight with Sin--" Tidus blinked when Rin held up a hand to stop him. "What?"

"He either didn't know or chose not to tell me all the details, so I can't say how this fight will go--except, I believe you will do what you have set out to do."

"Well, that's something, I guess." A distant call of a night-preying bird told of the late evening hour. The younger blonde pouted, half-hoping time would've stood still for awhile. "I guess we'd better go to bed. Gotta go back to the mopers tomorrow."

"If anyone can help raise their spirits, it will be you, Tidus."

"Maybe." Tidus fell silent a moment, replaying Rin's tale in his mind. "Hey, waitaminute. Auron was the one you said knew, wasn't he?"

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Though it explains the smirk."

Now Rin was confused. "... Smirk?"

"Yeah. He shot you this smirk behind your back once, though I didn't get it at the time. I mean, it sure didn't seem like something Auron would do. Now, I get it."

"Oh. Well, in any case, I should be go."

"Wait. Um..." Tidus hedged, drawing a questioning look from the older man.

"What is it, Tidus?"

"... n-nothing. Forget it." A feather peaked out from the cushion of his chair, which Tidus idly toyed with.

A small, tiny feather.

And another ghost, more real than his memories had any right to be, whispered softly to Rin.

"The last is something bigger than myself..."

"Tidus? Would you like me to stay?"

"... You don't mind?"

To answer, Rin merely went to the door and hung up a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the outside knob before closing and locking it. He stripped down to just his pants, his shirt hitting the chair with a soft rustle of fabric. He moved to the bed to take a pillow, setting himself on one side of the bed while giving Tidus more than enough room on the other.

"... Guess you don't." Being younger, Tidus is a bit more bold as he strips down to his boxers. He practically leapt onto the bed, grinning at the wry look he earned from Rin.

"Whaaaat?"

"Nothing. Go to sleep, Tidus."

"Gotcha!" Tidus settled down, a little surprised, (perhaps not really), at feeling comfortably relaxed enough to sleep. It didn't take long before the teen's off in his own dreams. Rin waited, watching him for awhile for both his own desires, and to make sure Tidus was actually asleep. Once certain, he addressed the presence so familiar to him despite the years of absence.

"Aren't you supposed to be in the Farplane?"

Braska laughed, stepping out of the shadows. His form was vaguely transparent and ethereal, much like Rin imagined he would be if he ever paid a visit from that ethereal realm.

"Can't I come and see how you're doing every now and then?"

"Yes, though I get the feeling there's some kind of milestone in my life about to happen that prompted this particular visit."

"I swear, you use more and more words to say the simplest thing. Must be your old age catching up."

Rin nearly sputtered, keeping quiet lest Tidus should wake up. "Old age!"

The summoner only laughed, which hardly mollified the Al Bhed. "Okay, okay. But you're right, something is, or rather, has happened. Though I think you already know that, don't you?"

"I--I think so." A flash of something caught Rin's attention as he glanced at Braska's hand. "That looks like--is that..."

"It is," Braska said, holding up the incorporeal form of the very feather Rin sent along the winds of fate before they parted. "It was waiting for me when I arrived at the Farplane." Braska gently blew it off his hand, the spirit image landing right where the feather Tidus had played with earlier now sat before disappearing back to the other plane.

"... Can I tell him?"

"No. Don't worry, he will come back for you, once all is said and done. The Farplane isn't ready for him just yet, nor you."

"But you will still be there when it is, right?"

Braska nodded. "You've kept your promise, and I will keep mine, muja." His form faded a bit, warning Rin that the visit would soon end. "I must go, but I'm always there, you know. I've watched you grow and succeed. I'm both proud and happy for you, Rin."

"... Thank you. I--I never told you, but Yuna is beautiful. She reminds me of you so much."

"Thank you. I wish she could have been--but, that's another story." Braska moved closer, leaning over Rin to plant a light kiss on his forehead, fading as he did. "E muja oui, Rin..."

"I love you too, Braska." He sighed as he felt Braska's presence slip away, though heartened that it wasn't completely gone. A small part always seem to stay with him, as it had over the years. Smiling, Rin glanced at Tidus and pulled the cover over the teen, then settled down to enjoy his own dreams.

"... I think you and Braska will like each other. Until then, sleep well, Tidus. And come back soon."


~ end ~